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(NPR) Spiffy Emily Dickinson's coconut cake recipe. Can be sung to the tune of Yellow Rose of Texas   (npr.org) divider line 79
More: Spiffy, Emily Dickinson, Texas, food allergies, Amherst, occupancy, recipes, baking, egg yolks  
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6133 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2011 at 8:18 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-10-24 05:49:45 PM
media.screened.com
Well no shiat, sherlock
 
2011-10-24 06:21:36 PM
Oh damn, I have all the ingredients except for "Two cups of sifted Death's Sweet Release."
 
2011-10-24 06:44:21 PM
Also "Gilligan's Island."
 
2011-10-24 07:50:59 PM
Really, you replaced butter, a natural product, with a butter-flavored, full of chemicals & artificial colors/flavors spread? Why in the name of all that is holy would you do such a thing?
 
2011-10-24 08:23:24 PM
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2011-10-24 08:23:28 PM
I read that as cocaine cake recipe
 
2011-10-24 08:24:22 PM
Emily Dickinson's Coconut Cake, Retouched for the 21st Century

2 cups Coconut Secret® coconut sap sugar
1 cup Earth Balance® butter substitute
2 cups brown rice flour (Arrowhead Mills® gluten-free "Improved Texture" mix works well)
6 eggs (separate yolks and whites)

1 ½ to 2 cups shredded, unsweetened coconut (can also use flaked coconut, coarsely chopped)
1 cup coconut milk


DIE HIPPY SCUM

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2011-10-24 08:25:53 PM
You know, I heard a girl died ingesting cake before she was even finished. Vomited up her pelvis bone. What a farking disgrace.
 
2011-10-24 08:27:03 PM
UND KEINE EIER
 
2011-10-24 08:27:42 PM
Bathia_Mapes: Really, you replaced butter, a natural product, with a butter-flavored, full of chemicals & artificial colors/flavors spread? Why in the name of all that is holy would you do such a thing?

Butter is a blessing, margarine is an abomination. I'm eating roasted red potatoes with butter on them right now. *checks recipe* oh, Earth Balance. Vegan margarine. Oh dear.

Anyway, butter, fark yeah.

That said, coconut cake is pretty awesome.
 
2011-10-24 08:32:21 PM
Sometimes it's good to be an expat.
 
2011-10-24 08:34:54 PM
Well played, subby. Well-played.

Did she write this while becoming the worlds hide and seek champion?
 
2011-10-24 08:37:09 PM
FunkOut: Bathia_Mapes: Really, you replaced butter, a natural product, with a butter-flavored, full of chemicals & artificial colors/flavors spread? Why in the name of all that is holy would you do such a thing?

Butter is a blessing, margarine is an abomination. I'm eating roasted red potatoes with butter on them right now. *checks recipe* oh, Earth Balance. Vegan margarine. Oh dear.

Anyway, butter, fark yeah.

That said, coconut cake is pretty awesome.


When making goodies, baked or not, I use butter, with one exception. Fantasy Fudge. The recipe was originally designed to use margarine and it doesn't turn out right using butter. However, I make the fudge once a year around Christmas, so I don't think using margarine for that one particular item is going to cause problems.

I do wish I could try the coconut cake recipe because it sound delicious, but I'm actually allergic to coconut. Sucks to be me. :-(
 
2011-10-24 08:45:07 PM
Bathia_Mapes: Really, you replaced butter, a natural product, with a butter-flavored, full of chemicals & artificial colors/flavors spread? Why in the name of all that is holy would you do such a thing?

it's an abomination against nature.

not a 'foodie' but i frickin loathe modern cookbooks that call for canned, bagged, processed and molested ingredients. yes, people are busy. butt there are weekends and days off when people want to make real treats for loved ones.

i'll admit it. i want to make sweet sweet love by the fire to Martha, Rachael and Giada. first i'll prepare them a home-made scrumptious meal. mmmmm.

old / fat / those women wouldn't even bother to laff at me
 
2011-10-24 08:45:22 PM
I sang it to the tune of Gilligan's Island theme, it worked as well.
 
2011-10-24 08:45:53 PM
Let's turn this into a recipe thread. No margarine allowed!
 
2011-10-24 08:47:09 PM
Bathia_Mapes: When making goodies, baked or not, I use butter, with one exception. Fantasy Fudge. The recipe was originally designed to use margarine and it doesn't turn out right using butter. However, I make the fudge once a year around Christmas, so I don't think using margarine for that one particular item is going to cause problems.

I do wish I could try the coconut cake recipe because it sound delicious, but I'm actually allergic to coconut. Sucks to be me. :-(


I am truly sorry to hear that. I know someone with an orange allergy and I can't imagine being allergic to either.

Margarine once a year in fudge is no big deal. But when I hear about people making shortbread cookies or pastry dough with margarine and I want to shake them violently and shout "You sick sick horrible bastard!"
 
2011-10-24 08:53:18 PM
Because I could not stop for Cake-
It kindly stopped for me-
The Oven held but just Ourselves-
And many a Calorie.
 
2011-10-24 08:55:04 PM
FunkOut: Bathia_Mapes: When making goodies, baked or not, I use butter, with one exception. Fantasy Fudge. The recipe was originally designed to use margarine and it doesn't turn out right using butter. However, I make the fudge once a year around Christmas, so I don't think using margarine for that one particular item is going to cause problems.

I do wish I could try the coconut cake recipe because it sound delicious, but I'm actually allergic to coconut. Sucks to be me. :-(

I am truly sorry to hear that. I know someone with an orange allergy and I can't imagine being allergic to either.

Margarine once a year in fudge is no big deal. But when I hear about people making shortbread cookies or pastry dough with margarine and I want to shake them violently and shout "You sick sick horrible bastard!"


I like butter in cooking & baking, but IMHO, I do think Paula Deen overdoes it.
 
2011-10-24 08:56:00 PM
DeerNuts: Because I could not stop for Cake-
It kindly stopped for me-
The Oven held but just Ourselves-
And many a Calorie.


I heard an timer ding-
before I plated.
 
2011-10-24 08:59:12 PM
DeerNuts: Because I could not stop for Cake-
It kindly stopped for me-
The Oven held but just Ourselves-
And many a Calorie.


Aren't you Sylvia Plath??

/I like coconut cake, but the "anti-everytthing' version just sounds like poop. Poop I tell you!
 
2011-10-24 09:03:23 PM
brap: Oh damn, I have all the ingredients except for "Two cups of sifted Death's Sweet Release."

You magnificent bastard. Favourited.
 
2011-10-24 09:04:37 PM
"Joys - like Men - may sometimes make a Journey -/ And still abide."

media.247sports.com
 
2011-10-24 09:12:46 PM
Bathia_Mapes: I like butter in cooking & baking, but IMHO, I do think Paula Deen overdoes it.

Perfect example of too much of a good thing. She's possibly connected to the Adipose monsters in Doctor Who.
 
2011-10-24 09:14:08 PM
FunkOut: Bathia_Mapes: When making goodies, baked or not, I use butter, with one exception. Fantasy Fudge. The recipe was originally designed to use margarine and it doesn't turn out right using butter. However, I make the fudge once a year around Christmas, so I don't think using margarine for that one particular item is going to cause problems.

I do wish I could try the coconut cake recipe because it sound delicious, but I'm actually allergic to coconut. Sucks to be me. :-(

I am truly sorry to hear that. I know someone with an orange allergy and I can't imagine being allergic to either.

Margarine once a year in fudge is no big deal. But when I hear about people making shortbread cookies or pastry dough with margarine and I want to shake them violently and shout "You sick sick horrible bastard!"


You OK with margarine in baklava?
 
2011-10-24 09:15:14 PM
ambercat: Let's turn this into a recipe thread. No margarine allowed!


chicken with pears. (new window)
 
2011-10-24 09:16:32 PM
So they went to all the trouble to dig up the original recipe and then instead provide a completely different version with shiatty substitute ingredients? What the hell is the point?

Yeah, I have a coconut cake recipe too, but it isn't Emily Dickinson's recipe, so who gives a flying fark?
 
2011-10-24 09:17:36 PM
12th grade Literature would have been much better if instead of Dickinson, we analyzed recipes. Because fark Emily Dickinson.
 
2011-10-24 09:19:56 PM
KrispyKritter: Bathia_Mapes: Really, you replaced butter, a natural product, with a butter-flavored, full of chemicals & artificial colors/flavors spread? Why in the name of all that is holy would you do such a thing?

it's an abomination against nature.

not a 'foodie' but i frickin loathe modern cookbooks that call for canned, bagged, processed and molested ingredients. yes, people are busy. butt there are weekends and days off when people want to make real treats for loved ones.

i'll admit it. i want to make sweet sweet love by the fire to Martha, Rachael and Giada. first i'll prepare them a home-made scrumptious meal. mmmmm.

old / fat / those women wouldn't even bother to laff at me


Not only that but it REALLY doesn't take that long to make food from scratch if you're doing it simply. Mostly it will just be the baking time, and you can sit your ass down in front of the TV while stuff cooks, if you're so inclined.
 
2011-10-24 09:21:44 PM
I find her recipe more interesting than her poetry.
I mean, the recipe is really just a grocery list of items. There isn't any kind of mixing, cook time, or temperature instructions.
It leaves it up to your own imagination and interpretation.
Just like real poetry should.
 
2011-10-24 09:22:56 PM
Glad to see other people noticed what sounds like a pretty good recipe got farked up by trendy crap ingredients.

Use farking real sugar and real butter, or don't bother.
 
2011-10-24 09:23:13 PM
ThighsofGlory:

You OK with margarine in baklava?


I think that's supposed to be made with old Greek man forehead sweat.
 
2011-10-24 09:29:21 PM
I hate coconut.

farm4.static.flickr.com

/not the taste, the consistency
//obviously not obscure
 
2011-10-24 09:29:24 PM

FTFA:
2 cups Coconut Secret® coconut sap sugar
1 cup Earth Balance® butter substitute
2 cups brown rice flour (Arrowhead Mills® gluten-free "Improved Texture" mix works well)
6 eggs (separate yolks and whites)

1 ½ to 2 cups shredded, unsweetened coconut (can also use flaked coconut, coarsely chopped)
1 cup coconut milk


What's with the product placement? Is NPR that short of money?
 
2011-10-24 09:30:58 PM
ThighsofGlory: FunkOut: Bathia_Mapes: When making goodies, baked or not, I use butter, with one exception. Fantasy Fudge. The recipe was originally designed to use margarine and it doesn't turn out right using butter. However, I make the fudge once a year around Christmas, so I don't think using margarine for that one particular item is going to cause problems.

I do wish I could try the coconut cake recipe because it sound delicious, but I'm actually allergic to coconut. Sucks to be me. :-(

I am truly sorry to hear that. I know someone with an orange allergy and I can't imagine being allergic to either.

Margarine once a year in fudge is no big deal. But when I hear about people making shortbread cookies or pastry dough with margarine and I want to shake them violently and shout "You sick sick horrible bastard!"

You OK with margarine in baklava?


I'm not sure that I've ever had baklava made with margarine. I don't make it, but my sister does & she always uses butter.
 
2011-10-24 09:36:44 PM
Jesus, the author is too twee for a cake made by Emily farkin Dickinson. Die, hippy.
 
2011-10-24 09:38:19 PM
ambercat: Let's turn this into a recipe thread. No margarine allowed!

Not much into sweets but this is my all time favorite....Beer Cake!
The original recipie called for a lager but Ive tried all different kinds and liked each one in its own way. I think Becks Dark was the one i liked most

1 jar maraschino cherries (8 ounces)
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate
2 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup beer
3/4 cup buttermilk
1 1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1 pound powder sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
8 ounces cream cheese
2 1/4 stick butter

Drain cherries, reserving 1/4 cup of juice and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, combine 1 1/4 stick of butter and sugar & mix until light and fluffy

Add eggs, chocolate, flour, baking powder, beer, buttermilk, cherries & juice, walnuts and mix well

Pour into greased baking pan and bake at 350 degrees for approximately 40 minutes (until cooked through)

Combine cream cheese, 1 stick of butter, powder sugar and vanilla and mix well. When cake has cooled, spread frosting over top.

**NOTE: I modified the recipe slightly which really works....In addition to the beer listed above, open one bottle as the first step and drink until bottle is empty. Repeat until cake is done.
 
2011-10-24 09:42:23 PM
media.tumblr.com

Recipe calls for butter?

I use butter.
 
2011-10-24 09:42:41 PM
The original TFette.
 
2011-10-24 09:47:18 PM
I suppose it's not surprising that you guys don't seem to know what a hippie is, considering any that are left are probably in retirement homes, but they were not exactly reknowned for substituting trademarked corporate imitation food products into their recipes.
 
2011-10-24 09:51:23 PM
She looks way creepier on the kindle screensaver.

i188.photobucket.com
 
2011-10-24 09:56:39 PM
ThighsofGlory: You OK with margarine in baklava?

you OK with pee in your Coke?
/thisisanoutrage(jpeg)]
//Die_Infidel(jpeg)]
///My baklava brings all the eastern girls in d yard..
 
2011-10-24 09:56:46 PM
lordargent: She looks way creepier on the kindle screensaver.



She looks delightful! Why, I'd say that the artist took three hours to finish the shading on her lower lip.
 
2011-10-24 09:58:32 PM
www.latimes.com
RIP Pistol Packin Mama
 
2011-10-24 10:00:03 PM
Shenanigans!: So they went to all the trouble to dig up the original recipe and then instead provide a completely different version with shiatty substitute ingredients? What the hell is the point?

Yeah, I was minded to try this idea, but I have absolutely no temptation to find or try EarthBalance™©® butter substitute. I was also highly annoyed by the expression "fast sugar". Get the fark over yourselves, people.

Dickinson herself would have made this stuff with local cow's milk, local wheat flour, local eggs, etc., etc., etc, which would have been a farking sight better for the recipe and the appetite of the recipient of said baked good.

I think zombie Emily Dickinson should be paying Nelly Lambert a visit soon.
 
2011-10-24 10:00:55 PM
heritage loaf (new window)
[pre 9-11 bandwagon patriot edition]
 
2011-10-24 10:01:01 PM
Lies. Why would she bake when Black Sheep's just down the block?
 
2011-10-24 10:02:24 PM
Suppose I rewrote her poems, cut them down to 140 characters, stuck in some product placement and said "These are Emily Dickinson's Tweets updated for the 21st century" so my illiterate friends could read them. They would not be her poetry.

Same thing here. Her recipe is her creation. This piece of gluten-free, dairy-free, sucrose-free, flavor-free crap is not. Shame on the author for passing her own work off as Dickinson's. And shame on NPR for letting her do it.
 
2011-10-24 10:07:59 PM
JNowe: She looks delightful! Why, I'd say that the artist took three hours to finish the shading on her lower lip.

THE LIGER is such a curious creature,
To look it in the face
Its magic may reward us,
Or a disgrace.
 
2011-10-24 10:15:44 PM
Ryker's Peninsula: I mean, the recipe is really just a grocery list of items. There isn't any kind of mixing, cook time, or temperature instructions.

That's pretty standard for recipes of the era. When they did have directions, they assumed you were an experienced cook and thus left out all sorts of information we'd find important now. For example, you're probably wondering whether that butter is cold or melted. It was probably room temperature or melted. Doubtful it'd be cold, it could have been kept on ice, but since we're not making pastry or shortbread, no reason for it to be added cold.

Given the inclusion of cream of tartar, I wonder if the eggs were separated, yolks mixed with the other white ingredients, whites beaten with the cream of tartar, dry ingredients folded into the wet, then whites folded into the batter. If not, it was probably simply a matter of dry ingredients being mixed into wet.

As far as temperature, she was baking this over a fire or on a hearth. Cooks would have, over time, developed a pretty intuitive sense of where to place their items for optimum cooking. But you could probably guess that a 350F oven would be a good temperature, since that's fairly common for cakes. As far as time, I'd start checking at 30 minutes, but the actual baking time is probably closer to 45 to 60 minutes.
 
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