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(Standard Media) Obvious ProTip: When cheating on each other, don't take your lovers to the same place   (standardmedia.co.ke) divider line 79
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14865 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2011 at 10:55 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-10-24 03:32:05 AM
Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!
 
2011-10-24 04:12:29 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!

*shakes tiny fit*
 
2011-10-24 05:02:35 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!

Dammit!

You too subby. I'll have that stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2011-10-24 05:52:32 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!

More like a Penis Colada
 
2011-10-24 10:13:51 AM
Archie Goodwin: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!

Dammit!

You too subby. I'll have that stuck in my head for the rest of the day.


Shakes another tiny fist!
 
2011-10-24 10:58:02 AM
And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.
 
2011-10-24 10:58:37 AM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Awwwww....almost like the Piña Colada song!

Damnit, you ruined my location "dunes of a cape" comment.
 
2011-10-24 10:59:07 AM
tehe....sweet
 
2011-10-24 10:59:26 AM
That read more like the start of a Penthouse letter than a news article.
 
2011-10-24 11:00:34 AM
I see a common solution to this......
 
zez
2011-10-24 11:00:36 AM
Were they drinking pina coladas and walking in the rain?
 
2011-10-24 11:01:20 AM
There's at least a thousand Blues songs about that.
 
2011-10-24 11:01:30 AM
Where can you see peoplecheatoneachotherinthesamehotelandtotallyrunintoeachotherunexpeca tdly!?!?

Only in Kenya!

Only in Kenya, we've got peoplecheatoneachotherinthesamehotelandtotallyrunintoeachotherunexpeca tdly.

Forget Norway!
 
2011-10-24 11:04:32 AM
But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"

Seriously? I call major BS on the whole story. Read like a 12 year old girls first attempt at story telling...
 
2011-10-24 11:04:50 AM
Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled
 
2011-10-24 11:07:15 AM
Mr.Hawk: But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"

Seriously? I call major BS on the whole story. Read like a 12 year old girls first attempt at story telling...


more like an Elder trying to pass on words of "wisdom"
 
2011-10-24 11:07:34 AM
cynical 0, you should have just offered to give them both Oral Services.
 
2011-10-24 11:07:53 AM
Also.. DUH!!!.. FOURSOME TIME !!!
 
2011-10-24 11:08:18 AM
Cynical 0: Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled


captionsearch.com
 
2011-10-24 11:09:53 AM
Cynical 0 2011-10-24 11:04:50 AM

"Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled"

you're a whore
 
2011-10-24 11:11:02 AM
What the hell kind of article is this?
 
2011-10-24 11:11:36 AM
Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: Where can you see peoplecheatoneachotherinthesamehotelandtotallyrunintoeachotherunexpeca tdly!?!?

Only in Kenya!

Only in Kenya, we've got peoplecheatoneachotherinthesamehotelandtotallyrunintoeachotherunexpeca tdly.

Forget Norway!


more like Snoreway!
 
2011-10-24 11:12:41 AM
Just go in for a four-way and call it a day...
 
2011-10-24 11:13:21 AM
"Fish monger"

Whore monger, more like, amirite?
 
2011-10-24 11:13:40 AM
Cynical 0: Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled


www.americantelevisionseries.com
 
2011-10-24 11:14:30 AM
Cynical 0: Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled


Hah! Nice profile. ;P
 
2011-10-24 11:14:58 AM
You shouldn't take them to the same place, that's what TFD is for...
 
2011-10-24 11:27:46 AM
Wait I've seen this movie! They fark, their lovers fark each other, they fark each others lovers, and then for no apparent reason the maid comes in and farks them all.
 
2011-10-24 11:28:58 AM
Mr.Hawk: But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"

Seriously? I call major BS on the whole story. Read like a 12 year old girls first attempt at story telling...


LOL, I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Western Kenya so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.

But seriously, the story could be total BS, but Peter Kamuri is a well-known feature writer for the Standard, so odds are it's not totally made-up. The reason it reads a bit stilted is that English is Peter's third language, after Gikuyu (my guess based on his last name) and Kiswahili. Not only that, but the Standard is written in what we would call "junior high" English out of deference to their typical reader's imperfect command of the language.

And then there's the autobiographical aspect... ;)
 
2011-10-24 11:29:52 AM
Slaves2Darkness: Wait I've seen this movie! They fark, their lovers fark each other, they fark each others lovers, and then for no apparent reason the maid comes in and farks them all.

How the hell did you manage to make it all the way to the part about the maid?
 
2011-10-24 11:37:33 AM
A husband and wife who had been cheating on each other literally caught themselves pants down when they bumped into each at a lodging in the expansive Karagita estate near Naivasha Town.

So the guy took his pants down and went outside to make a call and the woman took her pants down and went outside to answer a call.
 
2011-10-24 11:40:51 AM
organs in mains: A husband and wife who had been cheating on each other literally caught themselves pants down when they bumped into each at a lodging in the expansive Karagita estate near Naivasha Town.

So the guy took his pants down and went outside to make a call and the woman took her pants down and went outside to answer a call.


Literally!
 
2011-10-24 11:42:04 AM
Seen this chick flick.
stinks.
 
2011-10-24 11:42:41 AM
Just because it runs in a Kenyan newspaper does not mean it is true.
 
2011-10-24 11:43:17 AM
kvinesknows: Mr.Hawk: But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"

Seriously? I call major BS on the whole story. Read like a 12 year old girls first attempt at story telling...

more like an Elder trying to pass on words of "wisdom"


THIS!!

/why was this even news. nothing happened.
 
2011-10-24 11:43:22 AM
Cynical 0: Drubell: And certainly make sure you're not cheating with the same person. That adds to the awkwardness.

That happened to a couple I was friends with. And the third person was me. I kind of justified it that I wasn't betraying the other one because they both were doing it. Eventually I told them, together, when I was over their apartment and it went really badly.. I don't know where you get off being pissed about being cheated on when you were ALSO cheating. Eventually, they decided to solve the problem by taking all their anger at each other, and direct it at me. And certainly, I deserved SOME blame, but I wasn't the only one.

/disgruntled


Sounds like a good problem to have.
 
2011-10-24 11:43:44 AM
Shazam999: That read more like the start of a Penthouse letter than a news article.

I was thinking "Lifetime Movie of the Week," starring the usual cast of suspects for Lifetime.
 
2011-10-24 11:44:02 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-10-24 11:45:15 AM
The reason it reads a bit stilted is that English is Peter's third language, after Gikuyu (my guess based on his last name) and Kiswahili.."

Stited? It's classic! It reads like a 19th Century Romance!

I tried again to sleep; but my heart beat anxiously: my inward tranquility was broken. The clock, far down in the hall, struck two. Just then it seemed my chamber door was touched; as if fingers had swept the panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside. I said, "Who is there?" Nothing answered. I was chilled with fear. All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen door chanced to be left open, not infrequently found his way up to the threshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber. I had seen him lying there myself in the mornings. The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down. Silence composes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through the whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber. But it was not fated that I should sleep that night

When it's Charlotte Bronte, people call it classic literature. When it's some newspaper hack from Kenya, people call it "stilted
 
2011-10-24 11:45:28 AM
But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"



Yes, the bile shall rise. Biliously, it shall rise unto the gorge and choke the tongue.

Truphena stood naked in the doorway clutching her phone. Jeckonia, his manhood glistening in the moonlight with the sweet dew of his forbidden lover, heaved his chest and thundered, "Thou art my muk'Du, Truphena. To whom have you given your ng!Kuff!?

But Truphena had bile of her own, and it too had risen to the point of burning her throat. In her shame and outrage she cried, "Jeckonia, didjagetanyonya?"
 
2011-10-24 11:46:37 AM
I was sure the whole thing would erupt in a HOT*HOT*HOT* Afro-Fourway.

I am disappoint.
 
2011-10-24 11:47:02 AM
She was his wife!
 
2011-10-24 11:54:21 AM
No honey, my fingers always smell like that.
I'm a fish monger, remember?
 
2011-10-24 11:57:06 AM
cherryl taggart: Shazam999: That read more like the start of a Penthouse letter than a news article.

I was thinking "Lifetime Movie of the Week," starring the usual cast of suspects for Lifetime.


The wife wasn't a battered, so it wouldn't be on Gripetime. Also, the wife did something wrong (so did the husband), so that's two strikes against it. Third, they didn't have children.
 
2011-10-24 12:00:10 PM
AngryJailhouseFistfark: But slowly, the bile rose and, chest heaving, he thundered, "Truphena, what are you doing here? What is the meaning of this?"



Yes, the bile shall rise. Biliously, it shall rise unto the gorge and choke the tongue.

Truphena stood naked in the doorway clutching her phone. Jeckonia, his manhood glistening in the moonlight with the sweet dew of his forbidden lover, heaved his chest and thundered, "Thou art my muk'Du, Truphena. To whom have you given your ng!Kuff!?

But Truphena had bile of her own, and it too had risen to the point of burning her throat. In her shame and outrage she cried, "Jeckonia, didjagetanyonya?"



You have my interest. Please continue...
 
2011-10-24 12:05:03 PM
vudukungfu: No honey, my fingers always smell like that.
I'm a fish monger, remember?


win
 
2011-10-24 12:13:25 PM
They were naked, like really nude.

/fap fap fap
 
2011-10-24 12:20:45 PM
vudukungfu: No honey, my fingers always smell like that.
I'm a fish monger, remember?

win


winning all day long!!!!!
 
2011-10-24 12:24:01 PM
I'm not much into health food.
 
2011-10-24 12:26:09 PM
Eeek. Been in that same situation. Didn't turn out good. Lots of hurt feelings, irrational behavior, and broken hearts all around.

:(

/learned my lesson
 
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