FARK.com: (6676903) PETA: Because killer whales at SeaWorld are slaves, that magically makes them protected under the 13th amendment. Wait, what?

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		PETA: Because killer whales at SeaWorld are slaves, that magically makes them protected under the 13th amendment. Wait, what? (msnbc.msn.com)		118
		More: Weird, SeaWorld Orlando, Tilikum, merits of the case, original intent, court of public opinion, Harvard Law, amendments

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5061 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Oct 2011 at 8:58 AM | Favorite | share:

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118 Comments (+0 »)

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Chariset

2011-10-26 01:42:58 AM

So that's why killer whales are considered endangered -- some of them only count for 3/5 of a whale.

Relatively Obscure

2011-10-26 04:02:53 AM

A federal court is being asked to grant constitutional rights to five killer whales who perform at marine parks

Do killer whales = people?

No?

Okay, g'bye.

SurfaceTension

2011-10-26 08:59:16 AM

Preamble to the Constitution:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence,[note 1] promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Whales =/= People

It's a real shame about PETA. They could actually do some good if they weren't over the top like they are. Such a strange world-view they have.

Sock Ruh Tease

2011-10-26 08:59:43 AM

Why does PETA, an organization that supports the wanton killing of animals, care about the rights of whales?

hicksfa2

2011-10-26 09:00:43 AM

That's just weapons grade stupid right there

Satanic_Hamster

2011-10-26 09:00:58 AM

Hate groups like Peta. The theory that any press coverage is good coverage only goes so far; there comes a point where you're just acting so stupid that it hurts your cause.

(and yes, I know Peta crossed that line a LONG time ago)

neversubmit

2011-10-26 09:02:33 AM

I love peta it's great bread.

Dear Jerk

2011-10-26 09:03:22 AM

Human rights. Animals don't have them.

jmadisonbiii

2011-10-26 09:03:27 AM

I guess next they'll be telling me that the Eighth means I can't have steak tonight.

PanicMan

2011-10-26 09:03:47 AM

Nobody likes PITA. The other activist groups pick them last for kickball and pants them in front of the cool kids.

alowishus

2011-10-26 09:03:50 AM

While still very very stupid, this somehow annoys me less than their "fish are sea kittens" campaign aimed at children.

LegacyDL

2011-10-26 09:04:18 AM

I am Sparti...errr Shamu!

TravelingFreakshow

2011-10-26 09:04:50 AM

So when the court laughs this out of the room, it's back to whale on toast, right?

HailRobonia

2011-10-26 09:05:21 AM

So when an orca kills a dolphin, can we arrest it and put it on trial for murder?

Le French Boo

2011-10-26 09:05:32 AM

Anthropomorphic has some how seeped into these people's minds. These are animals, not people. The 13th amendment covers PEOPLE. The idea that these animals are able to have the cognitive skills that humans have is very disturbing and these people should be put in a straightjacket.

HailRobonia

2011-10-26 09:06:25 AM

Le French Boo: Anthropomorphic has some how seeped into these people's minds.

Yeah, don't anthropomorphize animals. They hate that.

puckrock2000

2011-10-26 09:06:36 AM

They're not slaves; they get paid in fish every time they do a trick. I mean seriously; what are whales gonna do with money? They don't have pants to put a wallet in.

stevarooni

2011-10-26 09:07:04 AM

PETA, like MADD, has outlived its usefulness. Laws exist, and are enforced, in every state in the U.S. Now they simply exist to exist...and to brighten up a slow Fark day. ;-)

Jake Havechek

2011-10-26 09:07:13 AM

Captain Nolan: You revengeful sonofabiatch! You win!

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros

2011-10-26 09:07:43 AM

Free Baby Shamu!

Silverstaff

2011-10-26 09:12:39 AM

Came here to say that this would require legally recognizing Orca as "people". Glad to see that others beat me to it.

Does PETA intend that they should have voting rights too?

PETA = Insane Attention Whores

seadoo2006

2011-10-26 09:13:27 AM

I've always wondered what Shamu tastes like ... any Japanese people in here?

Valiente

2011-10-26 09:13:31 AM

With great power comes great responsibility. Whales can vote when they pick up after themselves or can drive ambulances.

Jake Havechek

2011-10-26 09:13:39 AM

Why not, we recognize corporations as people.

Green Scorpio

2011-10-26 09:13:51 AM

Kill all the lawyers. Then PETA will just go away

mbillips

2011-10-26 09:15:46 AM

Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!

Green Scorpio

2011-10-26 09:15:48 AM

Chariset: So that's why killer whales are considered endangered -- some of them only count for 3/5 of a whale.

And this is why you read before you comment. Had I know the thread was already over, I wouldn't have bothered.

seadoo2006

2011-10-26 09:16:13 AM

alowishus: While still very very stupid, this somehow annoys me less than their "fish are sea kittens" campaign aimed at children.

OMG ...

www.strategyguidereviews.com

DIE PETA DIE!!!!

Straelbora

2011-10-26 09:16:33 AM

I heard that they're going to do a line of black and white clothing, called FUWBUW.

vaderstg

2011-10-26 09:17:01 AM

Jake Havechek: Why not, we recognize corporations as people.

Oh hey, look, its the partisan shill come to troll.

I should just call you Gumby.

DaddyRat

2011-10-26 09:17:17 AM

Jake Havechek: Why not, we recognize corporations as people.

When the whales put together a nice IPO, they'll be all set.

unicron702

2011-10-26 09:18:15 AM

Dear Peta: Stan, me, & Kenny don't give two shiats about stupid-ass whales.

Green Scorpio

2011-10-26 09:19:29 AM

mbillips: Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!

Did you just make that up? Someone should write a book...

seadoo2006

2011-10-26 09:20:02 AM

unicron702: Dear Peta: Stan, me, & Kenny don't give two shiats about stupid-ass whales.

I larf'ed ... one of the funniest episodes in the entire series.

Silverstaff

2011-10-26 09:21:19 AM

Jake Havechek: Why not, we recognize corporations as people.

. . .and that was a mistake too.

People are people.

Animals are not people. They are companions, they are pets, they are servants, they are food. . .they are not people.

Corporations are not people. They provide a legal sham to protect the greedy from the consequences of their actions.

Jake Havechek

2011-10-26 09:21:47 AM

Green Scorpio: Kill all the lawyers. Then PETA will just go away

The Jews? That's not very nice.

rebelyell2006

2011-10-26 09:21:50 AM

alowishus: While still very very stupid, this somehow annoys me less than their "fish are sea kittens" campaign aimed at children.

Good thing they didn't do such a campaign when I was a child, because I would have interpreted that as meaning I could eat my neighbor's cat without repercussions. Since it was just a land fish.

neversubmit

2011-10-26 09:22:28 AM

TravelingFreakshow: So when the court laughs this out of the room, it's back to whale on ~~toast~~ peta bread, right?

unicron702: Dear Peta: Stan, me, & Kenny don't give two shiats about stupid-ass whales.

Could you give one shiat about a smart ass-whale?

HailRobonia

2011-10-26 09:23:22 AM

seadoo2006: I've always wondered what Shamu tastes like ... any Japanese people in here?

It tastes like fake beef, aka sham moo.

rebelyell2006

2011-10-26 09:24:43 AM

neversubmit: Could you give one shiat about a smart ass-whale?

I see ass-whales everywhere, but they aren't smart. Texas isn't known for smart ass-whales. Would I give a shiat about them? No, because they are ass-whales.

Jake Havechek

2011-10-26 09:24:56 AM

Whut in tarnation is it, whut nameless, inscrutable, unearthly thin' is it; whut cozenin', hidden lo'd an' master, an' cruel, remo'seless empero' comman's me; thet aginst all natural lovin's an' longin's, ah so keep pushin', an' crowdin', an' jammin' mahse'f on all th' time; recklessly makin' me ready t'do whut in mah own right, natural heart, ah durst not so much as dast? Is Ahab, Ahab?

Satanic_Hamster

2011-10-26 09:26:34 AM

stevarooni: PETA, like MADD, has outlived its usefulness. Laws exist, and are enforced, in every state in the U.S. Now they simply exist to exist...and to brighten up a slow Fark day. ;-)

Has PETA ever been useful?

I mean, have they ever been considered a reasonable or mainstream organization? They've been a running joke since as long as I can remember.

mynameisdouglas

2011-10-26 09:28:34 AM

This isn't an Onion article?

Philip J. Fry

2011-10-26 09:29:39 AM

Relatively Obscure: A federal court is being asked to grant constitutional rights to five killer whales who perform at marine parks

Do killer whales = people?

No?

Okay, g'bye.

The whales should incorporate.

mod3072

2011-10-26 09:29:42 AM

PETA - The left's version of fundies.

stevarooni

2011-10-26 09:30:39 AM

Satanic_Hamster: Has PETA ever been useful?

I mean, have they ever been considered a reasonable or mainstream organization? They've been a running joke since as long as I can remember.

They had a fairly coherent and compelling message. 25+ years ago, before animal welfare (not rights, incidentally) laws were nigh-universal, PETA had a good point about the mistreatment of animals. They were not, incidentally, the group that pushed through that legislation, but they did ride along with that, and weren't the nut-jobs that they are today.

Wytchone

2011-10-26 09:35:46 AM

Sooo they are slaves because they are part black?

/insert that's racist.gif

Strauuman

2011-10-26 09:37:29 AM

Apparently my cat is also a slave. I use it to catch (and eat) spiders.

Who else has animal slaves?

rebelyell2006

2011-10-26 09:38:56 AM

Strauuman: Who else has animal slaves?

My dog is a slave. I force him to be a couch potato and area rug all day.

/such a lazy slave

obamadidcoke

2011-10-26 09:40:19 AM

I want to eat a killer wale.

/i like turtles