The masochistic part of me wonders what their offspring would be like.

The world's least emotional foot, I suppose.

North_Central_Positronics

(whispering) I will fight for you, until your heart stops beating. Can I have some of your popcorn? (new window)

When is Rick Santorum going to speak out against these shameful accidental Hollywood marriages that threaten the sanctity of traditional marriage?!? It's supposed to be one man, one woman; not one fake sparkly vampire, one vapid wooden waste of oxygen!

Is Bella a zombie?" She's always just standing there with her mouth open, and acts like she's dead.

Count Olaf frowns upon their copycat shenanigans

MrEricSir: [img502.imageshack.us image 468x312]

Came for this, leaving satisfied.

"I vow to love, honor, and uh, uh. Oh shiat, LINE?

Mad_Radhu: Is Bella a zombie?" She's always just standing there with her mouth open, and acts like she's dead.

I feel bad for their future-kids.

Gay-vampire dad + zombie mom =/= happy highschool experience.

Why are they trying to force this non-couple down our throats? Does anyone actually believe this is real, and not some studio crap?

FooDog: [30.media.tumblr.com image 488x469]

Count Olaf frowns upon their copycat shenanigans

That's disgusting. Wasn't Violet, like, 12?

Did they accidentally sign a marriage license? No? They just filmed a wedding scene? Then they're not married. But hey, I'm sure that wasn't just a veiled plug for their next movie...

THEY GET MARRIED?

At the risk of being treated as "that guy who comes into a thread to say he doesn't like something so everyone will think he's cool..."

I saw a trailer for the new movie today and I have to say she is one ugly chick. Could they honestly not find someone who doesn't look like the pregnant cashier at the dollar store that I always see on her smoke break?

/chick
//I sound fat

Funny how when a movie is coming out, some "zany" story about some of the stars always seems to leak out...

faerniir: I saw a trailer for the new movie today and I have to say she is one ugly chick. Could they honestly not find someone who doesn't look like the pregnant cashier at the dollar store that I always see on her smoke break?

I thought the whole idea of the books was to make the main character so bland that girls can project themselves into that role.
I think a rather bleh person would fit that role better than a very pretty one.

It's not so much that she's "bleh" it's that she looks drugged out and hollow headed. 'Course I haven't read the books either so maybe that's what she's supposed to look like.

I saw a still from the next movie of her in a white bikini on the EW website earlier in the week, I'd hit it.

I watched the Rifftrax for the first 3 movies over the course of this week, I am eagerly awaiting the Rifftrax for the "Breaking Dawn" films. However, I'm concerned that this means that by the transitive property I am eagerly awaiting the release of the films as well.

faerniir: It's not so much that she's "bleh" it's that she looks drugged out and hollow headed. 'Course I haven't read the books either so maybe that's what she's supposed to look like.

As I understand it (I haven't read the books but I know a few people who have), she has no personality whatsoever, and the book only gives physical descriptions of the male characters. Assuming that pregnant cashier at the dollar store that you always see on her smoke break could remember her lines, she could probably play her on-screen just as easily as Kristen Stewart.

As I understand it (I haven't read the books but I know a few people who have), she has no personality whatsoever, and the book only gives physical descriptions of the male characters. Assuming that pregnant cashier at the dollar store that you always see on her smoke break could remember her lines, she could probably play her on-screen just as easily as Kristen Stewart.

Huh. That's actually a neat concept for a book. Doesn't seem like it would transfer well to movies though. It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" but you're picking your main character instead. Still not going to read them though.

In that case Robert, let me offer you a trade. Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.

A trade? Hell, it's theft. This the best gun made by man. It has *extreme* sentimental value. It's miles more worthy 'n what you got!

faerniir: As I understand it (I haven't read the books but I know a few people who have), she has no personality whatsoever, and the book only gives physical descriptions of the male characters. Assuming that pregnant cashier at the dollar store that you always see on her smoke break could remember her lines, she could probably play her on-screen just as easily as Kristen Stewart.

Huh. That's actually a neat concept for a book. Doesn't seem like it would transfer well to movies though. It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" but you're picking your main character instead. Still not going to read them though.

From what I've been told, not really. A friend of mine from law school actually did read the books. He said anything involving Bella, Edward, Jacob, and their relationships (i.e., the bulk of the series) was painfully boring. However, he did say that the parts about the Volturi and their political machinations were pretty interesting. Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm going to wade through that much crap in order to figure out if there's such a thing as a "good part" in a Twilight book.

Polish Hussar: faerniir: As I understand it (I haven't read the books but I know a few people who have), she has no personality whatsoever, and the book only gives physical descriptions of the male characters. Assuming that pregnant cashier at the dollar store that you always see on her smoke break could remember her lines, she could probably play her on-screen just as easily as Kristen Stewart.

Huh. That's actually a neat concept for a book. Doesn't seem like it would transfer well to movies though. It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" but you're picking your main character instead. Still not going to read them though.

From what I've been told, not really. A friend of mine from law school actually did read the books. He said anything involving Bella, Edward, Jacob, and their relationships (i.e., the bulk of the series) was painfully boring.

I believe it. The "Choose Your Own Adventure" concept only works if the reader/player actually gets to make choices, otherwise it's an extremely shallow wish-fulfillment fantasy. And I suspect that most of the "fans" feel the same way, because I have a few friends who try to stay current on sci-fi and fantasy, and they found that most of the teenage girls who carry the books around with them were only doing so because they wanted to be seen with them--they weren't actually reading the books.

Although now that I think about it, I suppose if someone were to make an RPG in the trashy romance (a.k.a. "porn for women") genre, and if it were properly marketed and actually good, it might actually sell reasonably well.

Although now that I think about it, I suppose if someone were to make an RPG in the trashy romance (a.k.a. "porn for women") genre, and if it were properly marketed and actually good, it might actually sell reasonably well.

Plenty of those in Japan. Just do a Google search for "dating sim."

fury211: In that case Robert, let me offer you a trade. Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.

A trade? Hell, it's theft. This the best gun made by man. It has *extreme* sentimental value. It's miles more worthy 'n what you got!

I would so trade you a Kristen for Vera.

Rihlsul: fury211: In that case Robert, let me offer you a trade. Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.

A trade? Hell, it's theft. This the best gun made by man. It has *extreme* sentimental value. It's miles more worthy 'n what you got!

I would so trade you a Kristen for Vera.

I've always favored Winona myself.

The first movie finally landed on regular cable TV, so I had my first chance to see what the fuss was about. Granted, I was flipping around to avoid commercials, so only saw about half of it, but what a steaming mess of vamp-angst. The baseball game scene alone was cringe-tastic, Glad to see I still have nothing in common with teenage girls and their mothers desperate to be "hip".

cryinoutloud: THEY GET MARRIED?

hahahahahaaha... and we have a winrar.

+1 internets
+1 TROLL KING FOR A DAY

FooDog: [30.media.tumblr.com image 488x469]

Count Olaf frowns upon their copycat shenanigans

Came for this reference, leaving satisfied.

Funbags: The first movie finally landed on regular cable TV, so I had my first chance to see what the fuss was about. Granted, I was flipping around to avoid commercials, so only saw about half of it, but what a steaming mess of vamp-angst. The baseball game scene alone was cringe-tastic, Glad to see I still have nothing in common with teenage girls and their mothers desperate to be "hip".

When I watched the first movie for the Rifftrax, despite knowing the story's many faults going in, I was still amazed at how bad a movie it was. Leaving the problems of the source material aside, there are a whole host of issues just with the filmmaking.

First and foremost, the directing is terrible. Her constant use of a blue filter over the camera, the weird/poor camera angles (badger cam!), staging the actors (this is a tense confrontation, so run up to each other and crouch and sneer), the vampires' colored contacts (per IMDB the director painted them herself) make them look cartoonish at best, and the makeup is awful (our protagonist is a vampire, let's whitewash him and throw on some lipstick); it's just a hackery from start to finish.

Also, it looks like the producers spent about $1.25 on the special effects. The vampires' high speed running either looks like something out of Benny Hill or The Six Million Dollar Man. All the CGI and wire work could be generously described as amateurish. They even managed to screw up the sparklepire effect; he doesn't look like he's sparkling, he looks like a vampiric light emitting diode.

Basically, the movie looks cheap from start to finish. According to IMDB the movie had a budget of $37 million, but from what shows up on screen you'd think they were working with maybe half of that.

Line?

faerniir: It's not so much that she's "bleh" it's that she looks drugged out and hollow headed. 'Course I haven't read the books either so maybe that's what she's supposed to look like.

From what I understand of the books, she captures Bella perfectly. Basically, a non-entity with no interests, not overly bright and with no defining personal characteristics except that she is clumsy and men are super interested in her for no apparent reason. She is also totally uninterested in interacting with anyone besides Edward and Jacob. Her character exists to be something girls can project themselves on to, probably part of the reason why the series is so popular.

After reading the headline, all I can think is, "Oops. (giggle) We're just a couple of silly kids. Aren't we cute?"

Translation: "Our last movies are coming out, and we need publicity. Please help us."

/snark

The sad and scary part is that those two are insanely rich from all those Twatlight films. Someone must be paying for that steaming pile of dung