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(Reuters) Sad The Federal Reserve slashes its forecast for economic growth, raises projections for unemployment, and says Europe's debt crisis will probably wreck the U.S. economy. In uplifting economic news: *crickets*   (reuters.com) divider line 37
More: Sad, Federal Reserve, Europe, U.S., gross domestic product, U.S. economy, debt crisis, MBS, exponential growth  
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1072 clicks; posted to Business » on 02 Nov 2011 at 6:27 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-11-02 04:49:24 PM
Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.
 
2011-11-02 06:41:23 PM
RexTalionis: Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.

Even if the EU scheme (no way I'm calling it a 'plan') had gone thru unencumbered, it was pre-doomed. It's only virtue was that it would have allowed the fiction that a fix was possible to be carried out a little longer. Even so, it would just have made the fan bigger and the shiat more stinky.
 
2011-11-02 06:44:59 PM
According to the markets today the fed's report was considered good news....
 
2011-11-02 06:51:52 PM
Farking While Farking: According to the markets today the fed's report was considered good news....

No. today was bargain hunting. The stock market is a pretty shiatty economic indicator anyway.
 
2011-11-02 06:52:35 PM
According to Ghostery, there were seventeen trackers on the article page. Monetize much, Reuters?
 
2011-11-02 07:01:37 PM
Maybe this time we can actually punish the banks responsible.
 
2011-11-02 07:05:17 PM
The ADP National Employment Report topped economists' expectations for a gain of 101,000 jobs. ADP also increased September's job additions to a gain of 116,000 from the previously reported 91,000.

That's good news.
 
2011-11-02 07:17:03 PM
Sergeant Grumbles: Maybe this time we can actually punish the banks responsible.

We got it!

This is what we're going to do... get ready for this because it is INTENSE!

We are going to reduce their severance packages and bonuses by $1 million dollars. When those bank executives finish decimating the economy, they're going to know that we won't just idly take their malingering... they'll have to settle for lives of moderate luxury while the rest of us scrounge dumpsters for discarded pizza boxes.
 
2011-11-02 07:20:40 PM
The_Gallant_Gallstone: We are going to reduce their severance packages and bonuses by $1 million dollars. When those bank executives finish decimating the economy, they're going to know that we won't just idly take their malingering... they'll have to settle for lives of moderate luxury while the rest of us scrounge dumpsters for discarded pizza boxes.

I was thinking more like a guillotine with an iPhone duct-taped to the blade, so we can stream the videos of banker decapitation straight to Youtube. Perfect death by hipster, unless we can somehow reforge PBR cans into a blade sharp enough to sever a spine.
 
2011-11-02 07:39:51 PM
The Road arrived from Netflix today. I'm recasting it to the wife-unit from "scary horror genre" to "documentary".
 
2011-11-02 07:50:38 PM
StoneColdAtheist: The Road arrived from Netflix today. I'm recasting it to the wife-unit from "scary horror genre" to "documentary".

I don't think it'll be that bad.
I'm thinking it will go more Star Trek timeline and the poor will be herded into giant ghettos and kept under control by paramilitary police (with or without drugs). Or Escape from New York, same thing, really.
 
2011-11-02 08:14:03 PM
Was this "unexpected" as usual?
 
2011-11-02 08:32:24 PM
Sergeant Grumbles: Maybe this time we can actually punish the banks responsible.

That is as unlikely as it would be awesome.

/?
 
2011-11-02 08:40:09 PM
jjorsett: RexTalionis: Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.

Even if the EU scheme (no way I'm calling it a 'plan') had gone thru unencumbered, it was pre-doomed. It's only virtue was that it would have allowed the fiction that a fix was possible to be carried out a little longer. Even so, it would just have made the fan bigger and the shiat more stinky.


France is telling Greece to accept it or leave the EU now. I support it fully.
 
2011-11-02 08:44:04 PM
I've got the answer. Tax cuts for the rich.

It has never, ever failed.
 
2011-11-02 08:44:12 PM
Farking While Farking: According to the markets today the fed's report was considered good news....

It's hard for supercomputers trading thousands of times a second to perceive daily events as anything but geology.
 
2011-11-02 08:46:00 PM
RexTalionis: Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.

And Italy, and Ireland, and France, and Spain...
 
2011-11-02 08:54:42 PM
DrVoice: I've got the answer. Tax cuts for the rich.

It has never, ever failed.


And this is why they pay you the big bucks. I would have never thought of that!

/humbled
 
2011-11-02 09:21:42 PM
I've got the answer. Tax cuts for the rich.

It has never, ever failed.


DrVoice, i wish to subscribe to your newsletter
 
2011-11-02 09:34:13 PM
DrVoice: I've got the answer. Tax cuts for the rich.

It has never, ever failed.


Enjoy your totalfark. Come on over to TFD and post a welcome thread for yourself.
 
2011-11-02 09:38:47 PM
DrVoice: I've got the answer. Tax cuts for the rich.

It has never, ever failed.


Quick! Get this man on the President's Economic Advisory Council!
 
2011-11-02 10:34:20 PM
Frakkin casino Dow Jones and people are silly enough to believe that its an indication of anything to do with the economy. The fact that Oracles of New York comes out with their Delphi-ish speech every couple of weeks to placate the economic stimulant junkies is pretty sad. Every time some real facts start to hit people, somewhere in the ECB or Fed you start to hear noise about how they will support the economy by any means necessary. More appropriately, its akin to the movie "Idiocracy" where hookers make men pay to wait for sex. Feds the hooker and they keep the men (AKA stock market) hard up waiting for a release. Problem is sooner or later either you have to go limp or you gonna die of heart failure....
 
2011-11-02 11:25:48 PM
Crickets are good eating, lots of protein. bout all you can afford now.
 
2011-11-02 11:29:02 PM
hold onto your butts.
 
2011-11-02 11:47:13 PM
This all stems from the 2006 Olympics.
 
2011-11-03 12:31:39 AM
deadcrickets: jjorsett: RexTalionis: Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.

Even if the EU scheme (no way I'm calling it a 'plan') had gone thru unencumbered, it was pre-doomed. It's only virtue was that it would have allowed the fiction that a fix was possible to be carried out a little longer. Even so, it would just have made the fan bigger and the shiat more stinky.

France is telling Greece to accept it or leave the EU now. I support it fully.


I don't think Greece in or out is going to affect the outcome at this point. A catastrophe has become inevitable, just maybe a little difference in how fast it happens.
 
2011-11-03 12:50:52 AM
I took a full-time job I didn't really want because I know that we are in a world of sh*t for the next decade. It's all about self-preservation. We are currently in a Japan-style malaise. We could fix it tomorrow if we'd stop playing f*cking political football with economic policy. We're half-assing two types of economic policies to please both sides, leaning heavily to the free market bullsh*t because the Randians control the House and the Dems don't have 60 in the Senate.

I would even approve going full Randian because at least we'd be doing something full-assed! We can see that doesn't work, as we already know, and then make adjustments. But, then they'd just argue that "We didn't fully implement it and we need more time to get more data to see if it's working. Jesus Christ. It's like watching two retards fight over a can of play-doh.

We have GOT to get more money into the hands of a majority of consumers to increase spending in order to get businesses willing to hire again. It ain't rocket surgery and I'm f*cking sick of saying it.

I don't really care anymore. I'm all set. It's maybe 50% of what I want to be earning, but I'm doing just fine. It really is the fault of the politicians. Your anger at Wall Street is 3 f*cking years too late. The target has moved and you don't see that. The economy is the fault of the politicians, not my settling for something less than optimal. That's just a calculated decision. If we stay on this path, we are are absolutely guaranteed to be worse off then our parents and that will lead to a decline of America in many respects. Grab it now, do something now. Vote these assholes out and fight for tax reform that benefits people who spend the majority of their money in the economy on durable goods and get the goddamn housing market sorted out. Flush out the bad loans and start new. Refinance, or kick them out. Make a goddamn decision. Someone. Anyone!
 
2011-11-03 01:33:55 AM
NewportBarGuy: We have GOT to get more money into the hands of a majority of consumers to increase spending in order to get businesses willing to hire again. It ain't rocket surgery and I'm f*cking sick of saying it.

to quote Skwishmitten:

This is wise. You have wised. Good wising.
 
2011-11-03 01:36:45 AM
Also, I've gotten a little favorite happy, what with the whole ease of doing it (Damn you Drew!) AND I'm pretty sure that you've said some retarded things in the past (they could have been simply things I disagreed with); but what the hell...

Favorited (as voice of economic reason)

/run on sentinces FTW!
 
2011-11-03 02:07:29 AM
NewportBarGuy: I took a full-time job I didn't really want because I know that we are in a world of sh*t for the next decade. It's all about self-preservation. We are currently in a Japan-style malaise. We could fix it tomorrow if we'd stop playing f*cking political football with economic policy. We're half-assing two types of economic policies to please both sides, leaning heavily to the free market bullsh*t because the Randians control the House and the Dems don't have 60 in the Senate.

I would even approve going full Randian because at least we'd be doing something full-assed! We can see that doesn't work, as we already know, and then make adjustments. But, then they'd just argue that "We didn't fully implement it and we need more time to get more data to see if it's working. Jesus Christ. It's like watching two retards fight over a can of play-doh.

We have GOT to get more money into the hands of a majority of consumers to increase spending in order to get businesses willing to hire again. It ain't rocket surgery and I'm f*cking sick of saying it.

I don't really care anymore. I'm all set. It's maybe 50% of what I want to be earning, but I'm doing just fine. It really is the fault of the politicians. Your anger at Wall Street is 3 f*cking years too late. The target has moved and you don't see that. The economy is the fault of the politicians, not my settling for something less than optimal. That's just a calculated decision. If we stay on this path, we are are absolutely guaranteed to be worse off then our parents and that will lead to a decline of America in many respects. Grab it now, do something now. Vote these assholes out and fight for tax reform that benefits people who spend the majority of their money in the economy on durable goods and get the goddamn housing market sorted out. Flush out the bad loans and start new. Refinance, or kick them out. Make a goddamn decision. Someone. Anyone!


God damn, I want to have your babies.
 
2011-11-03 02:16:07 AM
Does anyone have a list of the menu selections and the entertainment schedule for the G20 summit?


Anyone?
 
2011-11-03 02:52:22 AM
Maybe the side that NewportBarGuy: It really is the fault of the politicians. Your anger at Wall Street is 3 f*cking years too late.

Maybe the masses from the left and right will finally come together when they realize it doesn't matter if it's heads or tails first into the sphincter, it's the same farking coin.
 
2011-11-03 08:12:54 AM
farkin_Gary: Does anyone have a list of the menu selections and the entertainment schedule for the G20 summit?


Anyone?


Can't find you a menu, but they actually work through lunch and dinner according to the programme. For example, Thursday's working lunch (1pm - 2.30pm) has the theme: Global economic situation Action Plan for Growth and Employment. Link (new window)

To be honest, it sounds boring as hell. 20+ professional speechmakers, half of them jet-lagged, stuck in a conference room listening to each other drone on. Each "theme" is given about an hour. You'd be hard pressed to get a committee of 20 to agree that water is wet within an hour, let alone resolve something complicated like world finance.

/Heinlein said it best: A committee is a life form with 6 or more legs and no brain.
 
2011-11-03 08:32:23 AM
RexTalionis: Way to go, Greece, you country of nitwits.

I just want to know what in the blazes of hell Papandreou was thinking with the referendum. Yes, everyone knows the bailout agreement was a short term "fix." Everyone knows it was a largely symbolic victory that fell well short of addressing both the medium and long-term problems of Greece. The bloody point though was to a patch together in the interim period. Its not like they were advertising it like some Greek Panacea.

Christ. Took over a month of political wrangling in the EU with recalicitrant Germans who don't want to pay, the French who are nervous about their banks, and the rest of the EU who probably have opinions but don't really count because the Germans and French have them by the balls. And he decides to put it to a referendum? I would just LOVE to know why. Stupid. Ass.

And, for the love of GOD, people, stop talking about austerity and cut backs and put people to work. As NewportBarGuy so eloquently put, the time for half-measures (or in the case of Randian austerity, wrong headedness), is over. They need to do two things in this order

1) Address jobs crisis
2) Address long-term fiscal concerns.

This bullshiat about the debt being of a grave concern is utter garbage. They are right that the debt IS a serious problem. The thing is though its a serious problem that will go off after a few years. The Jobs crisis is NOW. Its hamstringing us NOW. Its hamstringing our options to deal with debt NOW. Dealing with the debt problem first is actually undermining the unemployment crisis NOW, unless you actually think laying off hundreds of thousands of public sector employees is somehow employment positive.

We have our priorities dead wrong, and its killing us.
 
2011-11-03 09:02:19 AM
In up lifting economic news: the dow jumped 200 points! Yay!
 
2011-11-03 10:06:55 AM
Wicked Chinchilla: I just want to know what in the blazes of hell Papandreou was thinking with the referendum. Yes, everyone knows the bailout agreement was a short term "fix." Everyone knows it was a largely symbolic victory that fell well short of addressing both the medium and long-term problems of Greece. The bloody point though was to a patch together in the interim period. Its not like they were advertising it like some Greek Panacea.

It's very simple. Papandreou has been basically losing support during his term because of his acceptance of the austerity measures thus far imposed upon Greece. He is calling the referendum to essentially put the responsibility of further austerity measures off of his government and onto the Greeks at large. He figures that it's harder to criticize him for accepting the deal and austerity measures if the Greeks are sharing in responsibility in accepting it in the first place.

Seriously, though, considering that the deal as it currently stands basically writes off half of the Greek debt, which is a hell of a deal that they're not ever going to see again if they pass it up, it's ridiculously stupid not to just take the damn thing.
 
2011-11-05 04:48:24 AM
cretinbob: Farking While Farking: According to the markets today the fed's report was considered good news....

No. today was bargain hunting. The stock market is a pretty shiatty economic indicator anyway.


Wow .. did you type that with 0bama's cawk in your mouth?
 
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