Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Where the hell have you been that you're just learning about The Situation right now?

Because getting your new shiny a few minutes before someone else makes you a better person.

It looks like his Situation went from bad...
*sunglasses*
to worse.

shivashakti: Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Where the hell have you been that you're just learning about The Situation right now?

I avoid reality shows like the plague and even I knew about that guy. You can't turn on a radio or television or browse a single website without hearing about The Jersey Shore.

SnakeMan: In related news...

iPhone 4S Sells 4 Million in One Weekend

How can all these people afford iPhones in this economy?! Let's squeeze more tax money from those rich bastards, amiright?!!?

I heard that at least 300k in sales were attributed to some exec on Wall Street who re-tiled his kitchen with them.

Oafmeel: It looks like his Situation went from bad...
*sunglasses*
to worse.
[i574.photobucket.com image 449x287]

That's it... thread's over guys.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

SnakeMan: In related news...

iPhone 4S Sells 4 Million in One Weekend

How can all these people afford iPhones in this economy?! Let's squeeze more tax money from those rich bastards, amiright?!!?

Are you telling me only 4 million people can't find jobs in a country the size of roughly 350 million? Wow, I guess unemployment numbers must be wrong.

/fyi that's 1.14 % of the population. That looks pretty close to 1% to me...

Why was he even in line? He must have someone in his entourage that could have done the waiting for him while he went off to do whatever he does.

Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Oh, it's even more retarded than that. "The Situation" was originally the nickname he gave his abs. As he explains in the very first episode, "when I walk into that club, and your girl sees these muscles, you got yourself a situation".

SnakeMan: That's my point, dope. These iPhone buyers are part of those eeeevil 1% bastards that we gotta squeeze more taxes out of to feed the government spending black hole! MOAR TAX MONEY!!!!

Somehow I think people are not as angry that people can buy phones. I think they might be more angry at your trolling.

gunga galunga: "when I walk into that club, and your girl sees these muscles, you got yourself a situation".

I'm with SM. I'm suing you for my chemotherapy bills.

can he get the death penelty for this? Please!!!

SnakeMan: AppleOptionEsc: SnakeMan: That's my point, dope. These iPhone buyers are part of those eeeevil 1% bastards that we gotta squeeze more taxes out of to feed the government spending black hole! MOAR TAX MONEY!!!!

Somehow I think people are not as angry that people can buy phones. I think they might be more angry at your trolling.

Why shouldn't we be angry at people who can buy new phones, or new computers, or new cars, when there are millions out of work who can't afford that stuff?! These are just evil, greedy assholes who care nothing about the poor! We should steal their money and give it to the needy, and if the government won't do it we should do it ourselves! Rise up! Let the revolution begin!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I hope he wasn't cutting in front of this guy

shivashakti: Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Where the hell have you been that you're just learning about The Situation right now?

And can you give us instructions on how to go to this heavenly Nirvana where Jersey Shore does not exist?

I'm changing my name to "The Circumstance"

robmilmel: Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Yeah, but his friends call him "Sitch".

He needs to hang out with Lindsay Lohan so we can get some Lilo and Sitch headlines.

TravisBickle62: I'm changing my name to "The Circumstance"

I'm changing my name to "The Preponderance of Data," that way everything I say has weight behind it.

RoyFokker'sGhost: And can you give us instructions on how to go to this heavenly Nirvana where Jersey Shore does not exist?

I am betting it's a third-world hellhole... called Iowa.

/ I keed, I keed
// but not much

My only experience with this godawful show was when my alma mater had Snooki as a guest. The auditorium was packed as Snooki regaled the crowd with anecdotes abou the time she got drunk...and that other time she got drunk. Then, she did a cartwheel and left the stage. The event was free for students, who eagerly applauded her at every step. She got paid something like $5 or 10k for that. And all in the midst of the university's anti-drunkenness campaign.

/failure all around
//could see why the alum pubs kept that quiet

fatalvenom: [fastcache.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

"Check out my nips dawg"

He does have nice nipples.

And a terminal case of butter face.

1macgeek: RoyFokker'sGhost: And can you give us instructions on how to go to this heavenly Nirvana where Jersey Shore does not exist?

I am betting it's a third-world hellhole... called Iowa.

/ I keed, I keed
// but not much

Do they have 4G connection speeds there? 'Cause a Jersey Shore free life and all the corn I could possibly eat sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Is this Apple's posted article for the day? I know we can't go a day without mentioning that company or the Tea Party.

I would venture a guess that there were more than a couple of whiney "occupiers" that took a day off from their poverty stricken lives of protesting nothing to hop in line for their new iPhone before crawling back in their tents to continue whining about how poor they are.

RoyFokker'sGhost: And can you give us instructions on how to go to this heavenly Nirvana where Jersey Shore does not exist?

The only reason I know of these things is because of Fark. I guess this is just a case of staring into the Abyss and having the Abyss stare back into you.

Oh, it's even more retarded than that. "The Situation" was originally the nickname he gave his abs. As he explains in the very first episode, "when I walk into that club, and your girl sees these muscles, you got yourself a situation".


You know how I know you're gay, you know that!

t3knomanser: RoyFokker'sGhost: And can you give us instructions on how to go to this heavenly Nirvana where Jersey Shore does not exist?

The only reason I know of these things is because of Fark. I guess this is just a case of staring into the Abyss and having the Abyss stare back into you.

This one time, I stared into the Abyss for so long that it got nervous and looked away. True story.

/Also, I second the Lilo & Sitch idea from LarryDan43.

TravisBickle62: I'm changing my name to "The Circumstance"

Maybe the Situation should just call himself "Shiat happens..".

Eyes In The Sky: Oh, it's even more retarded than that. "The Situation" was originally the nickname he gave his abs. As he explains in the very first episode, "when I walk into that club, and your girl sees these muscles, you got yourself a situation".


You know how I know you're gay, you know that!

I really wish I didn't. I netflixed the first disk of the first season to see what the fuss was all about. I barely made it through one episode. Between him Snooki, and the mere fact that these douchenozzles take so much pride in being walking stereotypes, I found it one of the most unwatchable things I have ever seen in my life.

Apos: I hereby propose that an iHero tag be created.


Objections?

Yes, Hell yes.


You should get your ass kicked for suggesting something like that.

/iHero????

the fact that this article exists makes me sad to be a human being.

LarryDan43: robmilmel: Shakespeare's Monkey: This assclown's name is The Situation? Seriously? Really? Are you f*cking sh*tting me?

That's so stupid I think it just gave me cancer.

F*CKIN HELL

Yeah, but his friends call him "Sitch".

He needs to hang out with Lindsay Lohan so we can get some Lilo and Sitch headlines.

And also because hanging out with Lindsay Lohan doubles the chance of a drunk driving accident that kills both of them.

titwrench: I would venture a guess that there were more than a couple of whiney "occupiers" that took a day off from their poverty stricken lives of protesting nothing to hop in line for their new iPhone before crawling back in their tents to continue whining about how poor they are.

Don't you know it's their RIGHT to have the new iPhones? Check the Constitution...amendment 1A (sub section iii) - The man shall provide to all who need it new and upgraded inventions as demanded by the citizenry

You should of had Snooks sneak in or something.

Author should have had a third grade education.

Story broke on Twitter

Must be legit

Nice PR move by the quick thinking manager of the Apple store in question. When word filters out that the legacy of Lord Jobs is being carried on by refusing this 'douche', the hipster and techies that form Jobs' cult of personality will sit back even more convinced of their sharpness in belonging to the cult saying quietly to themselves in vindication "See, my Apple would never appease douches!"