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(Daily Mail) Obvious Your mom needs a beer   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
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14216 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2011 at 1:01 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
jtown
2011-10-16 01:04:52 AM
Is there anything it can't do?
 
beer4breakfast
2011-10-16 01:05:47 AM
I need many beers to do subby's mom.
 
diaphoresis
2011-10-16 01:06:40 AM
it is important for women to take in a good daily amount of silicon

sixties60s.com

or did he REALLY mean Silicone? :)
 
KeelingLovesCornholes
2011-10-16 01:06:41 AM
Got one, thanks.
 
Madman drummers bummers
2011-10-16 01:15:25 AM
FTFA: Real ale, which is less refined and processed and so higher in silicon, is preferable to lagers.

Bloody well right!
 
sweet-daddy-2
2011-10-16 01:16:14 AM
Depends on how many guys there are.
 
Gaylord Fister
2011-10-16 01:16:48 AM
Just chew up the glass when you're finished with your drink if you're that desperate for silicon.
 
UsikFark
2011-10-16 01:19:04 AM
Professor Jonathan Powell, head of nutrition research at Cambridge University, studied the effects of beer on bone formation and found that ethanol - which is also present in alcohol.

The primary alcohol in your alcohol is ideally ethanol... Unless the Brits are mixing rubbing alcohol and tang...
 
UsikFark
2011-10-16 01:21:56 AM
A pint of beer contains around 8mg of silicon - around a third of our daily recommended intake.

I could get behind that.
 
Madman drummers bummers
2011-10-16 01:25:32 AM
My friend told me he found out that you can get all the daily nutrition you need from 32 pints of Guinness and a glass of orange juice.

I said, "I don't know, man... I don't think I could drink that much orange juice."
 
Speaker2Animals [TotalFark]
2011-10-16 01:28:57 AM
So, Drew must have bones of adamantium, then.
 
urban.derelict
2011-10-16 01:34:37 AM
my mom needs waaaaaay more than a beer, subby.

my mom needs brains, that's what she needs

/it doesnt' matter if you give them to her anyway, she'll continue to watch the tv
///it's much easier to ignore reality and watch tv than it is to live in reality
...the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
..most people are decidingly stupid
.the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
.many people -- many, many people -- would rather not know, than learn
 
Tyrannosaurus Reich
2011-10-16 01:40:57 AM
MY MOTHER'S A SAINT!
 
Begoggle
2011-10-16 02:01:08 AM
Subby's mom has plenty of healthy bones in her.
 
NannerPuss [TotalFark]
2011-10-16 02:02:23 AM
So ya, I'm just, uh, getting a head start...

Cheers
 
chaddsfarkprefect
2011-10-16 02:06:07 AM
Beer is too pedestrian for the female Chadds Fark Parent.
 
Trucker
2011-10-16 02:17:57 AM
What do you know? You can lead a horse to beer, and you can make her drink it.
 
CrispFlows [TotalFark]
2011-10-16 02:37:49 AM
urban.derelict: my mom needs waaaaaay more than a beer, subby.

my mom needs brains, that's what she needs

/it doesnt' matter if you give them to her anyway, she'll continue to watch the tv
///it's much easier to ignore reality and watch tv than it is to live in reality
...the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
..most people are decidingly stupid
.the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
.many people -- many, many people -- would rather not know, than learn

Even if they do have a brain and was given the means to parse what they learned into categorized/interconnected useful information, It's just easier to ignore the implications.

For example, I taught my co-worker how to tell a difference between a logical argument, an emotional argument and an argument that relies upon the authority/prestige or name of the person.

Despite being taught this, She still reads Glenn Beck's books and thinks of him as the best ideal person for a president of the US.
 
MoreVespeneGas
2011-10-16 02:49:23 AM
My mom needs a joint, a vicodin, and a puppy. Walking ball of stress right there people.
 
MoreVespeneGas
2011-10-16 02:50:27 AM
Madman drummers bummers: My friend told me he found out that you can get all the daily nutrition you need from 32 pints of Guinness and a glass of orange juice.

I said, "I don't know, man... I don't think I could drink that much orange juice."

In all seriousness.... I have heard this, sans the OJ.
Irish bread hoooo
 
qlenfg
2011-10-16 03:16:09 AM
Trucker: What do you know? You can lead a horse to beer, and you can make her drink it.

Crap. Beat me to it.

And I like every bone in subby's mom's body -- especially mine!
 
lizaardvark
2011-10-16 03:31:38 AM
Oh, yes, definitely. Mom wants a whole keg of beer. I'm afraid she's not in at the moment, let me just take that from you.
 
pdevline
2011-10-16 03:41:23 AM
Rodney Carrington knows what happens when Momma has had too many beers...

NSFW (new window)
 
RancidSorbet [TotalFark]
2011-10-16 04:20:58 AM
My momma touches my beer, and I'll break that hip for her right quick.
 
JackalRabbit
2011-10-16 07:07:09 AM
RancidSorbet: My momma touches my beer, and I'll break that hip for her right quick.

Why not just put a bullet in it?
 
MadameX
2011-10-16 07:15:18 AM
RancidSorbet: My momma touches my beer, and I'll break that hip for her right quick.

Yeah - tell her to fetch her own dang beer
 
Nick Nostril
2011-10-16 07:37:40 AM
Whinnieeee !!
 
PantsPie
2011-10-16 08:09:02 AM
I really only skimmed TFA, but it's safe to say I'll be asking for a stout and a boob job this Christmas.
 
girljen
2011-10-16 08:30:36 AM
I broke my foot after falling off a 3" curb, so...cheers!
 
casual disregard [TotalFark]
2011-10-16 09:07:30 AM
So TFA complains that lagers are garbage, which is true, but then it extols the value of ales. No love for stouts?
 
SideshowRaheem
2011-10-16 09:21:41 AM
You know who else needs a beer? YOUR MOM!

ROFLMILF!!!!!11111!!11

Oh wait....
 
MrGuy
2011-10-16 10:43:01 AM
fta: Approximately three million people in the UK are thought to have osteoporosis, and there are more than 230,000 fractures every year as a result. Sufferers include Camilla, The Duchess of Cornwall, who is known to be partial to a glass of real ale

Is it just me, or did that paragraph more or less invalidate the entire article?
 
Khakimonkey
2011-10-16 10:57:07 AM
Hey, get off my mom, I just got off of....


/thats old, I take it back
 
sk8r
2011-10-16 01:51:27 PM
Good to know that I have the bones of an ox.
 
rico567
2011-10-16 02:48:48 PM
urban.derelict: my mom needs waaaaaay more than a beer, subby.

my mom needs brains, that's what she needs

/it doesnt' matter if you give them to her anyway, she'll continue to watch the tv
///it's much easier to ignore reality and watch tv than it is to live in reality
...the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
..most people are decidingly stupid
.the only thing worse than not knowing is refusing to learn
.many people -- many, many people -- would rather not know, than learn

As with most generalizations, I don't find that persuasive.


I want, once and for all, not to know many things. - Wisdom sets limits to knowledge too.

- F.W. Nietzsche
 
Tracibub
2011-10-16 11:30:05 PM
casual disregard: So TFA complains that lagers are garbage, which is true, but then it extols the value of ales. No love for stouts?

I believe most stouts are made with top fermenting yeast, thus considered ales. Therefore they are good for subby's mom, too.
 
Ro_thunder
2011-10-17 02:41:16 PM
UsikFark: A pint of beer contains around 8mg of silicon - around a third of our daily recommended intake.

I could get behind that.

So, your mom needs to drink at least THREE beers a day.
 
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