So we just put the word 'zombie' in the H/L and get and instagreen?

Nah... find a really fat chick. Odds are, she knows where food supplies are, you can fark her, then leave her for the zombies to feast on while you run away.

So... never?

Fark that. I want the chick who can use a crossbow, or, barring that, one who's very light that I can throw at an approaching zombie to give myself those key extra seconds.

As long as she can't run faster than me it's all good.

/That way I don't have to be able to out run the zombies, just her.

Pud: I don't have to be able to out run the zombies, just her.

Kicks hot chick in the knee

A chainsaw is a poor weapon against a zombie. It's heavy, unwieldy, noisy (thereby drawing other zombies' attention), and, once it runs out of gas, it practically useless. Get a good 12-gauge if you're a good shot, as well as a crowbar that's sharpened on one end.

And it's not about whether or not your date can watch your back or save your ass. It's whether or not they can fend for themselves. I think not having to worry about your date's well-being is FAR more important than if he or she can help you out in a jam.

/The hardest part about the impending Zombie Apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited about it.

brigid_fitch: /The hardest part about the impending Zombie Apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited about it.

Why do you think I'm in this thread?

brigid_fitch: A chainsaw is a poor weapon against a zombie. It's heavy, unwieldy, noisy (thereby drawing other zombies' attention), and, once it runs out of gas, it practically useless. Get a good 12-gauge if you're a good shot, as well as a crowbar that's sharpened on one end.

And it's not about whether or not your date can watch your back or save your ass. It's whether or not they can fend for themselves. I think not having to worry about your date's well-being is FAR more important than if he or she can help you out in a jam.

/The hardest part about the impending Zombie Apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited about it.

I think I'd prefer a 24" kukri to the crowbar. Still, this is one of the things that I don't get about The Walking Dead. I understand how in something like Dawn of the Dead that you might not have time to stock up, but if you've had as long to get around as those folks, go to a farking Army surplus, hardware or sporting goods store.

Everyone gets a machete or an axe and carries it at all times. Load up on fuel cans for gasoline, propane tanks and other camping equipment. Get yourself some sturdy clothes, BDUs are good. Get a pair well fitting boots, socks, long underwear. Prepare motherfarkers, don't just run around waiting for shiat to happen to you.

And you don't need to do this in the middle of downtown Atlanta. There's a sporting goods store every three blocks in the Georgia suburbs, and they've got anything you might need.

/if you can find a good one, a saber or katana would work, too

Sorry, I prefer bows and crossbows.

foo monkey: Ew, a dude writing for thefrisky.com? Take away his man card.

Why did I just mentally hear this post in a theatrical lisping voice?

rudemix: Interesting.

/this is not a bookmark
//to come back later and see if the typical zombie threadshiatters show up

Zombies are impossible. There, is that what you wanted?

The closest thing to a real zombie I can imagine is someone who suddenly goes off medication for some kind of mental illness. But then, the schizoids were let out of the mental institutes and off their meds decades ago (don't just blame Ronnie, the ACLU thought it was better that way too), and it hasn't resulted in the apocalypse.

brigid_fitch: A chainsaw is a poor weapon against a zombie. It's heavy, unwieldy, noisy (thereby drawing other zombies' attention), and, once it runs out of gas, it practically useless. Get a good 12-gauge if you're a good shot, as well as a crowbar that's sharpened on one end.

good advice on the chainsaw, but I'd say skip the 12 gauge, and get a good semi-automatic rifle with good stopping power. Like the M1-Carbine or M1-Garand.

Practical_Draconian: Shotguns tend to work well against low to midlevel demons, use the pistol or chaingun on zombie hordes.

against zombies, more dakka just winds up with you out of ammo quicker. all you need is one well placed headshot and you're on to the next shambling corpse.

/against orks I use a mars-pattern bolter.

Farker Soze: M1 Carbine, sure, but Garand? Why would you need that much firepower? A suppressed M4 converted to .22LR would handle a slow zombie or ten, and you could carry thousands of rounds at once.

i'm thinking it would be easy to load, reliable, accurate. Obviously there are probably better ones out there, that's just one I used as an example.

Already got one. She can skin a deer too.

foo monkey: FunkOut: foo monkey: Ew, a dude writing for thefrisky.com? Take away his man card.

Why did I just mentally hear this post in a theatrical lisping voice?

I dunno. Projecting?

No, I sound like a female Liam Neeson.