The Onion is prophetic: Sheriff Primus?

I heard he sucks.

The Onion is prophetic: Sheriff Primus?

Wow. I know I'm stupid, but that article meant almost nothing to me. They need to describe what happened, and who was on who's side much better.

FTA: A group of more than 30 Hancock players attacked Warren players, said Carey.

"Our players had nowhere to go, and felt like they had to defend themselves," said Carey.

Daniels tried to intervene and was "smashed in the face with a helmet," said Carey.

Coach needs to teach his team better defense than that.

Glass. Parking. Lot.

Hancock Central High School Football

Lot of good prospects for the SEC here.

DavidVincent: [images.maxpreps.com.edgesuite.net image 617x400]

Hancock Central High School Football

Lot of good prospects for the SEC DOC here.

FTFY

Daniels was hospitalized with head injuries and has undergone major reconstructive surgery to his face, including crushed bones above and below his eye.

I am sure the young lad will turn his life around and have a brilliant career at Alabama.

wtf? where the hell was the hancock county coach? why weren't his players going to their locker room rather than searching for prey? never mind the use of a helmet as a weapon...that's a step beyond any line.

The home team got beaten on their homecoming night? The game where you're supposed to try and guarantee a win so you can have a celebratory homecoming? They sound like bad players; no wonder they wanted to get their inferiority complex implanted into someone's skull.

No arrests despite witnesses. Sheriff Primus, put down your can or pork soda and interview those witnesses!

or of

/it's midnight
//should go to bed

Disapproves of these shenanigans.



/hot like Hayes' head

dontbreakthebend: Dr. Frisbee: Wow. I know I'm stupid, but that article meant almost nothing to me. They need to describe what happened, and who was on who's side much better.

I had the same problem. I had to go through it about 3 times.
Here is what happened:
Visiting team wins. Home team is angry because it is their homecoming game. Home team locks visiting team out of the looker room. Home team attacks visiting team. Visting coach gets face smashed by home player's helmet. Tim Riggins plots revenge.

Thanks for the recap. Too bad the original writer figured we knew many of the facts when he/she wrote it. Sucks for the coach, and that is bad sportsmanship. I hope he is alright.

Genju: The home team got beaten on their homecoming night? The game where you're supposed to try and guarantee a win so you can have a celebratory homecoming? They sound like bad players; no wonder they wanted to get their inferiority complex implanted into someone's skull.

No arrests despite witnesses. Sheriff Primus, put down your can or pork soda and interview those witnesses!

Eh, not always. My old high school usually scheduled our biggest rival for our homecoming game, it seems like this school did the same thing.

dontbreakthebend: Dr. Frisbee: Wow. I know I'm stupid, but that article meant almost nothing to me. They need to describe what happened, and who was on who's side much better.

I had the same problem. I had to go through it about 3 times.
Here is what happened:
Visiting team wins. Home team is angry because it is their homecoming game. Home team locks visiting team out of the looker room. Home team attacks visiting team. Visting coach gets face smashed by home player's helmet. Tim Riggins plots revenge.

So the home team is forfeiting the season, suspending football for X amount of time, firing the coach or "BOYS WILL BE BOYS LOL"?

I submitted this with a better headline.

/Really, submitter, you let the fact that the town's name was Sparta escape? Madness!

Vega.: I submitted this with a better headline.

/Really, submitter, you let the fact that the town's name was Sparta escape? Madness!

Primus, Sparta, So much to work with here.

I love how the sheriff says "apparently they have all the facts and we don't" all smugly when the "facts" in this case are that the coach is in the hospital with a broken face.

Sounds like tryouts for the Eagles to me.

Electromax: I love how the sheriff says "apparently they have all the facts and we don't" all smugly when the "facts" in this case are that the coach is in the hospital with a broken face.

If you ponder relations it's not surprising. It is the south, after all. The sheriff is probably related to the Hancock coach and/or players. It's easier to believe that, then to believe a paid governmental LEO let something so stupid come out in public. It's like the bad guy quote from the next Walking Tall movie or something.

Violence against an authority figure from that group of gentlemen? NO WAY! They just needed to "defend themselves" against this guy:

enik: [www.amren.com image 617x400]

Violence against an authority figure from that group of gentlemen? NO WAY! They just needed to "defend themselves" against this guy:

[www.amren.com image 294x198]

Yeah. What's the controversy? Those defenseless children were just protecting themselves the only way they could against a middle-aged MacGruber look-alike.

So far we have:

Team that attempted to murder someone:


The Victim:


The Sheriff that is blocking the investigation:


What we're not supposed to see or talk about:

OnlyM3: So far we have:

Team that attempted to murder someone:
[www.amren.com image 617x400]

The Victim:
[www.amren.com image 294x198]

The Sheriff that is blocking the investigation:
[i54.tinypic.com image 159x204]

What we're not supposed to see or talk about:
[geopolicraticus.files.wordpress.com image 317x249]

I'm sure had the colors of the participants been reversed, race would be as absent from the conversation as it is now. Wouldn't it?

/it wouldn't

OnlyM3: So far we have:

Team that attempted to murder someone:
[www.amren.com image 617x400]

The Victim:
[www.amren.com image 294x198]

The Sheriff that is blocking the investigation:
[i54.tinypic.com image 159x204]

What we're not supposed to see or talk about:
[geopolicraticus.files.wordpress.com image 317x249]

Somebody's a Yankee.

Welcome to rural Georgia. Where nothing is more important than high school football.

Dr. Frisbee: Wow. I know I'm stupid, but that article meant almost nothing to me. They need to describe what happened, and who was on who's side much better.

Seriously, what shiatty writing. I got that there was a football game, somebody won it 21-2, one team got locked out of the locker room, one team attacked the other and a coach got hit by a helmet, evidently belonging to a player on one of the teams. I accept the explanation by dontbreakthebend as most plausible.

Rapmaster2000:
Welcome to rural Georgia. Where nothing is more important than high school football.

We kind of see that as a problem too, Georgia.

No wonder they like football so much in the South. Their writing programs suck.

Followup: Coach's wife says there is no brain damage. High school football coaches don't make a lot. Hope they can raise some money for his medical bills.

rudemix: I'm sure had the colors of the participants been reversed, race would be as absent from the conversation as it is now. Wouldn't it?

/it wouldn't

Hey, if the races were reversed at least we'd all start getting October 17th off for the new national "remembrance and reflection day"!

rjakobi: Rapmaster2000:
Welcome to rural Georgia. Where nothing is more important than high school football.

We kind of see that as a problem too, Georgia.

If they're found culpable, they should ban the football program for 5 years.

enad58: Genju: The home team got beaten on their homecoming night? The game where you're supposed to try and guarantee a win so you can have a celebratory homecoming? They sound like bad players; no wonder they wanted to get their inferiority complex implanted into someone's skull.

No arrests despite witnesses. Sheriff Primus, put down your can or pork soda and interview those witnesses!

Eh, not always. My old high school usually scheduled our biggest rival for our homecoming game, it seems like this school did the same thing.

Or you can have a dumbass AD and schedule the defending state champs for Homecoming and get smoked 68-0.

enik: rudemix: I'm sure had the colors of the participants been reversed, race would be as absent from the conversation as it is now. Wouldn't it?

/it wouldn't

Hey, if the races were reversed at least we'd all start getting October 17th off for the new national "remembrance and reflection day"!


*snicker*

OnlyM3: So far we have:

Team that attempted to murder someone:
[www.amren.com image 617x400]

The Victim:
[www.amren.com image 294x198]

The Sheriff that is blocking the investigation:
[i54.tinypic.com image 159x204]

What we're not supposed to see or talk about:
[geopolicraticus.files.wordpress.com image 317x249]

Sums it up well.....

NASAM: enad58: Genju: The home team got beaten on their homecoming night? The game where you're supposed to try and guarantee a win so you can have a celebratory homecoming? They sound like bad players; no wonder they wanted to get their inferiority complex implanted into someone's skull.

No arrests despite witnesses. Sheriff Primus, put down your can or pork soda and interview those witnesses!

Eh, not always. My old high school usually scheduled our biggest rival for our homecoming game, it seems like this school did the same thing.

Or you can have a dumbass AD and schedule the defending state champs for Homecoming and get smoked 68-0.

My senior year, I heard about a D5 team in San Diego getting raped 98-0. Apparently, the visiting coach really hated the home coach and was doing onside kicks well into the 4th quarter.