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(Slate)   Breaking news: how long does it take for a candy bar to go bad?   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, saturated fats, almonds  
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10198 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2011 at 11:13 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-10-28 09:57:22 AM  
When it turns all white and chalky.
 
2011-10-28 10:04:05 AM  
When the spider eggs hatch.
 
2011-10-28 11:16:10 AM  
They don't get a chance in my house.
 
2011-10-28 11:18:07 AM  
News you can use!
 
2011-10-28 11:18:53 AM  
After the expiration date printed on the wrapper.

Not a joke. When I was younger, I worked at a truck stop. One of the gifts they gave employees at Christmas was a 10-pack of full-size candy bars, in holiday packaging. They had actually sold these in the store - but the ones they gave us were all past their expiration date. So they got credited for them and presented them to us as part of our Christmas gift. They tasted horrible - white and chalky, though they were barely past the sell by date.

On that note, the other part of our gift was a sheet of 10 coupons, each good for a free car wash at our station. (Free car washes was one of the "perks" we regularly got as employees anyway). I photocopied my sheet a few dozen times and handed out the coupons to everyone I know. Nothing like "paying it forward".

/will probably repeat this story for the annual "worst employee Christmas gift" thread
//just like I have the past few years
 
2011-10-28 11:19:02 AM  
It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.
 
2011-10-28 11:19:24 AM  
It depends on how much weed it smokes and how many liberals it listens to.
 
2011-10-28 11:21:33 AM  
Article was surprisingly non fear-mongering and accurate about the minimal health risks of most types of old candy.
 
2011-10-28 11:21:48 AM  
FYI, I once opened a Hershey bar from a vending machine that had little white worms in it. Lucky for me, I normally break sections off rather than just take bites. I think it was likely old, and the vending machine face a sunlit window.
 
2011-10-28 11:22:14 AM  
Yes, but it might last until next Halloween or beyond.

Well that's good, because my grandmothers regularly buys candy after the holiday when it's on sale and keeps for the next year's holiday to give it out.

She does it for Halloween, Christmas and Easter.

There's nothing quite like a finely aged lump of chocolate.
 
2011-10-28 11:22:53 AM  
Let's ask Mr. Owl.
 
2011-10-28 11:23:12 AM  

Diogenes: When the spider eggs hatch.


Good, they can eat the maggots in the other candy.
 
2011-10-28 11:24:45 AM  
www.wearysloth.com

Look at that. A half eaten chocolate bar. It's hardly been touched. Do you want some?
 
2011-10-28 11:25:12 AM  

ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.


I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

us.123rf.com

I don't eve know what these are called.
 
2011-10-28 11:26:02 AM  
I've seen some crazy expiration dates. I used to work in a lab, and we sometimes used cleaned sand as a filter agent. It came froma chemical supply company so they put an expiration date on the jar, and a safety data sheet that claimed it was dangerous and called for gloves and safety goggles. It was sand from a beach somewhere.
 
2011-10-28 11:26:50 AM  
I eat a Mounds nightly for medicinal purposes (works better than Benefiber) and those go bad. I get the 10-pack minis and at least half are stale.
 
2011-10-28 11:28:15 AM  

Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

I don't eve know what these are called.


Those are called "filling removers."
 
2011-10-28 11:30:01 AM  
CasperImproved: FYI, I once opened a Hershey bar from a vending machine that had little white worms in it. Lucky for me, I normally break sections off rather than just take bites. I think it was likely old, and the vending machine face a sunlit window.

Yikes. So that basically means that at some point, a fly laid its eggs on the chocolate before it was sealed in the packaging. Or there was a hole in the wrapper. I think I would have brought this to the attention of the Hershey Co.
 
2011-10-28 11:31:52 AM  

I Read Fark For the Pictures: Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

I don't eve know what these are called.

Those are called "filling removers."


That's funny.
 
2011-10-28 11:32:51 AM  
Every time I eat a candy bar it turns to shiat within hours.
 
2011-10-28 11:33:46 AM  
Old Reeses is alright, as long as the peanut butter isn't rancid I guess. I've never had one go rancid on me and I've eaten my share of random old ones I've found around the house from holidays or otherwise. The peanut butter texture will change and the chocolate will get harder and a bit less aesthetically appealing than the fresh ones but the taste is passable.

/Had a best by 08 fresh n easy burriter that was quite good earlier this year
//the depths of the garage freezer...
 
2MS
2011-10-28 11:33:56 AM  
Meh-I don't care. The little bastards can either take it, or get off my lawn.
 
2011-10-28 11:35:57 AM  
This reminds me that I got ripped off $1 from the work vending machine. Wanted something sweet so I bought a Snickers. First candy bay in months so I was looking forward to it. Took one bite and threw it away. It was old and stale tasting. Like it was old stock kept in the back of an unrefrigerated truck all summer so they stuck it in a vending machine for a sucker and the sucker was me.
 
2011-10-28 11:36:31 AM  

Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

[us.123rf.com image 400x300]

I don't eve know what these are called.


Those are delicious and I will trade you my Smarties for them.
 
2011-10-28 11:37:02 AM  
The white spots or haze that sometimes appear on old chocolate bars is known among chocolatiers as "blooming," and it's harmless to your health.

Back when I was a garbage man, one of the drivers I worked with would pull candy out of the garbage. He'd eat it even if it had the white funk on it. I don't care if it's harmless to my health, it just looks nasty.
 
2011-10-28 11:37:22 AM  

engrishmajor: CasperImproved: FYI, I once opened a Hershey bar from a vending machine that had little white worms in it. Lucky for me, I normally break sections off rather than just take bites. I think it was likely old, and the vending machine face a sunlit window.

Yikes. So that basically means that at some point, a fly laid its eggs on the chocolate before it was sealed in the packaging. Or there was a hole in the wrapper. I think I would have brought this to the attention of the Hershey Co.


To be honest, I wasn't sure what kind of worms they were (about halt the size and circumference of maggots), but they were certainly mobile. And since I had removed/tossed the wrapping already, I couldn't ascertain how they might have been introduced. I was just glad I had the habit of not taking a bite directly :-)
 
2011-10-28 11:37:33 AM  
I'll eat chocolate unless it's chalky. I can't stand the taste or texture. Most other candies have a pretty decent shelf life. We still have some Dum-Dums, Tootsie Roll pops, Blow-pops, and Smarties from 3 years ago that are still good. I don't know that Smarties ever spoil.

/Chocolate-covered cherries "mature" for several months for the white stuff to turn clear.
 
2011-10-28 11:38:26 AM  

CasperImproved:
To be honest, I wasn't sure what kind of worms they were (about halt the size and circumference of maggots), but they were certainly mobile. And since I had removed/tossed the wrapping already, I couldn't ascertain how they might have been introduced. I was just glad I had the habit of not taking a bite directly :-)


What's worse than finding a worm in your half-eaten candy bar?

Finding half a worm.
 
2011-10-28 11:44:48 AM  

BurnShrike: CasperImproved:
To be honest, I wasn't sure what kind of worms they were (about halt the size and circumference of maggots), but they were certainly mobile. And since I had removed/tossed the wrapping already, I couldn't ascertain how they might have been introduced. I was just glad I had the habit of not taking a bite directly :-)

What's worse than finding a worm in your half-eaten candy bar?

Finding half a worm.


Wow... you made me smile for a second time today. Good on you.
 
2011-10-28 11:47:25 AM  

ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.


Agreed! Along with Peeps and just about any candy that is "Banana" favored (e.g. Laffy Taffy and Runts).
 
2011-10-28 11:48:09 AM  
I'm not the biggest fan of candy, but every now and then (like once a month) have a hankering for just a bite of chocolate. So I keep them in the freezer... have a hersheys bar that I've been nibbling off of for over a year now. Still good.

I think. Obviously not the expert. Who knows.
 
2011-10-28 11:48:40 AM  
www.popscreen.com

I've spent the last hour preparing ten candy bars with no wrappers or identification of any kind for him to select from.
 
2011-10-28 11:58:12 AM  
FTA:

In general, food expiration dates mean very little, and often pertain to product quality rather than safety. (Food companies want consumers to get the most out of their products, and also buy more of them.)

Unpossible!
 
2011-10-28 11:59:36 AM  

berylman: Article was surprisingly non fear-mongering and accurate about the minimal health risks of most types of old candy.


Seriously. I was expecting the usual "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT HALLOWEEN CANDY WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN!" story.


Rapmaster2000: I don't eve know what these are called.


"Satan's Dingleberries"


clivecusslerfan: I'll eat chocolate unless it's chalky. I can't stand the taste or texture. Most other candies have a pretty decent shelf life. We still have some Dum-Dums, Tootsie Roll pops, Blow-pops, and Smarties from 3 years ago that are still good. I don't know that Smarties ever spoil.


Sugar is a preservative, and those candies are made almost entirely of sugar. Smarties, in particular, are simply compressed sugar (dextrose) with some color and flavor added. They are, in the realm of foodstuffs, the immortals.
 
2011-10-28 12:00:15 PM  

Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

[us.123rf.com image 400x300]

I don't eve know what these are called.


I like candy corn, too, if it's made right. Brach's make it well. And, of course there is only one correct way to eat it.

Those candies are supposed to be taffy, but usually, they are just chemicals. When I was a kid, making taffy and having a taffy pull was a popular Halloween activity. I think these candies are supposed to be reminiscent of that by-gone tradition.
 
2011-10-28 12:30:33 PM  
how long does it take for a candy bar to go bad?

Just as long as it takes to put coconut in it. Nasty-ass coconut.
 
2011-10-28 12:33:16 PM  
You know what we used to say at the Burger King I worked at in high school? 'It ain't old 'til it's sold.'
 
2011-10-28 12:46:46 PM  

Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

[us.123rf.com image 400x300]

I don't eve know what these are called.


They are called "Peanut Butter Kisses."

They're not as bad as Necco wafers, which are flat discs of chalk, or Sixlets, which are candy-coated chocolate with just a hint of dish soap.
 
2011-10-28 02:00:53 PM  

FloydA: Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

[us.123rf.com image 400x300]

I don't eve know what these are called.

They are called "Peanut Butter Kisses."

They're not as bad as Necco wafers, which are flat discs of chalk, or Sixlets, which are candy-coated chocolate with just a hint of dish soap.


I'll trade you my mini-Nerds box for your mini-Necco Wafer sleeve, I allways drop those things into glasses of soda. Makes 'em extra fizzy.

Nerds though... most disappointing lump of sugar ever.
 
2011-10-28 02:03:44 PM  

clivecusslerfan: I'll eat chocolate unless it's chalky. I can't stand the taste or texture. Most other candies have a pretty decent shelf life. We still have some Dum-Dums, Tootsie Roll pops, Blow-pops, and Smarties from 3 years ago that are still good. I don't know that Smarties ever spoil.

/Chocolate-covered cherries "mature" for several months for the white stuff to turn clear.


Is that why they suck?

/Worst surprise-Christmas-present-from-the-first-grade-class-party EVER.
//Yeah, I'm still pissed.
 
2011-10-28 02:04:02 PM  

Scurvy Dog:
/will probably repeat this story for the annual "worst employee Christmas gift" thread
//just like I have the past few years


No cocoa sampler box? Your company must hate you.
 
2011-10-28 02:13:31 PM  
nasty ass-coconut
 
2011-10-28 02:38:17 PM  

hstein3: Scurvy Dog:
/will probably repeat this story for the annual "worst employee Christmas gift" thread
//just like I have the past few years

No cocoa sampler box? Your company must hate you.


They hated all of us. The company I work for now is much better... but still no cocoa box.
 
2011-10-28 02:41:06 PM  
I have no idea if candy bars, ice cream, cheese, or steak can bad.

/glutton
 
2011-10-28 02:45:27 PM  
Ask Mr. Owl...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-10-28 04:18:50 PM  

FloydA: Rapmaster2000: ScreamingLemur46: It's a trick question. Candy corn is already bad, straight out of the bag.

I like candy corn. These on the other hand were always a total letdown in my Halloween haul.

[us.123rf.com image 400x300]

I don't eve know what these are called.

They are called "Peanut Butter Kisses."

They're not as bad as Necco wafers, which are flat discs of chalk, or Sixlets, which are candy-coated chocolate with just a hint of dish soap.


content.riteaid.com

Oh god. Peanut Butter Kisses were an abomination. If they're old or cold, the roughly-shaped edges are so sharp they kept terrifying me that I'd bitten into one of those legendary "razor blades in the Halloween candy" things.

Lemme tell you how this worked. Mom, being a "thrifty" cheapskate, thought that these were the greatest thing in the world because she'd get a huge 5-lb bag for like $1. She did not stop at one bag, because this was a deal, which is the same thing as MAKING money, so if you buy more, you make more and more money.

Some pre-explanation is required. When Mom gets something she considers a "deal" (even though we were not critically money-limited), she's proud of herself, and all complaints to the contrary float past her. She's generally not even angry about complaints, just fails to respond and forgets them immediately. In the end complaining only inflated her smug on the subject. Yes, it's rather infuriating. It would be a cute story if the effect were limited to Halloween candy. It wasn't. We were never taken to buy clothes. Ever.

Back to peanut butter kisses. Of course, on Halloween, we never got CLOSE to getting rid of these filthy things. So, Mom puts them in a big container in "the dessert cabinet". I think you see where this is going. Every bagged lunch had PBKs in it. We don't get anything new until "the old stuff is gone". Which, at that rate, was 6 months, give or take. So effectively half my childhood was utterly wasted on PBKs.

In retrospect, I suppose it's not am inherently bad candy, it's the sheer domination of volume forced upon us by their inherent cheapness, and the endless disappoint of "oh god, is this all we have?" repeating like a broken record which built up such acrimony.
 
2011-10-28 04:25:02 PM  
jackchick.files.wordpress.com
jackchick.files.wordpress.com

Jack Chick tracts NEVER go out of style!

/I gotta hand these out one year, like, ironically
//no one's gonna get the joke but me
 
2011-10-28 05:10:19 PM  

CasperImproved: Lucky for me, I normally break sections off rather than just take bites..


What? You LOOK at your food before you eat it???
 
2011-10-28 06:21:07 PM  

twfeline: CasperImproved: Lucky for me, I normally break sections off rather than just take bites..

What? You LOOK at your food before you eat it???


I look at the girls before I kiss also.

My thoughts are anything worth tasting, is worth savoring. Besides, my memories are picture, smell, and audio related for long term storage. It it's something worth remembering, I like to take my time looking, smelling, and tasting.

I am 50 yrs old in 5 days. I remember the beauty, smell and feelings of the very first girl I kissed when I was 10 yrs old, and her name was Dawn Berr$&^, and she was 3 days older than me. It was a late night ride home with her mom driving, and we were in the back seat.

Don't need Kodak when you can even remember how you felt without the picture.
 
2011-10-28 10:45:12 PM  
I'm sure Walgreens are attempting to find out how long it takes.
 
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