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(Naples News) Florida Definition of doing it wrong: beating your girlfriend for playing with a sex toy in bed because you'd rather sleep   (naplesnews.com) divider line 67
More: Florida, Naples Daily News, Bonita Springs, sleep, girlfriend  
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10926 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Nov 2011 at 11:16 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-01 09:43:26 AM
Butt she assaulted him first.

What's the old code of Hammurabi ruling here?
 
2011-11-01 10:13:11 AM
This scene almost played out with me and my gf. I had an interview the next morning, however she was feeling frisky. She must not have cleaned the spark plug on her toy because it was making an awful racket.
 
2011-11-01 11:17:50 AM
I'm curious as to why the writer felt the need to place the word "toy" in quotation marks.
 
2011-11-01 11:18:09 AM
You shouldn't have to hit her more than once.
 
2011-11-01 11:19:12 AM
LOL, white people
 
2011-11-01 11:19:21 AM
maybe the toy was a strap-on and he wasn't feeling frisky...
 
2011-11-01 11:19:53 AM
Jeffrey L. Bowers, 53, of the 27500 block of Playa Del-Rey

Don't hate the Playa, hate the game.
 
2011-11-01 11:20:00 AM
It wouldn't have been so bad if that thing hadn't had a Hemi. Ya just can't sleep through that.
 
2011-11-01 11:20:35 AM
so your saying he shouldnt have beat her?
 
2011-11-01 11:20:58 AM
cant even fark yourself in florida
 
2011-11-01 11:21:31 AM
Linda: This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house and I decide who goes and who stays. You got a house, why don't you get some of your girlfriends and go home to it?

Doyle: You know better than to talk to me like that when I'm hurtin', Linda. Don't make me knock the piss outta you.
 
2011-11-01 11:22:25 AM
He refused to just hum along.
 
2011-11-01 11:22:45 AM
rmify: cant even fark yourself in florida

I tell Florida people to go fark themselves all of the time. Doesn't seem a problem.
 
2011-11-01 11:23:00 AM
Why the hell would any man mind this? I had a girlfriend ask about this once and I thought it was a trick question.
 
2011-11-01 11:25:16 AM
Sex toy in question: Link (mildly nsfw)
 
2011-11-01 11:25:50 AM
If a key opens many locks, it's a master key, but if a vibrator opens a lock, maybe it's actually a vagina from a retarded analogy.
 
2011-11-01 11:26:19 AM
He's 53 and looks like common trailer trash. I can't imagine his girlfriend being a beauty queen.

Face it. There are some people you never want to see with a sex "toy."
 
2011-11-01 11:26:48 AM
So it was a sybian hooked up to a V8 or something?
 
2011-11-01 11:27:25 AM
Jeffrey L. Bowers, 53, of the 27500 block of Playa Del-Rey, was arrested Monday by Lee deputies Monday at his home and is facing battery-powered charges.

/FTFTFA
 
2011-11-01 11:27:52 AM
....and is facing battery charges

Just like the sex toy, amirite?

Give me a break, I'm hung over
 
2011-11-01 11:31:04 AM
ttc2301: rmify: cant even fark yourself in florida

I tell Florida people to go fark themselves all of the time. Doesn't seem a problem.


thats what she thought
 
2011-11-01 11:31:43 AM
kcoombs69: This scene almost played out with me and my gf. I had an interview the next morning, however she was feeling frisky. She must not have cleaned the spark plug on her toy because it was making an awful racket.

Whoa, back it up a bit, there, sport. Spark plug? Sounds like some serious vag-stim hardware your woman's using.
 
2011-11-01 11:34:07 AM
Maybe she was a masochist.
 
2011-11-01 11:35:20 AM
I am a normal, sensible guy, but something about this story wants me to have a couple of dudes hold this guy down while i kick him in the asshole while I am wearing pointy shoes. THere is never an excuse for domestic violence, but that is the dumbest reason I have ever heard.

I hate to assume things, but by "asleep" i'll bet they mean't "passed out," which means she was entitled to some battery-operated assistance.
 
2011-11-01 11:35:23 AM
"he picked up his girlfriend earlier to come over and make him dinner"

I see, she has to do *all* the work in this relationship.
 
2011-11-01 11:35:25 AM
No matter how hot a chick is there's some dude somewhere that's sick of her shiat
 
2011-11-01 11:43:09 AM
Let me see.

1 Picked his GF so she could make dinner and he go to sleep (and she does it)
2. He decides when someone gets farked. (and she's okay with it)
3. Tells her to put her damn clothes and get out of bed and get him cigarrettes (and she does it)

This-man-is-a-hero!
 
2011-11-01 11:43:52 AM
This guy is my hero. Besides the getting arrested part.
 
2011-11-01 11:45:32 AM
I gotta wonder, did he learn his romantic skills in jail or something? He treats her like she's his punk.
 
2011-11-01 11:45:46 AM
Why didn't he go on the couch ?
 
2011-11-01 11:48:05 AM
Came here for comments about battery charges, leaving pleasured.
 
2011-11-01 11:48:31 AM
Never understood getting upset at being woken for sex. There's this widely available socially acceptable drug called caffeine that works wonders for the occasional night of too little sleep.
 
2011-11-01 11:49:07 AM
I am going to go with he was drunk and passed out without having sex with her. I get the feeling he is one of those mean drunks so anything would have set him off. As for me I would have woke up and taken hold of the toy to assist her likely running it along the outside as I went inside until we were both taken care of. I would then kiss her and put my arms around her and we both could fall asleep happy. Now if I really had to sleep which I really do not see how I would pass up sex for sleep, but if it did happen I would have asked her to take it out to the couch until she was done or would have gone out to the couch myself.
 
2011-11-01 11:50:16 AM
AngryJailhouseFistfark: kcoombs69: This scene almost played out with me and my gf. I had an interview the next morning, however she was feeling frisky. She must not have cleaned the spark plug on her toy because it was making an awful racket.

Whoa, back it up a bit, there, sport. Spark plug? Sounds like some serious vag-stim hardware your woman's using.


images.forbes.com

If your vibrator sounds like a Bug Zapper at the height of beetle season, you might be a redneck.
 
2011-11-01 11:52:17 AM
This story screams slow clap.
 
2011-11-01 11:52:45 AM
On Again: Never understood getting upset at being woken for sex. There's this widely available socially acceptable drug called caffeine that works wonders for the occasional night of too little sleep.

This, I know my girlfriend has gotten frisky on some nights when I had to be awake early in the morning. Didnt stop me from enjoying the shiat out of the night, and going to work all groggy and tried.

/and it was totally worth it
 
2011-11-01 11:53:03 AM
Is this the thread where the guys who don't get pussy forget about the domestic violence and express more outrage that a male didn't want to have sex?

He was probably passed out from already having sex. His junk wasn't up for a round 2. He just wanted to sleep it off. Old girl, who wasn't yet satisfied, starts playing with the toy to send the message that, "I don't need your sorry ass. I'll get it off anyway". Old guy gets pissed because he doesn't appreciate being mocked in his own bed. Asks her to get the smokes and *kick* get out biatch.

/No, he shouldn't have done that
 
2011-11-01 11:54:22 AM
That Guy in the Dos Equis Commercials: I am a normal, sensible guy, but something about this story wants me to have a couple of dudes hold this guy down while i kick him in the asshole while I am wearing pointy shoes. THere is never an excuse for domestic violence, but that is the dumbest reason I have ever heard.

I hate to assume things, but by "asleep" i'll bet they mean't "passed out," which means she was entitled to some battery-operated assistance.


Never Say Never

What if you were sleeping and your girlfriend decided to put her filthy toy in your fun hole? or your mouth?
would you call the police?
what if she sat her fat ass on you while she did it?
 
2011-11-01 11:56:23 AM
As someone who has ordered his wife to have 7 orgasms today while I am at work, I am getting a kick out of this story.
 
2011-11-01 11:56:51 AM
dannit724: On Again: Never understood getting upset at being woken for sex. There's this widely available socially acceptable drug called caffeine that works wonders for the occasional night of too little sleep.

This, I know my girlfriend has gotten frisky on some nights when I had to be awake early in the morning. Didnt stop me from enjoying the shiat out of the night, and going to work all groggy and tried.

/and it was totally worth it


And getting laid when you're pretty tired can actually be some mind blowing sex. Fewer inhibitions and all that. Or else you just get worn out and have to quit. Either way, having sex > not having sex. At least make the damn effort.

If you're a bit tired the next morning because of the time you spent boning, chances are good you'd have been tired without it. So you may as well go for it.
 
2011-11-01 11:57:51 AM
EleventyOne: That Guy in the Dos Equis Commercials: I am a normal, sensible guy, but something about this story wants me to have a couple of dudes hold this guy down while i kick him in the asshole while I am wearing pointy shoes. THere is never an excuse for domestic violence, but that is the dumbest reason I have ever heard.

I hate to assume things, but by "asleep" i'll bet they mean't "passed out," which means she was entitled to some battery-operated assistance.

Never Say Never

What if you were sleeping and your girlfriend decided to put her filthy toy in your fun hole? or your mouth?
would you call the police?
what if she sat her fat ass on you while she did it?


Like to video tape it you mean?
 
2011-11-01 11:58:30 AM
We really need to see a pic of the woman to properly judge the situation.
 
2011-11-01 12:00:38 PM
On Again: Never understood getting upset at being woken for sex. There's this widely available socially acceptable drug called caffeine that works wonders for the occasional night of too little sleep.

See I prefer waking up early for a morning helping.

/after teeth are brushed.
 
2011-11-01 12:00:58 PM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-01 12:01:52 PM
blondski: On Again: Never understood getting upset at being woken for sex. There's this widely available socially acceptable drug called caffeine that works wonders for the occasional night of too little sleep.

See I prefer waking up early for a morning helping.

/after teeth are brushed.


Its nice of you, but I have to say.. the mint kinda burns down there do no need to brush your teeth first, we aint kissing you afterwards anyway.
 
2011-11-01 12:03:40 PM
EleventyOne: That Guy in the Dos Equis Commercials: I am a normal, sensible guy, but something about this story wants me to have a couple of dudes hold this guy down while i kick him in the asshole while I am wearing pointy shoes. THere is never an excuse for domestic violence, but that is the dumbest reason I have ever heard.

I hate to assume things, but by "asleep" i'll bet they mean't "passed out," which means she was entitled to some battery-operated assistance.

Never Say Never

What if you were sleeping and your girlfriend decided to put her filthy toy in your fun hole? or your mouth?
would you call the police?


This one did.
 
2011-11-01 12:07:45 PM
Did she have a Harley engine strapped to that toy?
 
GBB
2011-11-01 12:11:23 PM
elev8meL8r: AngryJailhouseFistfark: kcoombs69: This scene almost played out with me and my gf. I had an interview the next morning, however she was feeling frisky. She must not have cleaned the spark plug on her toy because it was making an awful racket.

Whoa, back it up a bit, there, sport. Spark plug? Sounds like some serious vag-stim hardware your woman's using.

[foxworthy.jpg]

If your vibrator sounds like a Bug Zapper at the height of beetle season, you might be a redneck.


If you have to lure your girlfriend out of the house with cigarettes, you might be a redneck.
 
2011-11-01 12:15:11 PM
Link NSFW

Like him, if I had my choice, I would have preferred sleep.
 
2011-11-01 12:16:49 PM
notmtwain: Butt she assaulted him first.

What's the old code of Hammurabi ruling here?


A woman who doesn't lay with a man is no wife to him.

I guess that means they're divorced and she can find a real man.
 
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