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(Some Guy) Dumbass "OnStar, how may I help you?" "I've just been in an accident and police are chasing me." "Sir, I've been giving the police directions so they can find you. You should pull over"   (timesunion.com) divider line 100
More: Dumbass, Onstar  
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14420 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2011 at 3:48 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-02 11:58:17 AM
i37.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-02 12:40:23 PM
This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.
 
2011-11-02 01:39:09 PM
Miguel Medina was charged with felony DWI, leaving the scene of a property damage accident and refusal to take a breath test, police said.

Police said a Breathalyzer that he later submitted to registered his alcohol blood content at above 0.18 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.


Huh?
 
2011-11-02 01:53:45 PM
CruiserTwelve: Miguel Medina was charged with felony DWI, leaving the scene of a property damage accident and refusal to take a breath test, police said.

Police said a Breathalyzer that he later submitted to registered his alcohol blood content at above 0.18 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.

Huh?


Police: Here, blow into this.
Driver: Fark you!
Police: Ok, six month automatic suspension of your driver's license.
Driver: You can't do that! Fark you!
Police: It's not us. It's the law.
Driver: {OK, I'm not quite drunk enough to not understand this, but too drunk to ask for a lawyer. Hope it's been long enough for my liver to do it's work. Deep breath. Blowwwwww.}
Police: Yep, you're trashed. And Farked.
Driver: Shiat!
 
2011-11-02 02:03:01 PM
a system dispatcher reported the crash

Goddamn OnStar narc.
 
2011-11-02 02:09:28 PM
FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


OK Walter White.
 
2011-11-02 02:20:22 PM
FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


Great if your car gets stolen though.
 
2011-11-02 02:43:54 PM
dletter: FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.

OK Walter White.


Tread lightly... He's not in danger; he is the danger.
 
2011-11-02 02:55:15 PM
The guy was a dick for hit and run, but I don't know why anyone would have that device in their car.
Something that's supposed to be for your own good can usually be used against you.
 
2011-11-02 03:05:45 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Yeah, but those dispatchers can be handy.
 
2011-11-02 03:50:18 PM
I thought OnStar would conveniently turn your car off if the police requested it?
 
2011-11-02 03:52:09 PM
The Albany man allegedly crashed a 2011 Buick Regal into a utility pole at the corner of Oneida and Catherine streets at 2:05 a.m., and fled the scene, according to police. The car was equipped with OnStar, and a system dispatcher reported the crash, police said.

Officers arrived at the crash site, where witnesses said that Medina had run toward Slingerland Street, police said. Police arrested the man, whose age was not available, across from Bishop Maginn High School.


Sounds like he bashed up a utility pole and then (fled/ran away from/stumbled away from) the scene on foot. Just sayin'.
 
2011-11-02 03:52:43 PM
kingoomieiii: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x261]

Yeah, but those dispatchers can be handy.


Just watched that last night. It was pretty funny, but not enough to actually warrant buying it. I bet the outtakes are hilarious though.
 
2011-11-02 03:53:00 PM
gameshowhost: [i37.tinypic.com image 408x368]

What does that have to do with anything?
 
2011-11-02 03:53:49 PM
Worst day of my life:

"This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."
 
2011-11-02 03:54:41 PM
2011 Buick Regal

Dumbass, that was a new car.
 
2011-11-02 03:54:52 PM
A certain farker here enjoys bragging about how he spies on his daughter when she goes on dates because he works for OnStar. Just think what a less moral person would do while working there.
 
2011-11-02 03:55:15 PM
FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


And were done here.
 
2011-11-02 03:56:20 PM
spentmiles: "This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."

They can disable your car remotely? WTF?
 
2011-11-02 03:56:56 PM
WeenerGord: 2011 Buick Regal

Dumbass, that was a new car.


Like that counts as a car.
 
2011-11-02 03:57:17 PM
FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


Or, you know, you could just...
1skillz-networksunited.net
 
2011-11-02 03:57:57 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2011-11-02 03:59:10 PM
Sybarite: a system dispatcher reported the crash

Goddamn OnStar narc.


Coulda been a pregnant woman who was knocked unconscious and badly hurt, how the hell is the dispatcher supposed to know?
 
2011-11-02 03:59:34 PM
theknuckler_33: FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.

Or, you know, you could just...
[1skillz-networksunited.net image 150x150]


ls1tech.com
 
2011-11-02 04:01:27 PM
IrateShadow: spentmiles: "This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."

They can disable your car remotely? WTF?


Yes, that way if you call them to say your car has been stolen, they can disable it and report the location to the Police for recovery.
 
2011-11-02 04:01:32 PM
spentmiles: Worst day of my life:

"This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."


Good thing they didn't see the what was left of the kid smeared across your windshield.
 
2011-11-02 04:02:29 PM
IrateShadow: spentmiles: "This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."

They can disable your car remotely? WTF?


have you lived under a rock for the last 10 years?

onstar *can* be good (stopping your engine in the case of an accident if other failsafes don't go off), and it *can* be horribly bad. (tracking you at all times, selling your info for $$, disabling remotely).

does the bad outweigh the good? you bet.
 
2011-11-02 04:02:37 PM
IrateShadow: spentmiles: "This is OnStar, you seem to be dragging a child's bike beneath your car. We're disabling your vehicle now."

They can disable your car remotely? WTF?



Yep. Call me paranoid, but that's one service that I will never get. I'm a great driver and I don't plan on breaking the law...but I don't want big brother's eye in the sky disabling my car or tracking my every move either.

/puts on the tinfoil hat.
 
2011-11-02 04:02:43 PM
Im a law abiding citizen (for teh most part) but why the eff would anyone get this installed in their car is beyond me. Yes let me pay for a service that will point the police right to me.
 
2011-11-02 04:02:57 PM
Sybarite: a system dispatcher reported the crash

Goddamn OnStar narc.


Heh. I worked with a guy whose roommate got into a minor fender bender. He and the guy he hit had both been drinking and agreed to just let it go and drive away, not knowing his OnStar had already called the cops. Oops.
 
2011-11-02 04:03:53 PM
FirstNationalBastard: This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


Oh look, a criminal.
 
2011-11-02 04:04:00 PM
Probably could just put a simple kill switch in for that crap if you are out doin some illegal shiat. It works on radio and sat signals, just cut off the antennas. And done.
 
2011-11-02 04:04:14 PM
It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.
 
2011-11-02 04:06:08 PM
Thank Jebus I don't have any technology in my pocket that police could use to do the same thing..

/Besides my penis
//Penis
 
2011-11-02 04:06:40 PM
FirstNationalBastard

This is why you don't turn that OnStar shiat on.

Makes it too easy for cops to track you.


It comes on when you buy it, and not paying your subscription doesn't disable it or otherwise stop them from tracking you, turning on the mic in your car, etc... it just means you can't use any of the positive features.
 
2MS
2011-11-02 04:08:30 PM
<b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/comments/6697666/72790914#c72790914">Doc Daneeka</a>:</b> <i>It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.</i>

In my county, they passed a law that if you refuse the breathalyzer, they immediately take you to jail, and draw blood. Sucks
 
2011-11-02 04:09:35 PM
Ben Enya

Thank Jebus I don't have any technology in my pocket that police could use to do the same thing.

It's a lot easier to take the battery out of your phone than it is to unhook OnStar from your car.
 
2011-11-02 04:11:31 PM
My friend and his girlfriend had been out drinking and were pulled over coming home at 3AM. The cop took his license back to the cruiser and sat back there for quite a while. While he was gone, the girlfriend, who was driving, was freaking out. My friend said, "How much did you have to drink?" And she said, "I don't know. At least four beers and three shots."

Then the cop came back and asked her how much she had drank. She said, "I had two beers with dinner." And the cop says, "Well you just told him that you had four beers and three shots. So which is it? Were you lying to him or me?"

She broke down crying and admitted it. Crazy shiat. She ended up losing her license for a year and had to pay almost $4000 in fees. farking OnStar.
 
2011-11-02 04:15:12 PM
OnStar=Fascism
 
2011-11-02 04:17:45 PM
Doc Daneeka: It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.


Much depending. If you refuse the test in the liberal areas, it's an automatic license suspension for a minimum of six months. Cheap at the cost compared to getting a DUI on your record.

Some other areas do what 2MS says and haul you off to jail and draw blood. It is worth noting that if you are borderline, being hauled off to jail and then testing below the limit is the way to go, since the BAC is at the time of testing. It takes time to get you to a hospital, get a phlebotonist to stick you, and so forth. If it takes an hour, or longer, you may be much lower, or even under legal limit. Note that option two will REALLY piss the officer off, and he will likely hit you with every infraction he can find.
 
2011-11-02 04:17:49 PM
spentmiles: My friend and his girlfriend had been out drinking and were pulled over coming home at 3AM. The cop took his license back to the cruiser and sat back there for quite a while. While he was gone, the girlfriend, who was driving, was freaking out. My friend said, "How much did you have to drink?" And she said, "I don't know. At least four beers and three shots."

Then the cop came back and asked her how much she had drank. She said, "I had two beers with dinner." And the cop says, "Well you just told him that you had four beers and three shots. So which is it? Were you lying to him or me?"

She broke down crying and admitted it. Crazy shiat. She ended up losing her license for a year and had to pay almost $4000 in fees. farking OnStar.


Wow. I hadn't even considered cops using tactics like that. Creepy.
 
2011-11-02 04:18:10 PM
spentmiles: My friend and his girlfriend had been out drinking and were pulled over coming home at 3AM. The cop took his license back to the cruiser and sat back there for quite a while. While he was gone, the girlfriend, who was driving, was freaking out. My friend said, "How much did you have to drink?" And she said, "I don't know. At least four beers and three shots."

Then the cop came back and asked her how much she had drank. She said, "I had two beers with dinner." And the cop says, "Well you just told him that you had four beers and three shots. So which is it? Were you lying to him or me?"

She broke down crying and admitted it. Crazy shiat. She ended up losing her license for a year and had to pay almost $4000 in fees. farking OnStar.


Wow, that sory really makes me feel bad for the drunk driver.
No, wait, no it doesn't at all.
 
2011-11-02 04:18:18 PM
Doc Daneeka: It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.


Submitting to such a test comes under the "implied consent" rule as driving is a privilege and not a right.

Although I've heard actual lawyers routinely refuse the test so make of that what you will ...
 
2011-11-02 04:18:19 PM
So... can they tell that I'm not wearing pants?
 
2011-11-02 04:18:55 PM
Doc Daneeka

It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.


Driving a car is not a right. In most states, when you choose to get a driver's license you are agreeing to submit to some kind (usually a breathalyzer or blood test) of a blood-alcohol test if an officer requests one. It is implied consent.

/This makes me wonder though, if you never got a license could you refuse? Certainly you'd be guilty of driving without a license, but it's an interesting corner-case.
 
2011-11-02 04:21:19 PM
RedEmily: OnStar=Fascism

Somehow I was able to avoid getting a car with OnStar. That's pretty weak fascism.
 
2011-11-02 04:22:55 PM
Doc Daneeka: It's a crime to refuse a breathalyzer test?

IANAL, but that seems like it has to be a violation of civil liberties.


You anal?
 
2011-11-02 04:26:25 PM
One time Onstar kicked my dog. Its a true story, just like the rest of them in this thread.
 
2011-11-02 04:26:57 PM
rockinconservative.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-02 04:29:54 PM
Saved a friend of mines life when she wrecked on a rural road late night, so I am ok with it.
 
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