Not too much to update this week; going to be trying to be caught up through October for Mainpage headlines by the end of this month, and I'm trying to also get the subtab stuff taken care of, too. I'll probably be into those in November trying to get things sorted out.

In the meantime, here are some headlines for y'all. Cheers

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-10-09 to Sat 2011-10-15:

  Man dies when he falls off yacht and is chopped up by propellers. Those who knew him said he made a fine chum    

  Expert suggests elbowing people instead of shaking hands, to prevent spreading flu. Noted etiquette expert Wayne Gretzky agrees    

  Sixteen zombies hurt after platform collapse. Authories say injuries are not life-threatening    

  Five paintings, stolen by thief named "Spiderman" and worth $135 million, including works by Picasso, Matisse and Modigliano, may have been accidentally destroyed by Garbage Man, Garbage Man, who crushed the art in a garbage can    

  Japanese company will make a hyper-realistic 3-D mask of your face, accurate down to the individual pores and eye vasculature for a mere 4-6k. You know, in case you wanted to go out as a rich, creepy, narcissist this Halloween    

  404,000 error: Jobs not found    

  Climate change may destroy the world's coffee supply. It may not seem like a big deal now, but sooner or later you're going to want to sober up    

  Seamen leaving ferries in Greek ports    

  Police are hunting a Segway user who witnessed a sex attack. In other news, a Segway user has witnessed sex    

  New Jersey approves deer contraceptive. Stag parties will never be the same    

  ♫ Walked out this morning, Don't believe what I saw, Twelve Somali pirates knocking on my door ♫ I'll send an SOS to the world, I'll send an SOS to the world, I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle ♫  


Sports:

  Andy Murray defeats Rafa Nadal 3-6 6-2 6-0 to capture the No Shiat They're Still Playing Tennis In October Open    

  Rangers take a pounding from Fister, unable to clinch    

  Brock Lesnar says he's open to "one last match" before dedicating the rest of his life searching the globe for his neck    


Geek:

  Professor uses chocolate to teach calculus. Can we learn about the value of pie while we're at it?    

  Is_dead($who) { return(strcmp($who, 'Dennis Ritchie')); }    

  91% of all U.S. kids now play video games. 9% unavailable due to scheduled carpal tunnel surgery    


Entertainment:

  Fonzie's motorcycle from "Happy Days" to be sold at auction. Potential buyers encouraged to sit on it    

  Kate Beckinsale is 38, on a scale from 1 to 10    

  Emmy award winning journalist Anderson Cooper tackles one of the hard issues on his new daytime show: Psychic addiction. But first, on Springer: Jerry interviews former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski    


Politics:

  Christie to jump on Mitt Romney bandwagon, which hopefully has been structurally reinforced    

  "Orlando Unveils Barack Obama Parkway." It runs in an endless loop, cost $4 trillion, has quicksand in the median and the only exit is straight into the ocean    

  Herman Cain's tax plan is based on SimCity, which explains his pro-llama agenda    


Business:

  Netflix promises never to do that again. Claims it was drunk. Please, baby, come back    

  Chevy introduces the Camaro ZL1, the most powerful Camaro convertible ever. And it comes in gray so it will match your mullet    

  The drop-off in foreclosures killed off the main source of income for Florida's court system, putting it on the brink of bankruptcy and necessitating an emergency $45m loan. Ironic tag robosigns an affidavit with Florida tag's signature    
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