+1 to the subby for avoiding the lame "for me to groupon" cliche.

enitre company is a joke.

I saw this before during the prior dot com boom. We had secured close to 20 Million at the beginning of 2000's to be used for Marketing purposes, including advertising, co-brands, etc... a few months later a company wide meeting took place talking about al the amazing things that were being planned, and that 10% of that money still remained safe - yet no marketing, cobranded, or other items this money was supposed to be used for took shape. A few months later I was let go along with 10 other people, then several months later 70% of the staff was let go before the company was finally buried. Groupon's 10% sales force = that. They're toast.

Groupon downplayed Thursday a media report that it is laying off 10 percent of its salesforce, saying the company is undertaking a process to replace poorly performing employees.

Nobody believes that.

Nexzus: +1 to the subby for avoiding the lame "for me to groupon" cliche.



BAH I say!

I like that cliche, it's funny.

And here's what's going to happen to the rest of the employees who are stick around. They're going to be high fiving and dancing on air when the stock first goes public, thinking about the new car and family vacation they're going to get when they sell their shares. Then during the lockout period (is it still 6 months?), they're going to watch the stock sink to 2% of it's IPO value. By the time they're able to exercise their options, it will be out of the money. They'll realize that all the sacrifice wasn't worth anything and it will be business as usual. They'll update their resumes and look for another job as Groupon sinks into a hole and dies. The end.

What a complete farkup of a company, I don't see how any investor could possibly see their IPO as anything but a blatant cashgrab for the owner.

I sure hope the brokerage I use let's me short this turd when it IPOs. Can't find one to let me short KIOR to save my life.

Didn't Groupon pass on a buyout after they couldn't provide solid financial data?

Their whole business model depends on companies taking crappy deals to get advertising. Once those companies figured out people used their Groupons and didn't return for repeat business, word spread quickly and no one used them anymore (at least it seems that way around here, know someone that used them while they were very common in this area, no one uses them anymore)

Are they still going to do an IPO? Because this company has "stinkbomb" written all over it.

Atomic Spunk: And here's what's going to happen to the rest of the employees who are stick around. They're going to be high fiving and dancing on air when the stock first goes public, thinking about the new car and family vacation they're going to get when they sell their shares. Then during the lockout period (is it still 6 months?), they're going to watch the stock sink to 2% of it's IPO value. By the time they're able to exercise their options, it will be out of the money. They'll realize that all the sacrifice wasn't worth anything and it will be business as usual. They'll update their resumes and look for another job as Groupon sinks into a hole and dies. The end.

this is true for all of those who dont sell their options on the gray market.

People need to look at Groupons financial statements before passing judgement. They are making money after excluding Advertising, Overhead, Research and Development and Salary Expenses.

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: People need to look at Groupons financial statements before passing judgement. They are making money after excluding Advertising, Overhead, Research and Development and Salary Expenses.

are you going to invest?

Hmmm...Groupon. 'Replacing Poor Performing Employee'?

CSB: When I worked for hp, Carly made a similar statement about layoffs before HP had a major layoff, and that 'HP was getting rid of the 'dead weight'...blah blah blah. Turns out...some legal issue can result when you pink slip people after making a blanket statement like that. HP had to pay a little more than they planned on in Sev benefits that time around. (Turns out, the bulk of those people hadn't had formal performance reviews in 5 - 10 years in most cases. Hard to prove someone was failing when their personel file had no current performance reviews beginning with '20'.)

Although they farked up their next round even more...doing it across the board demographically. Legally, it kept them safe. Problem with this was...while their layoffs matched OK...10 percent of our workforce is women over 40, so 10% of our layoff pool are women over, etc. They just shoulda looked at what these demographically unlucky people actually did for work. Gutted a buttload of new projects inadvertently because they laid off all the staff. How Carly managed to keep from completely tanking that company is still a mystery.

/Good luck with that layoff, Groupon!

Before long I bet there will be a free, open-source PHP script that lets you build your own Groupon clone in 5 minutes.

BeatrixK: Hmmm...Groupon. 'Replacing Poor Performing Employee'?

CSB: When I worked for hp, Carly made a similar statement about layoffs before HP had a major layoff, and that 'HP was getting rid of the 'dead weight'...blah blah blah. Turns out...some legal issue can result when you pink slip people after making a blanket statement like that. HP had to pay a little more than they planned on in Sev benefits that time around. (Turns out, the bulk of those people hadn't had formal performance reviews in 5 - 10 years in most cases. Hard to prove someone was failing when their personel file had no current performance reviews beginning with '20'.)

Although they farked up their next round even more...doing it across the board demographically. Legally, it kept them safe. Problem with this was...while their layoffs matched OK...10 percent of our workforce is women over 40, so 10% of our layoff pool are women over, etc. They just shoulda looked at what these demographically unlucky people actually did for work. Gutted a buttload of new projects inadvertently because they laid off all the staff. How Carly managed to keep from completely tanking that company is still a mystery.

Some would argue that she didn't.

Company I used to work for cut the sales staffs commision twice in one year by 2% each time. Both times the top sellers left. And then the company couldnt figure out why they were losing revenue even faster

This company... hit almost every red flags of the dotcom company that went busted during that bubble.

Next quarter: Groupon cuts profit estimates now that 100 local competitors grew up out of their downsized staff.

Seriously, they're cutting the type of people who know how to walk up to small business owners and talk them into making a deal.

If you're firing underperforming sales staff, you do it on a case-by-case basis, and replace them as you go along...this is a 10% workforce cut, period. The fact that Groupon is trying to paint it as something else just adds to the "lying about everything financially related" aura that is clinging to this company like a wet fart.

Atomic Spunk: And here's what's going to happen to the rest of the employees who are stick around. They're going to be high fiving and dancing on air when the stock first goes public, thinking about the new car and family vacation they're going to get when they sell their shares. Then during the lockout period (is it still 6 months?), they're going to watch the stock sink to 2% of it's IPO value. By the time they're able to exercise their options, it will be out of the money. They'll realize that all the sacrifice wasn't worth anything and it will be business as usual. They'll update their resumes and look for another job as Groupon sinks into a hole and dies. The end.

Wonder if it's legal to short the stock and then cover using the shares one gets by exercising options. That'd be my strategy in their shoes.

Funny, same day as this, Groupon starts offering discounts on airline tickets from Delta.

I'm starting to smell a ponzi scheme.

SDRR: BeatrixK: Hmmm...Groupon. 'Replacing Poor Performing Employee'?

CSB: When I worked for hp, Carly made a similar statement about layoffs before HP had a major layoff, and that 'HP was getting rid of the 'dead weight'...blah blah blah. Turns out...some legal issue can result when you pink slip people after making a blanket statement like that. HP had to pay a little more than they planned on in Sev benefits that time around. (Turns out, the bulk of those people hadn't had formal performance reviews in 5 - 10 years in most cases. Hard to prove someone was failing when their personel file had no current performance reviews beginning with '20'.)

Although they farked up their next round even more...doing it across the board demographically. Legally, it kept them safe. Problem with this was...while their layoffs matched OK...10 percent of our workforce is women over 40, so 10% of our layoff pool are women over, etc. They just shoulda looked at what these demographically unlucky people actually did for work. Gutted a buttload of new projects inadvertently because they laid off all the staff. How Carly managed to keep from completely tanking that company is still a mystery.

Some would argue that she didn't.

I would be one of those people that would argue she didn't. IMO, that's why the stock jumped 7% when it was announced she was leaving.

GriffXX: I would be one of those people that would argue she didn't. IMO, that's why the stock jumped 7% when it was announced she was leaving.

The funny thing is that for all her failings (which were many), the CEO/board that replaced her pretty much instituted her exact plan anyway, which I always felt was kind of funny.

All I hear from business owners is how tired they are from getting these calls. From living social and all the other ones, they get them several times a day. Same exact pitch.

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: People need to look at Groupons financial statements before passing judgement. They are making money after excluding Advertising, Overhead, Research and Development and Salary Expenses.


HA!

You made me chuckle there.

Will they get to keep their Aeron chairs, at least?

Tax Boy: Will they get to keep their Aeron chairs, at least?

No but they'll get 60% off yoga classes for life.

impaler: Is it possible to short an IPO?

That said. Groupon? More like Groupoff... Amirite?

Of course. The day trading start, place a short sale order. I'd even recommend waiting until the end of the day to let the last of the irrational exurberance day-traders and inside-purchased flippers get their business done.

I love reading the story of the future bankruptcy known as Groupon. Every single thing they do makes them look more and more stupid. It is a decent local business model. It is not a huge worldwide business.

If they pull off an IPO and get people to actually buy their shares it will be obvious to everyone that these 'investors' who seemingly are the financial wizards of the world are friggin morons. Not just normal people who have an inflated sense of self-worth as a result of their job function, but actual morons.

Headline made me feel like I was on farkedcompany.com or something.