FARK.com: (6670017) Pope names three saints. Man disrupts mass. Promptly floats off planet

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		Pope names three saints. Man disrupts mass. Promptly floats off planet (news.yahoo.com)		76
		More: Interesting, Greek Police, Sarkozy, Captain Scott, jesus, pope

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76 Comments (+0 »)

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Djkb

2011-10-24 10:29:31 AM

Is this a science joke?

Sybarite

2011-10-24 10:30:49 AM

Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming saints.

TsarTom

2011-10-24 10:37:24 AM

Don't go messing with no pope. Bad juju.

michaeljameshawk.com

terrible juju,

dletter

2011-10-24 01:41:35 PM

And those 3 Saints currently have a 28-3 lead over the Colts.

yogaFLAME

2011-10-24 01:43:42 PM

That's not the secret to flying.

DirkTheDaring

2011-10-24 02:05:30 PM

Lateral thinking puzzle?

cgraves67

2011-10-24 02:06:08 PM

Saint Guido, patron saint of fake tans.

BurnShrike

2011-10-24 02:06:12 PM

So they didn't answer the question? Where is Christ?

He's not in the Vatican, certainly: a city made of gold and jewels.

Sarah Palin's Conscience

2011-10-24 02:08:12 PM

Was there a point to this article?

trappedspirit

2011-10-24 02:08:53 PM

BurnShrike

2011-10-24 02:09:14 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: Was there a point to this article?

No. It's Yahoo. Their only point is to try and make you click a like to their "news article" after you've signed out of your email. They get more advertising hits that way.

/tries to never click the stories

BurnShrike

2011-10-24 02:10:11 PM

trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 640x270]

Why does pointing out the gaping holes in religion (such as dinosaurs) make one an asshole?

Itstoearly

2011-10-24 02:10:13 PM

Sorry, Pope, but the Bible states that anyone who is truly a christian is also a saint. You don't get to chose them.

http://www.gotquestions.org/saints-Christian.html

rev. dave

2011-10-24 02:10:58 PM

I would like to point out that if this had been a different religion, 20 people would be dead throughout the world by now for the burning of the book. Some people are more tolerant of morons than others.

Coelacanth

2011-10-24 02:11:40 PM

"Pope, where is Christ?"

Wouldn't it had been great if the Pope had the man called aside and maybe talked to him?

Very valid question.

pute kisses like a man

2011-10-24 02:12:52 PM

Djkb: Is this a science joke?

I thought it was a joke about the buddha. everyone was sitting around waiting for the buddha, they saved a seat at the table for his arrivale. one day, this fat monk that loved children's games came in and sat in the reserved seat. All the other monks yelled at him and told him to leave, because they were waiting for the real buddha. The fat guy said, you're all doing it wrong, and fly out the window.

because he was the buddha. that's why there are fat buddha statutes. for him. the laughing buddha.

/ all of this might be false. I'm trying to remember what someone who took an eastern religion class told me over 10 years ago. also, the guy who told me this stuff is not very reliable. I have relied on him for comments on fark before, but later been proved devastatingly wrong. I will tell this story as fact if drunk, however.

All_Farked_Up

2011-10-24 02:13:30 PM

Coelacanth: "Pope, where is Christ?"

Wouldn't it had been great if the Pope had the man called aside and maybe talked to him?

Very valid question.

JP2 probably would have.

Herbie555

2011-10-24 02:16:07 PM

I took it as a science joke. Well played.

theknuckler_33

2011-10-24 02:16:28 PM

Monsignor Guido Maria Conforti

snl.jt.org

rwfan

2011-10-24 02:16:39 PM

That guy should have grabbed a koran and headed off to a mosque. Now THAT would have been a story!

trappedspirit

2011-10-24 02:17:37 PM

BurnShrike: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 640x270]

Why does pointing out the gaping holes in religion (such as dinosaurs) make one an asshole?

If you are talking about those emblems, it doesn't. It is the emblem that asshole atheist should use. Wearing a jersey you bought doesn't make you part of the team. But if you are part of the team, you should wear the jersey. Other actions of team members includes burning bibles.

Millennium

2011-10-24 02:18:07 PM

pute kisses like a man: I thought it was a joke about the buddha. everyone was sitting around waiting for the buddha, they saved a seat at the table for his arrivale. one day, this fat monk that loved children's games came in and sat in the reserved seat. All the other monks yelled at him and told him to leave, because they were waiting for the real buddha. The fat guy said, you're all doing it wrong, and fly out the window.

The Buddha loved playing a children's card game?

static0.channels.com

would like to have a word with you

/hot

pwhp_67

2011-10-24 02:18:38 PM

So what?

I can name more than 3 saints and I'm an atheist...

Sarah Palin's Conscience

2011-10-24 02:18:45 PM

BurnShrike: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 640x270]

Why does pointing out the gaping holes in religion (such as dinosaurs) make one an asshole?

There's rational discussion on how the dinosaurs once roamed the Earth, but are now long dead, and comparing the knowledge we have today of their existence to the understandable lack of knowledge the authors of the Bible had when that book was written.

Then, there's taking one of Christianity's more popular symbols and having a T-Rex rape it.

One is a more adult way to approach the topic. The other is a childish approach which only serves to upset and offend, while simultaneously showing off one's ignorance on basic fish and T-Rex anatomy.

theknuckler_33

2011-10-24 02:19:52 PM

RedfordRenegade: It's good that Fr. Guido Sarducci was finally cannonized.

I'll smoke to that.....

grrr

Lone Stranger

2011-10-24 02:21:28 PM

When is Pedobear going to be canonized?

Lone Stranger

2011-10-24 02:23:57 PM

theknuckler_33

2011-10-24 02:24:21 PM

he shouted, "Pope, ~~where~~WHAR is Christ? WHAR"

/meh

trappedspirit

2011-10-24 02:24:40 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: Then, there's taking one of Christianity's more popular symbols and having a T-Rex rape it.

Wait a second, do you rape your food?

mccallcl

2011-10-24 02:25:23 PM

"Benedict and the thousands in the square appeared unfazed by the incident and carried on with the Mass."
i53.tinypic.com

Devil's Playground

2011-10-24 02:25:27 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: Then, there's taking one of Christianity's more popular symbols and having a T-Rex rape it.

It's not raping the fish, it's eating it.

BurnShrike

2011-10-24 02:25:43 PM

Lone Stranger: When is Pedobear going to be canonized?

He won't be. He'll just be shuffled off to a new diocese where no one knows him and he can commit the same crimes all over again.

Sarah Palin's Conscience

2011-10-24 02:26:51 PM

trappedspirit: Sarah Palin's Conscience: Then, there's taking one of Christianity's more popular symbols and having a T-Rex rape it.

Wait a second, do you rape your food?

I have been known to fist a turkey, stuff it with my loaf, then drizzle it with my gravy.

pwhp_67

2011-10-24 02:27:03 PM

BurnShrike: Lone Stranger: When is Pedobear going to be canonized?

He won't be. He'll just be shuffled off to a new diocese where no one knows him and he can commit the same crimes all over again.

And the Pope who protected him, and the rest of the rapists, will be canonized...

KnowEyeInnTeem

2011-10-24 02:28:10 PM

Drew Brees, Darren Sproles, Jimmy Graham. Being Pope is easy.

Sarah Palin's Conscience

2011-10-24 02:28:42 PM

Devil's Playground: Sarah Palin's Conscience: Then, there's taking one of Christianity's more popular symbols and having a T-Rex rape it.

It's not raping the fish, it's eating it.

HAHAHA my bad, I mistook the T-Rex's knee for a penis. I should go put on my glasses.

mccallcl

2011-10-24 02:30:40 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: The other is a childish approach which only serves to upset and offend, while simultaneously showing off one's ignorance on basic fish and T-Rex anatomy.

The "Calvin peeing on the Chevrolet logo" approach, if you will.

mccallcl

2011-10-24 02:33:21 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: HAHAHA my bad, I mistook the T-Rex's knee for a penis. I should go put on my glasses.

Ha ha ha! Holy shiat you think they have decals of a T-Rex basically mouth-raping Christianity?

Sarah Palin's Conscience

2011-10-24 02:35:54 PM

mccallcl: Sarah Palin's Conscience: HAHAHA my bad, I mistook the T-Rex's knee for a penis. I should go put on my glasses.

Ha ha ha! Holy shiat you think they have decals of a T-Rex basically mouth-raping Christianity?

I'm sure one exists somewhere. I like that image better than a T-Rex takin a bite out of a fish.

/both are equally false anyway

All_Farked_Up

2011-10-24 02:36:52 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: mccallcl: Sarah Palin's Conscience: HAHAHA my bad, I mistook the T-Rex's knee for a penis. I should go put on my glasses.

Ha ha ha! Holy shiat you think they have decals of a T-Rex basically mouth-raping Christianity?

I'm sure one exists somewhere. I like that image better than a T-Rex takin a bite out of a fish.

/both are equally false anyway

Rule 34

HAMMERTOE

2011-10-24 02:40:41 PM

Sarah Palin's Conscience: One is a more adult way to approach the topic. The other is a childish approach which only serves to upset and offend, while simultaneously showing off one's ignorance on basic fish and T-Rex anatomy.

You know, because christianity is so big on the study of anatomy. And astronomy. And paleontology. And...

You know, given how little they care about the way they offend with their archaic beliefs and insistence that the governing of the whole country be centered around their fairy tale, I'm not concerned with offending them in the slightest.

SuddenlySamhain

2011-10-24 02:43:17 PM

St. Helen the Hysterical whose first miracle was screaming so shrilly that it interuppted the mating cycle of the German Roach thus ending the terrible post war insect plauge on Berlin. WOOOOOOOO

St. lazlo the Card Counter who double downed on a pair of duces in a Morroccan Casino and walked away with over 50 bucks!

and Brother Sebastion who successfully operated a steak house

the three magi had nothing on these great beasts of faith

DempseySR26

2011-10-24 02:44:16 PM

What was his fark handle?

gojirast

2011-10-24 02:47:28 PM

HAMMERTOE: Sarah Palin's Conscience: One is a more adult way to approach the topic. The other is a childish approach which only serves to upset and offend, while simultaneously showing off one's ignorance on basic fish and T-Rex anatomy.

You know, because christianity is so big on the study of anatomy. And astronomy. And paleontology. And...

You know, given how little they care about the way they offend with their archaic beliefs and insistence that the governing of the whole country be centered around their fairy tale, I'm not concerned with offending them in the slightest.

Agreed. A baptist minister in the town that I foolishly bought a house in just managed to get a measure passed calling for prayer at City Commision meetings... on which he happens to sit. So he gets to promote his particular flavor of invisible sky fairy worship (and supposedly anyone else can take a turn, bet that shiat won't happen).

They don't worry about offending me by spending my tax money on something they should do on Sunday's at that bible thumper's place of business, so I don't give a flying fark how I offend them.

/might get a few thousand stickers printed of the T-Rex mouthraping a jesus-fish to apply randomly around town just for teh lulz.

wildcardjack

2011-10-24 02:50:12 PM

pwhp_67

2011-10-24 02:50:41 PM

fromskytonothing

2011-10-24 03:00:06 PM

trappedspirit

2011-10-24 03:01:22 PM

gojirast: Agreed. A baptist minister in the town that I foolishly bought a house in just managed to get a measure passed calling for prayer at City Commision meetings... on which he happens to sit. So he gets to promote his particular flavor of invisible sky fairy worship (and supposedly anyone else can take a turn, bet that shiat won't happen).

You should try it. Run for City Council and get elected. Then claim to be a practicing Muslim and suggest a prayer for Allah be added to the opening rituals. You might be surprised by the tolerance. Of course, if any farker ever got into government to try and make changes for the better rather than just mouth off in threads I would be flarking shocked.

joonyer

2011-10-24 03:02:18 PM

trappedspirit: BurnShrike: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 640x270]

Why does pointing out the gaping holes in religion (such as dinosaurs) make one an asshole?

If you are talking about those emblems, it doesn't. It is the emblem that asshole atheist should use. Wearing a jersey you bought doesn't make you part of the team. But if you are part of the team, you should wear the jersey. Other actions of team members includes burning bibles.

Good.

How strong is your faith if you're butthurt by what others think of it?

HAMMERTOE

2011-10-24 03:05:07 PM

gojirast: Agreed. A baptist minister in the town that I foolishly bought a house in just managed to get a measure passed calling for prayer at City Commision meetings... on which he happens to sit. So he gets to promote his particular flavor of invisible sky fairy worship (and supposedly anyone else can take a turn, bet that shiat won't happen).

Two possible avenues to take with this one.
1) Unconstitutional- "Separation of Church & State."

2) Go exercise your right to equal time. Pray to FSM, loudly and animatedly. (new window).

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