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(Yahoo)   Cardinals' Ulysses S. Grant look-alike throws 98 mph; Can't see jack shiat. This is bad news for Texas   (sports.yahoo.com) divider line 58
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3591 clicks; posted to Sports » on 18 Oct 2011 at 3:49 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-10-18 04:12:58 AM  
Texas sucks.

/that is all
 
2011-10-18 04:13:16 AM  
I'd love to see a blind person pitch.
 
2011-10-18 06:45:02 AM  
Pratty: I'd love to see a blind person pitch.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv2xtXSMup0
 
2011-10-18 06:54:35 AM  

det0321: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv2xtXSMup0


I suppose I should be more specific...though I actually forgot that happened.

Point, det0321.
 
2011-10-18 07:25:33 AM  
www.iwatchstuff.com
 
2011-10-18 07:57:06 AM  
So he is this year's Brian Wilson? Man, we love closers for some reason.

/ Unless the closer's name is Jose Mesa, then we hates him.
 
2011-10-18 08:03:18 AM  
does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?
 
2011-10-18 08:23:05 AM  

Pratty: I'd love to see a blind person pitch.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-10-18 08:23:22 AM  
Neftali Feliz was throwing 101+ during the ALCS.

\That is all
\\Go Rangers
 
2011-10-18 08:30:21 AM  

urban.derelict: Texas sucks.

/that is all


This maybe true... however, we are reminded daily, that no matter how bad it gets... we still haven't plummeted to the levels of Philly.

/that is all.
 
2011-10-18 08:45:11 AM  

ksobby: So he is this year's Brian Wilson? Man, we love closers for some reason.

/ Unless the closer's name is Jose Mesa, then we hates him.


Or Armando Benitez
 
2011-10-18 09:01:37 AM  

dickkopf: [www.iwatchstuff.com image 450x341]


Came for that pic, leaving satisfied.
 
2011-10-18 09:11:51 AM  

UNC_Samurai: Pratty: I'd love to see a blind person pitch.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 316x400]


They should have just had him pitch from CF (new window)
 
2011-10-18 09:15:29 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

approves
 
2011-10-18 09:18:47 AM  

Pratty: I'd love to see a blind person pitch.


deathsinyear.com

www.sportshollywood.com
 
2011-10-18 09:25:13 AM  
Looking up Ryne Duren's wikipedia page.... Wait? Blackie Lawless is his nephew? You learn something new every day.
 
2011-10-18 09:46:53 AM  

ksobby: / Unless the closer's name is Jose Mesa, then we hates him.


We might, but baseball didn't. Dude pitched in the majors longer than Mike Trout has been alive
 
2011-10-18 10:11:18 AM  
What a ridiculous article with absolutely zero point. Jeff Passan acts like glasses and contacts are this new-fangled science where the blind can now see!

"Come see the amazing bespectacled man! He sees even though he can't! It's new science and we bet you'll think it's the bees knees!"

An earlier poster mentioned Feliz hitting 101 during the ALCS. Nice to see it was conveniently left out. Weak attempt to create this year's Brian Wilson.

I've never felt one way or another about the Cardinals but I hope they lose simply because of Berkman's and Rhodes' big mouths.
 
2011-10-18 10:22:41 AM  

ksobby: So he is this year's Brian Wilson?


This thread? Never happened.
 
2011-10-18 10:23:23 AM  
Yeah, this is nowhere near like when J. R. Richard of the Astros was going blind from heart disease-related glaucoma and still throwing heaters. He didn't have myopia, the guy was literally dying.
 
2011-10-18 10:25:57 AM  
(of course here I should point out that although Richard was dying, his life was saved by emergency surgery to remove a blood clot from his neck--right before a game he was scheduled to pitch. He almost became the second on-field death in MLB history)
 
2011-10-18 10:42:39 AM  

urban.derelict: Texas sucks.

/that is all

29.media.tumblr.com


Between the Iggles fans and their 'Dream team' and the phillies fans with their 'Cy Young' starters, I'm having a real hard time deciding who is the bigger collection of douchebags. Pretty much neck and neck at this point......
 
2011-10-18 10:51:32 AM  

Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?


Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.
 
2011-10-18 11:06:55 AM  
Grant? Yeah, he is on the $50.

But who is on the $100?

HAMILTON.

/its world series championship time in texas
 
2011-10-18 11:07:49 AM  

Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.


But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...
 
2011-10-18 11:16:03 AM  

Outlaw2097: Grant? Yeah, he is on the $50.

But who is on the $100?

HAMILTON.



This is true.

img80.imageshack.us
 
2011-10-18 11:19:54 AM  
I taste stupid. Anyone else got that taste in their mouth?
 
2011-10-18 11:21:50 AM  

ChrisDe: Outlaw2097: Grant? Yeah, he is on the $50.

But who is on the $100?

HAMILTON.



This is true.

[img80.imageshack.us image 276x183]


Outlaw just teed that up perfectly for you...

Well played.
 
2011-10-18 11:22:23 AM  
He needs to breathing through his eyelids like the Lava Lizards of the Galapagos Islands.
 
2011-10-18 11:29:30 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.

But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...


Figures Adolf would know
 
2011-10-18 11:32:02 AM  

Outlaw2097: Grant? Yeah, he is on the $50.

But who is on the $100?

HAMILTON.

/its world series championship time in texas


Really?

Um - you can't just add zeros to your ten dollar bills to make them hundred-dollar bills.

www.emersonkent.com
 
2011-10-18 11:39:45 AM  
Someone should tell this guy about the oxygen permeable contacts. You can wear them for weeks at a time (even sleeping) and they seldom feel dry.
 
2011-10-18 11:59:07 AM  
honda-tech.com
 
2011-10-18 12:01:47 PM  

Di Atribe: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.

But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...

Figures Adolf would know


I'm a nerd. What can I say?
 
2011-10-18 12:13:23 PM  

mitchcumstein1: He needs to breathing through his eyelids like the Lava Lizards of the Galapagos Islands.


The rose goes up front Meat.
 
2011-10-18 12:23:34 PM  
God, that linked head-to-head comparison was absolutely retarded. I don't know how you could consider the bullpens a tie, or think Nelson Cruz is that much better than Lance Berkman. Cruz got hot for one series against some terrible pitching, while Berkman is playing like he's 28 again.

I also don't think Elvis Andrus is any better than Furcal, and Allen Craig is a perfectly serviceable DH when it comes to that. He's not as good a hitter for average as Michael Young, but he has just as many home runs in half as many games, plus beat him in OPS+ by quite a bit this year.
 
2011-10-18 12:49:34 PM  

phyrkrakr: God, that linked head-to-head comparison was absolutely retarded. I don't know how you could consider the bullpens a tie, or think Nelson Cruz is that much better than Lance Berkman. Cruz got hot for one series against some terrible pitching, while Berkman is playing like he's 28 again.

I also don't think Elvis Andrus is any better than Furcal, and Allen Craig is a perfectly serviceable DH when it comes to that. He's not as good a hitter for average as Michael Young, but he has just as many home runs in half as many games, plus beat him in OPS+ by quite a bit this year.


Whining already? Jesus, the series hasn't even started. I'm sure you can quickly find a St. Louis based article that can abhorently defend your manhood. Or just just take it as it is... just another idiot throwing out wild guesses.

You the Cardinal fan should know that stats mean nothing... it that was the case, you guys would have never beaten the Cy Young staff...
 
2011-10-18 01:04:56 PM  
With his uneven, unkempt beard and a fastball that would break the speed limit in all 50 states and on the Autobahn,

So the highest speed limit in the US is 85. And I guess the speed limit on the Audobahn is 81 (thanks, Adolf Oliver Nipples)

List of MLB pitchers that can throw a fastball that fast:

Just about all of them.

(End of list)

Great opening line, dumbass
 
2011-10-18 01:13:30 PM  
I love the playoffs, but I loathe the moronic coverage that shows up right around LCS time.
 
2011-10-18 02:03:03 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.

But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...


The Richtgeschwindigkeit are for roads without a mandatory speed limit. It is not a crime to go faster than 130 km/h on them, they're just saying if you do and you wreck, you have increased liability.
 
2011-10-18 02:20:15 PM  

urban.derelict: Texas sucks.

/that is all


Coming from Philly you're familiar with suck. Philly, Really?? Besides the fact the city is a murderous shiatehole, your baseball team couldn't even take the pennant. The Red Sox had an excuse they're alcoholics, the Phillies didn't have the cojones to follow through.
 
2011-10-18 02:20:25 PM  

hp6sa: Outlaw2097: Grant? Yeah, he is on the $50.

But who is on the $100?

HAMILTON.

/its world series championship time in texas

Really?

Um - you can't just add zeros to your ten dollar bills to make them hundred-dollar bills.

[www.emersonkent.com image 550x241]


LOL. Nice try idiot. That's obviously photoshopped. Everyone knows you can't scan a real dollar bill.
 
2011-10-18 02:27:18 PM  

Babboonrash: phyrkrakr: God, that linked head-to-head comparison was absolutely retarded. I don't know how you could consider the bullpens a tie, or think Nelson Cruz is that much better than Lance Berkman. Cruz got hot for one series against some terrible pitching, while Berkman is playing like he's 28 again.

I also don't think Elvis Andrus is any better than Furcal, and Allen Craig is a perfectly serviceable DH when it comes to that. He's not as good a hitter for average as Michael Young, but he has just as many home runs in half as many games, plus beat him in OPS+ by quite a bit this year.

Whining already? Jesus, the series hasn't even started. I'm sure you can quickly find a St. Louis based article that can abhorently defend your manhood. Or just just take it as it is... just another idiot throwing out wild guesses.

You the Cardinal fan should know that stats mean nothing... it that was the case, you guys would have never beaten the Cy Young staff...


Whining, really? I just said it was a crap article, then said the things I thought were wrong with it. But yeah, trying to pick a winner by doing head-to-head comparisons is not a very reliable system, anyway, and small sample size outcomes are damn near impossible to predict based on previous statistics.

Whining would be "Why do they always pick against the Cardinals in these things that are so stupid nobody should pay attention to them anyway?" I guess everything is bigger in Texas, including the assholes.
 
2011-10-18 02:42:28 PM  

phyrkrakr: Babboonrash: phyrkrakr: God, that linked head-to-head comparison was absolutely retarded. I don't know how you could consider the bullpens a tie, or think Nelson Cruz is that much better than Lance Berkman. Cruz got hot for one series against some terrible pitching, while Berkman is playing like he's 28 again.

I also don't think Elvis Andrus is any better than Furcal, and Allen Craig is a perfectly serviceable DH when it comes to that. He's not as good a hitter for average as Michael Young, but he has just as many home runs in half as many games, plus beat him in OPS+ by quite a bit this year.

Whining already? Jesus, the series hasn't even started. I'm sure you can quickly find a St. Louis based article that can abhorently defend your manhood. Or just just take it as it is... just another idiot throwing out wild guesses.

You the Cardinal fan should know that stats mean nothing... it that was the case, you guys would have never beaten the Cy Young staff...

Whining, really? I just said it was a crap article, then said the things I thought were wrong with it. But yeah, trying to pick a winner by doing head-to-head comparisons is not a very reliable system, anyway, and small sample size outcomes are damn near impossible to predict based on previous statistics.

Whining would be "Why do they always pick against the Cardinals in these things that are so stupid nobody should pay attention to them anyway?" I guess everything is bigger in Texas, including the assholes.


Your entire rant (including the entirely subjective opinion upon personnel) wreaks of uncomfortable vaginal discharge. To clear it up... yes, you were whining about not being perceived as the dominant head to head team as written by some joe blow that I seriously doubt you care about.

Try not getting too riled up by the notion of someone not agreeing with your disposition. Not going to disagree with you about the a$$hole comment. Wasn't trying to be, not in this instance anyway. Merely pointing out there's no crying in baseball. And as a Cardinal fan with, what? 18 WS appearances, cards fans should really be better prepared from random commentary from any and every baseball writer out there.

/shruggin it off, I doubt you seriously meant it...
 
2011-10-18 02:44:56 PM  
The World Series starts tomorrow. One of the team's closer's vision is so crappy he can't read the catcher's signs. It's an interesting story and maybe a little bit of a fluff piece but good god Fark, setting the bar a little high are we?
 
2011-10-18 03:30:23 PM  
Let's get this straight...Motte does not look like Grant, he looks like - YUKON CORNELIUS!!!!

/and yes...Bumbles Bounce!
 
2011-10-18 03:44:21 PM  

Pratty: I'd love to see a blind person pitch.


No doubt they can be a major league pitcher, if they can be major league umps
 
2011-10-18 03:57:53 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.

But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...

The Richtgeschwindigkeit are for roads without a mandatory speed limit. It is not a crime to go faster than 130 km/h on them, they're just saying if you do and you wreck, you have increased liability.


Agreed. You can go balls out in areas where the "unlimited" signs are posted, which is why I said "recommended speed". But there are places where the speed limit is a firm number, usually for pollution or noise-abatement reasons.

So, strictly speaking, Di is also correct. She usually is except when it comes to the Cowboys, but we all have our crosses to bear.
 
2011-10-18 04:08:15 PM  

uber humper: urban.derelict: Texas sucks.

/that is all


Let's discuss the finer points of suck, shall we? How about the Phillies, Derelict?
- 1,055 games below .500 all time. Worst in the Majors.
- 23 game losing streak in 1961. One of the longest losing streaks in the history of the Majors, I believe.
- 72 losing seasons.
- 5 consecutive 100 loss seasons from '38 to '42. I know this is ancient, but shiat! 5 consecutive 100 loss seasons?
- 14 seasons with 100 or more losses in franchise hsitory. That's a whole lot of losing there!

- Oh yeah, there's also 10,292 all time losses. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the most by a "professional" team in sports history?

I'm not saying my Rangers haven't historically seen a metric assload of hard times, but it seems to me that "Philles" and "Suck" are highly correlated. And the Philly sample size is quite large, seeing as how y'all have been playing baseball (which is debatable) up there for 128 years.

www.phillysucks.com

www.phillysucks.com

www.phillysucks.com

Coming from Philly you're familiar with suck. Philly, Really?? Besides the fact the city is a murderous shiatehole, your baseball team couldn't even take the pennant NLDS. The Red Sox had an excuse they're alcoholics, the Phillies didn't have the cojones to follow through.

FTFY, Humper.

All that said, yup... stupid article. Can't wait for the WS to get going!

Two great teams going head-to-head in the Cards (arguably the most storied franchise in the NL) and Rangers (historicaly a terrible team, but on the rise and apparently here to stay)!

GO RANGERS!!!!
DROP THE CLAW ON 'EM!!!!
DROP THE ANTLER ON 'EM!!!!
IN WASH WE TRUST!!!!
 
2011-10-18 04:11:33 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: mitchcumstein1: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Di Atribe: Freakin Rican: does anyone else think jeff passan is an idiot?

Not until he claimed that Motte could throw balls that could break the speed limit on the Autobahn.

But he can. A good bit of the Autobahn system has a speed limit now, and the "recommended speed" is 130 km/h, which is 81 mph.

The more you know...

The Richtgeschwindigkeit are for roads without a mandatory speed limit. It is not a crime to go faster than 130 km/h on them, they're just saying if you do and you wreck, you have increased liability.

Agreed. You can go balls out in areas where the "unlimited" signs are posted, which is why I said "recommended speed". But there are places where the speed limit is a firm number, usually for pollution or noise-abatement reasons.

So, strictly speaking, Di is also correct. She usually is except when it comes to the Cowboys, but we all have our crosses to bear.


I think we all know what the man meant.
 
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