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(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Some people will do anything for beer, including breaking into apartments and stabbing people with corkscrews when they fight back   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 23
More: Dumbass, stabbing, apartments  
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2039 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2011 at 6:15 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
ArkAngel [TotalFark]
2011-10-30 11:47:20 PM
Stabbed with a corkscrew? I bet he'll wine about that for years
 
Honest Bender
2011-10-31 06:32:44 AM
ArkAngel: Stabbed with a corkscrew? I bet he'll wine about that for years

No no, re-read the headline. The person who got stabbed had the corkscrew. I wouldn't want to fark with someone brandishing a corkscrew.
 
Stomponfoot
2011-10-31 06:34:28 AM
He was trying to get some of that blood of Christ.
 
doglover [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 06:48:10 AM
he tussled with a man in the second apartment before stabbing him with a corkscrew and sending him to the hospital for 22 stitches, prosecutors said.

How the hell do you give someone 22 stitches from a corkscrew? Must've been some kind of draw cut with the point.
 
othmar
2011-10-31 06:53:23 AM
dang what a deal
 
RY28
2011-10-31 06:59:14 AM
DAD ?
 
jayhawk88
2011-10-31 07:02:34 AM
www.likeablequotes.com

At least he's not eating the dirt underneath the football stadium bleachers.
 
BarbadoSlim
2011-10-31 07:20:06 AM
What kind of beer?
 
SavaThePriest
2011-10-31 07:20:14 AM
I would do anything for beer..

img.thesun.co.uk

But I won't do that.
 
elffster [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 07:40:38 AM
Corkscrew: stabby with a twist?
 
Sgt. Pepper
2011-10-31 07:40:46 AM
When a man with a corkscrew meets a man with a knife, the man with a corkscrew will be a dead man. That's an old Mexican Proverb.
 
doglover [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 07:44:34 AM
Sgt. Pepper: When a man with a corkscrew meets a man with a knife, the man with a corkscrew will be a dead man. That's an old Mexican Proverb.

Really depends on the corkscrew.

www.495rental.com
 
PunGent
2011-10-31 07:58:04 AM
doglover: he tussled with a man in the second apartment before stabbing him with a corkscrew and sending him to the hospital for 22 stitches, prosecutors said.

How the hell do you give someone 22 stitches from a corkscrew? Must've been some kind of draw cut with the point.

Could've opened up the cheek, which can take a LOT of stitches; you've got to stitch inside and out, iirc, to make sure it heals watertight.

Also, "stabbed" could be reporter-ese for multiple stab wounds.
 
doglover [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 08:02:35 AM
PunGent: you've got to stitch inside and out, iirc, to make sure it heals watertight.

The hell you do. Real men just cut a matching hole in the other cheek and stick the penis bone of the largest predator in the area through the holes to absorb their ferocity in combat with the rock people. Oh, I HATE those rock people!
 
AverageAmericanGuy
2011-10-31 08:46:09 AM
doglover: PunGent: you've got to stitch inside and out, iirc, to make sure it heals watertight.

The hell you do. Real men just cut a matching hole in the other cheek and stick the penis bone of the largest predator in the area through the holes to absorb their ferocity in combat with the rock people. Oh, I HATE those rock people!

Real men will be farking jabbing their mouths with the penis bone of that farking predator. That's what I'm farking talking about!

Oh yeah! High five, bro!
 
earthworm2.0
2011-10-31 08:53:10 AM
That's no way to go through life son.
 
doglover [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 08:53:15 AM
AverageAmericanGuy: doglover: PunGent: you've got to stitch inside and out, iirc, to make sure it heals watertight.

The hell you do. Real men just cut a matching hole in the other cheek and stick the penis bone of the largest predator in the area through the holes to absorb their ferocity in combat with the rock people. Oh, I HATE those rock people!

Real men will be farking jabbing their mouths with the penis bone of that farking predator. That's what I'm farking talking about!

Oh yeah! High five, bro!

Then it's plate time!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
Thai Mai Xhu
2011-10-31 09:54:59 AM
Our Neighborhood Watch sign says"These homes guarded by Zombies with Shotguns 3 nights a week". "Feel Lucky Punk?"
 
earthworm2.0
2011-10-31 10:34:09 AM
My sign says " tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."
 
Ikam [TotalFark]
2011-10-31 12:17:18 PM
I love it when I read about moronic crimes that take place a few blocks from my house on fark.
 
Thai Mai Xhu
2011-10-31 12:41:31 PM
earthworm2.0: My sign says " tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

Repeatedly...for fun!
The wormz conquer all in the end.
If the wormz have not conquored all...it is NOT the end.
 
busy chillin'
2011-10-31 03:13:41 PM
alabama.true.romance.corkscrew.gif


/too big to link
 
FriarED1
2011-10-31 04:29:57 PM
img.photobucket.com

Stabbing people with corkscrews?
 
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