No, I mean today.

Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...

While my "at it" does what, subs?

Does someone really have to give this tip?

If you have crack, heroin, or meth, just farking use it before you're pulled over. If it's pot or alcohol, that's a tough call, but if it's a weeknight it's not a bad idea to use it up and hope you're let out before you come down.

Now, obviously, if it's something you have to shoot or smoke via a glass piece (specifically meth or crack), you want to smoke it, stash the peace, and then show back up. If it's just powdered blow you can share it with "dancer" you've been talking to since 2009. Hell, if you have one of those, ask her to meet you at her place and give her your whole stash if you think the man is onto you. That way it's more plausible when you say, "I only saw this biatch once, I dunno how she knows where I live."

If you have to admit you know her, that's okay. You can survive this. Just remember, she has the stash. Ask yourself, what is your stash worth? Is it enough that you just want her to shoot it all up so you can claim you were just trying to save her by getting her to the hospital ASAP? Will she go Bobbit on you for doing so?

If you're decent at darts, another option is to try to make sure you screw up the DNA evidence by throwing them into random strangers. Keep you fingertips off of these, and your hands reaching toward the sky. I'm Casey Ka... Wait, what?

Missed it by that much

Well, I'm not needed here.

Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

The cops are definately retarded

To be fair, it was the best pizza in a cup ever. The guy who makes it is unbelievable. He ran the old Cup 'o Pizza guy out of business.

elffster: all in one?

In Japan and Germany, that's not even worthy of a raised eyebrow.

elffster: if_i_really_have_to: redheads, schoolgirls, and poop?

all in one?

Rule 34 says it exists, but I think even Fark has standards. TotalFarkers may have evidence to disprove that, of course.

davidphogan: If you have crack, heroin, or meth, just farking use it before you're pulled over.

Better is, if you get stuck in a ditch and you're not on the bright side of sober, abandon the car, the keys any drugs and walk away.

mikemoto: "the driver, 68-year-old Donn Adams. "

Sorry about that, chief.

I thought he was 86.

JerkyMeat: The cops are definately retarded

I sea what you did there

thelordofcheese: No, I mean today.

Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...

Your breath is awful.

If they were mixing booze and heroine I'd say that were doing pretty good to get that out. Most people would just puke and pass out.

davidphogan: Does someone really have to give this tip?

If you have crack, heroin, or meth, just farking use it before you're pulled over. If it's pot or alcohol, that's a tough call, but if it's a weeknight it's not a bad idea to use it up and hope you're let out before you come down.

Now, obviously, if it's something you have to shoot or smoke via a glass piece (specifically meth or crack), you want to smoke it, stash the peace, and then show back up. If it's just powdered blow you can share it with "dancer" you've been talking to since 2009. Hell, if you have one of those, ask her to meet you at her place and give her your whole stash if you think the man is onto you. That way it's more plausible when you say, "I only saw this biatch once, I dunno how she knows where I live."

If you have to admit you know her, that's okay. You can survive this. Just remember, she has the stash. Ask yourself, what is your stash worth? Is it enough that you just want her to shoot it all up so you can claim you were just trying to save her by getting her to the hospital ASAP? Will she go Bobbit on you for doing so?

If you're decent at darts, another option is to try to make sure you screw up the DNA evidence by throwing them into random strangers. Keep you fingertips off of these, and your hands reaching toward the sky. I'm Casey Ka... Wait, what?


Dude. Lay Off The Caffeine.

Too early for flapjacks?

TWO PIZZA'S!!

68, retired and doing heroin? Why not? Just keep off the roads fella.

/pizza pizza