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(Daily Mail) Unlikely I don't know what a Bieber is, but it's being sued for paternity by a woman who is 100% not an attention whore   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 102
More: Unlikely  
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8594 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Nov 2011 at 3:26 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-01 11:53:28 PM
Does it even have a penis?
 
2011-11-02 12:24:34 AM
Have his balls even dropped yet?
 
2011-11-02 02:15:41 AM
Dude, he's 12!
 
2011-11-02 03:34:59 AM
Are they gonna get gay married?
 
2011-11-02 03:41:09 AM
So, who's the butch?

/who am I kidding?
 
2011-11-02 03:48:11 AM
Eh, he might be stupid enough to stick his dick in a groupie without using a condom.
 
2011-11-02 03:52:49 AM
It has a penis?
 
2011-11-02 04:06:45 AM
FTFA: It has been reported the woman claims she had sex with the underage star on October 25 last year when she was aged 19-years-old, he was aged 16-years-old out the time.

This one didn't really think her cunning plan all the way through, did she?

Alphax: Eh, he might be stupid enough to stick his dick in a groupie without using a condom.

I'm sure that he is, but is he fertile enough to knock them up?
 
2011-11-02 04:16:55 AM
Rosie O'Donnell has a better chance of getting knocked up by a Bieber than this chick
 
2011-11-02 04:28:10 AM
ANCHOR BABY!
 
2011-11-02 04:52:59 AM
How does he afford his rock-and-roll lifestyle?
 
2011-11-02 05:04:35 AM
and lo the seventh seal was opened.
 
2011-11-02 05:30:26 AM
I dunno, man, accusing yourself of statutory rape seems like a bad plan from a "CPS is watching" perspective whether it's true or not. Then, she was apparently a 19-year-old fan of a dude whose audience is explicitly 8-14 year olds, so probably not much in the brains department there.
 
2011-11-02 05:41:19 AM
on the plus side, that means that legally Bieber got RAEPED AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What a girl.
 
2011-11-02 05:49:26 AM
Apparently every 7th farker thinks about penis then Bieber in mentioned
 
2011-11-02 05:52:47 AM
I predict that aDNA test will prove it isn't his child.

I predict they'll go after the woman for statutory rape.

I predict Justin Bieber is still a virgin.
 
2011-11-02 05:55:17 AM
Jim_Callahan: I dunno, man, accusing yourself of statutory rape seems like a bad plan from a "CPS is watching" perspective whether it's true or not. Then, she was apparently a 19-year-old fan of a dude whose audience is explicitly 8-14 year olds, so probably not much in the brains department there.

Gonna need help on this one. Urban Dictionary sez: (new window)

1. Cock Punching State-trooper
2. Child Protective Services
3. Company Paid shiat
4. crusty pleasure sock
5. Casual Party Sex


#2 seems most likely, but I don't think statutory rape is their area. They only care if the parents/legal guardians are the ones doing the raping.
 
2011-11-02 06:06:55 AM
Criminal Prosecution Service?
 
2011-11-02 06:19:25 AM
Dibs on being Selena Gomez's rebound. I'm older, more down-to-earth, and completely sterile. I won't hurt you like he did, baby. Come to daddy.
 
2011-11-02 06:29:13 AM
Came for "It has a penis?" Leaves satisfied.
 
2011-11-02 06:33:01 AM
Lesbian sex doesn't work that way.
 
2011-11-02 06:36:14 AM
Repeat.
img.thesun.co.uk
 
182 [TotalFark]
2011-11-02 06:48:10 AM
ToxicMunkee: Have his balls even dropped yet?

have they not reached your chin, yet?
 
2011-11-02 06:53:23 AM
Omnis_evil_twin: Repeat.
[img.thesun.co.uk image 380x431]


Wait. That is claiming to have had Bieber's baby? Why in the hell would a teen heartthrob, who could get chicks hotter than the sun, fark that?
 
2011-11-02 07:04:38 AM
Ed Grubermann: Wait. That is claiming to have had Bieber's baby? Why in the hell would a teen heartthrob, who could get chicks hotter than the sun, fark that?

What? No, that's a 12 year kid who got allegedly his 14 year old gf pregnant. Turns out he wasn't the father. Turns out the father was a 14 year old old so the story had a happy ending.
 
2011-11-02 07:04:59 AM
Gold digging without a proper claim? Don't think it will work, Young Lady.
 
2011-11-02 07:19:49 AM
largedon: Lesbian sex doesn't work that way.


+1.
 
2011-11-02 07:21:45 AM
correct me if i'm wrong, but; mention a meme-use retarded grammar- get a green-light?

sick mi cack yuo stupod ficks.
 
2011-11-02 07:24:11 AM
Woman: "It's YOUR baby,baby,baby!"



Oh?
 
2011-11-02 07:39:09 AM
I just don't understand the Beiber hate.

Here's a guy who will have more money and more women before he is 18 than most farkers will have in a lifetime.
 
2011-11-02 07:39:33 AM
Here's a topic for a Maury show. "Justin Bieber is my kid's father"
 
2011-11-02 07:44:55 AM
Apos: Woman: "It's YOUR baby,baby,baby!"



Oh?


Please stop.
 
2011-11-02 07:51:51 AM
Fark_Guy_Rob: I just don't understand the Beiber hate.

Here's a guy who will have more money and more women before he is 18 than most farkers will have in a lifetime.


I thought you said you didn't understand it.
 
2011-11-02 07:54:25 AM
Its not a Kardashian, is it?
 
2011-11-02 07:56:56 AM
macross87: Its not a Kardashian, is it?

Please don't say that. More Kardashians just might be the end of civilization as we know it.
 
2011-11-02 07:58:04 AM
If I was 16 again and could pretty much point at any girl and sleep with her, I'd probably have more kids than there are in an inner city classroom.
 
2011-11-02 08:02:11 AM
FTA: Last month when the couple were both in Winnipeg and they spent an amorous evening watching the basketball together and were seen smooching from a private box.


There are a few things wrong with this sentence, but thinking about it too hard threatens my sanity.

While Selena has been looking after Baylor, the dog is said to be both Selena and Justin's and the couple are thought to have adopted the pup from an animal rescue centre in Winnipeg on October 14.

Did I miss the part in the article where the damn dog was the subject?
 
2011-11-02 08:12:42 AM
Next time he will remember to wear a Rubber Beiber Baby Blocker.

/got nothing.
 
2011-11-02 08:15:00 AM
I had sort of heard about this story yesterday....someone on the radio said they had this BIGGGGG NEWS about Justin Bieber that could end his career AS WE KNOW IT!!!! But they wouldn't say what the news was...makes me happy knowing I can come to Fark to find out for myself instead of waiting on the radio announcer to finish debating wheteher to share the news or not.
 
2011-11-02 08:16:15 AM
I feel stupider for clicking that link.

FTA: In February this year Justin, who is a Christian, spoke out about per-marital sex in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine and said: 'I don't think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them.'

WTF kind of sex is per-marital? Sex while married? Everyone knows that it doesn't exist after marriage.
 
2011-11-02 08:20:43 AM
He should go to the hospital and have them administer a rape kit, there still might be time.
 
2011-11-02 08:20:49 AM
Omnis_evil_twin: Repeat.

One glance on that photo and you know there's zero thruth to the story.
 
2011-11-02 08:25:30 AM
SnakeMan:
#2 seems most likely, but I don't think statutory rape is their area. They only care if the parents/legal guardians are the ones doing the raping.


They care if the only parent of a kid is a criminal, as they are generally responsible for making sure the kid is somewhere during the jail time. They also come in when the sole parent is ruled mentally incompetent, like, say, when they're suffering delusions that cause them to accuse themselves of felonies.
 
2011-11-02 08:27:49 AM
1nsanilicious: Next time he will remember to wear a Rubber Beiber Baby Blocker.

/got nothing.


Weeelllll......
 
2011-11-02 08:29:22 AM
1nsanilicious: Next time he will remember to wear a Rubber Beiber Baby Blocker.

/got nothing.


Bieber better hump her with a Rubber Beiber Baby Blocker.

But beware, Rubber Beiber Baby Blockers BURST! Blobs of baby batter scatter, Beiber babies... yeah, I'll stop here.
 
2011-11-02 08:34:48 AM
Fark_Guy_Rob: I just don't understand the Beiber hate.

He's this generation's Donny Osmond. We hated that twerp, too.
 
2011-11-02 08:35:51 AM
Ed Grubermann: Fark_Guy_Rob: I just don't understand the Beiber hate.

He's this generation's Donny Osmond. We hated that twerp, too.


Donny had a hot sister - er, girlfriend, er, whatever..
 
2011-11-02 08:39:13 AM
Fluorescent Testicle: FTFA: It has been reported the woman claims she had sex with the underage star on October 25 last year when she was aged 19-years-old, he was aged 16-years-old out the time.

This one didn't really think her cunning plan all the way through, did she?


Nope:

(b) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual
intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years
older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is
guilty of a misdemeanor.

She did the math.
 
2011-11-02 08:47:13 AM
Fark_Guy_Rob: I just don't understand the Beiber hate.

Here's a guy who will have more money and more women before he is 18 than most farkers will have in a lifetime.


I don't hate him, I just wish he'd go away

then my daughter wouldn't listen to his crap
 
2011-11-02 08:53:27 AM
Apos: Woman: "It's YOUR baby,baby,baby!"



Oh?


Bravo

scavenger: If I was 16 again and could pretty much point at any girl and sleep with her, I'd probably have more kids than there are in an inner city classroom.

I'd be Cromartie 2.0
 
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