Pocket Ninja: Look, people. There are no "barbecue ribs." There are ribs, and there is barbecue. Barbecue is a noun, not an adjective. If you don't understand that, just give up meat and become the vegetarian your brain wants you to be.

Seriously. Probably the same kind of heathen writers who think you can get pizza and hot dogs east of Gary and then slather ketchup on them to disguise the inferior taste with red sugar paste.

A picture and better comments in the updated article (new window)

Pocket Ninja: Look, people. There are no "barbecue ribs." There are ribs, and there is barbecue. Barbecue is a noun, not an adjective. If you don't understand that, just give up meat and become the vegetarian your brain wants you to be.

I wondered if he'd be gruff and pedantic or urbane and glib.

Gruff and pedantic.

/not obscure

I have two grills and a pit, and I'm not afraid to use 'em

BBQ is religion, complete with sectarian violence.

TPB BBQ episode Link (new window)

TPB BBQ Clip Link (new window)

i burned lots of bowls in iowa city

wait. what?

Those must have been some fantastic ribs. Tasty enough to break drywall!

She sounds hot.

RexNexus: you got bit by PocketNinja - he laff so hard at you...

Yeah. Too bad Pocket Ninja doesn't get paid to be witty in real life. If he did, he wouldn't have to squander it on the cretins at Fark.

Notabunny: I have two grills and a pit, and I'm not afraid to use 'em

Two grills one pit...

/Had to be said.

Pocket Ninja: Look, people. There are no "barbecue ribs." There are ribs, and there is barbecue. Barbecue is a noun, not an adjective. If you don't understand that, just give up meat and become the vegetarian your brain wants you to be.

NOMENCLATURE!

DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

She was the Bar-B-Que er

Florida tag? really?

This article failed to address the single biggest issue in the story: wet or dry?

So now whenever idiots do something stupid it automatically gets a Florida tag? Even if its not on florida?

/I live here in FL. Trust me, the state does a fine job earning the tag on its own.

Lol black people.

JosephFinn: Seriously. Probably the same kind of heathen writers who think you can get pizza and hot dogs east of Gary and then slather ketchup on them to disguise the inferior taste with red sugar paste.

Talk about gilding the lily.

Gas for the fire: BBQ is not sacred or hard. It is not some magical formula that is hard to achieve. The recipe is not difficult and the minor differences in spice combinations do not make a farking lick of difference. The place you will vehemently defend as "the best damn BBQ on the planet" likely tastes exactly like BBQ I can make while drinking a case of beer and barely paying attention while watching football on a Sunday. It is not complex and it is HIGHLY overrated.

Skip Intro: A picture and better comments in the updated article (new window)

I liked the mental image much better before you posted that link.

Pollexabator: Gas for the fire: BBQ is not sacred or hard. It is not some magical formula that is hard to achieve. The recipe is not difficult and the minor differences in spice combinations do not make a farking lick of difference. The place you will vehemently defend as "the best damn BBQ on the planet" likely tastes exactly like BBQ I can make while drinking a case of beer and barely paying attention while watching football on a Sunday. It is not complex and it is HIGHLY overrated.

Between you and PocketNinja, this thread has been masterfully trolled.

LordOfThePings: JosephFinn: Seriously. Probably the same kind of heathen writers who think you can get pizza and hot dogs east of Gary and then slather ketchup on them to disguise the inferior taste with red sugar paste.

Talk about gilding the lily.

Or shining a turd. Let's argue about what condiment best distracts you from the fact that you're eating a tube of mash and compressed sphincters and internal organs held together by intestinal lining.

Izigaul: Lol black people.

Where did it say she was black?

/Didn't see a picture on the link I clicked.

How much for one rib?


/obscure?

Nuclear Pancake: So now whenever idiots do something stupid it automatically gets a Florida tag? Even if its not on florida?

/I live here in FL. Trust me, the state does a fine job earning the tag on its own.

My thoughts exactly. Let Iowa/Ohio/Texas earn their OWN gorram tags.

/we're #1!

Pollexabator: Or shining a turd. Let's argue about what condiment best distracts you from the fact that you're eating a tube of mash and compressed sphincters and internal organs held together by intestinal lining.

Sriracha.

Ribs are for po' people.

I prefer a nice juicy steak.

If I had to eat that shiat they call bbq in Iowa, I'd want to fight a biatch or two myself.

/from NC, love the Western NC/Eastern TN BBQ.

donnielove: This article failed to address the single biggest issue in the story: wet or dry?

What farking heathen ruins their carefully tended barbeque with sauce? If the meat isn't juicy enough to provide all the moisture one wants you did it wrong. Not to mention many people sauce too early in the process and ruin the bark.

Mr. Shabooboo: How much for one rib?


/obscure?

No, this is Fark. Nothing is obscure, sucka.

-1 subby, for no mention or utilization of the intoxicated woman in her underwear

Pollexabator: Gas for the fire: BBQ is not sacred or hard. It is not some magical formula that is hard to achieve. The recipe is not difficult and the minor differences in spice combinations do not make a farking lick of difference. The place you will vehemently defend as "the best damn BBQ on the planet" likely tastes exactly like BBQ I can make while drinking a case of beer and barely paying attention while watching football on a Sunday. It is not complex and it is HIGHLY overrated.

I agree. It is a way to make sub par meat taste good. Soul food (or as it is called in the south, food) does the same thing. Hell, french cuisine is a refined way to cook shiatty foods into something tasty.

But as tailgating football food, what would you rather eat, a farking salad?

I love barbecue. All barbecue. Even barbecue sauce. And Barbecue potato chips too. The sides, oh god the sides. Potato salad. With bacon. Ooh mac salad. Greek style? Ok sure. And the slaw. American style? That works. Oh there's raisins in it? I don't care. Sweet? Spicy? Fine. Corn on the cob, corn off the cob, corn bread? Yes. Baked beans, so many baked beans. I'll take all of it. Oh the pulled pork. The delicious pulled pork. I'll eat it with a fork. Put it on a roll. Put cheese on it, i dont care. Put cole slaw on it too. Bacon. Don't forget bacon. And smoke me a ham. Glaze it. Pineapple. Put some in the beans. Man i love the beans. Bourbon and brown sugar. Ribs, yes ribs. Fall off the bone, slow cooked for hours on end ribs. Seared on the grill. Dry is fine, sauce em up too, don't care. Oh you made chili too? That's not barbecue. Wait it's for the hot dogs? Ok fine. Grilled onions please. Oh they're not just grilled? You put em in the smoker for an hour? Great. Seconds? Yeah i want seconds. Thirds please. Leftovers? No.

Iowa, but not Iowans.

Ghetto trash from Chicago that have migrated west for easier welfare and section 8 benefits.

Oh_Enough_Already: Iowa, but not Iowans.

Ghetto trash from Chicago that have migrated west for easier welfare and section 8 benefits.

There you go, rationalize that shiz. "All the crazies come from somewhere else! No real Floridian would do that!"

/whatever helps you sleep at night ;)

I know there's a contingent of Farkers trying desperately to get Iowa to become the new Florida but, really, it's not and it never will be. The derp is even worse in other states, if you know where to look for it (*cough*Kansas*cough*).

i didn't realize Iowa City, IA had its own Florida tag.

I Have The Touch of a Shocked Monkey: Pocket Ninja: Look, people. There are no "barbecue ribs." There are ribs, and there is barbecue. Barbecue is a noun, not an adjective. If you don't understand that, just give up meat and become the vegetarian your brain wants you to be.

Barbecued ribs....

Feel better, Mr. Pedantic?

Did you just verb a noun? Get me some rope...

BBQ is not indigenous to Iowa.

They should stick to raising corn.

Cancel that rope for I Have The Touch of a Shocked Monkey. One of them dang 'ol verb 'n nouns.

Flag on the thread.

Misuse of tag.
Incomplete, loss of 15 greenlights,

Wanted for questioning.