Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WESH Orlando)   "My Mom isn't a very smart alcoholic" - Wait... you mean alcohol makes people not smart?   (wesh.com) divider line 41
    More: Florida  
•       •       •

4694 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Oct 2011 at 12:33 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-10-19 11:15:06 AM  
Wow. Just ............ wow.
 
2011-10-19 11:24:42 AM  
Oh lisa, you and your stories. Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells...
 
2011-10-19 11:31:30 AM  
Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.
 
2011-10-19 11:35:03 AM  

Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.


i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*
 
2011-10-19 11:43:26 AM  

thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*


Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.
 
2011-10-19 11:46:29 AM  

thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*


Actually, that's a popular misnomer among people that drink and drive - many people actually think that they do drive better when they have had a couple of drinks.

The exact opposite is true, of course.

I shouldn't have made light of it.
 
2011-10-19 11:48:15 AM  

Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*

Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.


oof, sorry i was just taking an opportunity to be generally misogynistic.
 
2011-10-19 12:01:46 PM  

thomps: Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*

Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.

oof, sorry i was just taking an opportunity to be generally misogynistic.


That's okay. I know what I did, and will never do it again, that's for sure.
 
2011-10-19 12:05:22 PM  
From TFA:

where they had attended a Blue Oyster Cult concert

Wait, they're still around?

/No wonder Mom was drunk
 
2011-10-19 12:06:59 PM  

Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*

Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.

oof, sorry i was just taking an opportunity to be generally misogynistic.

That's okay. I know what I did, and will never do it again, that's for sure.


the best thing about moving to chicago for me was selling the car and never having to worry about getting myself home from the bars. i made a lot of dumb post-bar driving decisions before that. just not worth it.
 
2011-10-19 12:08:40 PM  

Brandyelf: From TFA:

where they had attended a Blue Oyster Cult concert

Wait, they're still around?

/No wonder Mom was drunk


literally the only thing i know about that band is that they continue on without fear of the inevitability of things eventually coming to an end.
 
2011-10-19 12:15:54 PM  
Well, you see, subby, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, subby, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
 
2011-10-19 12:36:53 PM  
where they had attended a Blue Oyster Cult concert


 
2011-10-19 12:37:01 PM  
More cowbell?
 
2011-10-19 12:38:18 PM  
What's with the random slide show in the middle of an article?
 
2011-10-19 12:38:32 PM  
Personally, i'm an alcoholic genius.
 
2011-10-19 12:40:38 PM  
Blue Oyster Cult responsible for another failed suicide attempt. Don't fear the reaper indeed.
 
2011-10-19 12:41:15 PM  
Good that we can mock this family's tragedy.
 
2011-10-19 12:41:35 PM  

ArkAngel: Well, you see, subby, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, subby, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.


Thank you.

www.examiner.com
 
2011-10-19 12:41:56 PM  

doubled99: Personally, i'm an alcoholic genius.


And it shows.
 
2011-10-19 12:42:25 PM  
Well that sucks, I didn't even know BOC was playing.
 
2011-10-19 12:42:30 PM  
assuming his mom is a woman, the not being smart part is implied.

obamadidcoke: Good that we can mock this family's tragedy.


If we cant, who can?
 
2011-10-19 12:45:16 PM  

Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*

Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.


Six months for a 1st DUI? I had one, ONE, and had to pay $1200 or so for fine and additional insurance on my car. No jail time though. But this is WI.
 
2011-10-19 12:45:52 PM  

Jake Havechek: where they had attended a Blue Oyster Cult concert


Who takes the family to see BOC? It's not Disney on Ice.

Let mom & dad have some alone time and relive their younger days. What's the point of dragging the 15-year-old along?
 
2011-10-19 12:46:03 PM  
FTFA: Siciliano is charged with domestic battery, child abuse without great harm, resisting arrest without violence and three counts of battery on a law enforcement officer.

How is there not a DUI charge in there?
 
2011-10-19 12:46:13 PM  
looks like somebodys PO found their new name on this site and is monitoring.

joking!
 
2011-10-19 12:46:22 PM  

Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*

Of course I was joking.

I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.

I will NEVER drink and drive again.

oof, sorry i was just taking an opportunity to be generally misogynistic.

That's okay. I know what I did, and will never do it again, that's for sure.


So you're okay with misogyny? Cool!
 
2011-10-19 12:47:21 PM  
I heard it made Bud Wiser.
 
2011-10-19 12:47:29 PM  

FrancoFile: Jake Havechek: where they had attended a Blue Oyster Cult concert

Who takes the family to see BOC? It's not Disney on Ice.

Let mom & dad have some alone time and relive their younger days. What's the point of dragging the 15-year-old along?


Designated 911 caller?
 
2011-10-19 12:51:49 PM  
Blue Oyster Cult, funny mugshots, wreckless driving, alcoholism, violence, quotable 911 calls - this story has a little bit of everything.

Only in Florida!
 
2011-10-19 12:52:04 PM  
Damn subby, that's kind of harsh to talk about your Mom like that.
 
2011-10-19 12:52:31 PM  
Grables'Daughter 2011-10-19 12:41:56 PM

doubled99: Personally, i'm an alcoholic genius.

And it shows.




muchos gracias amiga
 
2011-10-19 12:55:04 PM  
Mom's a poster child for DAMM
 
2011-10-19 01:14:27 PM  

FrancoFile: Let mom & dad have some alone time and relive their younger days. What's the point of dragging the 15-year-old along?


Or at least she needs to catch up with the times. It's totally cool now to let the kids drive down to about age 9 if you're shiatfaced. 15 is more than old enough.
 
2011-10-19 01:30:26 PM  
FTFA - Dispatchers said the teen told them Siciliano started punching his father in the face.


Wait, so there was one other adult in the car? Why wasn't HE driving? Or was he drunk as well?


/Kid did the right thing.
//Damn lucky no one was killed.
 
2011-10-19 01:33:00 PM  
FTFA: Siciliano is charged with domestic battery, child abuse without great harm, resisting arrest without violence and three counts of battery on a law enforcement officer.

See? I KNEW going to see BOC led to this. That's why I'll wait and take the kids to .38 Special instead.
 
2011-10-19 01:35:07 PM  
At least the dude in yesterday's story was smart enough to know he was too drunk to drive and had his 9 yr old drive him
 
2011-10-19 01:58:47 PM  
Missing Archer reference.

/leaving dissapoint
 
2011-10-19 02:03:28 PM  

thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*


+1 would LOL again
 
2011-10-19 02:37:36 PM  
Some of the mugshots are better stories like, "woman breaks into in-Laws house and beats their dog to death with a baseball bat". Bat shiat crazy and well, kind of hot.
 
2011-10-20 02:18:06 PM  

Grables'Daughter: thomps: Grables'Daughter: Not smarter, but alcohol does make me a better driver when I've had a couple of drinks.

i know you're joking but that's really irresponsible. women driving *shudder*
Of course I was joking.
I was sentenced to six months in jail for a DUI. I did 90 days with good behavior.
I will NEVER drink and drive again.


I'm hoping it was the kind of women's Sexy Jail that I've seen on TV?

/Seriously though, how did your 90 days go? Any stories stand out for you?
//Please don't shiv us
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report