I told her to make me a sammich, but she came back just smelling like one.

Witchyman: That is one fugly chick...

Not fugly, just British. Half their women are fine, but the other half look like something you'd draw with your left hand.

I'm waiting for Eau de Vegemite.

Look, I'm a Brit with perfectly good teeth and I for one are sick and tired of you Americans making fun of UK dentistry. I'll have you know that British people generally have straight, attractive teeth and........JESUS FARKING GOD, LOOK AT THE GNASHERS ON THAT THING!!!!11!1!!!111!!!

Let's just go ahead and agree that all we're really going to discuss here is that semblance of a human female in TFA. I can only assume the perfume will offer all the sophisticated elegance of its creator.

Robo Beat: Witchyman: That is one fugly chick...

Not fugly, just British. Half their women are fine, but the other half look like something you'd draw with your left hand.

I wouldn't fap to that with my left hand.

Is that some kind of Formica or something?

_{/yeah, i did already}

Chav thread?

Robo Beat: Witchyman: That is one fugly chick...

Not fugly, just British. Half their women are fine, but the other half look like something you'd draw with your left hand.

that's awesome. im gonna use that.

I tend to stay away from yeasty chicks.

"Margaret prepared another batch of chloroform in preparation for a night on the pull"



"I have to drug them first of course, being so old and warty....."

lohphat: [cache.gawker.com image 300x298]

is that your mom?

Branston pickle =/= pickles, subby. It's more like chutney.

"Unflattering perfume inspired by Burton-on-Trent"
"the residents of Bolton-on-Trent"

I appreciate that nobody who works for the Wail has ever been further north than Islington, but seriously?!

/lmao @ Pert

Robo Beat: Witchyman: That is one fugly chick...

Not fugly, just British. Half their women are fine, but the other half look like something you'd draw with your left hand.

ROFLMAO

mbillips: Branston pickle =/= pickles, subby. It's more like chutney.

i dont even know what chutney is. i bet it smells like ass.

some_beer_drinker: i dont even know what chutney is. i bet it smells like ass.

I'll ferret you some out.

/chutney is a food of the gods. Mango chutney with poppadoms and curry, onion chutney with cheddar or Epoisses cheese, Branston pickle with a good ham ploughman's, spicy tomato chutney with sausages..... you don't know what you're missing!

Marmite and cheese= bliss.

some_beer_drinker: mbillips: Branston pickle =/= pickles, subby. It's more like chutney.

i dont even know what chutney is. i bet it smells like ass.

Chutney : relish :: fruit : vegetables

It is an unflattering tribute to Burton, which has a reputation for smelling of ale due to the surrounding hops fields.

Oh for Christ's sake. NO. The Burton/Bolton confusion was bad enough, and I appreciate that proper journalism is a lost art, but the cretinous farktard they let loose on this article has made so many elementary errors that I would assume that she wrote it after a liquid lunch, except for the fact she clearly knows absolutely bugger all about the traditional drink of her home country!

The archetypal brewery stink is the result of yeast fermentation, which is why it smells like Marmite (or worse), NOT the smell of hops. Hops for the Burton brewing industry were historically grown around Abingdon, some hundred miles further south, Burton being a centre for brewery as a result of its exceptionally pure water.

Richard Prior as the whino:

"and whats wrong with yo teef hangin' out yo mouf and sh-t. Need to see an orfodontist. thats a dentist ya know haw haw!

FTA: 'I was shocked at how good it was as that is not normally how you make a perfume.'

I think I found her problem. She's not aware perfume is supposed to have a pleasing scent.

Pert: Look, I'm a Brit with perfectly good teeth and I for one are sick and tired of you Americans making fun of UK dentistry. I'll have you know that British people generally have straight, attractive teeth and........JESUS FARKING GOD, LOOK AT THE GNASHERS ON THAT THING!!!!11!1!!!111!!!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 468x559]

"The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it!"

FarkinNortherner: Oh for Christ's sake. NO

Admit it - you logged in and complained, didn't you? If not there's someone very like you who has.....

So instead of Chocolates for Valentines, I guess these would be more practical for her:

Looks like it's time to set more traps in the marsh. Thought I got all the critters last spring.....

Pert: Admit it - you logged in and complained, didn't you? If not there's someone very like you who has.....

I do not have a Daily Mail log-in!

Marmite and Branston Pickle are both damn awesome. Tragically they are the only awesome parts of this story. Because I assume the beer is crap lager.

I love the way my girlfriend's armpits smell.
SO I'm willing to give anything a shot.

/ug, gumline

The only scents that are food like I approve of are vanilla and cinnamon, when worn on a woman. Marmite is good on grilled cheese, but I usually forget to put it on there. What is a Branston Pickle? I like pickles with my grilled cheese but not sure if it is one.

FarkinNortherner: I do not have a Daily Mail log-in!

Whatever you say, Mr David Thompson of Driffield.....

"The smell comes from the brewing process. I stand to be corrected but I don't think hops are harvested locally. The town is also Burton on Trent not Bolton. And I don't think Branston pickle is made there nowadays - or that locals call themselves Burtoians. The whole article seems to be just a reprint of a press release as there are no comments from anyone else and a certain blue box gets mentioned three times. In short, the Mail's journalistic standards are clearly improving. Well done."

Tofino: Tragically they are the only awesome parts of this story. Because I assume the beer is crap lager.

Well yes, if you don't count all the excellent ales/bitters/milds/stouts brewed in and around the area.

Talk about mixed feeling, if that chick wanted to give you a beejay. Those teeth are downright scary. But, it's a beejay!

Hard one to call.

rev. dave: What is a Branston Pickle?



Sweet, tangy, crunchy pickled vegetables.

From wiki:

"Branston Pickle is made from a variety of diced vegetables, including swede, carrots, onions, cauliflower and gherkins pickled in a sauce made from vinegar, tomato, apple and dates with spices such as mustard, coriander, garlic, cinnamon, pepper, cloves, nutmeg and cayenne pepper with sugar. In recent years high-fructose corn syrup has replaced sugar in the product sold in the American market. Sugar is still used in the British version."

Pert: Whatever you say, Mr David Thompson of Driffield.....

LOL. I think he and I would get on well (or possibly drown in a sea of righteous indignation.)

No doubt Liver- Eating Johnson would approve of both her and her scent.

Link (new window)



her teeth remind me of this commercial.

Robo Beat: Witchyman: That is one fugly chick...

Not fugly, just British. Half their women are fine, but the other half look like something you'd draw with your left hand.

Hey fark you man, I'm left handed.
But I'm not an artist.

/carry on

Pert: rev. dave: What is a Branston Pickle?

[travelblog.dailymail.co.uk image 428x269]

Sweet, tangy, crunchy pickled vegetables.

From wiki:

"Branston Pickle is made from a variety of diced vegetables, including swede, carrots, onions, cauliflower and gherkins pickled in a sauce made from vinegar, tomato, apple and dates with spices such as mustard, coriander, garlic, cinnamon, pepper, cloves, nutmeg and cayenne pepper with sugar. In recent years high-fructose corn syrup has replaced sugar in the product sold in the American market. Sugar is still used in the British version."

looks tasty, I need to try some

The Stealth Hippopotamus: But how is the beer flavor nipples research coming along???

"I was in a bar the other day, nursing a beer.............. my nipple was quite soggy........"

/god bless you Emo Phillips