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(MSNBC) Scary Can't sleep...wife will behead me...Can't sleep...wife will behead me...Can't sleep...wife will behead me   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 53
More: Scary, Daily Herald, Adam Everett, sleep  
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15036 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2011 at 3:16 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
AirForceVet [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 02:23:38 PM
He should have gotten snore strips.
 
ignatiusst [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 02:58:46 PM
I worry about this sometimes.
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:18:13 PM
I want to see pictures.
 
macross87
2011-10-18 03:18:56 PM
Sleeps in a scary bed resembling his wife?
 
error 303
2011-10-18 03:20:12 PM
He never saw it coming.
 
bhcompy
2011-10-18 03:20:15 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

Family portrait?
 
elev8meL8r
2011-10-18 03:20:35 PM
cowgirl toffee: I want to see pictures.

www.marnieweber.com
 
Life_is_a_carnivore [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:20:58 PM
~Paging~..... Phil Hartman.... Phil Hartman
 
2MS
2011-10-18 03:22:07 PM
<b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/comments/6655099/72462659#c72462659">cowgirl toffee</a>:</b> <i>I want to see pictures.</i>

Haven't seen you around lately.
I'm sure that you have access to some pictures.
 
DROxINxTHExWIND [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:22:48 PM
Officers who arrived at the home in Everett, Wash., say they could hear the victim shouting: "You tried to cut my head off. You're going to jail."

Lol.
 
highendmighty
2011-10-18 03:22:50 PM
No name? No mug shot? WTF?
 
Downright [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:24:08 PM
Can't sleep... wife will bed me.... Can't sleep... wife will NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
robertus
2011-10-18 03:27:06 PM
What his wife may look like

30.media.tumblr.com

/hot
 
Evil-Imposter
2011-10-18 03:31:09 PM
"You tried to cut my head off. You're going to jail."

That would make a GREAT song title.
 
xcracer
2011-10-18 03:31:39 PM
Man, I thought my wife was nuts!
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:33:01 PM
elev8meL8r: cowgirl toffee: I want to see pictures.

[www.marnieweber.com image 420x630]

More! More! More! I want more! :P
 
wish I was
2011-10-18 03:33:32 PM
I think the wife may be innocent.

Obviously the intruder is a ninja who is highly trained in stealthy egress techniques.

Good for her for defending her family like that.

I hope she gets a medal.

And a key to the city.
 
Babboonrash
2011-10-18 03:33:39 PM
How does attempted murder get knocked down to DV like that?

/Atleast now they both have "hatchet wounds"
 
DROxINxTHExWIND [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:35:02 PM
Babboonrash: How does attempted murder get knocked down to DV like that?

/Atleast now they both have "hatchet wounds"

BWhahaha!
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 03:36:36 PM
DROxINxTHExWIND: Babboonrash: How does attempted murder get knocked down to DV like that?

/Atleast now they both have "hatchet wounds"

BWhahaha!

Power hatchet?! O_o
 
belhade
2011-10-18 03:40:06 PM
I don't lose sleep over it; I have faith that my wife is competent enough to do it in one stroke so as not to wake me.
 
Omnivorous
2011-10-18 03:42:48 PM
I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.
 
macross87
2011-10-18 03:50:41 PM
Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder
 
macross87
2011-10-18 03:52:05 PM
macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

Errr. "I" = "of". Silly fat fingers and correction software.
 
offmymeds
2011-10-18 03:56:26 PM
macross87: macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

Errr. "I" = "of". Silly fat fingers and correction software.

Still...that sounds...disturbing.
 
Odd Bird
2011-10-18 03:56:29 PM
axest.com

/came for Lorena Bobbit reference
//doing it myself
 
jafiwam
2011-10-18 04:00:39 PM
Wait. Power saw to the neck and it's only "domestic violence assault" and not "attempted murder"?

Why not release her name? If it was a guy we'd have his mugshot, links to his Facebook page, where he worked and where he hung out for beer all listed in the article.

Equality my ass.
 
Babboonrash
2011-10-18 04:08:13 PM
macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

it can easily be removed with a bit of acetone (nail polish remover)

now imagine having to deal with the acetone in the urethra.

/sheesh. I'm done with trying to freak each other out.
 
sxacho
2011-10-18 04:10:21 PM
Nothing wrong with trying to get ahead.
 
macross87
2011-10-18 04:10:57 PM
Babboonrash: macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

it can easily be removed with a bit of acetone (nail polish remover)

now imagine having to deal with the acetone in the urethra.

/sheesh. I'm done with trying to freak each other out.

Depends on how deeply the superglue is inserted. Damned if you do, damned if you don't

/off to walk the shivers off
//that would hurt
 
tamsnod27
2011-10-18 04:12:25 PM
belhade: I don't lose sleep over it; I have faith that my wife is competent enough to do it in one stroke so as not to wake me.

Ah, I see my wife has been fairly represented here by some relative of hers.
 
colon_pow
2011-10-18 04:14:09 PM
my wife used to meet with the devil once a week for lessons on being evil.

i'm not sure how much she charged for the lessons...
 
Eirik
2011-10-18 04:15:16 PM
wish I was: I think the wife may be innocent.

Obviously the intruder is a ninja who is highly trained in stealthy egress techniques.

Good for her for defending her family like that.

I hope she gets a medal.

And a key to the city.

The keys to Everett, WA?

I thought there was a prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment.
 
I_AM_SRC
2011-10-18 04:16:29 PM
Also, what wife may look like..
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
Aracnix
2011-10-18 04:27:33 PM
Go to a hotel?


/just sayin'...
 
sure haven't
2011-10-18 04:28:25 PM
HELLO JOE!!
 
Yoyo
2011-10-18 04:32:45 PM
Useless w/o pic of Bart's bed.
 
Gabrielmot
2011-10-18 04:33:46 PM
macross87: Babboonrash: macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

it can easily be removed with a bit of acetone (nail polish remover)

now imagine having to deal with the acetone in the urethra.

/sheesh. I'm done with trying to freak each other out.

Depends on how deeply the superglue is inserted. Damned if you do, damned if you don't

/off to walk the shivers off
//that would hurt

While that would hurt more, it would be funnier if she superglued your hand to your penis... just *try* to explain that one in the emergency room... "No, I was *not* fapping..."
 
Handsome B. Wonderful
2011-10-18 04:38:11 PM
Dental Plan!
 
eas81
2011-10-18 04:39:35 PM
robertus: What his wife may look like

[30.media.tumblr.com image 330x500]

/hot

There can be only one!

/Clinton is one lucky bastard.
 
nativefloridian
2011-10-18 04:42:54 PM
macross87: Babboonrash: macross87: Omnivorous: I've never feared the Sawzall because my wife couldn't even find it, let alone figure out how to use it. But she's a nurse and has already threatened an application of Super Glue.

Depends on where the glue is applied depends on the amount I torture. In the urethra exit point would be bad...

/shudder

it can easily be removed with a bit of acetone (nail polish remover)

now imagine having to deal with the acetone in the urethra.

/sheesh. I'm done with trying to freak each other out.

Depends on how deeply the superglue is inserted. Damned if you do, damned if you don't

/off to walk the shivers off
//that would hurt

Heard about a wife who glued the penis to the stomach...
 
eas81
2011-10-18 04:52:16 PM
Can't be any worse:

axest.com
 
lefty201
2011-10-18 04:54:12 PM
My wife works in a hospital lab. There would be no evidence.
 
puddleonfire
2011-10-18 04:54:35 PM
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
dnoble_34
2011-10-18 05:04:17 PM
"My biggest fear, is if I let you go... You'll come and get me in my sleeeeeep."

/Better not be obscure
 
GrandDamnDeeDee
2011-10-18 05:24:58 PM
puddleonfire:

Holy Shiat!!! Was that really necessary????

//gotta start drinking NOW
 
Soup4Bonnie
2011-10-18 05:36:35 PM
How do you take a sawzall to a sleeping guy's neck and not cut his head off?
 
orclover [TotalFark]
2011-10-18 05:45:44 PM
cdn.crushable.com
obviously....

Almost cut his head off? Almost? What is buying tools at Harbor Freight?
 
puddleonfire
2011-10-18 06:26:03 PM
GrandDamnDeeDee: puddleonfire:

Holy Shiat!!! Was that really necessary????

//gotta start drinking NOW

----- HAHAHA sorry it was the best response to the oblique reference to "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me."

/just had to
 
CptnSpldng
2011-10-18 09:27:27 PM
robertus: What his wife may look like

[30.media.tumblr.com image 330x500]

/hot

There can be only one.
 
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