FARK.com: (6651208) Steven Seagal becomes deputy sheriff of Texan town to prevent illegal immigration, not stop terrorists from seizing forms of transportation

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		Steven Seagal becomes deputy sheriff of Texan town to prevent illegal immigration, not stop terrorists from seizing forms of transportation (shortlist.com )		138
		More: Fail, Mr Seagal, Texans, illegal immigration, transportation, forms

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7315 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Oct 2011 at 11:26 AM (4 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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Mugato		2011-10-17 08:48:44 AM

"It's like 'Die Hard' on the border!"

Holy shiat, it looks like he's smuggling immigrants under his shirt.

Babwa Wawa		2011-10-17 08:53:37 AM

Maybe Seagal is off to the left of the frame here.

img16.imageshack.us

oldebayer		2011-10-17 08:59:59 AM

How's he going to chase down the illegals? Does he have a reinforced Segway?

/Or maybe they can truck him up a hill and roll him down on them.

PainInTheASP		2011-10-17 09:00:12 AM

...and he works for Osama bin Laden. That's why the Taliban is so deadly and effective...Hap-kido training. Where'd they learn that? From Steven Segal's fat ass!

/Why do you think Kelly LeBrock left him?!? cause he's Taliban ...

Sybarite		2011-10-17 09:20:37 AM

Waddler, Texas Ranger

Ed Finnerty		2011-10-17 09:47:04 AM

I smell a hit!

^{/Or is that cake?}

hillbillypharmacist		2011-10-17 10:19:04 AM

Of course, just last month he was sued for killing a man's puppy during a raid.

Class act.

Calmamity		2011-10-17 10:49:03 AM

There go all the donuts.

AverageAmericanGuy		2011-10-17 11:08:17 AM

Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

hillbillypharmacist		2011-10-17 11:25:49 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

I certainly hope not. Obesity is one of the biggest risk factors for morbidity and mortality.

Timmy the Tumor		2011-10-17 11:26:36 AM

it looks like he's investigating "Who stole Fidel Castro's wardrobe?"

sheilanagig		2011-10-17 11:28:04 AM

Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

rebelyell2006		2011-10-17 11:30:05 AM

Huh I'd have expected him to support the illegal immigrants since he tended to help the marginalized parts of society in his films.

Reality sure is different.
/and he got really fat?

jake_lex		2011-10-17 11:30:26 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want. Seagal is a genuine black belt in Aikido and an accomplished musician.

He doesn't have to risk his life doing these things. He has plenty of money from his very successful movies. He does it because he has a deep abiding love for America and the rule of law.

You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

You're right, I probably weigh half as much as Seagal at this point.

Calmamity		2011-10-17 11:30:38 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Make fun all you want

I'm on to you.

Rapmaster2000		2011-10-17 11:32:56 AM

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

He's just a cook.

namegoeshere		2011-10-17 11:33:47 AM

AverageAmericanGuy:
You guys wouldn't be half the man Seagal is.

Holy crap, I'm less than half of him. Did he kill the guy's puppy by eating it?

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

Yes, and Ahnold is not really a robot from the future, and Ronnie wasn't a real cowboy (okay, he came closer that the other two). Didn't stop California, and the rest of the US.

We do love our celluloid fantasy heroes.

rebelyell2006		2011-10-17 11:34:09 AM

Rapmaster2000: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

He's just a cook.

A 59 year old cook. You'd think he'd advance to chief cook or something. Or retire at that point, I thought the navy tends to kick out their enlisted men after a certain number of years.

TravisBickle62		2011-10-17 11:34:43 AM

3/10

OnlyM3		2011-10-17 11:35:03 AM

Mr Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or publicity,' Sheriff West said

That's right one good apple, you're not a lying sack o sh--, the tv cameras are there to check green-cards.

www.shortlist.com

Two fat criminals is all I see.

DarkPascual		2011-10-17 11:35:22 AM

I can believe that (new window)

ha-ha-guy		2011-10-17 11:35:36 AM

macross87: Timmy the Tumor: it looks like he's investigating "Who stole Fidel Castro's wardrobe?"

Looks like he's hiding Castro under there too

I see more of a Kim Jong Il in that look. Might be the overuse of hair gel that is making me see it though.

chaddsfarkprefect		2011-10-17 11:35:44 AM

And soon her mate responds by singing
Caw Caw Caw
Come with me

Lesbian Seagal

Settle down and rest with me

Rest your big fat head on my broad lesbian shoulders.

Orgasmatron138		2011-10-17 11:36:36 AM

sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

I think it's commonly accpepted that he exaggerated/lied about training Green Berets to hype his first movie. However, he is/was a legit martial artist with a great deal of skill. He also happens to be a world class d-bag, if the stories about his wives are true.

OnlyM3		2011-10-17 11:37:15 AM

Best entertainment possible would be if this publicity stunt runs headlong into a gang armed by the white house's "Fast & Furious" program?

// cheers the team from Mexico.

globalwarmingpraiser		2011-10-17 11:37:32 AM

I have a friend that is a Texas state trooper there. They think it is funny as well.

meatofmystery		2011-10-17 11:37:39 AM

From the looks of that picture, i'd say I'm only 1/3 the man he is.

theflatline		2011-10-17 11:38:02 AM

See Steve, sucking Merv Griffins dick really did get you the money and the fame you were looking for...

lymond01		2011-10-17 11:39:00 AM

When a pickup of illegal immigrants finds itself in the jurisdiction of a border town sheriff whose nationality is not obvious from his facial appearance, confusion in his documentation arises.

Steven Seagal is "Hard to Insure"

Sticky Hands		2011-10-17 11:39:58 AM

Does he get to keep the cute ones he catches?

1derful		2011-10-17 11:39:58 AM

I'd like to make something very clear: I don't have rage. I'm a happy guy. You see this face? This is a happy face. You'll be lucky to be as happy as I am.

Whiskey Dickens		2011-10-17 11:40:11 AM

Hands in pockets while taking an oath? Classy.

dothemath		2011-10-17 11:40:15 AM

Please get this jack-ass out of my state.

ThisNameSux		2011-10-17 11:40:50 AM

hillbillypharmacist: Of course, just last month he was sued for killing a man's puppy during a raid.

Class act.

First of all, read the farking article.

Secondly, you can sue anybody for anything, doesn't mean he's guilty. Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

Ed Finnerty		2011-10-17 11:42:04 AM

$20 says he thinks his shirt is tucked in.

fireclown		2011-10-17 11:42:23 AM

Those guys are in for such a slapping. Have you ever watched a Segal movie? The guy slaps everyone he meets.

Jake Havechek		2011-10-17 11:42:40 AM

You bailed out a Jamaican street named Monkey the other day, I want him. This other piece of shiat, Screwface, I want him. I know you're a scumbag and a puke, I don't mind that, but give me what I need and I'll leave here a nice guy. If you don't, I'm gonna fark you up.

1derful		2011-10-17 11:42:50 AM

Senator Vernon Trent: You can take that to the bank!

Steve Segal: I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the food bank!

vudukungfu		2011-10-17 11:43:11 AM

dothemath: Please get this jack-ass out of my state.

For a fee, I could remove this meddlesome old woman for you.

vudukungfu		2011-10-17 11:44:13 AM

1derful: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x230]

Senator Vernon Trent: You can take that to the bank!

Steve Segal: I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the food bank!

Is that a recent pic?
Fee just went up for freight reasons.

Flakeloaf		2011-10-17 11:44:43 AM

Ed Finnerty: [dtdstudios.com image 615x400]

I smell a hit!

/Or is that cake?

And for that, I do believe you are entitled to one of those internet things everyone keeps talking about. I'd TF you if you weren't already.

LarryDan43		2011-10-17 11:45:19 AM

Maybe he's just looking to add a few slave girls to his harem.

1derful		2011-10-17 11:46:00 AM

Who's hot dog is that, is that yours?

Crotchrocket Slim		2011-10-17 11:47:02 AM

It's too bad Bruce Lee isn't around to routinely school this guy on both acting and martial arts... along with not being a massive tool while doing both.

Reminding Seagal that he's not the characters he plays on screen would be pretty cool too.

Hassan Ben Sobr		2011-10-17 11:48:21 AM

Damn. Looks like he's got the doughnut-snarfing part down.

miscreant		2011-10-17 11:48:40 AM

ThisNameSux: First of all, read the farking article.

Secondly, you can sue anybody for anything, doesn't mean he's guilty. Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

The raid was in response to animal cruelty charges and you're defending him by saying "it was just a stupid dog!"?

rebelyell2006		2011-10-17 11:49:16 AM

ThisNameSux: Even if he is, BFG it's a dog.

You are a douchebag.

ongbok		2011-10-17 11:49:29 AM

Orgasmatron138: sheilanagig: Wait until they find out he's a world-class bullshiatter who lies about his job history and qualifications, in other words, "an actor".

I think it's commonly accpepted that he exaggerated/lied about training Green Berets to hype his first movie. However, he is/was a legit martial artist with a great deal of skill. He also happens to be a world class d-bag, if the stories about his wives are true.

The guy has lied about everything from his training, him training other people and about fighting real life gangsters. Most recently he has been claiming that he is training many MMA fighters and is responsible for fighters like Anderson Silva using a kick that normally isn't seen in MMA.

jaybeezey		2011-10-17 11:50:08 AM

For those wondering, Hudspeth County is way out in West TX. I was hoping that he would stay Louisiana's problem, but i guess not...

Enjoy eating the dust out there Segal.

Anybody seen Richie?

domenad		2011-10-17 11:50:10 AM

I'm sensing a lot of illegal Krispy Kreme raids in the near future.

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