If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Hollyscoop) Obvious Michael Lohan is thinking what we're all thinking   (hollyscoop.com) divider line 97
More: Obvious, Lindsay Lohan, Celebrity Rehab  
•       •       •

11017 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Oct 2011 at 12:38 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



97 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2011-10-20 09:42:35 PM
"I'd hit it, but I'd double bag it and wouldn't tell anyone"?
 
2011-10-20 09:47:01 PM
Mr. Lohan is a mental case. I would trust Lilo before I trusted him.
 
2011-10-20 09:56:33 PM
They need to put a sober coach with her! A no nonsense sober coach!

So what's stopping you from doing it?
 
2011-10-20 09:57:17 PM
Pot kettle black
 
2011-10-20 10:01:27 PM
about what diseases one might get from banging Lindsay, and whether or not it would be worth it?

/probably not.
 
2011-10-20 10:02:13 PM
"Sort of want?"
 
2011-10-20 10:21:39 PM
Her stained teeth are simply evidence that she does ATM?
 
2011-10-20 11:02:05 PM
He wants to wait until his daughter is even more burned out, and then luck into a drunken, coke-fueled three-way with her and some no-name Hollywood wanna-be starlet?

That sick bastard!
 
2011-10-20 11:41:23 PM
i.imgur.com
"I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels."
 
2011-10-21 12:40:47 AM
She was way hotter when she filmed The Parent Trap?
 
2011-10-21 12:47:27 AM
GreenAdder: [i.imgur.com image 275x457]
"I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels."


"I think so, Brain, but how are we gonna get a monkey to use dental floss?"
 
2011-10-21 12:48:20 AM
No because you're thinking am I thinking what you're thinking.
 
2011-10-21 12:49:42 AM
Nice to see Farkers taking the high road and not implying deviant thoughts... oh who am I kidding "If Billy Ray can tag kin so can I"
 
2011-10-21 12:55:40 AM
media.revnewmedia.com

Face of Meth

/hehehehe the picture is titled 'lindsay-lohan_morgue'
 
2011-10-21 12:56:33 AM
Yummy

i.huffpost.com
 
2011-10-21 12:58:35 AM
I think so Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

I think so Brain, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

I think so Brain, but there's already a bug stuck in here from last time.

I think so Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.

/narf
 
2011-10-21 01:01:46 AM
farkingismybusiness: I think so Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

I think so Brain, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

I think so Brain, but there's already a bug stuck in here from last time.

I think so Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.

/narf


YES!
 
2011-10-21 01:05:54 AM
FTFA: "Michael Lohan just hardcore treaded into "I will cut a b-tch" territory."

Consequences will never be the same?

/zoink!
 
2011-10-21 01:22:25 AM
I'm thinking Arby's?

/fark you, the Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwiches are fantastic
 
2011-10-21 01:23:00 AM
He is thinking he would STILL fark her?
 
2011-10-21 01:32:21 AM
I really do hope Lindsay gets better at some point. But clearly, what she needs is to see the inside of a jail cell, even if only for a short term (not overnight, obviously; more like 90 days would do it). She needs the firsthand knowledge that people are eventually going to stop going 'stop or I'll say stop again'. Right now she thinks she's invincible, that no matter what she does, she'll get off light because she's Lindsay Lohan. You puncture that air of invincibility, that should start her down the path to recovery.

I mean, it straightened Paris out real nicely. Britney seems to finally be getting her head back on her shoulders. Lindsay needs the same thing they got.
 
2011-10-21 01:35:48 AM
Mah, maybe she does need to see bars but she hasn't been killing people. She isn't hurting people.
 
2011-10-21 01:53:58 AM
media.revnewmedia.com


You can't dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus," says Michael.
lh4.googleusercontent.com

/would tag the ever living sh*t out of that
//before she ODs, i wanna hit that like a motherf*cking train
 
2011-10-21 02:06:12 AM
So what you're saying is....

It's gonna be a good harvest this year?
 
2011-10-21 04:29:17 AM
Ed Grubermann: farkingismybusiness: I think so Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?
...

/narf

YES!


I'm done. Can't beat that.
 
Skr
2011-10-21 05:27:53 AM
So her teeth are pretty much dead thanks to the shiat she has been doing and probably unhealthy doses of malnutrition/bulimia. Her teeth have been fixed before and can be fixed again. Getting an oral work over is fairly common in showbiz.


drkam.files.wordpress.com
Some have better end results than others though.


Lindsay really needs to get in touch with reality and actually start maturing. 90 days in the cage sounds like it would be of benefit to her. Otherwise we should start gathering volunteers to give her the Black Snake Moan treatment.

God damn her father is such a creeper. Between him and Jessica & Ashley Simpon's Father... I'm not sure which is worse.


/love it when threads evolve into Pinky & the Brain hijinks.
//Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu
 
2011-10-21 05:50:01 AM
I feel sorry for her.......anyone else wonder if something really bad happened to her to make her so messed up or if she just naturally has a few short circuits in the ol brain?
 
2011-10-21 05:57:37 AM
I'm just waiting for this dirtbag to seek stewardship of Lindsay's affairs....
You KNOW that's what he's hoping for.
 
2011-10-21 05:58:18 AM
No father's day card for him
 
2011-10-21 06:12:36 AM
FirstNationalBastard: "I'd hit it, but I'd double bag it and wouldn't tell anyone"?

Oh, I'd tell people, but I'd tell it like this guy would have:

spectrumculture.com
 
2011-10-21 07:08:11 AM
Are her eyes even looking at the same place?

Hit it? Looks like she has been hit by a literal train.
 
2011-10-21 07:18:51 AM
She's doing meth. She had her teeth fixed recently, but there are before pictures somewhere.
 
182 [TotalFark]
2011-10-21 07:27:20 AM
lol....she'd chip a tooth on mah cawk.
 
2011-10-21 08:27:52 AM
He just wished Michael Lohan were hit by a bus?

Dr. Drew needs to talk to him about his suicidal ideations. They could be a very bad sign for a man in his condition.
 
2011-10-21 08:40:03 AM
No tellin' where that skank has been.

/I'm sure some of Farkers have major STDs
 
2011-10-21 08:49:57 AM
Clock Spider Jerusalem: I feel sorry for her.......anyone else wonder if something really bad happened to her to make her so messed up or if she just naturally has a few short circuits in the ol brain?

she had a lot of money and pasty 40-year-olds masturbating to her underage self. One day, while walking down the street in a $20,000 summer ensemble featuring daisy duke shorts, a gauzy eggshell-color top that accentuated her braless melons and a pair or Himmie Achoos, she got flicked in the face by the splooge of a single pasty middle-aged man, desperately trying to hold on to his childhood and make up for all the tail in high school he didn't get to stick it in because he was gargling Father Billy's ballsack. But he flicked her once she was past the threshold of immunity. He flicked her when she was already of age. It mutated in her, made her feel invincible but at the same time aging her rapidly, as she desperately tried to forget the sad sight of one derp's penis so much that she literally buried her face in coke and bad DJ vagoo. Like the picture of Dorian Gray, her actual form began decaying, her face wasting away, her teeth yellowing, her breasts beginning to give into the inevitable laws of physics. She became Lohan Zero and it is unknown how her little sister came to be infected, but it has indeed spread already.

Hence began the fall of LaPuta Lohan.

Tell your kids.

It is legend now.
 
2011-10-21 08:52:49 AM
Riotboy: No tellin' where that skank has been.

/I'm sure some of Farkers have major STDs


Both true. But wouldn't it be something if you could brag that you caught your STDs banging Lindsey Lohan while she was sucking meth smoke from a tin foil pipe?
 
2011-10-21 08:55:52 AM
Sarcastica75: Clock Spider Jerusalem: I feel sorry for her.......anyone else wonder if something really bad happened to her to make her so messed up or if she just naturally has a few short circuits in the ol brain?

she had a lot of money and pasty 40-year-olds masturbating to her underage self. One day, while walking down the street in a $20,000 summer ensemble featuring daisy duke shorts, a gauzy eggshell-color top that accentuated her braless melons and a pair or Himmie Achoos, she got flicked in the face by the splooge of a single pasty middle-aged man, desperately trying to hold on to his childhood and make up for all the tail in high school he didn't get to stick it in because he was gargling Father Billy's ballsack. But he flicked her once she was past the threshold of immunity. He flicked her when she was already of age. It mutated in her, made her feel invincible but at the same time aging her rapidly, as she desperately tried to forget the sad sight of one derp's penis so much that she literally buried her face in coke and bad DJ vagoo. Like the picture of Dorian Gray, her actual form began decaying, her face wasting away, her teeth yellowing, her breasts beginning to give into the inevitable laws of physics. She became Lohan Zero and it is unknown how her little sister came to be infected, but it has indeed spread already.

Hence began the fall of LaPuta Lohan.

Tell your kids.

It is legend now.



i46.photobucket.com
 
2011-10-21 09:09:59 AM
Sarcastica75: ...

Tell your kids.

It is legend now.


I read that entire thing in Antonio Banderas' voice.
 
2011-10-21 09:16:49 AM
T-Boy:
But wouldn't it be something if you could brag that you caught your STDs banging Lindsey Lohan while she was sucking meth smoke from a tin foil pipe?


Maybe not. - You've still got whatever has been brewing there.
 
2011-10-21 09:20:58 AM
Great job dad, but you're about 20 years too late with this one. You're better off putting some money aside for her funeral and focusing on keeping your OTHER kid off the rock.
 
2011-10-21 09:26:47 AM
Its a shiat job but Papa Lohan is doing it right.
Without guys like him and their total lack of parenting skills there would be no such thing as getting a blowjob from a girl I only met thirty minutes ago.
That would be the 'Bigfoot' of sexual acts.
Much talked about and little seen.

So thanks Mike, go make some more kids!
 
2011-10-21 09:27:59 AM
Jeez, she really looks like warmed over death. Perhaps a mandatory 120 days in rehab would fix her instead of letting her out early each time.
 
2011-10-21 09:30:10 AM
Sarcastica75: Clock Spider Jerusalem: I feel sorry for her.......anyone else wonder if something really bad happened to her to make her so messed up or if she just naturally has a few short circuits in the ol brain?

she had a lot of money and pasty 40-year-olds masturbating to her underage self. One day, while walking down the street in a $20,000 summer ensemble featuring daisy duke shorts, a gauzy eggshell-color top that accentuated her braless melons and a pair or Himmie Achoos, she got flicked in the face by the splooge of a single pasty middle-aged man, desperately trying to hold on to his childhood and make up for all the tail in high school he didn't get to stick it in because he was gargling Father Billy's ballsack. But he flicked her once she was past the threshold of immunity. He flicked her when she was already of age. It mutated in her, made her feel invincible but at the same time aging her rapidly, as she desperately tried to forget the sad sight of one derp's penis so much that she literally buried her face in coke and bad DJ vagoo. Like the picture of Dorian Gray, her actual form began decaying, her face wasting away, her teeth yellowing, her breasts beginning to give into the inevitable laws of physics. She became Lohan Zero and it is unknown how her little sister came to be infected, but it has indeed spread already.

Hence began the fall of LaPuta Lohan.

Tell your kids.

It is legend now.


I think I love you
 
2011-10-21 09:31:13 AM
Persnickety:


[i46.photobucket.com image 315x194]


*bows*

Remember, kids. Don't do drugs. A set of fantastic tits is a terrible thing to waste.

aspAddict: Sarcastica75: ...

Tell your kids.

It is legend now.

I read that entire thing in Antonio Banderas' voice.


I hope he was playing a guitar, too, because that's how it went down in my head.
 
2011-10-21 10:00:43 AM
Sarcastica75: ...as she desperately tried to forget the sad sight of one derp's penis so much that she literally buried her face in coke and bad DJ vagoo

I couldn't remember why I favorited you so long ago. Thank you for reminding me.
 
2011-10-21 10:10:40 AM
genepool lifeboat: Sarcastica75: ...as she desperately tried to forget the sad sight of one derp's penis so much that she literally buried her face in coke and bad DJ vagoo

I couldn't remember why I favorited you so long ago. Thank you for reminding me.


*tips cap*

thank you kindly, sir.
 
2011-10-21 10:21:49 AM
Sabyen91: Mah, maybe she does need to see bars but she hasn't been killing people. She isn't hurting people.

And she's making losers the world round feel better about themselves.
 
2011-10-21 11:10:45 AM
Sarcastica75....

While I love what you wrote. It was true and lyrical to a certain extent. It still makes me sick. Was that your intent or is that just the flavor of this tale?
 
2011-10-21 11:24:21 AM
nomorelurking: Sarcastica75....

While I love what you wrote. It was true and lyrical to a certain extent. It still makes me sick. Was that your intent or is that just the flavor of this tale?


It's based on a scene from Silence of the Lambs and a true story...
Much of what I write is pretty crude and twisted.
So I guess it was both intent and in Lohan's particular case, flavor.

/I'm days removed from reading a mass amount of dark, twisted comics though, for fun and research, so there's THAT, too. I mean, last night I was watching Cannibal: The Musical... I am fairly certain these things linger in my mind as I write stuff here. :D
 
Displayed 50 of 97 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »