As the old saying goes: Fire is a good servant, but a terrible roofer.

FTFA:
A man who was identified as the lone occupant of the home was being checked out by medics at the scene. He was guided to a gurney and was not wearing shoes.

Isn't this how country music starts?

The fire was just getting revenge for his fallen comrade.

Not sure what's wrong with TFA's headline, subby. If they had gone with something like "destructive fire damages house" you'd have something, but they're simply stating a fact.

King Something: The fire was just getting revenge for his fallen comrade.
[img407.imageshack.us image 547x365]

Now THAT'S funny.

Wait! Where are you going?... I was going to make espresso!

We had a talking head on a local channel, standing in front of the still smoking ruins, say, and I quote, "the restaurant remains closed today after being destroyed by fire last night".

Or, as opposed to fires which aren't anywhere near a house. Or, as opposed (as mentioned above) to the fires which warm the water in the hot water heater, or the fires on the stove and over which cook food, or the fire in the furnace which warms the house...

You know, as opposed to fires that don't destroy a house. I'd wager, in fact, that less than 0.01e-100% of the fires that have ever been on the planet, have destroyed a house. 4 billion years ago, when hot magma was constantly bursting various material into flames? No houses burned down. The sun, which is one gigantic ball of fire? There aren't even any houses on the entire mass, and thus - no houses are burning down. So, in the end, a fire that does burn a house down is extremely unique.

Good try though!

I don't cook! I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!

Approves

Fire may not help good houses, but it has been known to "fix" a bad mortgage.

Ehh: I don't cook! I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!

Ehh: I don't cook! I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!

Sad that I actually got the reference...

/Howls Moving Castle

I see Ric Romero is doing some freelance work.

"Fire damages house." As opposed to the helpful fire that fixes your roof

no subby, as opposed to the flood or hurricane or any number of other things that can damage your house.

/you're not witty.

Reminds me of what a Weather Channel "Severe Weather Expert" said during a discussion of thunderstorms: 'dangerous lightning.'

Why all the drama, guys?

Walker: "Maybe next time you'll buy the cookies"
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Walllllkeeeeeerrrrrr....Wallllllkeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr....

Amos Quito: Fire may not help good houses, but it has been known to "fix" a bad mortgage.

First thing I thought of.

So I hit Zillow. Looky here, it's for sale.

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3830-E-Harbor-Dr-Bettendorf-IA-5272 2 /94744600_zpid/

Kind of problematic finding out the state.

The admin who greenlit this headline must have been giggling already from being high.

/Fires can be put out before they damage a house.

Gyrfalcon: Fire damages house. Water damages fire. However, water also damages house, so nobody wins.

Mmmmmm mold.

[Obvious] "Sun warms roof" lololol as opposed to what? cooing the roof? like the sun decided to be helpful and cool the roof instead of warming it lol what irony lo0lol0ol0oll i submit to fark!!!


How about getting names of submitters with the articles,

and then a way to filter out their submissions.

Too much to ask?

Gyrfalcon: Fire damages house. Water damages fire. However, water also damages house, so nobody wins.

Spock wins. Always.

Maybe one of the new "smart" meters caused it. I've heard they can do that.

Evidently you've never lived in the City of Brass, subby

Protricity: [Obvious] "Sun warms roof" lololol as opposed to what? cooing the roof? like the sun decided to be helpful and cool the roof instead of warming it lol what irony lo0lol0ol0oll i submit to fark!!!


How about getting names of submitters with the articles,

and then a way to filter out their submissions.

Too much to ask?

I've always wondered why there wasn't an option for that. Personally, I'd like my handle attached to my rare greenlit subs.

PsiChi: Maybe one of the new "smart" meters caused it. I've heard they can do that.


Back in the old days a power company would only threaten to cut you off if you didn't pay - or maybe break your kneecaps.

/Progress

Helpful fire