The kids are probably too busy having sex with their teachers to get around to sending the bracelets back.

That's the best encouragement they can get. Why take it back?

And the ones they got back are all sticky, too.

A handful of what?

They say more that than a handful is a waste anyway.

Makes me happy to see that they have finally figured out how to motivate young minds.

The spokesman claims, "Curiosity is bound to get the better of some of them."

I'm pretty sure that's not curiosity.

Oh Florida, without your hilarious antics my day would not be nearly as bright.

WHAR ARE PICS WHAR!?

My first thought was "what use does a slap bracelet ruler with pictures of naked ladies have?"

Then, I was like

wyltoknow: Shiat, back in my day all we got were coupons for free Taco Bell cinnamon twists and discounts at Butterfly World. Kids these days don't know how good they have it.


In my day we got ostracized by the other kids for making them look bad.
Stupid bell curve...

inb4gd

namatad: He said he wouldn't be surprised if some students keep the bracelets. "Curiosity is bound to get the better of some of them," Emerson said.

RIGHT
because a curious kid doesnt know how to use the internet?
bwhahahahahahahahahaha



I'm thinking more along the lines that it is hard to use these bracelets as evidence in a civil lawsuit ( because precious snowflakes saw dirty pillows) if they returned them to the school.

I think the real question here is where the hell do I find one of these tape measures that have nekkid ladies on them? Why would you recycle something as cool as that!?

The server crashed already.

Harv72b: wyltoknow: Shiat, back in my day all we got were coupons for free Taco Bell cinnamon twists and discounts at Butterfly World. Kids these days don't know how good they have it.

Shiat, back in my day I got an orange. Which I used as part of a scientific experiment to see what happens to an orange when left in a school locker for 6 months. Results: it does not remain orange.

I remember that experiment. Mine turned a nice shade of green and got all fuzzy... I seem to remember my locker had a lingering smell after that too... whatever, I left it there over the summer for the next owner of the locker to continue the experiment!

I actually know the school 'spokesperson'... Mr Emerson. went to school together.

Link seems farked, here's another one

Harry Freakstorm: I got a hug from a hot teacher for being the first kid to finish all the reading assignments. Face got right between the boobs and right then and there, I decided I liked boobs. Cooties be damned. God bless summer school! Where the average student can excel!

So Much This.

/Only A I ever got for an entire course.

OldRod: I remember that experiment. Mine turned a nice shade of green and got all fuzzy...

I remember that experiment too.

Damn you, Carly. I needed four shots of penicillin to get over you.

Okay, I just got a brilliant idea for an adult item:

A "slap cockring."

Okay, maybe not.

Back in high school, I participated in an extracurricular program where we were supposed to set up our own businesses and learn all about success. Pretty much it's amounts to buying one of several assemble-it-yourself products and trying to sell the crap to fellow students at school. It was called Junior Achievement (Google it).

My teams' product was a two-part insulated plastic mug. We purchased local road maps, cut them up, and inserted them between the two parts of the cup. Our parents bought a few, but nobody wanted the damn things.

I got the idea to purchase some Playboy magazines and use them instead of the maps. These new cups sold out twice until we were stopped by the principal. And they attempted unsuccessfully to "recover" the already-sold mugs.

However, by that time, we had earned a pile of money, so we did nothing for the rest of the semester and still made more profit that the next five JA businesses combined. However, we were denied the "award" for being the best performing business because we did not make an "approved" product.

Screw that. We divided the $$ and left satisfied, having learned exactly what we were supposed to learn from JA and more besides.

Notice by "A+ students" they mean the ones who raised the most money in the fundraiser. The kids who get good grades actually get nothing.

Thread is useless without pics ... here's a link to the article with the partially blurred out images:
Bracelet goodness (new window)

wambu: Back in high school, I participated in an extracurricular program where we were supposed to set up our own businesses and learn all about success. Pretty much it's amounts to buying one of several assemble-it-yourself products and trying to sell the crap to fellow students at school. It was called Junior Achievement (Google it).

My teams' product was a two-part insulated plastic mug. We purchased local road maps, cut them up, and inserted them between the two parts of the cup. Our parents bought a few, but nobody wanted the damn things.

I got the idea to purchase some Playboy magazines and use them instead of the maps. These new cups sold out twice until we were stopped by the principal. And they attempted unsuccessfully to "recover" the already-sold mugs.

However, by that time, we had earned a pile of money, so we did nothing for the rest of the semester and still made more profit that the next five JA businesses combined. However, we were denied the "award" for being the best performing business because we did not make an "approved" product.

Screw that. We divided the $$ and left satisfied, having learned exactly what we were supposed to learn from JA and more besides.

3. Profit...

What a recycled x-rated measuring tape may look like.

No "fap bracelet" yet?!?

Came from China, eh? Okay kids, your modules for this unit are called: "Lead poisoning and you", "I can't believe its not gluten", and "Why does my pee smell funny?".

I remember slap bracelets as a fad in the early '90s, they were banned due to being a distraction, or causing injuries, but I guess injuries fall under distractions. Now they give them away with pictures of boobs on them. That is strange. But I hope this cycle keeps going, I'd like to see a Tamagotchi with boobs.

wambu: Back in high school, I participated in an extracurricular program where we were supposed to set up our own businesses and learn all about success. Pretty much it's amounts to buying one of several assemble-it-yourself products and trying to sell the crap to fellow students at school. It was called Junior Achievement (Google it).

My teams' product was a two-part insulated plastic mug. We purchased local road maps, cut them up, and inserted them between the two parts of the cup. Our parents bought a few, but nobody wanted the damn things.

I got the idea to purchase some Playboy magazines and use them instead of the maps. These new cups sold out twice until we were stopped by the principal. And they attempted unsuccessfully to "recover" the already-sold mugs.

However, by that time, we had earned a pile of money, so we did nothing for the rest of the semester and still made more profit that the next five JA businesses combined. However, we were denied the "award" for being the best performing business because we did not make an "approved" product.

Screw that. We divided the $$ and left satisfied, having learned exactly what we were supposed to learn from JA and more besides.

You sir, are my hero. And This does exemplify why our work force fails at making worthwhile goods. USA? CHINAS OK.