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(Think Progress) Unlikely Herman Cain: "Liberals killed Jesus"   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 311
More: Unlikely, Herman Cain, Daily Kos, liberals  
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4177 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Oct 2011 at 11:27 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



311 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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RexTalionis [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:34:27 PM
I never understood how anyone could make the claim that Jesus was a political conservative. I don't know many political conservatives who would tell their followers to give away all their possessions.
 
BritneysSpeculum [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:45:19 PM
I thought it was the Jews?
 
Mr. Bungle At Work
2011-10-17 05:51:23 PM
BritneysSpeculum: I thought it was the Jews?

Considering Jews are predominately liberal, at least in regards to American politics, I think the parallel works well.
 
mitchcumstein1 [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:53:27 PM
I always thought Jesus was a communist.
 
gilgigamesh [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:53:33 PM
In a column and blog post titled "The Perfect Conservative," Cain makes the claim that Jesus was politically conservative and that he "helped the poor without one government program."

Oh for Christ's sake.
 
fusillade762
2011-10-17 05:54:44 PM
Oh Hermie, you so crazy.
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:55:06 PM
He was a bit socially conservative, trying to get people to clean up their slutty lives, but politically, Jesus was a liberal. Big time.

You know, if such a person actually did even some of the things attributed to him.
 
gilgigamesh [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 05:57:39 PM
I suppose this will ultimately result in another "I WAS JOKING!! YOU LIBRULS JUST CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TROLLOLOL" backpedal.

But in case he stands his ground on this insipid comparison, I think its important to point out that attempting any type of analogy between the Roman governorship or the Pharisees and any modern, westernized political state is like doing a comparative analysis of the similarities of a paramecium and a chimp.
 
gilgigamesh [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:02:48 PM
AdolfOliverPanties: He was a bit socially conservative, trying to get people to clean up their slutty lives, but politically, Jesus was a liberal. Big time.

You know, if such a person actually did even some of the things attributed to him.

If you read what he supposedly said, he almost certainly felt that politics - like family, community, money, possessions and other worldly concerns - were illusions, distractions and lies that should be thrown over for embracing a singular relationship with God; through him.

Basically, he was a crackpot cult leader who advocated extreme religious asceticism. If you asked him about the capital gains tax he'd probably poop in a bowl and throw it at you.
 
Quasar [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:14:20 PM
Cain's blog reads like a satire piece or one of those pun emails people send, like "If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"
 
Cake Hunter [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:28:59 PM
Quasar: "If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"

oh my god i don't know. i use those things all the time.

holy sh*t.
 
robmilmel [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:50:07 PM
gilgigamesh: If you asked him about the capital gains tax he'd probably poop in a bowl and throw it at you.

So, the 9-9-9 Plan?
 
BunkyBrewman [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:52:08 PM
Was Jesus a Socialist or Capitalist?

/Gee Herm, that's a tough question, isn't it?
 
vernonFL [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:57:15 PM
Jesus hated government regulations.

When the government regulated that every male infant be killed, Baby Jesus and his family moved to a different state with less regulations!
 
GAT_00 [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 06:58:31 PM
Really? What exactly is liberal about capital punishment?
 
Flatulent_Flea [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:00:57 PM
i31.photobucket.com
 
casual disregard [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:03:58 PM
"Another common method [of grading pencils] uses numbers to designate the grade of a pencil. It was originally created by Conté and adopted in the United States by John Thoreau, father of Henry Thoreau, in the 19th century."

I did not know that (new window). Thanks, Thoreau the Elder. I guess?
 
bighasbeen [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:13:35 PM
YOU PEOPLE VOTED FOR HUBERT HUMPHREY
 
vernonFL [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:15:51 PM
Jesus supported slavery, and also supported beating your slaves.

Luke 12:45-48
 
ultraholland
2011-10-17 07:39:24 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

THIS IS WHAT CONSERVATIVES ACTUALLY WORSHIP
 
WorldCitizen [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:46:07 PM
This guy just sounds like an ass. A really selfish, self centered, and not very well informed ass.
 
Nadie_AZ [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:46:14 PM
Oh good. He's going for burnout before Christmas.
 
ib_thinkin [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:48:18 PM
Those crazy Romans and their free love!
 
JerseyTim [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:49:36 PM
That's horsecrap. If I had killed Jesus, we would have stayed dead.
 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:49:38 PM
Not only was Jesus a liberal, he was a socialist. Not only was Jesus a socialist, he was a communist.

WHAT FKN BIBLE DO "CONSERVATIVES" READ???
 
elchip
2011-10-17 07:54:31 PM
Considering THAT JESUS' DEATH AND RESURRECTION ARE A CENTRAL TENET -- NAY, THE CENTRAL TENET OF CHRISTIANITY, AND A NECESSARY ACTION IN ORDER TO PROVIDE SALVATION TO MANKIND... HOW CAN YOU CONDEMN A COURT THAT WAS NOT ONLY (ALLEGEDLY) PROPHECISED TO DO AS SUCH, BUT WHOSE ACTIONS ARE INADVERTENTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SALVATION???

Furthermore, THE COURT WAS BY DEFINITION CONSERVATIVE BECAUSE THEY WENT AGAINST A RADICAL UPSTART WHO THREATENED TO TURN THE LONG-ESTABLISHED TRADITION ON ITS HEAD.

Moreover, IF YOU ARE TRYING TO DRAW A PARALLEL WITH MODERN-DAY LIBERALISM, MOST LIBERALS ARE AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY, MORE PEACE-INCLINED THAN CONSERVATIVES, AND MORE INTO RENDERING ONTO CAESAR.

JESUS TAPDANCING TITTYFARKING CHRIST, HOW CAN YOU BE A FARKING MINISTER AND NOT GET THIS?

More proof that Christians do not understand Christianity.

End rant.
 
robmilmel [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:58:19 PM
elchip: Moreover, IF YOU ARE TRYING TO DRAW A PARALLEL WITH MODERN-DAY LIBERALISM, MOST LIBERALS ARE AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY, MORE PEACE-INCLINED THAN CONSERVATIVES, AND MORE INTO RENDERING ONTO CAESAR.

Pfft...that's New Testament Jesus. He turned into a metrosexual.
 
Lorelle [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 07:58:41 PM
Nah, conservatives did. And if he came back today, they would crucify him again for being a prostitute-defending, leper-befriending, poor-people-loving, money-changer-and-dove-seller-hating, long-haired liberal hippie.
 
GraphicAddiction [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:01:06 PM
There are no accounts of Jesus being politically active or petitioning government to enact his views in any way.

Attempting to label him in modern political terms is absurd for any activist of any variety.
 
WorldCitizen [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:01:37 PM
I'm sure Jesus would support the following:

- Opposition to ensuring all people have access to healthcare
- The death penalty
- Starting a war of choice

I'm sure we could go on with conservative ideas that Jesus would absolutely support.
 
MorrisBird [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:06:32 PM
GraphicAddiction: Attempting to label him in modern political terms is absurd for any activist of any variety.

I'm going to agree with you for the first time in a long relationship. This is why we have the separation of church and state.
 
Weaver95 [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:08:53 PM
as far as I know, the ONLY people that Jesus beat the snot out of were bankers. Does that sound like a Republican to you?
 
SphericalTime [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:17:37 PM
elchip: More proof that Christians do not understand Christianity.

End rant.

Some do. Herman Cain obviously isn't one of them.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:19:26 PM
The Republicans are seriously just farking with us at this point. There's no other conclusion one can come to. I mean really, who is less Christian than the right wing? I'm thinking the Republicans are engaging in performance art at this point.
 
GraphicAddiction [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:20:26 PM
Weaver95: as far as I know, the ONLY people that Jesus beat the snot out of were bankers. Does that sound like a Republican to you?

Well, technically....they were Jewish money changers.

And as long as we're playing the "modern political label game," I would imagine Jewish Bankers would all statistically vote Democrat.

So, according to my instant intarweb analysis....Jesus would more than likely be an Independent.

*cough*
 
Mentat [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:22:02 PM
Mugato: The Republicans are seriously just farking with us at this point. There's no other conclusion one can come to. I mean really, who is less Christian than the right wing? I'm thinking the Republicans are engaging in performance art at this point.

I always liked the "Martin Luther King Jr. was a conservative" bit. Classic trolling.
 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:23:09 PM
Weaver95: as far as I know, the ONLY people that Jesus beat the snot out of were bankers. Does that sound like a Republican to you?

When you've strewn someone's furniture around a bit and made things generally untidy, you haven't really beaten the snot out of them.
 
ksdanj [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:46:08 PM
Lorelle: Nah, conservatives did. And if he came back today, they would crucify him again for being a prostitute-defending, leper-befriending, poor-people-loving, money-changer-and-dove-seller-hating, long-haired liberal hippie.

Jesus would be at Zuccotti Park, right now, feeding the multitudes...
 
Makh [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:47:12 PM
Jesus was a Troll Shaman.
 
Weaver95 [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:47:34 PM
ksdanj: Lorelle: Nah, conservatives did. And if he came back today, they would crucify him again for being a prostitute-defending, leper-befriending, poor-people-loving, money-changer-and-dove-seller-hating, long-haired liberal hippie.

Jesus would be at Zuccotti Park, right now, feeding the multitudes...

yup. And the Dept. of Homeland Security would be after him for inciting a riot and eventually deport him for being a suspected terrorist.
 
shivashakti
2011-10-17 08:48:13 PM
I don't think either side can fully claim Jesus as one of their own. But I believe that anyone who calls themselves Christian would have to give generously to the poor, help the sick, and embrace the outcast if they want to be worthy of that name.
 
Weaver95 [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 08:52:49 PM
shivashakti: I don't think either side can fully claim Jesus as one of their own. But I believe that anyone who calls themselves Christian would have to give generously to the poor, help the sick, and embrace the outcast if they want to be worthy of that name.

I still can't figure out why nobody calls out the prosperity gospel 'christians' for their blatant heresy...they directly contradict the world of Christ, lying to their followers and distorting the teachings of christianity specifically to line their own pockets. that's a one way ticket to the big post-life soul fry down below....and yet nobody points out that the prosperity gospel people currently infesting the GOP are all on God's naughty list.

I just don't get it.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:09:44 PM
look, i'm not going to go so far as to say that jesus was a conservative, all i'm saying is that he hates all the same people i hate and was murdered by my political rivals.
 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:10:25 PM
 
coco ebert [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:15:31 PM
Weaver95: shivashakti: I don't think either side can fully claim Jesus as one of their own. But I believe that anyone who calls themselves Christian would have to give generously to the poor, help the sick, and embrace the outcast if they want to be worthy of that name.

I still can't figure out why nobody calls out the prosperity gospel 'christians' for their blatant heresy...they directly contradict the world of Christ, lying to their followers and distorting the teachings of christianity specifically to line their own pockets. that's a one way ticket to the big post-life soul fry down below....and yet nobody points out that the prosperity gospel people currently infesting the GOP are all on God's naughty list.

I just don't get it.

People do. But their voices get drowned out. Even Obama, for instance who could have asked Jim Wallis to give the invocation the inauguration, chose Rick Warren instead. Liberal Christian thinkers aren't given much love.
 
fusillade762
2011-10-17 09:15:53 PM
Lorelle: they would crucify him again for being a prostitute-defending

Hey, Republicans love prostitutes.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:28:07 PM
I'm not seeing a lot of right winger apologists in this thread.
 
Nadie_AZ [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:29:40 PM
Mugato: I'm not seeing a lot of right winger apologists in this thread.

Oh it hasn't gone green yet. The liters will be here soon enough and the right wingers will flood in here with stupid comparisons, straw men, moved goalposts and changing the topic.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2011-10-17 09:29:58 PM
Mugato: I'm not seeing a lot of right winger apologists in this thread.

what's there to apologize for? we got jesus, you libs got hitler.
 
TheOther
2011-10-17 09:38:12 PM
Occupy Golgotha!...wait...
 
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