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(Buzzfeed) Amusing The 32 wittiest comebacks of all time. YOUR MOM HAD A WITTY COMEBACK   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 253
More: Amusing, Oscar Wilde, Pierre Trudeau, U.S. Senate, Bill Clinton, White House, Fritz Hollings, Massachusetts, historical figure  
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36141 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2011 at 2:44 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



253 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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sweetmelissa31 [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:06:23 PM
Jerk store.

/I get the impression that people, especially politicians, used to be more clever.
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
2011-11-02 12:23:19 PM
1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?
 
bentheguard [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:24:20 PM
You fight like a cow!
 
The-Brain
2011-11-02 12:27:04 PM
images.icanhascheezburger.com
 
gilgigamesh [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:27:15 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

Just to make it even more mystifying, she's actually on the list too.
 
Cyberluddite [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:38:31 PM
Yeah, well these guys called--they're out of you.

www.majhost.com

/cell phone pic taken a couple of weeks ago in the Carribean
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
2011-11-02 12:43:30 PM
gilgigamesh: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

Just to make it even more mystifying, she's actually on the list too.

The Groucho quote is mangled too, I believe. It's between Groucho and a woman, not Groucho and a man; otherwise it doesn't make any f*cking (!) sense!
 
DjangoStonereaver [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:51:54 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: gilgigamesh: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

Just to make it even more mystifying, she's actually on the list too.

The Groucho quote is mangled too, I believe. It's between Groucho and a woman, not Groucho and a man; otherwise it doesn't make any f*cking (!) sense!

And Groucho's is false, too. (new window)
 
downstairs [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:56:22 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: gilgigamesh: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

Just to make it even more mystifying, she's actually on the list too.

The Groucho quote is mangled too, I believe. It's between Groucho and a woman, not Groucho and a man; otherwise it doesn't make any f*cking (!) sense!

Not only mangled, but false:

Link (new window)

Seriously, at the VERY least just use Snopes to fact check.

Bet 1/2 of these are BS.

I looked around this rather lame site... they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.
 
unyon [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:57:33 PM
DjangoStonereaver: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: gilgigamesh: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: 1. Calvin Coolidge Vs. Some Random Lady At A White House Dinner

Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

Just to make it even more mystifying, she's actually on the list too.

The Groucho quote is mangled too, I believe. It's between Groucho and a woman, not Groucho and a man; otherwise it doesn't make any f*cking (!) sense!

And Groucho's is false, too. (new window)

Without spending time on Snopes, I presume that many of these are apocryphal.
 
thismomentinblackhistory [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 12:58:06 PM
downstairs: Seriously, at the VERY least just use Snopes to fact check.

I think that article you linked to is longer than some of the Obama's birth certificate articles on there, heh.
 
EatHam [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:01:25 PM
downstairs: "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH splash
 
jbuist [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:02:13 PM
downstairs: they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.

Glub, glub, glub, glub?
 
downstairs [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:05:19 PM
jbuist: downstairs: they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.

Glub, glub, glub, glub?

The funny (sad?) thing is they actually said her last words were "We're running out of fuel" or something like that.
 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:21:05 PM
sweetmelissa31: Jerk store.

/I get the impression that people, especially politicians, used to be more clever.

It was probably easier to be clever when you could think of a comeback a week later and then have someone write that you said it.
 
Earguy [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:23:34 PM
sweetmelissa31:
/I get the impression that people, especially politicians, used to be more clever.

s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Maybe, but now if an American politician (e.g., Obama, George Bush) said something like Churchill did to a woman (e.g., Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin), it would be three days of the news cycle and he'd have to apologize and demonstrate that he's not a misogynist.
 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 01:29:31 PM
downstairs: Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.

EatHam: downstairs: "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH splash

Came to make the same joke and scrolled past EatHam on the way down to comment.
 
GAT_00 [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:00:26 PM
At least a few of those were funny.
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
2011-11-02 02:03:01 PM
DjangoStonereaver: And Groucho's is false, too. (new window)

Yeah, I wasn't going to bring that up. The story is funny, so you *want* it to be true.

But messing up the story in the first place is unforgivable.

/Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss.
 
Sybarite [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:17:26 PM
One terrible thing about the advent of the Internet was discovering how many great, funny quotes were just utter bullshiat.
 
Linoleum_Blownapart [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:48:29 PM
Missing the Yahoo! Answers one :

Q:"When a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH", what's a good comeback?"

A:"Well, You better come back with a goddamn sandwich."
 
DiamondDave
2011-11-02 02:49:40 PM
"You clod!"
 
Pep Streebeck
2011-11-02 02:50:51 PM
"That was a stupid comeback."

"No, YOU'RE a stupid comeback!"
 
quatchi
2011-11-02 02:51:02 PM
Sez you!
 
Walker [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:53:27 PM
Winston Churchill had the best ones.
 
czetie
2011-11-02 02:53:37 PM
jbuist: downstairs: they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.

Glub, glub, glub, glub?

"Is this fuel gauge right?"
 
GacysBasement
2011-11-02 02:53:56 PM
Your mom.
 
offmymeds
2011-11-02 02:53:56 PM
badpancreas.files.wordpress.com

Yeah...well the jerk store called and they're running out of you!
 
bikerbob59
2011-11-02 02:54:04 PM
"I know you are but what am I" is suspiciously absent.
 
No YOU'RE a Towel [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:54:59 PM
My name is not on the list? For shame.
 
KingKauff [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:55:02 PM
bikerbob59: "I know you are but what am I" is suspiciously absent.

So is "I'm rubber and you're glue"
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:55:08 PM
downstairs:

I looked around this rather lame site... they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.


That's ridiculous! Deaf mutes can't talk.
 
BurnShrike
2011-11-02 02:55:32 PM
Walker: Winston Churchill had the best ones.

That's what she said!
 
error 303
2011-11-02 02:56:02 PM
A friend and I were out for cofee one day and when we went to sit down he bumped into a guy seated behind us. He turned around and said "Oh hey man, I'm sorry I bumped into you". The guy said "What? Oh, that's okay, you didn't really bump into me" so I shot back "That's okay, he's not really sorry."

Everyone stared at me in awkward silence for about 10 seconds so I decided I had to go to the bathroom and walk away.
 
Orgasmatron138
2011-11-02 02:56:13 PM
Linoleum_Blownapart: Missing the Yahoo! Answers one :

Q:"When a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH", what's a good comeback?"

A:"Well, You better come back with a goddamn sandwich."

I love that one. Some farkers have a pic of it, I'm sure it will turn up somewhere.
 
scottydoesntknow [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:56:49 PM
Walker: Winston Churchill had the best ones.

"Ahhh Winston, drunk again I see!"

"Yea, well you're a fat biatch."

/Huh I guess history's just wittled it down to the gems
 
Mog32Kupo [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:57:11 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

I have a new Role Model...
 
Hip_about_time
2011-11-02 02:57:53 PM
My Fav

R Kelly to Dave Chappelle
"how you just gonna make a video about peeing on someone?"

Dave Chappele to R kelly
" N***** how YOU just gonna make a video about peeing on someone?"
 
serpent_sky [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 02:59:06 PM
FloydA: I looked around this rather lame site... they have another page of "famous last words of geniuses". Amelia Earhart is on there. So, no.


That's ridiculous! Deaf mutes can't talk.

Her diary was an excellent, if sad, book.
 
padraig
2011-11-02 02:59:20 PM
Pep Streebeck: "That was a stupid comeback."

"No, YOU'RE a stupid comeback!"

"If I wanted my own comeback, I'd wipe it out from your chin!"
 
Pair-o-Dice
2011-11-02 02:59:20 PM
"I'm gonna kick a 100% of your ass!!"
 
offmymeds
2011-11-02 02:59:29 PM
bikerbob59: "I know you are but what am I" is suspiciously absent.

Link (new window)
 
my herniated disc
2011-11-02 03:00:32 PM
fark you Clown!
 
Dee Snarl
2011-11-02 03:00:34 PM
BurnShrike: Walker: Winston Churchill had the best ones.

That's what she said!

*shakes fist*

/came to say that in general
 
macross87
2011-11-02 03:01:22 PM
*open mic night.jpg*
 
Pair-o-Dice
2011-11-02 03:01:23 PM
Mog32Kupo:
I have a new Role Model...

Barrymore was drunkenly urinating in the wrong bathroom, and turned to face his accuser, penis in hand.

Me too.
 
Mr. Potatoass
2011-11-02 03:02:16 PM
John Barrymore orders lobster in a restaurant.
When it's served, one claw is missing.
"Probably lost it in a fight with another lobster," explains the waiter.
Barrymore: "Bring me the winner."
 
FlashHarry [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 03:02:56 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Dorothy Parker is now "some random lady" you uneducated Cretan?

uh, "cretin," not "cretan."

/pet peeve
 
Mentat [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 03:03:00 PM
 
FooDog
2011-11-02 03:03:15 PM
No 31 sounds like a modern day tea party confrontation.
 
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