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(Bizarre Magazine)   "Can jam be used as a sexual lubricant?" and "Does anyone make human cheese?" Apparently someone wanted to know.   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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6460 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2001 at 12:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-11-03 12:03:37 AM  
Uh, can anyone spell infections by trying this?
2001-11-03 12:07:13 AM  
I did not NEED to know about ANy of that........
2001-11-03 12:08:32 AM  
And before any says "did you read the article", yes I did, but I did not need to read it to conclude that it was not only stupid, but dangerous.
2001-11-03 12:09:59 AM
2001-11-03 12:12:43 AM  
Mmmmm....Human cheese......
2001-11-03 12:13:49 AM  
KY Jam ????
2001-11-03 12:15:43 AM  
Combining food and foreplay is great fun, but should go only so far.
2001-11-03 12:20:22 AM  
Hip Hip Hooray, I got boobies!!!!
2001-11-03 12:24:20 AM  
The best part is the "colon mold" that a guy made by pouring concrete up there, then sticking a tennis ball in. Ewww.
2001-11-03 12:27:01 AM  
Who would wants to know this? looks around nervously
2001-11-03 12:30:28 AM  
Ack!! That should be labeled
img.fark.netView Full Size

Bmartin: I seem to remember something about a concrete enema gone awry and an x-ray of the thing . . . gross. Why would anyone stuff concrete up their arse?!
2001-11-03 12:32:40 AM  
"Nothing says pucker than Smuckers'"
2001-11-03 01:16:43 AM  
Speaking of disgusting bodily functions, does anyone know how to clean puke off a keyboard?
2001-11-03 01:24:30 AM  
With water. A shower works fine.

Just make damn sure it's dry before you plug it back in.

Or go buy another one. They're only $15 or so.
2001-11-03 01:25:10 AM  
2001-11-03 01:34:44 AM  
Human cheese!?!?!? The very concept itself seems quite unsettling. I'm sure there's someone out there that's willing to try something like this. However, I draw the line at this and fried chicken feet. Ewwwyuck!
2001-11-03 01:34:49 AM  
Willy Pete: If it was chunky, you can either pop the keycaps off with a screwdriver and clean 'em out, or trash the thing. I recommend the second option.
2001-11-03 01:37:32 AM  
Silly people, the good lord designed us with wonderful natural lubricants that only coincidentally smell like
old fish. The only Jelly that belongs anywhere in the
nether regions is KY and natural but not very
tasty to eat. Then again anyone beyond the occasional lesbian porn star who partakes of a pooty munch is absolutely a barbarian and/or has completely lost their sense of smell.

Mothers milk I have tasted and found it rather pleasant, like warm lowfat milk with a definite sweet aftertaste. Highly recommended should the occasion arise. Just save some for the kid, they need those calories to grow up and be hyperactive, maniacal rugrats ya' know.
2001-11-03 01:51:22 AM  
This is the snopes for the stileproject crowd.
2001-11-03 02:03:27 AM  
Now, are we talking grape or strawberry here? I mean, I can see using grape-it not only tends to be seedless, but it also adds to that nice purple shine everyone seems to want, whereas while strawberry has a better flavor, the seeds do seem to like to hide in the folds and the red color is reminiscent of another substance with a less-than-stellar flavor.

And don't even get me started on orange marmalade and guava paste.
2001-11-03 02:12:21 AM  
the best is when you have enoughf friction to ferment a nice silky smooth froth from humping so much that it drips down your leg and makes a stain on the floor .
2001-11-03 02:15:33 AM  
I think I remember a post from Augie Dogie yesturday, that read...Blood...Nature's lubricant!, Now, am I the only one who finds that just a bit disturbing?
2001-11-03 02:37:07 AM  
Yum! peanut butter and KY Jelly sandwiches!
2001-11-03 02:40:46 AM  
2001-11-03 02:43:11 AM  
Heh...just go to Spencer Gifts in the mall and pick up some of that flavored lubricant. :) I read this really cool story once about where this guy did his wife using honey...too bad my husband gets hives from honey....
2001-11-03 02:52:03 AM  
Just trying to master the italics thingee
2001-11-03 02:52:29 AM  
I suck
2001-11-03 03:02:02 AM  
One last pathetic try
2001-11-03 03:02:49 AM  
YAY! I don't suck so much!
2001-11-03 03:05:32 AM  
Rosebud its like this:

<i>Italic Text</i>

I;ve actually wondered if human milk could be turned into cheese too! Can't say I'd want to try it.
2001-11-03 03:15:13 AM  
Thanks Cranky :)

The only time I like squeeze cheese is on Chili hot dogs. It's all pretty much bad for you anyhow..
2001-11-03 03:56:35 AM  
If you have to use lubricant, it means your girlfreind/wife doesn't like you anymore, and is having sex with your best freind. Leave her for someone who still likes you. This is your last warning.
2001-11-03 04:55:30 AM  
I actually found the Absinthe information MUCH more interesting, actually.

I think I might order a bottle of that for my buddy's birthday. :)
2001-11-03 05:32:53 AM  
Momma's got a cheese box, daddy never sleeps at night!
2001-11-03 05:53:18 AM  
Was Absinthe what Johnny Depp was drinking in From Hell?
2001-11-03 06:25:36 AM  
"A sublime palate of odoriferous emanation!"
"Seeded for her pleasure!"
2001-11-03 06:39:29 AM  
Never tried jam, but I use that Kentucky jelly all the time.
2001-11-03 07:09:50 AM  
You mean that stuff isn't normal? Maybe I should go to a doctor.
2001-11-03 08:04:51 AM  
Raspberry rimming? For me or her?
2001-11-03 08:08:44 AM  
I was really wasted one night and used dishsoap on this girl and she wasn't very happy about it, but it got laughs from my friends so I didn't mind too much.
2001-11-03 08:19:24 AM  
Best way to clean a keyboard is stick it in the washing machine. I did this as a last ditch attempt once and it worked great
2001-11-03 08:36:22 AM  
"It mus' be jelly,'cause jam don' shake that much."--Jellyroll Morton
2001-11-03 10:36:28 AM  
I know of a time when a girl used that chocalate shell topping on her boyfriends weenie and the best part he was allergic to an ingredient in it and during the "getting busy" part he started feeling an unnatural pain and had to be rushed to the emergency room. I can just imagine the look on the doctors and nurses faces when he came in bent over in pain.
2001-11-03 11:00:45 AM  
who in their RIGHT mind would put concrete in their butt???? and he REFUSED phsychiatric help??
2001-11-03 11:27:13 AM  
A single human female can easily produce over 40oz of milk a day. It can be frozen for storage for up to a month if I recall correctly.

And yes, it does taste fairly good.
2001-11-03 01:04:19 PM  
The gene pool needs more lifegaurds. "You with the concrete up your ass! Out of the pool!"
2001-11-03 02:53:08 PM  
everest, i'm not going to ask where you got that information from.
2001-11-03 03:34:38 PM  
raspberry rimming, this is why I read fark on the weekends....
2001-11-03 03:38:43 PM  
if you scroll down, an absinthe discussion comes up.
2001-11-03 03:53:56 PM  
Speaking of which..What's everybody drinking on this fine Saturday night?
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