Strawberries to be declared a Schedule I narcotic in 3...2...1...

My left side often hurts. What are some of these symptoms? And how serious are they?

So Boone's Farm is therapeutically neutral?

Also do strawberry flavored Starbursts count? If so, I think I'm set.

Cmdr. Quueg impressed.

farkingismybusiness: My left side often hurts. What are some of these symptoms? And how serious are they?

Usually that means your boyfriend is right-handed, and the cause is you talking to much and not making enough sandwiches.

This is all a conspiracy by the strawberry companies to move old inventory.

If they really wanted you to be healthy, they wouldn't be selling you a product that only treats the symptoms.

AverageAmericanGuy: This is all a conspiracy by the strawberry companies to move old inventory.

If they really wanted you to be healthy, they wouldn't be selling you a product that only treats the symptoms.

A+++ would read again.

Strawberries will be synthesized then,
untaken_name
2011-10-26 01:41:59 AM

Strawberries to be declared a Schedule I narcotic in 3...2...1...

Approves

No BF3 thread, really???

Well alright....

Coffee protects the liver.
Strawberries protect the stomach.

Now we just have to find what protects the esophagus and colon, and we can figure out how to make a boozy yet completely safe drink from all of it.


/oh yeah, the kidneys...

Seriously though. My left side is often in pain. Why?

/I need to stop drinking

namatad: yet another reason for strawberry margaritas

Tomorrow, you'll need to report to your local firehouse, police station or DMV to turn in your Man Card. They usually begin accepting them at 8AM, Monday through Friday (except for bank holidays.)

what about Dewberries?

farkingismybusiness: Seriously though. My left side is often in pain. Why?

/I need to stop drinking

You have cancer and you're going to die. Sorry.

/FFS go and see a doctor if you're worried rather than ask random strangers

beer4breakfast: Well alright....

Coffee protects the liver.
Strawberries protect the stomach.

Now we just have to find what protects the esophagus and colon, and we can figure out how to make a boozy yet completely safe drink from all of it.


/oh yeah, the kidneys...

I think I read that tomato sauce protects you from cancers and inflammation from mouth to butt.

With a name like Smuckers...

/you had to be drunk.

thisispete: farkingismybusiness: Seriously though. My left side is often in pain. Why?

/I need to stop drinking

You have cancer and you're going to die. Sorry.

/FFS go and see a doctor if you're worried rather than ask random strangers

You're right. I need to. I'm drunk and forgot this is Fark and not Reddit, where I might actually get an informed medical opinion. My mistake. Funny, I thought Farkers would be the experts in alcoholism.

/cheers

Now they need to

1. Show evidence that strawberries can be used in the manufacture of Meth.
2. Lobby congress to make strawberries available by prescription only.
3. Send SWAT teams to arrest people with gardens/shoot their dogs.
4. Profit!

"With a name like Flucker's, it's got to be great jam."

/also Mangled Baby Ducks
//and Painful Rectal Itch
///don't even ask about the 10,000 Nuns and Orphans

A Terrible Human: farkingismybusiness: You're right. I need to. I'm drunk and forgot this is Fark and not Reddit, where I might actually get an informed medical opinion. My mistake. Funny, I thought Farkers would be the experts in alcoholism.

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]

I dunno about that. Check out r/askscience. I'm not even a fan of Reddit, but it is better for this type of thing. TFA is about stomach problems and my left side hurts. I'd like to know why. Fark offers nothing but snark. I guess that's to be expected.

Strawberries
Raspberries
Violets
Gumdrops

farkingismybusiness: A Terrible Human: farkingismybusiness: You're right. I need to. I'm drunk and forgot this is Fark and not Reddit, where I might actually get an informed medical opinion. My mistake. Funny, I thought Farkers would be the experts in alcoholism.

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]

I dunno about that. Check out r/askscience. I'm not even a fan of Reddit, but it is better for this type of thing. TFA is about stomach problems and my left side hurts. I'd like to know why. Fark offers nothing but snark. I guess that's to be expected.

Sometimes snark food is good for ya.

/sorry your left side hurts.
//no really, I am

So one of those Egg Strawberry Council creeps got to you too, huh?

farkingismybusiness: A Terrible Human: farkingismybusiness: You're right. I need to. I'm drunk and forgot this is Fark and not Reddit, where I might actually get an informed medical opinion. My mistake. Funny, I thought Farkers would be the experts in alcoholism.

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]

I dunno about that. Check out r/askscience. I'm not even a fan of Reddit, but it is better for this type of thing. TFA is about stomach problems and my left side hurts. I'd like to know why. Fark offers nothing but snark. I guess that's to be expected.

Have you considered consulting a medical professional about your medical problems rather than an Internet forum dedicated to mocking stupid news stories? I can't guarantee it, but I would be willing to bet that you'll get better results that way.

untaken_name: farkingismybusiness: A Terrible Human: farkingismybusiness: You're right. I need to. I'm drunk and forgot this is Fark and not Reddit, where I might actually get an informed medical opinion. My mistake. Funny, I thought Farkers would be the experts in alcoholism.

[i.imgur.com image 640x480]

I dunno about that. Check out r/askscience. I'm not even a fan of Reddit, but it is better for this type of thing. TFA is about stomach problems and my left side hurts. I'd like to know why. Fark offers nothing but snark. I guess that's to be expected.

Have you considered consulting a medical professional about your medical problems rather than an Internet forum dedicated to mocking stupid news stories? I can't guarantee it, but I would be willing to bet that you'll get better results that way.

Nah, I'll just eat strawberries.

untaken_name: Strawberries to be declared a Schedule I narcotic in 3...2...1...

I was thinking the same thing...

Big pharma will make a pill out of something from strawberries, but it will be a con.

Just like garlic tablets. The enzymes in garlic that make it a great food for us are killed when creating the tablet, so all you are doing is swallowing something that makes your burbs smell funny.

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: namatad: yet another reason for strawberry margaritas

Tomorrow, you'll need to report to your local firehouse, police station or DMV to turn in your Man Card. They usually begin accepting them at 8AM, Monday through Friday (except for bank holidays.)

Link (new window)

I've averaged five pounds of berries a week this summer so I'm getting a kick.

What does Smucker's have to do with strawberries?

it's too bad that thanks to red states and the continuing push for strict immigration law without any kind of guest worker program in place, the price of foods such as strawberries are about to skyrocket due to labor shortages.

Rik01: Price of strawberries to soar in 3...2...1

Taking bets on how long it will be before strawberries in pill form pop up and get extra points if they show up first on an infomercial.

Any takers?

Only to have their efficacy ridiculed, leading them to be outlawed entirely until their beneficial chemical compounds can be synthesized, patented, sold and marketed as being a million times better than the real thing despite the side effect of killing you?

Wait...I'd almost bet on that, actually..

Strawberrybrau?

There was a record bumper crop of strawberries this year at least in Europe so that probably explains this article.

Achievement unlocked: Food staple

Now over-boozing rats need not worry.

Really need to get working on a greenhouse for veggies and fruits this winter.

Are dried strawberries just as effective?

leave the mice alone, all the other critters too. screw you ACLU.

prisoners used to enjoy making extra $ testing products. don't go all "awww" for the farkin prisoners because civilians submit to tests for money too. it's voluntary and for pay.

got what, a million mother killers & baby rapers that are never gonna see freedom again. it would make them feel good to contribute to mankind & science by voluntary participation in clinical studies. makes more sense than testing on mice and bunnies.

would like to perform tests on the dooshbags in the ACLU. we CAN have zombies, you know you want them.

More like Dole and Driscoll as opposed to Smuckers, They are two of the nations largest
suppliers of fresh berries, Smuckers buys their rejects to process.