We're on a mission from Eru.

Frodo: How often do the Oliphants go by?

Sam: So often you won't even notice it.

Grizzled country-western pub owner: THAT DON'T SOUND LIKE NO TOM BOMBADIL SONG!

We had a band powerful enough to turn orc piss into grog.

Sam: Oh no.

Frodo: What?

Sam: We've thrown a donkey rod.

Frodo: Is that serious?

Sam: Yup.

Sam: It's good to see you, sweetheart.

Rosa: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred hobbits and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Dwarvish caterers in Eriador. To obtain the seven Oliphants for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Necromancer of Mirkwood. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

Frodo: *buries head*

I liked the LotR movies, but they left out the best bits of humour.

Remember the bit from the movies where Aragorn is telling the hobbits "My friends, you bow to no one"?

At that point in the books a mindless idiot fishwife woman who found some dessicated kingsfoil in order to save Eowyn's life tells her equally stupid friend something along the lines that Frodo went into Mordor with just his squire and beat the shiat out of the Dark Lord all by hisself.

Mind you, all of the best lines from the "Houses of Healing" chapter were quite rightly used by Peter Jackson much earlier in the movies for character development purposes.

eg "What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek?" That line stated by a different character in the last minutes of the third movie would have meant nothing.

gunga galunga: Some of you are still under the delusion that the LOTR trilogy was good? I thought after Clerks II, we all wisely came to the consensus that it was nothing but 9 hours of walking.

/the expanded editions added 2 hours and 7 minutes of additional walking scenes

Also, Band of Brothers was just a bunch of dickheads running up hills and sitting in foxholes because Ross from Friends told them to. What a farking waste of my time.

/That was sarcasm btw, but I must say at this point that I've tried to watch the Godfather movies and they bored the living shiat out of me. Those movies were supposed to be entertaining? Really?