Layne Staley is alive!

If this wasn't sexual may my internet license be revoked.

Just goes to show you, don't stick your wood in wood.
/wood swells when wet

//I once restored a Barnegat Bay sailboat from 1964 (took me 3 years) and after I finished it, I put it in the Shrewsbury River only to see it fill with water and sink. The amount of fail was epic!!!

///my saving grace is that the restored sailboat is in the Toms River Seaport Society & Maritime Museum

"The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Arbor Day. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was a Thursday night in April. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were potting up the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Arbor Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was nice outside one morning, so I went out to climb in our backyard tree. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the hollow part about eight feet up. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was waiting for Arbor Day in his favorite tree... his arms loaded with potting soil. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Arbor Claus."

dahmers love zombie: "The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Arbor Day. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was a Thursday night in April. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were potting up the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Arbor Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was nice outside one morning, so I went out to climb in our backyard tree. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the hollow part about eight feet up. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was waiting for Arbor Day in his favorite tree... his arms loaded with potting soil. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Arbor Claus."

*golfclap*

/have three Arbor Day trees in the yard.. all over ten years old

Awkward.

"Why he's in a tree, I have no idea," Concepcion told the Register.

..."perhaps he'll die"

/nowait...

They should pass a noble law so the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, axe, and saw.

TheOther: Meh...How many pervert skeletons did you ever see in trees?

Just open a can of tuna and leave it nearby.

A+ comment.

strangeguitar: [i175.photobucket.com image 101x100]

Done in one

/Came for Keebler Elves reference