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(Huffington Post)   Air Force: We're no longer investigating UFOs. Reporter: Then why do Air Force personnel still have instructions on how to deal with them? Air Force: If you could just keep your eyes on this standard issue neuralyzer   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, air forces, UFO, NORAD, base commander, ICBM  
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11355 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Oct 2011 at 8:59 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



134 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-10-20 12:22:51 AM  
More about alien hair dude:

Link (new window)

Link (new window)
 
2011-10-20 12:41:04 AM  

Hassan Ben Sobr: You can't prove it didn't happen!


i14.photobucket.com

 
2011-10-20 01:58:54 AM  
Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? The powers that be damn well know we've been under observation and study for hundreds and probably thousands of years. Admitting to this would stop civilization in its tracks while everybody recalibrates to the new admitted reality, so they don't want to do that. Luckily for them the curious about this issue are directed to and kept in an amusingly hokey UFO community populated mainly by obvious charlatans and hoaxers. Your search for truth ends in a figurative big room with every other poor sucker who had a question about something they saw. The thing you saw in the sky answers it's own question.

Yeah, I know, millions of LY away.....impossible......not interested in a bunch of dirt scratchers...etc. People that say things like that sure know an awful lot about a universe that will support civilizations many millions of years older than our own that could have been crossing the galaxy to commute to work when we were in a tree in a rift valley in Africa. But, it's a lot, lot easier to just consign the believers to that big loony bin and go on with your life. Or it is, until your first encounter.
 
2011-10-20 02:00:22 AM  
it's all coming down.

lol
 
2011-10-20 02:11:48 AM  

BuckTurgidson: Hassan Ben Sobr: You can't prove it didn't happen!

[i14.photobucket.com image 400x304]

Just as I predicted!
 
rka
2011-10-20 02:20:20 AM  

cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.


Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?
 
2011-10-20 02:56:44 AM  

Sid_6.7: PlatypusPuke: Then I asked him about the Malmstrom incident, as he was working on top secret missile stuff at the time. He stopped laughing, and said they had no idea what the fark that was, but it certainly rattled a LOT of brass.

Our tech? Us, for sure. Ancient alien funny hair man? Likely not. UFOs disabling nuclear missiles, however?

Or someone thought they saw a flying saucer, and coincidentally at the same time there was some sort of genuine, normal problem with the missile system of an unknown origin. Because hey, the only thing that could cause a massive, complex system of electronics to act in an unexpected fashion for a brief period would be a flying saucer, right? Yeah, or not.


Well, first, there were someoneS. Not just some random jaggoff high on drugs. One other guy was the one in charge of the codes themselves, and also a couple of other officers and engineers -- all willing to testify before congress. Because, you know, 10 (or so) nuclear missiles going "off-line" is sort of a BFD to national security.

Second, they planned for damage mitigation to prevent all the missiles from firing off at once on accident by placing them on their own grids, as is were, and each one had their own separate circuitry and codes from one another. They were isolated.

Third, nothing else malfunctioned, so it wasn't environmental. (emp, storm, etc) These missiles were surgically disabled.

So, either something with amazing technological prowess hosed our ability to launch nuclear missiles, OR, the military saw fit to allow hallucinating lunatics to remain in charge of said nuclear missiles.

So, yeah, HAHAHA THAT GUYS HAIR AN ALIENS LOLZ

Real funny shiat there.
 
2011-10-20 03:12:48 AM  

rka: cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.

Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?


yep, just some boozy ultra-xians reporting ezekiel's wheel

probably just a rabbit
 
2011-10-20 04:25:53 AM  

cmunic8r99: I think HuffPo is on crack if they think an AFI was edited, approved, and signed by the right people in four days - especially when two of them were on a weekend.


This!
 
2011-10-20 05:30:07 AM  

cig-mkr: Scully, YUM


WHAT`S WRONG WITH HER HEAD?

Oh, she`s canadian.
 
2011-10-20 06:22:34 AM  

Dr.Knockboots: You won't believe me.. but in case you do..

1995/1996, Barksdale AFB, LA.
I was working a job as a young Airman that also entailed answering the base operator phone after hours (we'll say it's 11pmish).
I get a call from two other bases, including the Little Rock command post.. asking us if our CP is in,


Ok.
 
2011-10-20 07:41:22 AM  
I believe there is already a group that handles UFO investigations

cdn.steampowered.com

/hot like Elerium-115
 
2011-10-20 07:55:04 AM  

farkin_Gary: Time is not relative.


www.teslasociety.com

Disagrees...
 
2011-10-20 07:58:17 AM  
I'm willing to accept the possibility that Earth is being visited by alien spacecraft.

However, this "lots of stars" = "alien life out there" = "we are being visited" argument that I keep on hearing seems to be missing some steps between "alien life out there" and "we are being visited".
 
2011-10-20 08:09:49 AM  

D_S_W: Dr.Knockboots: You won't believe me.. but in case you do..

1995/1996, Barksdale AFB, LA.
I was working a job as a young Airman that also entailed answering the base operator phone after hours (we'll say it's 11pmish).
I get a call from two other bases, including the Little Rock command post.. asking us if our CP is in,


Ok.


Pretty sure in this context it refers to Command Post.
 
2011-10-20 08:47:21 AM  

MythDragon: I believe there is already a group that handles UFO investigations

cdn.steampowered.com

/hot like Elerium-115


Well, that brought back memories....
 
2011-10-20 08:50:14 AM  

hawcian: Sim Tree: Considering that they deleted almost 100 other pages of crap besides, they were probably just editing the manual right then, and they took that section out with the other no-longer-necessary sections.

Honestly, what is more reasonable?

A) The Air Force was already revising their manual (in fact, probably finished) when the Huffington Post decided for whatever reason to ask them why they have a section on UFOs. When asked directly, the Air Force explained that it's actually NORAD's job to investigate UFO activity, which is born out in the original manual which specifically calls for a report to NORAD.

OR

B) The Huffington Post managed to innocently stumble upon the greatest conspiracy ever concocted, and, in a panic, the Air Force revised a 100+ page document down to 40 pages just to cover up the fact that they had procedures for UFO sightings in their manual, which no one had ever managed to figure out despite being a public document until HuffPo. And the Air Force did all that revising in the span of four farking days.


Guess which one conspiracy theorey 'tards think is the most 'logical'?
 
2011-10-20 09:03:34 AM  
deep fried twinkies are rough. candy bars too.
 
2011-10-20 09:48:27 AM  
I saw some when I was in the USAF.

I investigated one and what the little lights in the sky turned out to be in broad daylight was airborn bits of white paper blown to a high altitude in the dessert, then falling as it hit the area over a mountain range, and catching the sun light and reflecting back to earth. Had to run up a mountain to get closer, and eventually found buts of charred mail.
People on the desert floor were reporting sparkling lights from unseen aircraft.

Other ones I didn't investigate, but were more than likey cause by terrestial phenomenon.

I'll tell you all about the story of the alien we kept locked up in the old underground bunker in Monzano mountain another time.
 
2011-10-20 10:29:17 AM  

MythDragon: I believe there is already a group that handles UFO investigations

[cdn.steampowered.com image 600x375]

/hot like Elerium-115


Ugh - unarmored untrained newbs with standard issue gear. My money's on the aliens.
 
2011-10-20 10:32:09 AM  
HuffPo and subby are clearly quite ignorant on how the military works. I bet the next question they asked was this:

Since 1991, we're no longer really preparing for war with Russia. Reporter: Then why do Air Force personnel still have plans on how to attack them?
 
2011-10-20 11:05:03 AM  
Given the UFO stories on here I'll post my own which is a clear example of how the brain can mislead us.

I woke up at night and saw this red light dancing around. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. There was no way it could be a UFO, though--this was indoors. Once I finally realized it was the indicator light on the smoke alarm it quit dancing around. The dancing was purely an illusion caused by the lack of any points of reference.
 
2011-10-20 11:20:10 AM  

MythDragon: I believe there is already a group that handles UFO investigations


What game is that? I love old games! (don't give me shiat, I'm 45 and remember when Space Invaders in arcades was the epitome of cool. Arcades...remember those?)
 
2011-10-20 11:44:44 AM  

GregoryD: I like what Neil deGrasse Tyson says about UFOs.


Neil is awesome, thanks for the link!
 
2011-10-20 12:21:04 PM  
We are not advanced enough and we have to reach that level of advancement through our own means. That is all I will say on the matter.
 
2011-10-20 12:57:04 PM  

cherrydog: rka: cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.

Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?

yep, just some boozy ultra-xians reporting ezekiel's wheel

probably just a rabbit


I'm sorry, a bunch of people who say they saw something isn't really evidence.

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence"

We don't have that yet.
 
rka
2011-10-20 01:27:12 PM  

cherrydog: rka: cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.

Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?

yep, just some boozy ultra-xians reporting ezekiel's wheel

probably just a rabbit


The point is appealing to the authority of "nuclear missile site staff" as some impeachable source by virtue of their job title is not very convincing. They're not less likely to be mistaken, drunk or crazy than anyone else.
 
2011-10-20 01:51:31 PM  
Humanity isn't alone because aliens don't exist.

Humanity is alone because we're so damn uninteresting.

weknowmemes.com
 
2011-10-20 02:45:38 PM  

Big Man On Campus: Humanity isn't alone because aliens don't exist.

Humanity is alone because we're so damn uninteresting a bunch of psychotic bastards who constantly beam images into space of us destroying the alien invaders.

 
2011-10-20 06:14:11 PM  

rka: cherrydog: rka: cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.

Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?

yep, just some boozy ultra-xians reporting ezekiel's wheel

probably just a rabbit

The point is appealing to the authority of "nuclear missile site staff" as some impeachable source by virtue of their job title is not very convincing. They're not less likely to be mistaken, drunk or crazy than anyone else.


stay asleep, citizen
 
2011-10-20 09:37:32 PM  
If something had actually taken the time to cross space, do you really think they'd just vanish? Since, you know, space is so big that it would take them multiple generations to get here?

Yeeeah, I don't think we've ever met real aliens.

/Do think the Air Force is paranoid enough to do this.
 
rka
2011-10-21 03:33:08 PM  

cherrydog: rka: cherrydog: rka: cherrydog: GregoryD: It is smart not investigating every drunken report of lights in the sky. It is a waste of time. Having a contingency plan in case one lands on the white house lawn, I'd say is preparation.

right, all those drunken air force and airline pilots and nuclear missile site staff. stupid boozy rednecks, the lot of them.

Ever met any nuclear missile site staff? I have.

The officers with the keys and whatnot were more likely than not to have been ultra-religious. They probably reported a burning bush and Ezekial's Wheel too. At the very least they went home and made the wife and kids kneel down and pray about the whole thing. The maintenance personnel probably *were* drunk, despite your sarcasm. Spent many a night in the bar when a few pagers would go off and a host of airmen and Staff Sgts "on-call" would run out the door looking paniced. Not that anything more than a rabbit had tripped some alarm out in bum fark frozen North Dakota wheat field, but hey, they had to go out and fix the damn thing, -30F below or not. Now how to hide the booze on their breath from the LT?

yep, just some boozy ultra-xians reporting ezekiel's wheel

probably just a rabbit

The point is appealing to the authority of "nuclear missile site staff" as some impeachable source by virtue of their job title is not very convincing. They're not less likely to be mistaken, drunk or crazy than anyone else.

stay asleep, citizen


You have reading comprehension problems. No where have I indicated my belief in "UFOs" or not. You have no idea where I stand on that issue. You think you do because you like playing "read between the lines" on the Internet.

I just don't think nuke jockeys are unimpeachable sources of authority on the issue.


/fool
 
2011-10-21 08:02:15 PM  

One Bad Apple: Indubitably:

Wow.

You are small and moroffic than moronic.

Digest that.

P.S. Thanks for the adulation, but yer totem is more emblematic of your struggle, rather than mine, I think.

I'm having trouble digesting the "moroffic" part.

What makes you think aliens will like you any more than we do ?

You will never get to bang the Martian hooker with three tits. You are stuck here like everyone else.


Whut?

You write like you're telling/teaching me something I don't already know. In public school, I'd have tuned you out by now. Aliens like me? WTF does that have to do with anything? You much? I don't give a shiat.

Ish.

fark off.

You have little mind to do much other than parrot others.

Polly want a fark-off?

;)
 
2011-10-21 08:03:46 PM  

Big Man On Campus: Humanity isn't alone because aliens don't exist.

Humanity is alone because we're so damn uninteresting.

[weknowmemes.com image 600x848]


Wrong.

Everyone and everything is interesting, yo.

That is life.

Learn it now or later.

Period.
 
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