sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

AverageAmericanGuy:
You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

Rapmaster2000: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

He's just a cook.

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

Mr Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or publicity,' Sheriff West said

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

macross87: Timmy the Tumor: it looks like he's investigating "Who stole Fidel Castro's wardrobe?"

Looks like he's hiding Castro under there too

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

hillbillypharmacist: Of course, just last month he was sued for killing a man's puppy during a raid.

Class act.

Ed Finnerty: [dtdstudios.com image 615x400]

I smell a hit!

/Or is that cake?

ThisNameSux: First of all, read the farking article.

Secondly, you can sue anybody for anything, doesn't mean he's guilty. Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

ThisNameSux: Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

Orgasmatron138: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

I think it's commonly accpepted that he exaggerated/lied about training Green Berets to hype his first movie. However, he is/was a legit martial artist with a great deal of skill. He also happens to be a world class d-bag, if the stories about his wives are true.

ongbok: Most recently he has been claiming that he is training many MMA fighters and is responsible for fighters like Anderson Silva using a kick that normally isn't seen in MMA.

miscreant: ThisNameSux: First of all, read the farking article.

Secondly, you can sue anybody for anything, doesn't mean he's guilty. Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

The raid was in response to animal cruelty charges and you're defending him by saying "it was just a stupid dog!"?

AverageAmericanGuy

Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido

and an accomplished musician.

Orgasmatron138: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

I think it's commonly accpepted that he exaggerated/lied about training Green Berets to hype his first movie. However, he is/was a legit martial artist with a great deal of skill. He also happens to be a world class d-bag, if the stories about his wives are true.

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

domenad: I'm sensing a lot of illegal Krispy Kreme raids in the near future.

namegoeshere:
Hey! They also shot up over 100 cocks, and no one even mentioned them.

sheilanagig: He used to try to impress people by telling them he was a spook for the government. I think he said NSA. The NSA says he's full of shiat.

ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

ongbok: Orgasmatron138: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

I think it's commonly accpepted that he exaggerated/lied about training Green Berets to hype his first movie. However, he is/was a legit martial artist with a great deal of skill. He also happens to be a world class d-bag, if the stories about his wives are true.

The guy has lied about everything from his training, him training other people and about fighting real life gangsters. Most recently he has been claiming that he is training many MMA fighters and is responsible for fighters like Anderson Silva using a kick that normally isn't seen in MMA.

namegoeshere: ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

Ooh...linky?

namegoeshere: ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

Ooh...linky?

ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

AverageAmericanGuy: You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

AverageAmericanGuy: You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

Salt_from_Mars: [img408.imageshack.us image 604x324]

rebelyell2006: namegoeshere: ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

Ooh...linky?

Here

sheilanagig: namegoeshere: ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

Ooh...linky?

Steven Seagal Sex Slave Scandal (new window)

Ask and you shall receive. This has been going on and reported for years.

hillbillypharmacist: Of course, just last month he was sued for killing a man's puppy during a raid.

Class act.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I slowly eased my car onto the shoulder, the blue and red lights reflecting into my eyes from the rear-view mirror....

OnlyM3: How are your akido heroes doing in the MMA world? Yeah, go back to your AC strip-mall "do-jo" pretend.

MaliFinn: hiiii-yaaaaaaaa!!!!!
[img802.imageshack.us image 400x313]
still got it.

johan heggs tiny man nipples: [img833.imageshack.us image 615x330]
Anyone else notice this?

johan heggs tiny man nipples: [img833.imageshack.us image 615x330]
Anyone else notice this?

angrydoc: understanding I have is that small joint techniques, i.e. Aikido are not allowed in MMA.

Same reason we don't have competitive tournaments. Too easy to hurt someone forever.

/could be wrong.
//4th kyu AWA. http://new.aikidoworldalliance.com/

namegoeshere: ShawnDoc: What happened to the sex slave lawsuit against him?

Ooh...linky?

angrydoc: understanding I have is that small joint techniques, i.e. Aikido are not allowed in MMA.

Same reason we don't have competitive tournaments. Too easy to hurt someone forever.

/could be wrong.
//4th kyu AWA. http://new.aikidoworldalliance.com/

metallion: Note to Texas..

Once you've bought a prize, it's yours to keep...

//Good luck and godspeed...

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

cbackous:
judging by all the fires and lack of rain in Texas, I can only come to one of two possibilities:

A. There is no God
2. He doesnt care about Texas.

Jim_Callahan: Eh? He's been operating as a police officer for some time now, border patrol work isn't particularly complex by comparison. I'd say he's plenty qualified for this particular job.

RockofAges: http://www.topnews.in/light/jean-claude-van-damme,-steven-seagal-near l y-came-blows-90s:-sylvester-stallone-26014

"Action heroes Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal nearly came to fist-fighting once in the late Nineties to prove who was more tough, says fellow star Sylvester Stallone.

The 'Rocky Balboa' star has even revealed that he hosted a party in 1997 to settle the row over who was stronger between Van Damme and Seagal.

"At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard," Contactmusic quoted him as saying.

"Seagal made his excuses and left. But Van Damme, who was berserk, tracked him down at a nightclub and offered him out again," he added.

Though the fight did not ensue the altercation between the two stars, Stallone is sure that Seagal would fall deficient had the brawl taken place.

"Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it," Stallone said. (ANI)"

--=-=-=-

I do like Seagal's earlier movies (I am an 80's action / martial arts movie fan) up till about Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. I'd still rather watch Bloodsport than anything Seagal has ever done.

This story still rocks though.

johan heggs tiny man nipples: [img833.imageshack.us image 615x330]
Anyone else notice this?

dothemath: Please get this jack-ass out of my state.

xen0blue: how is this 'fail'? oh yeah, this is fark

cbackous: RockofAges: http://www.topnews.in/light/jean-claude-van-damme,-steven-seagal-near l y-came-blows-90s:-sylvester-stallone-26014

"Action heroes Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal nearly came to fist-fighting once in the late Nineties to prove who was more tough, says fellow star Sylvester Stallone.

The 'Rocky Balboa' star has even revealed that he hosted a party in 1997 to settle the row over who was stronger between Van Damme and Seagal.

"At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard," Contactmusic quoted him as saying.

"Seagal made his excuses and left. But Van Damme, who was berserk, tracked him down at a nightclub and offered him out again," he added.

Though the fight did not ensue the altercation between the two stars, Stallone is sure that Seagal would fall deficient had the brawl taken place.

"Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it," Stallone said. (ANI)"

--=-=-=-

I do like Seagal's earlier movies (I am an 80's action / martial arts movie fan) up till about Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. I'd still rather watch Bloodsport than anything Seagal has ever done.

This story still rocks though.

Van Damme is a ballerina. Game over.

Crotchrocket Slim: The 'Rocky Balboa' star has even revealed that he hosted a party in 1997 to settle the row over who was stronger between Van Damme and Seagal.

"At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard," Contactmusic quoted him as saying.

"Seagal made his excuses and left. But Van Damme, who was berserk, tracked him down at a nightclub and offered him out again," he added.

Awesome T-Shirt: [www.shortlist.com image 615x330]

Look at him, he's obviously got his fingers crossed in his pocket!

Awesome T-Shirt: [www.shortlist.com image 615x330]

Look at him, he's obviously got his fingers crossed in his pocket!

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

cbackous: RockofAges: http://www.topnews.in/light/jean-claude-van-damme,-steven-seagal-near l y-came-blows-90s:-sylvester-stallone-26014

"Action heroes Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal nearly came to fist-fighting once in the late Nineties to prove who was more tough, says fellow star Sylvester Stallone.

The 'Rocky Balboa' star has even revealed that he hosted a party in 1997 to settle the row over who was stronger between Van Damme and Seagal.

"At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard," Contactmusic quoted him as saying.

"Seagal made his excuses and left. But Van Damme, who was berserk, tracked him down at a nightclub and offered him out again," he added.

Though the fight did not ensue the altercation between the two stars, Stallone is sure that Seagal would fall deficient had the brawl taken place.

"Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it," Stallone said. (ANI)"

--=-=-=-

I do like Seagal's earlier movies (I am an 80's action / martial arts movie fan) up till about Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. I'd still rather watch Bloodsport than anything Seagal has ever done.

This story still rocks though.

Van Damme is a ballerina. Game over.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I slowly eased my car onto the shoulder, the blue and red lights reflecting into my eyes from the rear-view mirror. It looked like I'd pushed my speed a bit too far over the limit in Hudspeth, Texas. In the mirror, I could see the cop car behind me bounce violently as a portly shape emerged and then began waddling toward my side window. Shiat, busted by Steven Seagal. I'd heard tell he was a lawman in these parts. I couldn't afford another speeding ticket. But something suddenly clicked in my head, something that convenience store clerk had told me earlier that evening. A plan formed in my mind...

The officer stood in front of my window, wheezing faintly, and hiked up his dropping pants. "Lissenzun regisstrun peeze," he said, out of breath after walking the 20 feet between cars. I assumed that meant he wanted my license and registration. I pulled my driving license off the top of the dashboard, where it was wedged underneath the Twinkie I'd set there moments ago.

"Here you go," I said. "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

"Yuze shpeedn," he said. He shined a flashlight on my license, then directed the beam at the Twinkie. The golden snack cake and cellophane wrapper glistened in the light.

"Wuzzat?" he asked.

"Oh, I forgot that was there. I was going to have it as a snack, but I'm not hungry now. Would you like it?"

Almost as soon as I'd said it, a meaty, sweaty arm entered my car, fat sausage fingers wrapping around the Twinkie and snatching it through the window. With a hideous slurp and a rustle of cellophane, it was messily devoured.

"I'm sorry about speeding. I want to be in full compliance. Hopefully, we can take care of that here?"

He burped, ejecting tiny bits of Twinkie filling against the side of the car. He wiped his greasy mouth off on a sleeve and said, "Gottenny ore?" which I assumed to be a query as to whether I possessed more Twinkies.

"Sure," I said. "There's a box on the back seat. You're more than welcome to--"

The car trembled as the back door was yanked open and the Twinkie box removed. There was an orgy of disgusting, wet slurps and crinkling plastic. I was horrified by realization that empty wrappers were nowhere to be seen. Was he eating them cellophane and all? Before I could consider further, he emitted another wet belch and other sounds of gastric distress, flailed at some crumbs and blobs of filling stuck to the front of his uniform, and then said, "Ssokay. Jussawarnin thissime. Yuze free taho. Donspeed nomore." He turned and began waddling back to his car. As I pulled away, watching him pause for a breath near the hood of his car, I realized I owed that convenience store clerk a debt of gratitude. At the time I hadn't understood why he'd insisted I buy some junk food for the drive through the county.

heavymetal: The reality show he definately should be on is "The Biggest Loser".
[www.shortlist.com image 615x330]
He should also be on one about fat people trying to lose weight also.

Jake Havechek: You bailed out a Jamaican street named Monkey the other day, I want him. This other piece of shiat, Screwface, I want him. I know you're a scumbag and a puke, I don't mind that, but give me what I need and I'll leave here a nice guy. If you don't, I'm gonna fark you up.

topcon: I find it amusing he now actually looks like Will Sasso who used to parody him on Mad TV.

topcon: I find it amusing he now actually looks like Will Sasso who used to parody him on Mad TV.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

Et al.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: johan heggs tiny man nipples: [img833.imageshack.us image 615x330]
Anyone else notice this?

[i51.tinypic.com image 577x466]

Latinwolf: I remember back in the early days of his movies, a cousin of mine that was into body building would claim that unlike other action stars you could tell that Seagal must have had a lousy physique because you never saw him take off his shirt in any of his movies, or wear anything that would show off that alleged physique like many other action stars would do.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: johan heggs tiny man nipples: [img833.imageshack.us image 615x330]
Anyone else notice this?

fireclown: Latinwolf: I remember back in the early days of his movies, a cousin of mine that was into body building would claim that unlike other action stars you could tell that Seagal must have had a lousy physique because you never saw him take off his shirt in any of his movies, or wear anything that would show off that alleged physique like many other action stars would do.

In movies, there is a tendancy toward "if ya gots it, flaunt it". He's always looked a little doughy, but his weird charisma made up for it. At least for a while.

Crotchrocket Slim: fireclown: Latinwolf: I remember back in the early days of his movies, a cousin of mine that was into body building would claim that unlike other action stars you could tell that Seagal must have had a lousy physique because you never saw him take off his shirt in any of his movies, or wear anything that would show off that alleged physique like many other action stars would do.

In movies, there is a tendancy toward "if ya gots it, flaunt it". He's always looked a little doughy, but his weird charisma made up for it. At least for a while.

To be fair I quite enjoyed the first Under Siege, though he was playing a washed up cook (who just happened to kick a lot of ass) in it.

Crotchrocket Slim: topcon: I find it amusing he now actually looks like Will Sasso who used to parody him on Mad TV.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

Et al.

Didn't Sasso lose a lot of weight though?

Sadness was watching the Sass on that show with the Shat knowing he'd never whip out his Kirk either.

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

Whiskey Dickens: Hands in pockets while taking an oath? Classy.