Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(   Children named after brands. In the year 2000, 49 children were named Canon, followed by 11 Bentleys, five Jaguars and a Xerox   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

11173 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2003 at 12:47 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

482 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-09-29 02:26:01 PM  
Great...another Fark thread that's degenerated into an old "In Living Color" sketch.

Don't forget all the Seinfeld references!

"If you name your son Jeeves, haven't you pretty much determined what his career will be?"
2003-09-29 02:26:10 PM  
As far as joke names go, Holden McGroin always gets a chuckle out of me. Wasn't that one of Chevy Chases fake names in Fletch?

*still sad Jason Lee won't play Fletch in the new movie<
2003-09-29 02:26:49 PM  
How about Duane Johnson? I bet any kid with that name is a real wussy loser. Probably gets his arse kicked every day.

Yeah, he'd probably change it--name himself after an inamimate object, or something.
2003-09-29 02:27:08 PM  
Wasn't there a football player called Scientific Maps?

And the Bills have Lawyer Milloy.. I bet his folks are much prouder of his brothers Doctor and Accountant.. (though they don't hear much from the black sheep sister Hooker)

/geto names are funny!
//and unemployable!
2003-09-29 02:27:31 PM  
Wife is a nurse who's worked many departments over the years. Her best "name" story comes from a woman who (1) didn't know she was pregnant and (2) named her newborn daughter after the state she was born in - Vagina.

/sures to God this is true
2003-09-29 02:27:32 PM  
Nope, a nurse who specializes in prisons & in low-income areas. You want urban legends, go to Snopes.
2003-09-29 02:29:09 PM  
When I was in HS we went to the guidance counclor's office and signed the waiting list as 'Jerry Curl'. Well after he searched all the school's records and couldn't find the student he asked a secertary to page the student over the intercom. Detention for me and all my associates soon ensued...
2003-09-29 02:29:15 PM  
The veep of Kodak is Charlie Brown. Not Charles. He insists on Charlie. Not a bad guy to talk to, either.
2003-09-29 02:29:17 PM  
Not to say anything too crass, but compare the increase in these "non-traditional" names to the increase in the minority population and I bet they go hand in hand.
2003-09-29 02:29:37 PM  
How about Kosmo?
2003-09-29 02:29:57 PM  
There's also a guy around town here who is named "Sandy Weiner". I had to pretend to be choking on my drink when he introduced himself.
2003-09-29 02:30:23 PM  
Once we already in detention in HS, someone always signed in "Geddy Lee". Yes I went to high school in the eighties.
2003-09-29 02:32:15 PM  
I worked for a dr. in southern california when i happened upon a file with the name "Diep, Phuc". Really. I cried.
My great-aunt, (who is a be-aich) worked in a facility for single, low-income mothers. Mothers would ask her advice for names all the time. She helped name several babies, including:
Clamidia (actual spelling)
Gonoreah (gon-or-ree-a) who goes by "Reah"
and twins named Famala and Mally

She is old and will be going to hell soon.
2003-09-29 02:32:27 PM  
I was almost named Cosmo mark1927, instead they gave that name to the dog.
2003-09-29 02:34:12 PM  
I knew a girl when I was growing up with the name "Honor Star Shinkle, she always got crap.

suprised no one mentioned "long duck dong" yet....

/16 candles
2003-09-29 02:34:32 PM  
Almost forgot, when I lived in NYC, I got picked up by this Middle Eastern Cabby. Those fellas seem to take a shine to us buxomy types and he was going to wait for me, outside this club for 4 hours while I partied so that he could drive me back home. I politely declined. I can't remember how he spelled it, but his name, phonetically, translated to Elfarkee! I also had a cabby, named Furooq give me his phone number in hopes of getting into my pants.

//fun times!
2003-09-29 02:34:50 PM  
AS a TA, my bf has to run two first-year Physics labs. He showed me the class lists. One of the names:


I assume that's some hyped-up form of "Kayley". Jesus. Try putting that into an email address prefix.

/I bet she has a sister named "Bri'Anna"
2003-09-29 02:35:40 PM  
A girl in my son's preschool is named "London" - I can't help but think of the tune "I see London, I see France" everytime I'm chatting with her. Probably not a good thing to have a rhyme about underwear associated with your name. EH? Ya think?

A girl in my gradeschool had the last name "Gradeless" - I thought it was hilarious since she was stupid, but nobody else seemed to get the joke.

Highschool - Steven Stevens. Was that supposed to be a joke on the parents part? Haha funny, let's saddle our kid with a repeat name. Apparently this is common though, have run into a handful of others with same first and last names.

A coworker's granddaughter is named "Caj Monet". When I inquired about this rather unique name and it's origin ?(is that french? creole?) the grandmother laughed and explained the antics of her stupid son - CASH MONEY because the baby entitled him to get an increase in his pay (army guy). Don't bother with the college fund, send her right to the strip club. Man.

When a friend was pregnant she seriously wanted to name the baby JonBenet if it was a girl. Because "it's so pretty" even though the namesake was a child pagent star brutally murdered by a family member. When subtle comments didnt work we finally told her that it was sick, and to please think of something else.
2003-09-29 02:36:05 PM  
I knew a girl in high school with the name Starlene. Not as bad as Clamidia or whatever but still. Stuck up biatch she was..
2003-09-29 02:36:37 PM  
I went to school with a guy from Korea. His parents wanted to give him an "American sounding name" (the way he described it) so they named him Peter. Unfortunately, his last name was Pan.
2003-09-29 02:36:58 PM  
Man, that's a bit Jennifer Goverment for me. I thought placenames were stupid ("Aspen! Get over here!"), but corporate brands? That's a new level of stupid.

I have *got* to keep track of the weird names I come across. I work in medical records, I mean, there are some wacky ones. I have never seen a Lemongello, as far as I know, it is an urban legend, but there are a few Females (fee-mal-ay) floating around.

My boyfriend's suitemate in college had an astronomical middle name. Rigel, I think. His brother had another star-name, too. I though that was pretty cool, and it was only a middle name.
2003-09-29 02:37:21 PM  
I don't think Dorkus is a name that relates well although I know someone with that name.

I also know someone with the last name Massengill.
2003-09-29 02:37:34 PM  
My wife's parents almost named her Mary Jane, instead they opted for Nancy. They are filipino so they probably didn't know the meaning.
2003-09-29 02:37:38 PM  
damn fark...that was meant to be Elphuckee, not Elfarkee, though that would have been funny too.
2003-09-29 02:37:44 PM  
I knew a guy in school named Frey Cox (pronounced free), and a girl named Autumn Pancake (she was very hot), another hot girl with a bad name Amanda Lynn (say it fast), the running joke was that we all wanted to play the "Amanda Lynn".
2003-09-29 02:38:32 PM  
FoxyG - I don't remeber Lance's last name, he was Asain. Nice guy.

There is (was?) a law prof at the University of Toronto named Dick Risk.
2003-09-29 02:38:33 PM  
i've always wanted to name a kid "Rathed." looks like you should pronounce it "raah-thed." sounds like a pretty family name.

the real pronunciation would be "rat head."

the woman who green-lights this will be the lucky recipient of my dna.
2003-09-29 02:40:19 PM  
Again, only marginally related...
Harry Burns: With whom did you have this great sex?

Sally Albright: I'm not going to tell you that.

Harry Burns: Fine, don't tell me.

Sally Albright: Shel Gordon.

Harry Burns: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.

Sally Albright: I did too.

Harry Burns: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man...but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work.
2003-09-29 02:40:40 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-09-29 02:41:39 PM  
Not that anyones reading at this point, but at the zoo that I was working at this summer there was a little boy named hennessey, like the drink.

/yes, he was black
2003-09-29 02:42:14 PM  
There's a dentist in Seattle named Dr. Carey.
2003-09-29 02:42:25 PM  
There was a study done (Mehrabian & Piercy, 1993 Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin) that found a definite effect of first name on how one is perceived. "Alexander" and "Elizabeth" get you more respect than "Otis" or "Tracy."

Hey, thanks Son of Thunder! ;)

Actually, it always pissed me off that my parents gave me the male version of Tracy as my name... top that off with wearing all my brother's hand me downs, and having super short hair and my child hood was a constant "I"M NOT A BOY!"

Name your daughter a girl's name. Or let her grow her hair. All I'm saying.
2003-09-29 02:42:26 PM  
It goes the other way too.

Mercedes was the name of Daimler's granddaughter
2003-09-29 02:43:17 PM  
Raymond Luxury Yacht
2003-09-29 02:43:21 PM  

I have a cousin named Jackson (goes by Jack) and my whole family is white. I kind of like that name for a little boy, personally.
2003-09-29 02:43:27 PM  
Crystal Klir (pronounced "clear") was in my grade school.
2003-09-29 02:43:43 PM  
NFL player - Darwin Walker
2003-09-29 02:43:48 PM  
I went to college with a Vietnamese kid named Dat Ho. Also know a girl named Breezy.
2003-09-29 02:45:46 PM  
I'm naming my kid "Iggy Pop."
2003-09-29 02:46:28 PM  

My name is Corey, my brother's name is Chris. Our mother would introduce us as: "These are my children, Chris and Corey." Since I was a tomboy with short hair and we weren't rich, I got my older brother's hand-me-downs. People would always reply "You have such cute sons!!"

Fark you, I'm a girl!!

It's the story of my life, I tell ya....
2003-09-29 02:47:32 PM  
How could I forget!?

We have a professor at my college named Ada lie.
2003-09-29 02:47:55 PM  
Thanks Hollyziggy... there was a guy on Car Talk on Saturday named Lancelot Smith. Definitely white though. Wondered if it was perhaps an eerie farkin' coincidence.
2003-09-29 02:48:02 PM  
the male version of Tracy


...or Kelly, Shannon, Leslie, etc.

I know too many guys with girl names. WTF were their fathers thinking. Sorry for yelling.
2003-09-29 02:48:09 PM  
What about the Gits, Sniveling Little Rat-Faced and his wife Dreary Fat Boring Old?

They named their kids Dirty Lying Little Two-Faced and Ghastly Spotty Horrible Vicious Little.

2003-09-29 02:48:38 PM  
A co-worker named his son Jaxen. Kinda like Jackson...but not really.
2003-09-29 02:49:31 PM  
My Mother-in-Law is a principal. There is a student at her school with the name:

Shi#head Jones

Does the kid have a brother named Aswipe' ?
2003-09-29 02:52:52 PM  
We considered naming our little girl Yasmin because of my wife's birth control. She had to take this form of birth control to help regulate her hormones so that we could get pregenant...

Taking birth control to get pregnant just doesn't seem right...
2003-09-29 02:53:03 PM  
I just remembered -
My best friend, her little sister and I were at a family owned restaurant in Big Bear, CA two years ago. Our waitress' nametag said, "Hi, my name is Skittles - ask me about our famous pancakes!" Turns out, it was not a nickname and that she liked her "crazy" name. We made of a lot of "taste the rainbow" jokes...
2003-09-29 02:53:37 PM  
and a chick in high school with me was named Holly Wood.
2003-09-29 02:54:56 PM  

Are you sure that isn't Throat Warbler Mangrove?
Displayed 50 of 482 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.