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(Engadget)   Ever wanted to turn your whole rear window into an illuminated, animated display of your passive-aggressiveness while driving? Now you can   (engadget.com) divider line 302
    More: Amusing, aggressive behaviour, manners, microcontrollers, reveal  
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41808 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2011 at 5:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-10-24 08:20:06 AM
Mr. Smith: I move my finger one inch to use my turn signal. Why are these assholes so lazy they can't move their finger one farking measly inch to drive more safely? You wanna know why?
DQ: Not particularly.
Mr. Smith: Because these rich bastards have to be callous and inconsiderate in the first place to make all that money, so when they get on the road, they can't help themselves. They've gotta be callous and inconsiderate drivers too. It's in their nature.
 
2011-10-24 08:21:50 AM

Happy Hours: impaler: LeglessDog: The problem with your idea is that you're assuming everyone will adopt your adorably-named merge technique and cooperate--which will never happen, because we're humans.

The problem with your assumption is that you're assuming he's assuming. He's not. There were studies done on the zipper merge, so it was empirically measured to work. That's not an assumption. And it has been put in place by the MNDOT - and it works. It works really well too. Work on I-35 used to back up for miles, now there is hardly any line.

But hey, you think it won't work, even though it does.

That's the part I have trouble believing - how the hell did they make people actually use common sense?


The signs explicitly tell drivers to use both lanes until the merge point.
 
2011-10-24 08:23:55 AM

dready zim: sammyk: Then ask yourself "Am I just being a jerk because I have a small penis?" The answer will always be YES.

[southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com image 480x360]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 557x478]
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 200x241]


I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.
 
2011-10-24 08:24:28 AM

CasperImproved: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

Do you have some facts that illuminate your retardedness? I sincerely doubt you can find "studies" that show being an a$$hole saves traffic time.

If you are trolling? 1/10, if you are serious? I hope someone punches you in the face.


It's really just farking common sense.

It's too bad that's not required to get a license.
 
2011-10-24 08:25:02 AM
Threads like this make me happy I take the train to work. Yes, the Métro has its own various breeds of assholes, but at least I can do the crosswords.
 
2011-10-24 08:27:09 AM

Happy Hours: CasperImproved: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

Do you have some facts that illuminate your retardedness? I sincerely doubt you can find "studies" that show being an a$$hole saves traffic time.

If you are trolling? 1/10, if you are serious? I hope someone punches you in the face.

It's really just farking common sense.

It's too bad that's not required to get a license.


2/10
 
2011-10-24 08:27:48 AM
FTFA: "Typically, road rage responses range from a flip of the bird to some gentle highway drag racing."

Really? Damn! I need to tone it down a bit and stop shooting people. My bad, sorry everyone.
 
2011-10-24 08:29:44 AM

This Looks Fun: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

This, very sadly, is true.


Oh no, we did this yesterday in a thread about road rage.
Monday morning. Good timing subs.
 
2011-10-24 08:29:59 AM

CasperImproved: I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.


I prefer not to have cred from randoms on the internet. Being right is enough for me.
 
2011-10-24 08:30:07 AM

impaler: Happy Hours: impaler: LeglessDog: The problem with your idea is that you're assuming everyone will adopt your adorably-named merge technique and cooperate--which will never happen, because we're humans.

The problem with your assumption is that you're assuming he's assuming. He's not. There were studies done on the zipper merge, so it was empirically measured to work. That's not an assumption. And it has been put in place by the MNDOT - and it works. It works really well too. Work on I-35 used to back up for miles, now there is hardly any line.

But hey, you think it won't work, even though it does.

That's the part I have trouble believing - how the hell did they make people actually use common sense?

The signs explicitly tell drivers to use both lanes until the merge point.


And that works?

Wow - It's kind of rare for people to read signs in other parts of the country
 
2011-10-24 08:30:39 AM

LeglessDog: SurfaceTension: DeathByGeekSquad: I'm also one of those people who will straddle the merging lane in bumper-to-bumper traffic to prevent idiots from trying to sneak past everyone else, then slowing down the entire flow of traffic because they try to squeeze in at the last possible second. If you try to squeeze, I ride the bumper of the person in front of me so you can't get in.

Soracloud: There needs to be more of this on the road. I hate seeing someone blatantly sneaking around cones and on the shoulder and the guy in front of you just waves him on in.

The zipper merge. Use it. Learn to love it. It's the most efficient way of managing traffic flow in heavy traffic.

Zipper merge (new window)

MNDOT puts up signs telling people to merge like a zipper. (new window)

News report on why we should merge like a zipper. (new window)

So stop being a dick and start driving the most efficient way.


The problem with your idea is that you're assuming everyone will adopt your adorably-named merge technique and cooperate--which will never happen, because we're humans. There's always a "merger" who will floor it and move as far up the disappearing lane and squeeze in at high speed, forcing everyone to slam on their brakes: and there's always the person who won't go with the every-other-car idea and insist they are more important than the next person (like the a-hole flying to the front).

There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of the situation to keep traffic moving--but when people do it at high speed and with an obvious desire to get in front of as MANY people as possible (regardless of the lack of practicality involved), that's when people slam on their brakes and wrecks happen.


Usually, people like that are intent on moving traffic faster. Is there some sort of problem with explaining the dynamics of how the zipper works and how it can make traffic move along better when highly congested? If they don't get it or pretend like that isn't true, there's nothing you can do about it. I'm in the camp that if you explain something to most people in terms they can understand, they'll stop.
 
2011-10-24 08:32:16 AM

MurphyMurphy:

I like cutting people like you off.

You try to ride the bumper of the guy in front of you out of some pathetic need to control the world around you.

..... and then here comes my car, still merging, still merging.

For a moment you think
[weknowmemes.com image 400x292]
"I'm standing my ground, this guy isn't getting in here"

Then I look at you in the eyes with that look that says
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
"here I come, hope you like a farked up bumper"

And you look back. Half with fear, half with diminished determination. I can see how bad you don't want me to yield, but I also see the part that says "I like this car and I dont want this guy to fark it up"

OMG HERE I COME
[weknowmemes.com image 426x267]
YOU SEE IT! I"M NOT STOPPING

you spend your whole life yielding, that's why stopping me from merging is so important to you. In your little world, you think "finally! I'm not yielding! THIS IS MY STAND!"

and you yield....
[weknowmemes.com image 281x236]
You always yield,

And down the road I go.
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
And I wasn't even in a hurry to begin with.



I've never had someone like you make me hit them before they tap the breaks and let one more car in the infinite shiatstream of interstate traffic in front of them.

Sure, you'll tell everyone on the internet how awesomely you control traffic and make others abide by your take on the rules of the road

but you and me?
We both know the truth,

You'll yield. ;-)

/I really need one of these things for my back window. I always regretted not getting one more jab in on the guy I just cut off
//yeah maybe I'm an asshole, but that's half the fun of driving!


You may be an asshole, but you're a funny asshole.
 
2011-10-24 08:32:20 AM

criscodisco: I'd love one just to display "Turn ofF your brights, dickhole."


FTFY, dorkwad. Now get the fark out of left lane.
 
2011-10-24 08:32:52 AM
I've been wanting one of these for as long as I've been driving.
 
2011-10-24 08:33:03 AM

dready zim: SurfaceTension: sammyk: Here in NC your dickery has been recognized. You are obligated to HELP other drivers pass if they indicte they would like to. That means get your slow ass in the right lane as soon as you can safely do it. Now if we could only get that shiat enforced.

OK, I drive through NC pretty regularly, and what I've seen it seems like the car doing the passing slows down while going past the vehicle he's passing. So the car in the left might be doing 66mph while the car in the right lane is doing 63. Is it just my imagination or does that happen a lot in that state? (I notice it less on I-95 than on I-40, presumably because I-95 carries a lot more inter-state traffic than I-40 does.)

This happens in the UK as well. I think people think that the more time they spend alongside another vehicle the safer it is, which is contradicted by reality.


Maybe it just seems like that, maybe the guy in the middle lane sees he's being overtaken and instinctively puts his foot down, which from your vantage point looks like an equalisation of speed and slowing down by the overtaking car.
 
2011-10-24 08:33:06 AM

Moonk: This Looks Fun: padraig: Considering one of the the last time I made the "don't tailgate me" sign to a guy resulted in the culprit flying into a fit of rage, overtake me and them slamming his brake, almost sending me into a ditch tractor trailor, I'd rather not do that kind of thing.
Sometimes, you are better off not escalating incidents.

QFT, FTFMy version.

/Don't be stupid, kids.

After two speeding tickets and being within 1 point of loosing my license, i now practice zen driving. I pass cars, cars pass me, it does not matter.


/Zen driver fistbump!

People need to calm the fark down!
 
2011-10-24 08:33:36 AM
The best 'signal' I ever had on the road, was a crappy rusty paint job on an old, massive 79 Chevy Caprice. It had an awesome engine, so I could accelerate however I wanted, and it handled very well for its size. I'm a good driver too, and share the road well, but you know, not everybody plays well with others out there. That crappy paint.. rust everywhere... one door a different color than the rest of the car... that was my defense, and offense.... it shouted out loud: "Get out of my way or get off my tail or otherwise leave me alone because I have nothing to lose... "

If someone tailgated, tried to push in on my lane, attempted to not let me merge at an on/off ramp, or otherwise acted towards me aggressively and stupid ... all I had to do is wobble my steering wheel a little and that big ol' ugly land barge would shudder and lurch in a truly terrifying manner ... and all of the road around me, 360 degrees, would instantly and magically clear...

I eventually got a new car... with a working heater and defroster(!)... and I really liked it. But the road suddenly became a much more crowded place. (&people started parking closer to me too for some reason, altho, I admit, it was nice to not have the landlord hide my car behind plowed snow every winter... )
 
2011-10-24 08:35:41 AM
I just set the cruise control at 55 and stay in the right lane.

Saves gas and there isn't anyone in front of me or behind me, most of the time.
 
2011-10-24 08:35:48 AM

RevBigfoot: A long time ago I had this grand idea of mounting one of those scrolling LED signs in my back window and programming it with things like "turn off your brights" or "get off my ass" but after talking to a local cop realized I would get ticketed for it so gave up on the idea. Still seems worth it though. Now I have to settle for randomly brake checking the person behind me.


You could try obeying the law and getting the fark out of the way.

.
 
2011-10-24 08:36:42 AM

SurfaceTension: sammyk: Here in NC your dickery has been recognized. You are obligated to HELP other drivers pass if they indicte they would like to. That means get your slow ass in the right lane as soon as you can safely do it. Now if we could only get that shiat enforced.

OK, I drive through NC pretty regularly, and what I've seen it seems like the car doing the passing slows down while going past the vehicle he's passing. So the car in the left might be doing 66mph while the car in the right lane is doing 63. Is it just my imagination or does that happen a lot in that state? (I notice it less on I-95 than on I-40, presumably because I-95 carries a lot more inter-state traffic than I-40 does.)


Yes and no. I do see a lot of that especially passing big rigs. It's moronic to stay next to a big rig any longer than you have to. Don't get me started on the knuckle draggers that pace big rigs in the blind spot so they can keep anyone from passing. Part of the problem is the drivers manual itself. It spends a lot of time discussing the added danger of two cars with a high difference in the rate of speed. While that is perfectly valid in the context of merging its not as much of a risk in the context of passing on the left.

But yes we have some terrible drivers. I have said it for years. The typical drivers test is geared towards secondary roads. I wish we as a country would add a interstate endorsement like we do with motor cycles. The rules change at 75MPH pure and simple. Intentionally slowing traffic on the interstate simply makes it much much more dangerous for everyone.
 
2011-10-24 08:38:57 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I just set the cruise control at 55 and stay in the right lane.

Saves gas and there isn't anyone in front of me or behind me, most of the time.


I should say I did do this, when I was in Seattle over the summer.

Here in Tokyo, there's no real place to put the cruise control on for any reasonable length of time until you get out of the metro area, which I hardly ever do.
 
2011-10-24 08:42:38 AM

MurphyMurphy: DeathByGeekSquad: Moonk: This Looks Fun: padraig: Considering one of the the last time I made the "don't tailgate me" sign to a guy resulted in the culprit flying into a fit of rage, overtake me and them slamming his brake, almost sending me into a ditch tractor trailor, I'd rather not do that kind of thing.
Sometimes, you are better off not escalating incidents.

QFT, FTFMy version.

/Don't be stupid, kids.

After two speeding tickets and being within 1 point of loosing my license, i now practice zen driving. I pass cars, cars pass me, it does not matter.

I practice 'get the fark away from everyone else' driving. I don't trust a single person on the road.

I'm also one of those people who will straddle the merging lane in bumper-to-bumper traffic to prevent idiots from trying to sneak past everyone else, then slowing down the entire flow of traffic because they try to squeeze in at the last possible second. If you try to squeeze, I ride the bumper of the person in front of me so you can't get in.

Those merge signs are spaced to give you plenty of time to get over, not to wait until you're literally forced into the other lane, jackasses.

CSB

Jackass in an M3 was swerving in and out of traffic while on his phone. He cuts me off, then gets stuck in gridlock. I get stuck right next to him.

Apparently jackasses in an M3 who are chatting on the phone, will hide their face when you blast Death Metal. Literally, he hid his face from my view with his hand, like a child.

I like cutting people like you off.

You try to ride the bumper of the guy in front of you out of some pathetic need to control the world around you.

..... and then here comes my car, still merging, still merging.

For a moment you think
[weknowmemes.com image 400x292]
"I'm standing my ground, this guy isn't getting in here"

Then I look at you in the eyes with that look that says
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
"here I come, hope you like a farked up bumper"

And you look back. Half with fear, half with diminished determination. I can see how bad you don't want me to yield, but I also see the part that says "I like this car and I dont want this guy to fark it up"

OMG HERE I COME
[weknowmemes.com image 426x267]
YOU SEE IT! I"M NOT STOPPING

you spend your whole life yielding, that's why stopping me from merging is so important to you. In your little world, you think "finally! I'm not yielding! THIS IS MY STAND!"

and you yield....
[weknowmemes.com image 281x236]
You always yield,

And down the road I go.
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
And I wasn't even in a hurry to begin with.



I've never had someone like you make me hit them before they tap the breaks and let one more car in the infinite shiatstream of interstate traffic in front of them.

Sure, you'll tell everyone on the internet how awesomely you control traffic and make others abide by your take on the rules of the road

but you and me?
We both know the truth,

You'll yield. ;-)

/I really need one of these things for my back window. I always regretted not getting one more jab in on the guy I just cut off
//yeah maybe I'm an asshole, but that's half the fun of driving!


Except you're a 4channer, which makes you a failure, and I have right of way, which means you'd be liable for any damage.
 
2011-10-24 08:42:46 AM
 
2011-10-24 08:42:57 AM

Soracloud: DeathByGeekSquad:

I'm also one of those people who will straddle the merging lane in bumper-to-bumper traffic to prevent idiots from trying to sneak past everyone else, then slowing down the entire flow of traffic because they try to squeeze in at the last possible second. If you try to squeeze, I ride the bumper of the person in front of me so you can't get in.


There needs to be more of this on the road. I hate seeing someone blatantly sneaking around cones and on the shoulder and the guy in front of you just waves him on in.


He didn't say anything about sneaking around cones, he talked about straddling the merging lane. It is there for merging like a zipper when traffic is slow or stopped.
He is one of the me first asshole types that blocks the road form every one behind him, and causes way more porblems than he thinks he solves.
 
2011-10-24 08:43:05 AM

DistendedPendulusFrenulum: RevBigfoot: A long time ago I had this grand idea of mounting one of those scrolling LED signs in my back window and programming it with things like "turn off your brights" or "get off my ass" but after talking to a local cop realized I would get ticketed for it so gave up on the idea. Still seems worth it though. Now I have to settle for randomly brake checking the person behind me.

You could try obeying the law and getting the fark out of the way.

.


There is a special level of hell reserved for douchebags who think that brake-checking is anything other than the dangerous result of a weak mind.
 
2011-10-24 08:43:34 AM

Slaxl: dready zim: SurfaceTension: sammyk: Here in NC your dickery has been recognized. You are obligated to HELP other drivers pass if they indicte they would like to. That means get your slow ass in the right lane as soon as you can safely do it. Now if we could only get that shiat enforced.

OK, I drive through NC pretty regularly, and what I've seen it seems like the car doing the passing slows down while going past the vehicle he's passing. So the car in the left might be doing 66mph while the car in the right lane is doing 63. Is it just my imagination or does that happen a lot in that state? (I notice it less on I-95 than on I-40, presumably because I-95 carries a lot more inter-state traffic than I-40 does.)

This happens in the UK as well. I think people think that the more time they spend alongside another vehicle the safer it is, which is contradicted by reality.

Maybe it just seems like that, maybe the guy in the middle lane sees he's being overtaken and instinctively puts his foot down, which from your vantage point looks like an equalisation of speed and slowing down by the overtaking car.


I hadn't thought of that but you are dead on right about that. The middle lane slow pokes are a bad problem too. They just sit there getting passed on both sides with a big rig right trying to park in the back seat. Its like a giant boulder in the middle of the stream backing everything up behind it.
 
2011-10-24 08:44:00 AM

Uncle Wiggly: No. I am not a 17-year old Asian boy whose 15-year old sister is surpassing me in every way possible.


Not what I heard.
 
2011-10-24 08:44:35 AM

CasperImproved: Happy Hours: CasperImproved: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

Do you have some facts that illuminate your retardedness? I sincerely doubt you can find "studies" that show being an a$$hole saves traffic time.

If you are trolling? 1/10, if you are serious? I hope someone punches you in the face.

It's really just farking common sense.

It's too bad that's not required to get a license.

2/10


google zipper merge studies.

Do you have any facts that having everyone scramble out of a lane that will end soon is more efficient or safer?

Of course you don't.
 
2011-10-24 08:45:31 AM

dready zim: CasperImproved: I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.

I prefer not to have cred from randoms on the internet. Being right is enough for me.


The fact you draw from obnoxious sources to back your pointy of view speaks volumes.

And no, pictures do not back your point of view.

Being right?

Whoever said that?
 
2011-10-24 08:47:20 AM
This thing is illegal in every state in the Union.

crab66: There is no way that would be legal in the USA.


It's not...
 
2011-10-24 08:47:46 AM

untaken_name: grahambhg: Can I get one that says "BACK OFF! I'm already over the speedlimit!!"?

I wouldn't mind one that says "I don't have any obligation to assist you in breaking the law." I would use it mostly for people that flash their lights at me over and over just because I want to drive the speed limit in the left lane. You want to speed? Cool. Go for it. But don't expect me to go out of my way to help you, any more than I'd help you carry bags of money to your car from the bank you just robbed.


You might want to check the law in your state, because in a lot of states slower traffic, even if they are going the speed limit, are required by law to move to the right and stay out of the left hand lane. I don't know what the law is in your state, but it could be you who is braking it.
 
2011-10-24 08:48:14 AM

Happy Hours: CasperImproved: Happy Hours: CasperImproved: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

Do you have some facts that illuminate your retardedness? I sincerely doubt you can find "studies" that show being an a$$hole saves traffic time.

If you are trolling? 1/10, if you are serious? I hope someone punches you in the face.

It's really just farking common sense.

It's too bad that's not required to get a license.

2/10

google zipper merge studies.

Do you have any facts that having everyone scramble out of a lane that will end soon is more efficient or safer?

Of course you don't.


I would try and make a point, but obviously you are clueless.

Merge early, and with consideration for others. That is the rule. To do otherwise proves you are a witless tool that nobody would want to love.
 
2011-10-24 08:50:28 AM

CasperImproved: I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.


How about this one?
home.mchsi.com
This better?
 
2011-10-24 08:50:47 AM

CasperImproved: Merge early, and with consideration for others. That is the rule.


That's not what the sign says

t2.gstatic.com
 
2011-10-24 08:55:51 AM

RevBigfoot: A long time ago I had this grand idea of mounting one of those scrolling LED signs in my back window and programming it with things like "turn off your brights" or "get off my ass" but after talking to a local cop realized I would get ticketed for it so gave up on the idea. Still seems worth it though. Now I have to settle for randomly brake checking the person behind me.


I had the very same idea. Your jib's cut is appealing to me.
 
2011-10-24 08:59:09 AM

Gaylord Fister: LED sign? Meh. Better mount a couple of old camera flashes in it, like a dozen, pointed out the back, triggered by a button. Then, if some asshole is tailgating you, ZAP! Instant blindness, for a few seconds at least.

Of course, this works best at night. Just make sure you close your eyes for a moment while you push the button.


Heh...a friend put some old Cesna landing lights on the back of his 4 x 4 - when someone got too close, a quick flick of the switch made them back off (POOF!)
 
2011-10-24 08:59:40 AM

This Looks Fun: Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.

This, very sadly, is true.


That is why that lane is THERE and hasn't ended yet. You are SUPPOSED to use it to the very end and then alternate. How do ALL people not know this?
 
2011-10-24 09:00:38 AM

MurphyMurphy: DeathByGeekSquad: Moonk: This Looks Fun: padraig: Considering one of the the last time I made the "don't tailgate me" sign to a guy resulted in the culprit flying into a fit of rage, overtake me and them slamming his brake, almost sending me into a ditch tractor trailor, I'd rather not do that kind of thing.
Sometimes, you are better off not escalating incidents.

QFT, FTFMy version.

/Don't be stupid, kids.

After two speeding tickets and being within 1 point of loosing my license, i now practice zen driving. I pass cars, cars pass me, it does not matter.

I practice 'get the fark away from everyone else' driving. I don't trust a single person on the road.

I'm also one of those people who will straddle the merging lane in bumper-to-bumper traffic to prevent idiots from trying to sneak past everyone else, then slowing down the entire flow of traffic because they try to squeeze in at the last possible second. If you try to squeeze, I ride the bumper of the person in front of me so you can't get in.

Those merge signs are spaced to give you plenty of time to get over, not to wait until you're literally forced into the other lane, jackasses.

CSB

Jackass in an M3 was swerving in and out of traffic while on his phone. He cuts me off, then gets stuck in gridlock. I get stuck right next to him.

Apparently jackasses in an M3 who are chatting on the phone, will hide their face when you blast Death Metal. Literally, he hid his face from my view with his hand, like a child.

I like cutting people like you off.

You try to ride the bumper of the guy in front of you out of some pathetic need to control the world around you.

..... and then here comes my car, still merging, still merging.

For a moment you think
[weknowmemes.com image 400x292]
"I'm standing my ground, this guy isn't getting in here"

Then I look at you in the eyes with that look that says
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
"here I come, hope you like a farked up bumper"

And you look back. Half with fear, half with diminished determination. I can see how bad you don't want me to yield, but I also see the part that says "I like this car and I dont want this guy to fark it up"

OMG HERE I COME
[weknowmemes.com image 426x267]
YOU SEE IT! I"M NOT STOPPING

you spend your whole life yielding, that's why stopping me from merging is so important to you. In your little world, you think "finally! I'm not yielding! THIS IS MY STAND!"

and you yield....
[weknowmemes.com image 281x236]
You always yield,

And down the road I go.
[weknowmemes.com image 150x150]
And I wasn't even in a hurry to begin with.



I've never had someone like you make me hit them before they tap the breaks and let one more car in the infinite shiatstream of interstate traffic in front of them.

Sure, you'll tell everyone on the internet how awesomely you control traffic and make others abide by your take on the rules of the road

but you and me?
We both know the truth,

You'll yield. ;-)

/I really need one of these things for my back window. I always regretted not getting one more jab in on the guy I just cut off
//yeah maybe I'm an asshole, but that's half the fun of driving!


Depends. If you got a nicer car than me I'll let you slam right into me. Might even prep myself for the inevitable whiplash lawsuit.

I used to drive a bucket and would always drive like you. Now that i got a nicer car Ill let someone with a rusted out buick in. But some deusch driving around in his BMWer or Benz, well there are consequences to driving a car like that and not being able to merge into traffic is one of em. If im feeling humorous I might even guide them into the water barrells
 
2011-10-24 09:01:58 AM

Slaves2Darkness: untaken_name: grahambhg: Can I get one that says "BACK OFF! I'm already over the speedlimit!!"?

I wouldn't mind one that says "I don't have any obligation to assist you in breaking the law." I would use it mostly for people that flash their lights at me over and over just because I want to drive the speed limit in the left lane. You want to speed? Cool. Go for it. But don't expect me to go out of my way to help you, any more than I'd help you carry bags of money to your car from the bank you just robbed.

You might want to check the law in your state, because in a lot of states slower traffic, even if they are going the speed limit, are required by law to move to the right and stay out of the left hand lane. I don't know what the law is in your state, but it could be you who is braking it.


Driving illegally is OK as long as he's doing it.
 
2011-10-24 09:02:07 AM

sammyk: Slaxl: dready zim: SurfaceTension: sammyk: Here in NC your dickery has been recognized. You are obligated to HELP other drivers pass if they indicte they would like to. That means get your slow ass in the right lane as soon as you can safely do it. Now if we could only get that shiat enforced.

OK, I drive through NC pretty regularly, and what I've seen it seems like the car doing the passing slows down while going past the vehicle he's passing. So the car in the left might be doing 66mph while the car in the right lane is doing 63. Is it just my imagination or does that happen a lot in that state? (I notice it less on I-95 than on I-40, presumably because I-95 carries a lot more inter-state traffic than I-40 does.)

This happens in the UK as well. I think people think that the more time they spend alongside another vehicle the safer it is, which is contradicted by reality.

Maybe it just seems like that, maybe the guy in the middle lane sees he's being overtaken and instinctively puts his foot down, which from your vantage point looks like an equalisation of speed and slowing down by the overtaking car.

I hadn't thought of that but you are dead on right about that. The middle lane slow pokes are a bad problem too. They just sit there getting passed on both sides with a big rig right trying to park in the back seat. Its like a giant boulder in the middle of the stream backing everything up behind it.


I completely agree about middle lane hoggers. About the drivers slowing down to overtake, the way I know is by following them and having to slow down to avoid hitting them...

CasperImproved: dready zim: CasperImproved: I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.

I prefer not to have cred from randoms on the internet. Being right is enough for me.

The fact you draw from obnoxious sources to back your pointy of view speaks volumes.

And no, pictures do not back your point of view.

Being right?

Whoever said that?


I said that. Being right is my validation. Pictures do not back my point of view. Reality does that.

The fact you find rice obnoxious is just a bonus.

i201.photobucket.com
a1.l3-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2011-10-24 09:02:20 AM

Klivian: For the merge blockers out there who says that late mergers slow things down, traffic studies show that things are actually faster when everyone uses both lanes until the very end, and then everyone merges one for one.

So no, THEY are not slowing things down, YOU are. You blocking that one guy to save yourself 10 seconds is going to cost someone a hundred cars back a couple minutes.


you are the problem.

the reason that extended mergers slow things down is that people don't zipper merge at the end, people in the lane that is ending merge wherever they can over a large area near the end, not just at the very end, and as a result their lane moves faster.

It's not 1 for 1, it's 1 in the lane that isn't ending for 1-2 in the lane that is, as people who have merged over sometimes also allow others to merge over in front of them.

Basically, if you hop in the lane that is ending, you will go faster because roads in the US aren't set up for zipper merges, like roads in much of Europe are.


And no, I'm not the passive aggressive guy who tries to block people from merging, I'm the pragmatic who moves a lane away from the whole mess and, while not getting to 'go fastest' at least avoids the whole poorly designed thing.
 
2011-10-24 09:05:27 AM

dready zim: sammyk: Slaxl: dready zim: SurfaceTension: sammyk: Here in NC your dickery has been recognized. You are obligated to HELP other drivers pass if they indicte they would like to. That means get your slow ass in the right lane as soon as you can safely do it. Now if we could only get that shiat enforced.

OK, I drive through NC pretty regularly, and what I've seen it seems like the car doing the passing slows down while going past the vehicle he's passing. So the car in the left might be doing 66mph while the car in the right lane is doing 63. Is it just my imagination or does that happen a lot in that state? (I notice it less on I-95 than on I-40, presumably because I-95 carries a lot more inter-state traffic than I-40 does.)

This happens in the UK as well. I think people think that the more time they spend alongside another vehicle the safer it is, which is contradicted by reality.

Maybe it just seems like that, maybe the guy in the middle lane sees he's being overtaken and instinctively puts his foot down, which from your vantage point looks like an equalisation of speed and slowing down by the overtaking car.

I hadn't thought of that but you are dead on right about that. The middle lane slow pokes are a bad problem too. They just sit there getting passed on both sides with a big rig right trying to park in the back seat. Its like a giant boulder in the middle of the stream backing everything up behind it.

I completely agree about middle lane hoggers. About the drivers slowing down to overtake, the way I know is by following them and having to slow down to avoid hitting them...

CasperImproved: dready zim: CasperImproved: I would have something to say to you, but once you brought the "Condi says small" pic, you lost all cred.

I prefer not to have cred from randoms on the internet. Being right is enough for me.

The fact you draw from obnoxious sources to back your pointy of view speaks volumes.

And no, pictures do not back your point of view.

Being right?

Whoever said that?

I said that. Being right is my validation. Pictures do not back my point of view. Reality does that.

The fact you find rice obnoxious is just a bonus.

[i201.photobucket.com image 570x713]
[a1.l3-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x173]


I hope you have a support system outside of FARK.

Obviously your thought process is compromised.
 
2011-10-24 09:06:21 AM

Therion: I'm thinking more on how to turn my whole rear window into an illuminated, animated display of my homicidal mania while driving.


This. And I thought of it years ago, I'm sad I didn't have the skills to bring it to life.
 
2011-10-24 09:08:36 AM

impaler: CasperImproved: Merge early, and with consideration for others. That is the rule.

That's not what the sign says

[t2.gstatic.com image 259x194]


Do you personally follow obnoxious signs? Or do you follow the golden rule?

I'm guessing with your reference to the sign, that you are a write-off.
 
2011-10-24 09:09:07 AM

doglover: criscodisco: I'd love one just to display "Turn of your brights, dickhole."

I'd really just rather have a mirror on a string.

You wanna turn on your fog lights and tailgate me? Taste your own medicine!


That's why I mount polished stainless steel sheet metal behind the license plate as a frame.
 
2011-10-24 09:09:43 AM
I have a "zipper" merge near me that I use somewhat frequently. There's always some tractor trailer or some douche in a big work truck trying to block both lanes way before the merge point. I love zipping around these guys in my coupe and then doing the same thing to them. Or sometimes I'll get in front of them and then motion in every single person who wants to merge or get on the road in front of me while they fume and lay on the horn.

I've called many a trucking company on truckers who block both lanes. Why would you drive like that when your truck has a "HOW AM I DRIVING?, call 1-800 . . . . " on your truck?

My favorite incident was one time a guy in a work truck was blocking both lanes. So I easily zipped by him. So he gets into the second lane right next to me rolling down his window yelling at me. Well, soon his lane ends and he's driving in the median basically. He's yelling at me how I'm driving illegal, etc. I looked at him and said "you're doing exactly what you're yelling at me about, you're driving illegally, not in a lane, in the middle of the road".

People are basically idiots behind the wheel. Get out of the way if someone wants to go faster, and drive as fast as you feel is necessary based on the rewards and the risks of getting caught.

"use both lanes to merge point"
 
2011-10-24 09:10:37 AM

criscodisco: I'd love one just to display "Turn of your brights, dickhole."


Knew a guy who had a KC Daylighter mounted backwards on his truck for just that reason. Probably illegal, but very effective.
 
2011-10-24 09:14:07 AM

CasperImproved: impaler: CasperImproved: Merge early, and with consideration for others. That is the rule.

That's not what the sign says

[t2.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Do you personally follow obnoxious signs? Or do you follow the golden rule?

I'm guessing with your reference to the sign, that you are a write-off.


That is not the rule anywhere on the planet. That lane is there for a reason. The RULE is for drivers to use that lane to the end, then to alternate with the lane they are merging with. The traffic flows better when that lane is used fully and properly.

Only a-a-a-a-a-assholes dont let people merge. There is nothing more comical than some bitter little dude who is going WIN by NOT letting someone in front of him in traffic. Loser.
 
2011-10-24 09:14:51 AM

Mustakraken: the whole poorly designed thing


You must live in the DC area. *checks profile* Yep, how'd I guess that? At least you aren't in northern Virginia like me, where not only are the roads poorly designed, the directional signs appear to have been placed only for those of us who know where we're already going.
 
2011-10-24 09:19:03 AM
You people have way too much time on your hands. If I encounter an a-hole driver, I think "Man, that guy/girl is a douchebag" and move on with my life. I'm not going to put signs on my car, flip them off, or drive crazy just to piss them off. Revenge on the road is stupid.
 
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