Carolyn Hax...I'd hax it. 0MG H4X

Darth_Lukecash: Actually, she's right on the money. She's just an advice columnist who only knows what someone writes to her about. She's not a therapist.

Certain things are too personal-and some issues need to be talked about before taking a dramatic step.

So, she can only answer questions like:
How long should a ribbon be when tying a ponytail on my daughter?
How can you distinguish the 'left' sock from the 'right' one?
How many douchebags do you have to date until you figure out that the problem is you?

That's not what she said -- she said she doesn't advise people to take specific courses of action, like getting married or divorced, or adopting or not adopting.

Hey, don't knock her. Remember, she only gets one side of the story, and an abbreviated one at that. To me anyway, her advice and suggestions nearly always sound rational, thoughtful and respectful.

coco ebert: Um, didn't read it too carefully, but it seems like she's saying you have to be careful with dishing out advice on sensitive topics because everyone's situation is different. Certain topics like general etiquette or work relationships for instance, might be more amenable to general advice whereas others require careful thought and negotiation on the part of the parties involved.

If people didn't want advice on a sensitive topic from a stranger, why would they write to an advice columnist and ask in the first place?

theflatline: If you can put your dick in it you can put a coathanger in it.

/all the sex advice a guy ever needs.

Do people ever ask you why you are walking around with a coathanger in your underwear?

jshine: coco ebert: Um, didn't read it too carefully, but it seems like she's saying you have to be careful with dishing out advice on sensitive topics because everyone's situation is different. Certain topics like general etiquette or work relationships for instance, might be more amenable to general advice whereas others require careful thought and negotiation on the part of the parties involved.

If people didn't want advice on a sensitive topic from a stranger, why would they write to an advice columnist and ask in the first place?

people don't know what they want.

Sounds like a very smart woman...which is a good thing. Right Farkers?

timujin: what_now: holy shiat- the second letter equals divorce.

Or falcon punch, one of the two.

Why? I mean, if you're stupid enough to put babby batter in there, don't biatch when a fresh baked babby pops out.

If you are a man and you're sure that you don't want kids, get snipped

While I agree that if the couple decides not to have any more children, the guy should get snipped as it's a much less intrusive procedure than a hysterectomy (in most cases). But you've flipped the roles here.

He only said he made it clear that he didn't want to have any more kids. He didn't say that they discussed it and she agreed, then went behind his back to get pregnant.

If they did not both agree that they weren't having any more children and he got snipped, he's just made a unilateral, likely irreversible decision. Just like she did, although yes, her decision has much more serious consequences.

It's the principal of the thing. I'm a woman and I abhor what she did to her husband. I don't blame him for being royally pissed off and if I were him, I'm not sure that I could go forward in the marriage or partnership relationship with her after losing that kind of trust and respect.

I would feel the same way if my partner got a surprise vasectomy before we had made a joint decision that we weren't going to have any more kids. Fair is fair.

Yeah, she should be like zombie Dear Abby or Ann Landers (people know those old crones died years ago, right?) and dole out the good 1970s-style advice.

If you want to know whether you should dump someone, Dan Savage will hook you up.

And if you're feeling particularly lucky, you can always ask the sages of Fark.

Nobody really wants advice they just want someone to biatch and moan too

"I figured the first one out right away, but I'm at a loss for any others, and my neighbors are now taking them in at night. So what ARE the other ways to skin a cat?"

What she said sounds perfectly reasonable to me...she only gives advice specific enough to fit the details she knows, which are going to be fairly general and skewed. She's not saying no advice on those topics ever, she's saying she won't advise people to do any of those things. Advice can consist of suggestions on how to approach an issue, not "do this".

Whale biologist.

wont_eat_bugs: Tubal ligation is much, much less invasive. And it works, too!

Duh! I don't know why I didn't think of that. Hmm, this may be something I need to explore.

I don't see anything evasive about this. Seems like a reasonable place to draw the line.

coco ebert: Um, didn't read it too carefully, but it seems like she's saying you have to be careful with dishing out advice on sensitive topics because everyone's situation is different. Certain topics like general etiquette or work relationships for instance, might be more amenable to general advice whereas others require careful thought and negotiation on the part of the parties involved.

She also doesn't want to get sued or offend anyone reading her column, for which she is paid well.
People writing to advice columnist are losers anyhow.

The My Little Pony Killer: The people fishing for permission to cheat are all writing to Dan Savage anyway.

Yep, he doesn't pull any punches.

LadyHawke: srewolf: Hey, don't knock her. Remember, she only gets one side of the story, and an abbreviated one at that. To me anyway, her advice and suggestions nearly always sound rational, thoughtful and respectful.

I completely agree. Carolyn Hax is a great advice columnist, IMO.

Second.
Especially when compared to Dear Abby, who is sounding more like The Onion's editorial page every day.

oops, third

hobblekitty: srewolf: wont_eat_bugs: Tubal ligation is much, much less invasive. And it works, too!

Duh! I don't know why I didn't think of that. Hmm, this may be something I need to explore.

Good luck trying to find a doctor who will do one if you are nulliparous and of childbearing age.

No shiat. I had aggressive cell displaysia (beginning stages of ovarian cancer) and my doc and I went 6 months back and forth. He wanted me to "make damn sure" I didn't want another one before he would schedule the hysterectomy I needed. I finally had to threaten to get another doctor to do it...I was tired of trying to convince him that I only cared about being around to raise the one I'd already spawned.

Another reason: One of the hardest letters I've read lately was from a husband who had been freed by his wife to have affairs so he could get what he needed - on a don't-ask-don't-tell basis - because she was done with sex. It didn't "solve these people's problems" at all. He was sick of skulking around, creating secrets when all along he just wanted intimacy in his marriage. For him, it was emotionally bankrupting.

That's me right there.

LadyHawke: Chinchillazilla: LadyHawke: srewolf: Hey, don't knock her. Remember, she only gets one side of the story, and an abbreviated one at that. To me anyway, her advice and suggestions nearly always sound rational, thoughtful and respectful.

I completely agree. Carolyn Hax is a great advice columnist, IMO.

Yeah, if I were going to write to one, she'd be it. She'll even tell people if they're being stupid.

I LOVE it when she calls people on their BS. And she does not pull her punches.

Hax's column is great. Candid but kind, open-minded and sensible.

I like to read quality advice columns in general. Reading about people with all manner of usual and bizarre problems, and the many solutions and coping mechanisms that come up in response, is weirdly therapeutic. It's good to consider and reconsider useful, moral ways to face the world.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Yeah, she should be like zombie Dear Abby or Ann Landers (people know those old crones died years ago, right?) and dole out the good 1970s-style advice.

If you want to know whether you should dump someone, Dan Savage will hook you up.

And if you're feeling particularly lucky, you can always ask the sages of Fark.

Dear Abby is being written by Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original Dear Abby, Pauline Phillips. On a side note, Ann Landers was Pauline Phillips' twin sister.

FYI, I'm pretty sure if you're married and you want to get yourself snipped, your wife has to sign.

/At least that's what my mom tells me.