FARK.com: (6665956) In case you didn't already have a reason to hate Ashton Kutcher, there's a chance he may the father of January Jones' baby

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		In case you didn't already have a reason to hate Ashton Kutcher, there's a chance he may the father of January Jones' baby (foxnews.com)		42
		More: Unlikely, January Jones, Ashton Kutcher, mom, one-night stands, unprotected sex, baseball caps, Sara Leal, hate

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42 Comments (+0 »)

GreenAdder

2011-10-21 11:07:42 PM

Nuh-uh. It's Magneto.

rynthetyn

2011-10-22 03:10:12 AM

I'm still going with the theory that it's Bobby Flay.

tankjr

2011-10-22 03:10:59 AM

Wow. She's just gross now

Hillbilly Jim

2011-10-22 03:20:28 AM

rynthetyn: I'm still going with the theory that it's Bobby Flay.

Why? Was the baby grilled with chili peppers?

The Repeated Meme

2011-10-22 03:47:02 AM

He may the father? Is that some modern slang for doing something sexual to him? Was he catching or pitching?

Shenanigans!

2011-10-22 03:47:21 AM

Until we know for sure, best to speculate wildly.

Apos

2011-10-22 03:47:53 AM

....but there's an even greater chance that you're simply being punk'd,subby.

MurphyMurphy

2011-10-22 03:57:00 AM

Who?
Ashton's impregnating characters out of James Bond scripts now?
*interwebs searching*
oooooh, the chick from the new X-men. ok, i gotcha.

/damn that lucky bastard.

SnakeMan

2011-10-22 03:58:17 AM

SnakeMan

2011-10-22 03:58:57 AM

AHEM...I SAID,
F b - is the father.

bravian

2011-10-22 04:12:08 AM

Hate? The guy is finally starting to grow on me.

Rubber Biscuit

2011-10-22 04:37:51 AM

I read that that was Rip Taylor's baby. You can't believe everything you read, except that thing about Rip Taylor. That is gospel.

Crudbucket

2011-10-22 05:13:17 AM

In case you didn't already have a reason to hate Ashton Kutcher, there's a chance he may _________ the father of January Jones' baby

eat?
hump?
record a country album with?

nakedcritic

2011-10-22 05:27:38 AM

A blind item?

All blind items are pure fiction. Period. In the incredibly rare instancce where a "blind item" matches up with something that has actually happened, it's pure coincidence

FARK EXCLUSIVE BLIND ITEM! : What Hollywood A-lister has a penchant for being pegged in the bad place with a condom full of oatmeal?

some_beer_drinker

2011-10-22 05:39:35 AM

The Repeated Meme: He may the father? Is that some modern slang for doing something sexual to him? Was he catching or pitching?

i dont think that means what you think it means

LonMead

2011-10-22 05:42:34 AM

bravian: Hate? The guy is finally starting to grow on me.

Yeah? Fortunately, thanks to advances in modern medicine, there are some non-surgical ways to take care of it.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Have her bathed and brought to me.
And hire a sitter for the baby.

for I am a responsible perv.

Grables'Daughter

2011-10-22 05:49:21 AM

Has anyone thought that Charlie Sheen may be behind this?

Alphax

2011-10-22 06:08:07 AM

So I guess she only looks fridged?

Hillbilly Jim

2011-10-22 06:08:36 AM

Grables'Daughter: Has anyone thought that Charlie Sheen may be behind this?

Charlie Sheen is behind a hooker snorting blow off her ass.

PDXBishop

2011-10-22 06:33:30 AM

Alphax: So I guess she only looks fridged?

No, that's Indiana Jones you're thinking of.

jaybeezey

2011-10-22 08:02:50 AM

I like that dude's style. I also like that chick's everthing.

Jaws_Victim

2011-10-22 08:23:51 AM

jaybeezey: I like that dude's style. I also like that chick's everthing.

I like that Mad Men continually makes her look like Grace Kelly.

Lsherm

2011-10-22 08:49:50 AM

She's beautiful, but Christ is she a terrible actress.

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body

2011-10-22 08:54:01 AM

Both the actor and his wife tried every tactic (money, lawyers, threats to ruin her career) to convince the ex to terminate the pregnancy.

That's f'd up if true.

gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net

The actor's wife found out about the baby, and, to no one's surprise, went completely ballistic.

images.contactmusic.com

If that scene is on film then finally there's something I'd pay to see with her in it.

cdn.evilbeetgossip.com

/Demi shows her sad face

Sarcastica75

2011-10-22 09:51:23 AM

The Repeated Meme: He may the father? Is that some modern slang for doing something sexual to him? Was he catching or pitching?

He may the father because he accidentally the whole thing in her vagina and that is sayof how babby is formed.

Dear Jerk

2011-10-22 09:55:33 AM

I was wondering why Jones was getting some remarkably snarky press lately.

ExperianScaresCthulhu

2011-10-22 10:13:35 AM

She's a whore. It's her job description to screw for roles, access, and headlines. Using a baby and a blind for self-promotion through someone else's crisis is just another day on the job.

ExperianScaresCthulhu

2011-10-22 10:15:07 AM

nakedcritic: A blind item?

All blind items are pure fiction. Period. In the incredibly rare instancce where a "blind item" matches up with something that has actually happened, it's pure coincidence

FARK EXCLUSIVE BLIND ITEM! : What Hollywood A-lister has a penchant for being pegged in the bad place with a condom full of oatmeal?

Michael Bay.

nakedcritic

2011-10-22 10:26:05 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: nakedcritic: A blind item?

All blind items are pure fiction. Period. In the incredibly rare instancce where a "blind item" matches up with something that has actually happened, it's pure coincidence

FARK EXCLUSIVE BLIND ITEM! : What Hollywood A-lister has a penchant for being pegged in the bad place with a condom full of oatmeal?

Michael Bay.

I can't say. Otherwise it wouldn't be a blind item. Even if I tap my nose the way I am right now.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache

2011-10-22 10:30:14 AM

Wouldn't be the first time Kelso became a father...

Braindeath

2011-10-22 10:36:57 AM

GreenAdder: Nuh-uh. It's Magneto.

He needed to knock up Zoe Kravitz since the Kravtiz ladies apparently have pussies made of gold considering how well they pull. Between that and his slutty charm, that girl would be the next Queen of Sheba.

Braindeath

2011-10-22 10:37:52 AM

Braindeath: GreenAdder: Nuh-uh. It's Magneto.

He needed to knock up Zoe Kravitz since the Kravtiz ladies apparently have pussies made of gold considering how well they pull. Between that and his slutty charm, that girl would be the next Queen of Sheba.

shiat. I meant Bonet ladies.

cryinoutloud

2011-10-22 10:59:50 AM

accidentally a whole babby?

/I farking doubt it.

GypsyJoker

2011-10-22 11:48:58 AM

Sarcastica75: The Repeated Meme: He may the father? Is that some modern slang for doing something sexual to him? Was he catching or pitching?

He may the father because he accidentally the whole thing in her vagina and that is sayof how babby is formed.

That's beautiful.

\wipes tear of happiness

CigaretteSmokingMan

2011-10-22 03:33:30 PM

katemonster

2011-10-22 03:44:23 PM

DanZero

2011-10-22 05:12:52 PM

SnakeMan: AHEM...I SAID,
F b - is the father.

Correct. Was established here (new window)

dothemath

2011-10-22 07:00:18 PM

Look out World, we got a real intellectual heavy-weight on the way.
Kids probably going to die at age 14 playing with a Foreman Grill in the bath tub.

FDR Jones

2011-10-22 07:38:05 PM

dothemath: Look out World, we got a real intellectual heavy-weight on the way.
Kids probably going to die at age 14 playing with a Foreman Grill in the bath tub.

nice one

InmanRoshi

2011-10-22 09:35:43 PM

That's going to be one amazing looking but borderline retarded kid.

PizzaJedi81

2011-10-22 10:12:30 PM

InmanRoshi: That's going to be one amazing looking but borderline retarded kid.

SOmeone call me?

deceiver.com