James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh

Perhaps the writer died dictating.

gilgigamesh: God began the creation of the world at nightfall on the evening of Saturday, Oct. 22, in 4004 B.C.

Wait a minute. According to Genesis, the world was without form, and void. And the first thing God did was say, "let there be light".

So how was there a "nightfall" that preceded the light that was brought into existence by the Word of God?

Because Jesus.

Happpy birfday, Earf

The big bang is a creation of of a catholic priest. (new window) It was essentially made up to explain away the new scientific discoveries of the day, and ushered in a more non-literal translation of the bible, thus extending the life of a dying religion. For some reason, science still adheres to it. Someday we may realize the true infinite nature of space, time, and matter. (new window)

God began the creation of the world at nightfall on the evening of Saturday, Oct. 22, in 4004 B.C.

How was there nightfall if the world didn't exist yet?

CDP: Creationists believe that the Earth is roughly 6,000 to 10,000 years old, and that we all descended from the first two people, Adam and Eve. The funny thing about this is, scientists have been spending lots of time researching DNA for proof of evolution, but guess what they discovered! They discovered that mitochondrial DNA suggests that all living humans did indeed descend from a single human female. Evolutionists and Creationists actually agree on this one. Darwin wasn't aware of this during the founding of his religion, which is probably why he though he was part of a superior race of humans. However there were not just a bunch of random monkeys around the world that all evolved together into people. Evolutionists call this female "mitochondrial Eve," and Creationists just call her Eve. Evolutionists were obviously freaked out by this. They can't have the Bible gaining factual credibility now, can they? People might believe in God! So they put the date of this female's lifetime to be hundreds of thousands of years ago, based on their belief in evolution. Creationists, on the other hand, put the age of this female at 6,000 to 10,000 years ago, based not only on the detailed genealogy account in the Bible, but also on the actual rate of change in mitochondrial DNA. Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

Link (new window)

[i132.photobucket.com image 313x232]

Charles Darwin founded a religion?

CDP: Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

No.

http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/homs/mitoeve.html

Bedstead Polisher: CDP: Creationists believe that the Earth is roughly 6,000 to 10,000 years old, and that we all descended from the first two people, Adam and Eve. The funny thing about this is, scientists have been spending lots of time researching DNA for proof of evolution, but guess what they discovered! They discovered that mitochondrial DNA suggests that all living humans did indeed descend from a single human female. Evolutionists and Creationists actually agree on this one. Darwin wasn't aware of this during the founding of his religion, which is probably why he though he was part of a superior race of humans. However there were not just a bunch of random monkeys around the world that all evolved together into people. Evolutionists call this female "mitochondrial Eve," and Creationists just call her Eve. Evolutionists were obviously freaked out by this. They can't have the Bible gaining factual credibility now, can they? People might believe in God! So they put the date of this female's lifetime to be hundreds of thousands of years ago, based on their belief in evolution. Creationists, on the other hand, put the age of this female at 6,000 to 10,000 years ago, based not only on the detailed genealogy account in the Bible, but also on the actual rate of change in mitochondrial DNA. Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

Link (new window)

[i132.photobucket.com image 313x232]

Charles Darwin founded a religion?

CDP just did. Bevetsism.

Why didn't God wait until January 1, 4003 BC and just start out on a fresh new year?

CDP: Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

No. No, it's not. (new window)

There's this theory that for the life of me I can't remember the name.
It's basically stating how there have been many Big Bangs, not just one, and that there will be many more afterwards. It started with that ball of a bunch of elements, the singularity, and it exploded and went in all different directions, that is why Earth is a habitable place because it was just at the right spot. Then a black hole will engulf everything back together, and the whole process will begin again.

I think the name starts with the letter E or I.... but I just do not remember it and I want to look up more info about it. Does anybody have a clue?

The reason the DNA goes back to a single female is simple. Just like my ex-wife, Eve was a slut that would boink anything with a penis.

pxlboy: Bedstead Polisher: CDP: Creationists believe that the Earth is roughly 6,000 to 10,000 years old, and that we all descended from the first two people, Adam and Eve. The funny thing about this is, scientists have been spending lots of time researching DNA for proof of evolution, but guess what they discovered! They discovered that mitochondrial DNA suggests that all living humans did indeed descend from a single human female. Evolutionists and Creationists actually agree on this one. Darwin wasn't aware of this during the founding of his religion, which is probably why he though he was part of a superior race of humans. However there were not just a bunch of random monkeys around the world that all evolved together into people. Evolutionists call this female "mitochondrial Eve," and Creationists just call her Eve. Evolutionists were obviously freaked out by this. They can't have the Bible gaining factual credibility now, can they? People might believe in God! So they put the date of this female's lifetime to be hundreds of thousands of years ago, based on their belief in evolution. Creationists, on the other hand, put the age of this female at 6,000 to 10,000 years ago, based not only on the detailed genealogy account in the Bible, but also on the actual rate of change in mitochondrial DNA. Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

Link (new window)

[i132.photobucket.com image 313x232]

Charles Darwin founded a religion?

[sv3.wakku.to image 293x400]

Oh I know you guys treat Darwin as though he's a deity who tries to kill stupid people, but that's the first time I have heard that he "founded a religion". He's just a man who studied pigeons to me.

DiabolicalAsparagus: There's this theory that for the life of me I can't remember the name.
It's basically stating how there have been many Big Bangs, not just one, and that there will be many more afterwards. It started with that ball of a bunch of elements, the singularity, and it exploded and went in all different directions, that is why Earth is a habitable place because it was just at the right spot. Then a black hole will engulf everything back together, and the whole process will begin again.

I think the name starts with the letter E or I.... but I just do not remember it and I want to look up more info about it. Does anybody have a clue?

It sounds very Lovecraftian...

DiabolicalAsparagus: There's this theory that for the life of me I can't remember the name.
It's basically stating how there have been many Big Bangs, not just one, and that there will be many more afterwards. It started with that ball of a bunch of elements, the singularity, and it exploded and went in all different directions, that is why Earth is a habitable place because it was just at the right spot. Then a black hole will engulf everything back together, and the whole process will begin again.

I think the name starts with the letter E or I.... but I just do not remember it and I want to look up more info about it. Does anybody have a clue?

Yeah I think i've seen that bus somewhere around Miami!

/Some Bros if I remember right.

DiabolicalAsparagus: There's this theory that for the life of me I can't remember the name.
It's basically stating how there have been many Big Bangs, not just one, and that there will be many more afterwards. It started with that ball of a bunch of elements, the singularity, and it exploded and went in all different directions, that is why Earth is a habitable place because it was just at the right spot. Then a black hole will engulf everything back together, and the whole process will begin again.

I think the name starts with the letter E or I.... but I just do not remember it and I want to look up more info about it. Does anybody have a clue?

That's part of the concept of Eternal Return.

WTF Indeed: James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh

Perhaps the writer died dictating.

Hahahaa!

gilgigamesh: God began the creation of the world at nightfall on the evening of Saturday, Oct. 22, in 4004 B.C.

Wait a minute. According to Genesis, the world was without form, and void. And the first thing God did was say, "let there be light".

So how was there a "nightfall" that preceded the light that was brought into existence by the Word of God?

Uh....

... because before there was light, it was... dark?

DiabolicalAsparagus: It's basically stating how there have been many Big Bangs, not just one, and that there will be many more afterwards.

There have been many versions of that idea. At one point people thought that the expansion of the universe might slow down (due to gravity), then reverse with everything collapsing back down into a black hole and then repeating. Measurements have now shown that it's going the other way, and the expansion rate will continue to increase.

Roger Penrose (new window) has proposed a repeating universe without the collapse.

There's also the whole "brane" thing where it's postulated that our universe is just a bubble in a larger higher-dimensional multiverse.

Wikipedia for Cyclic model (new window) is probably a good starting point for further reading.

Oscillating universe
and also the Eternal Return...
I knew it had something to do with Nietzsche and some Einstein!

NICE thanks I have been wondering this for the longest time. Gotta love Nietzsche

Somacandra: WTF Indeed: James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh

Perhaps the writer died dictating.

He wouldn't dictate "Armaaaaaagh." He's just say it.

Well that's what's carved in the rock!

CDP: Creationists believe that the Earth is roughly 6,000 to 10,000 years old, and that we all descended from the first two people, Adam and Eve. The funny thing about this is, scientists have been spending lots of time researching DNA for proof of evolution, but guess what they discovered! They discovered that mitochondrial DNA suggests that all living humans did indeed descend from a single human female. Evolutionists and Creationists actually agree on this one. Darwin wasn't aware of this during the founding of his religion, which is probably why he though he was part of a superior race of humans. However there were not just a bunch of random monkeys around the world that all evolved together into people. Evolutionists call this female "mitochondrial Eve," and Creationists just call her Eve. Evolutionists were obviously freaked out by this. They can't have the Bible gaining factual credibility now, can they? People might believe in God! So they put the date of this female's lifetime to be hundreds of thousands of years ago, based on their belief in evolution. Creationists, on the other hand, put the age of this female at 6,000 to 10,000 years ago, based not only on the detailed genealogy account in the Bible, but also on the actual rate of change in mitochondrial DNA. Whoah, is scientific fact actually siding with the Bible?

Link (new window)

[i132.photobucket.com image 313x232]

9/10
Some of us will not only actually click the link, and then read it as well, but some might actually expect peer-reviewed sources to be cited.

Ivo Shandor: There's also the whole "brane" thing where it's postulated that our universe is just a bubble in a larger higher-dimensional multiverse.

Yikes! Just discovered this stuff. It would seem then that our universe is pretty short-lived, in the "brane" theories. Although it also would say (I think) that there could be "universes" that last seconds...I think...

CDP: Bedstead Polisher: Charles Darwin founded a religion?

[pseudoscientific wharrgarbl]

I see the trolls are pushing "X is a religion" today.

What does it mean for X to be a religion? Is being a religion a thing to be respected, or does it make less of X? Is X an act of faith just because you don't understand it, or disagree, or both? And how much does Drew pay the trolls to keep us here arguing?

Note that because there was no year 0 in the Julian/Gregorian calendars, it is actually the 6014th anniversary of the Creation.

Rindred: CDP: Bedstead Polisher: Charles Darwin founded a religion?

[pseudoscientific wharrgarbl]

[www2.picturepush.com image 480x320]

Has anyone ever explained why the "Maxiumum Trolling" image has a glowing picture of the British Isles in it?

Religious trolling? On the sabbath? Have you no shame?

abb3w: Bedstead Polisher: Charles Darwin founded a religion?
Allen. The end.: No.
Nem Wan: No. No, it's not. (new window)

The picture is a hint; the link goes to the source of the particular nonsense, with the full context.

To be fair, he's a shade more believable than Bevets if for no other reason than he injects a pretense of reason into posts constructed of his own words rather than just making up words like 'evolutionismists' to sprinkle in between lines of copypasta. You'd think the funny pictures would offset that, but...

"Current theories on the creation of the Universe state that, if it was created at all and didn't just start, as it were, unofficially, it came into being between ten and twenty thousand million years ago. By the same token the earth itself is generally supposed to be about four and a half thousand million years old.

"These dates are incorrect

"Medieval Jewish scholars put the date of the Creation at 3760 B.C. Greek Orthodox theologians put the Creation as far back as 5508 B.C.

"These suggestions are also incorrect.

"Archbishop James Usher (1580-1665) published Annales Veteris et Novi Testamenti in 1654, which suggested that the Heaven and the Earth were created in 4004 B.C. One of his aides took the calculation further, and was able to announce triumphantly that the Earth was created on Sunday 21st of October 4004 B.C., at exactly 9:00 A.M., because God liked to get work done early in the morning while he was feeling fresh.

"This too was incorrect. By almost a quarter of an hour.

"The whole business with the fossilized dinosaur skeletons was a joke the paleontologists haven't seen yet.
This proves two things:

"Firstly, that God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

"Secondly, the Earth's a Libra."

/Geez, do I have to do everything around here?

CDP: Bedstead Polisher: Charles Darwin founded a religion?

It does not take much effort to demonstrate that evolution is not science but religion. Science, of course, involved observation, using one or more of our five senses (taste, sight, smell, hearing, touch) to gain knowledge about the world and to be able to repeat the observations. Naturally, one can only observe what exists in the present. It is an easy task to understand that no scientist was present over the suggested millions of years to witness the supposed evolutionary progression of life form the simple to the complex. No living scientists was there to observe the first life forming in some primeval sea. No living scientist was there to observe the Big Bang that is supposed to have occurred 10 or 20 billion years ago, nor the supposed formation of the earth 4.5 billion years ago (or even 10,000 years ago!). No scientists was there--no human witness was there to see these events occurring. They certainly cannot be repeated today.

All the evidence a scientists has exists only in the present. All the fossils, the living animals and plants, the world, the universe--in fact, everything, exists now--in the present. The average person (including most students) is not taught that scientists have only the present and cannot deal directly with the past. Evolution is a belief system about the past based on the words of men who were not there, but who are trying to explain how all the evidence of the present (that is, fossils, animals and plants, etc.) originated. (Webster's Dictionary defines religion as follows: "... cause, principle or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith." Surely, this is an apt description of evolution.) Evolution is a belief system--a religion!

Link (new window)

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I'd like to cite Geocities web design as proof of Darwin's theory of evolution. No one will take your website seriously because it uses a Geocities style layout and since basic webpage layouts have evolved past 3rd grade design, survival of the fittest dictates that God does not exist.

flaminio: Has anyone ever explained why the "Maxiumum Trolling" image has a glowing picture of the British Isles in it?

I have never noticed that before, +1 to you... now I'm curious also dammit.

Wasn't archbishop Usher laughed at during his time when he said earth was born at 9am?

phaseolus: /Geez, do I have to do everything around here?

Is that Douglas Adams?

Tunacrab: The big bang is a creation of of a catholic priest. (new window) It was essentially made up to explain away the new scientific discoveries of the day, and ushered in a more non-literal translation of the bible, thus extending the life of a dying religion.

I suggest you look at Georges Lemaître's wikipedia page.

Seems to me he was an astronomer and physicist first, Jesuit second.

It seems to be chiefly in the past couple of decades that anti-intellectualism and biblical fundamentalism have really taken hold in Christianity. Sad times.

For some reason, science still adheres to it.

Science adheres to it as it is the best explanation for the expansion of the universe and CMB radiation. If you have a better theory that fits all observed facts, why not publish?

Someday we may realize the true infinite nature of space, time, and matter. (new window)

Oh, I see.

I do believe in god, and I think god is a woman.

It's the only plausible explanation for the universe and existence. I came to this conclusion after many years of relationships with women. Only a woman would do everything to make a man happy, and then play passive aggressive "tests" with him, much to his total unawareness that it's going on.

You see, I believe the entire Genesis story of the garden and the snake and the apple and the man and woman are totally true. These are real events. See, god, a woman, makes the garden, makes Adam, makes everything. But Adam ain't happy. And god, she gets pissed cuz Adam should only want her.

This is the perfect setup for a woman to have a man in. Adam has no friends. He can't go out. He has no hobbies. God gets to make all this for him. Friends? Ok, here's some animals. Hobbies? Ok, well, here's some fruit trees to look after.

But he still ain't happy, cuz no guy is ever going to be happy being totally controlled like that, and so, we get the first ever game-playing in history. God's like, "ok, fine. I'll make him another woman, just to test him and see/prove that he loves me more." So, she makes Eve. The problem is, Eve had a vagina, and that's like, way fun. Oh man is Adam happy now. And Eve and god are all, glaring at each other at times across the room with that female, "nice dress" stuff, and god, the more powerful woman, brings it to a head. "I'll make a tree that if they eat it they'll eventually die and stuff, but Adam will choose me cuz, deep down, whether Eve has a vagina or not, Adam _really_ loves me more." Oh, and Eve picks up on it quick. God and Eve know what's going on, but of course, Adam, don't -- the first sucker on earth.

So Eve is like, "game on biatch!" She eats the apple. God is giddy. "Oh boy oh boy! Now, Adam will not, cuz he _really_ loves me more, and that chick'll be gone, and then it'll be back to just me and Adam." Well, we all know what happens. The first sucker on earth picks hot and new over old and busted, and thus, we are where we are today.

So you see, Stephen Hawking was close, just not close enough. I really think this it the best foundation for creationism and science. This is like, the Sophocles of it all if you will -- the Sun Tzu. We need to start with women as the original cause for the imperfection that lead to gravity, dark matter, dark energy, religion, wars, etc. This is all extremely logical....

(PS: please don't tell my wife I wrote this, thx)

CDP: Science, of course, involved observation, using one or more of our five senses (taste, sight, smell, hearing, touch) to gain knowledge about the world and to be able to repeat the observations. Naturally, one can only observe what exists in the present.

This is the stupidest thing ever. If I come into the house from outside and see a glass of water spilled on the floor and the only person inside was my 9 year old daughter, I can pretty definitively conclude that she spilled the water. Science also involves using your brain to infer, deduce, etc.

CDP:

Keep it up. You're still getting bites every time.

CDP: words

9/10

You forgot to mention Piltdown.