Dad?

AverageAmericanGuy: Did America hold the lead in this earlier?

America has been leading the nation based on alcohol availability and number of roads, as well as average distance between drinking establishments and residential areas, but American researchers have had trouble breaking the 15-car limit for naked drunk drivers that was achieved in 1979 and has been the baseline for naked drunk driver technology since.

In 2008, Florida scienticians announced a driver that they said could smash up to 20 vehicles while drunk and naked, but independent labs were unable to replicate the findings. Typically, results are limited because 1) people that are naked and drunk typically aren't in the mood to drive; 2) the average drunk driver sees a 14% dropoff in vehicles smashed when he (or she) is naked; and 3) there is a balance that must be achieved in terms of vehicle speed and durability to smash more than six other vehicles, and generally speaking, in areas where there is a sufficient density of victim vehicles, naked people are apprehended before they're able to drive off.

give lindsay lohan time... she'll get the record back...

USA! USA! USA!

King Something: Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: AverageAmericanGuy: I'm getting 500 errors on some stories. Is anyone else experiencing intermittent story outages?

I'm getting errors on loading some comment pages. Been happening all morning.

Same here. Some threads, like this one obviously, show up fine for me, while others give me a 500 error (and no mention of this on the outage page)

Yeah, me too. Admins? Are you guys still passed out from the weekend?

Pics and video or GTFO (NSFW probably)

We CANNOT allow a drunk, crazy guy gap! This country has gone soft. Get to drinkin' and doing crazy things 'merica!

Ludmilla : Zis iz Antonov. He haz a second liver und can process over one liter of Vodak and hour. When he is intoxicated, his eyes are specially trained to see quadruple and he believes he can drive anything.

When he is in his automobile and he makes impact with a stationary object, his body will actually compact and negate the impact the steering wheel creates. He is genetically designed to continue driving at all times.

Your weak American driver can not process the volume of alcohol Antonov can. Your weak American bodies cannot take the impact of one vehicle let alone 30. Anyone who dares gets in the way of Antonov will get plowed over like a 1985 Yugo.

Adrian: You can't face him Rocky! You've never even smashed through 10 cars.

Rocky: Hey. All this talk is getting me thirty. Hey Antonov! What do you say to a B double E double R U N? First one to Denver gets to make a joke about Coors Beer.

Loving the Dr. Strangelove references. Exactly what I was thinking too. Great movie, older than I am.

gregoire4: Mr. President, we must not alllooooooooowwwww, a NAKED DRUNK DRIVER GAP!

leaving satisfied.