Godspeed angry, bitter old man.

I'm trying to think of an eyebrow joke, but can't think of one that doesn't sound lame.

/Best wishes, Andy. Keep yelling at those clouds.

Too bad he didn't retire twenty years ago and get to enjoy time after television.

great headline

The only news here is the old idiot is still alive.

cretinbob: [24.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]
RIP Andy Rooney

He's a Mentat? That explains everything....

/actually, no....

Vasectomy gone wrong?

/Get well soon CBS grouchy man.

Aren't you generally already hospitalized when you have surgery?

/DNRTFA

Fark Me Runnin: Aren't you generally already hospitalized when you have surgery?
/DNRTFA

It was just a routine vasectomy. He was planning on having some fun now that he's retired. After all, he's rich and famous--the babes love that.

"I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
― Andy Rooney

A browectomy can be tricky business.

Think about it...he couldn't have that procedure while still on the air; that was his signature look!

Dude wanted to clean his looks up, take his millions to Monaco, play the tables, get a tan basking in the sublime Rivera sun and bag some pelt.

In other news, Andy Rooney is apparently still alive.

Hydra: I saw this commercial on late night TV, it was for this thing you attach to a garden hose, it was like "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product." Who the fark would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. "I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach! I will throw water at you. Hopefully they will invent a product before you shrivel and die! Think like a cactus!" So it said, "You can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95." I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments, and one farkin' complicated payment! We ain't gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a biatch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination; good luck, farker! The last payment must be made in wampum!

Rip

cretinbob: [24.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]
RIP Andy Rooney

What has been seen cannot be unseen...

tick tick tick tick tick tick...

I wonder what he thinks about gauze bandages and bedpans. Because if he makes it through this, he will surely tell us.

/get well soon, Mr. Rooney.
//stepping off your lawn now.
///he covered D-Day as a journalist

oh darn....

this is the same stupid narrow-minded f-bomb that went on 60 minutes and said he didn't feel sorry for Kurt Cobain after he killed himself. After watching this ass-mudgeon make that statement I never watched him on 60 minutes ever again. Now it's your turn for the worms to get to your grave Andy, and I hope they piss on you with Kurt's DNA.

Good luck f-er.

/ "f-u!!!, f-uu".
//from Kurt

You know what's really disturbing these days? People. Not just any person in particular mind you but but society as a whole when it comes to the subject of death. Sure, there are religions that dictate how one's passing should be dealt with but do we truly know where we will end up when we die? Some will say heaven is full of virgins, some will say hell is giving opinions at the end of 60 minutes.

/I will say who cares, drink more.

The first year after retirement is the killer. More men die then than you would believe. The harder a worker a guy is, the more likely he is to just click off the lights and bye-bye.

/No women.

Jeez the CNN article on this is basically mention of his hospitalization, and his obituary! WTH, man?

Bagelox-99: The first year after retirement is the killer. More men die then than you would believe. The harder a worker a guy is, the more likely he is to just click off the lights and bye-bye.

/No women.

Charles Schultz's final strip appeared the day after he died. Retired, and died before his retirement could start.

SnakeMan: Bagelox-99: The first year after retirement is the killer. More men die then than you would believe. The harder a worker a guy is, the more likely he is to just click off the lights and bye-bye.

/No women.

[www3.images.coolspotters.com image 300x450]

Jeez I didn't know that. I thought he retired because he had cancer or something. From wiki:

After a mediocre 1982 season (8-4), Bryant, who had turned 69 in September, decided to retire, stating "This is my school, my alma mater. I love it and I love my players. But in my opinion, they deserved better coaching than they have been getting from me this year." His last regular season game was a 23-22 loss to Auburn and his last postseason game was a 21-15 victory in the Liberty Bowl in Memphis, Tennessee over the University of Illinois. After the game, Bryant was asked what he planned to do now that he was retired. He replied "Probably croak in a week."
Only four weeks after making that comment, and just one day after passing a routine medical checkup, on January 25, 1983, Bryant checked into Druid City Hospital in Tuscaloosa after experiencing chest pain. A day later, when being prepared for an electrocardiogram, he died after suffering a massive heart attack. First news of Bryant's death came from Bert Bank (WTBC Radio Tuscaloosa) and on the NBC Radio Network (anchored by Stan Martyn and reported by Stewart Stogel).[9] On his hand at the time of his death was the only piece of jewelry he ever wore, a gold ring inscribed "The Junction Boys".[10] He is interred at Birmingham's Elmwood Cemetery. A month after his death, Bryant was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian award, by President Ronald Reagan. A moment of silence was held prior to Super Bowl XVII, played four days after Bryant's passing.

sumdruncomic: ass-mudgeon

LMAO

cryinoutloud: Fark Me Runnin: Aren't you generally already hospitalized when you have surgery?
/DNRTFA

It was just a routine vasectomy. He was planning on having some fun now that he's retired. After all, he's rich and famous--the babes love that.

Betty White insisted upon it, because at her age she doesn't want to get pregnant.

cretinbob: [24.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]
RIP Andy Rooney

You owe me a cup of coffee and a keyboard.

sumdruncomic: oh darn....

this is the same stupid narrow-minded f-bomb that went on 60 minutes and said he didn't feel sorry for Kurt Cobain after he killed himself. After watching this ass-mudgeon make that statement I never watched him on 60 minutes ever again. Now it's your turn for the worms to get to your grave Andy, and I hope they piss on you with Kurt's DNA.

Good luck f-er.

/ "f-u!!!, f-uu".
//from Kurt

Kurt Cobain did the World a great service by offing himself. His lyrics were banal pap run through a randomizer set to "drugged plaid". His musicianship was legendary in its mediocrity. His biggest hit was musically a ripoff, titularly a joke he didn't understand, and a lyrical mess. My theory is that in some odd moment of sobriety, he realized all of this, saw that he had millions of fans, and he then decided that ending it was the right thing to do for the future of humanity.

The Lone Talbot: Jeez the CNN article on this is basically mention of his hospitalization, and his obituary! WTH, man?

Well, to be fair the guy is like 300 years old.

Bagelox-99: The first year after retirement is the killer. More men die then than you would believe. The harder a worker a guy is, the more likely he is to just click off the lights and bye-bye.

/No women.

Bit of a self fulfilling prophecy there. Hard workers only tend to retire because of serious health issues that prevent them from doing what they love, working. Because they retire for serious health reasons, they are likely to die fairly soon.

/women haven't been allowed in the work force long enough to rack up similar stats.

Oblig for any MST3Ker:


MST3K Andy Rooney Off (new window)

I never did get to dress up as Andy Rooney's eyebrow for Halloween.

Great headline.