George Lucas is no longer relevant

Use the farce, Luke. How are they gonna kill him next time, have a shark eat him?

FTFA: "TPM is due to be released in theaters with a 3-D facelift February 10, 2012"

It never stops . . .

Nerds are outraged that Lucas is going to require them to suspend their disbelief and discard reality in the latest chronicles of intergalactic war between alien races.

imgod2u: Maybe he can go back and rework Maul's death scene to have him scream NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! while Jar Jar steps in a pile of shiat

FTFY

Once you get beyond the plausibility issues, what's left is actually an amazing storytelling opportunity.

It's so stupid it's brilliant.

Um, didn't this already happen in the comics or the novels or something? I thought I heard something about droid legs or something like that.

Either way, I approve of this if only because it gives him a chance to be a villain. In the first movie he didn't even really do anything bad. Yeah, he killed Qui-Gon Jinn, but while that's not a good thing, it's easily argued as self-defense rather than a villainous act. Other than that, all he did was stand around and look menacing, and for that, we are told, he should be put to death. Maybe in this new run he'll actually do something worthy of hating him for.

Everybody knows that Darth Maul died in the Battle of Naboo. What this animated series presupposes is: Maybe he didn't?

dahmers love zombie: Man, I read that headline and the first thing I thought was "oh shiat, Lucas went and changed the death scene in the movie so that he was just sliced and fell, rather than being bisected. Now that it's just that he's alive in the cartoon, I'm happier.

He already changed the death scene. I saw TPM at a preview screening prior to its release, in which he was not cut in half. I was surprised to see him cut in half in the theatrical version.

dahmers love zombie: Man, I read that headline and the first thing I thought was "oh shiat, Lucas went and changed the death scene in the movie so that he was just sliced and fell, rather than being bisected. Now that it's just that he's alive in the cartoon, I'm happier.

that's exactly what i thought when i read the headline.

It turns out that Darth Maul is also the Emperor's illegitimate son, and that he was one of the owner's of the trash compactor monster in "Star Wars", which he got as a pet from Lobot when they were both kids on Tattoine. He lost the trash compactor monster to Tarkin in a Sabacc tournament on Alderaan, where he was living with Bail Organa's sister before he was turned to the Dark Side by Jango Fett's wayward half-brother.

ManateeGag: 2 word: Bull Shiat!

3 more word: Fark George Lucas!

InmanRoshi

Nerds are outraged that Lucas is going to require them to suspend their disbelief and discard reality in the latest chronicles of intergalactic war between alien races.

That's not quite fair - continuity is important to Nerd and Geeks alike.

If humanity manages to avoid it's near-inevitable 'Idiocracy' destiny - I would like to think that writers, scholars and artists will look back on this period of time and declare it the stupidest, laziest, most-unoriginal and lackluster period of creativity in the history of mankind.

Seriously. It seems Hollywood can only remake or revisit topics proven successful, and the moronic masses keep supporting it.

Electriclectic: Everybody knows that Darth Maul died in the Battle of Naboo. What this animated series presupposes is: Maybe he didn't?

#Winning

Been done before. They even made a toy.

Pocket Ninja: This story line concerns me far less than what I've read about Jar Jar Binks falling to the dark side and become a Sith Lord himself. I mean, come on. And wielding a lightsaber with his tongue? It's really gone beyond farce at this point.

The thing that really bothers me is that this is an entirely plausible storyline from Lucas at this point.

Do wounded StormTroopers get medical aid or are they euthanized? Do they mount rescue operations to save them or just leave them to die? Does the Empire/Senate care about POW stormtroopers? Are they actually slaves because they are only allowed to be soldiers and aren't given much freedom to do anything else?

I always kind of wondered about Storm Troopers who are all clones. If a stormtrooper is wounded does he get medical attention? Or do they just let him die? What if they survive but are unfit for military duty? Do they get euthanize? Does the Emperor really care about Stormtroopers? They are sort of expendable like the robot army of the Federation and I was just wondering if any fanboy knew the answer.

Plus, if you think about it, how horrible is it that the Galactic Senate used clones, sentient beings, to fight their war against the Federation whose grievance were never really explained. I mean the clone Stormtroopers are bred to be soldiers which opens a whole can of worms about the ethics and morality of messing with genetics. And they can't really refuse to be soldiers so they are slaves in a way.

Yawn.

Star Trek is dumb.

i wish they would bring greedo back so he can shoot first again.

This was a particularly bad case of being cut in half with a lightsaber.

They got all kinds of new procedures that can attach tops to bottoms.

I am Wee Todd Ed: Do wounded StormTroopers get medical aid or are they euthanized? Do they mount rescue operations to save them or just leave them to die? Does the Empire/Senate care about POW stormtroopers? Are they actually slaves because they are only allowed to be soldiers and aren't given much freedom to do anything else?

How do they determine rank? Would they bother granting awards or medals when literally everyone else would have done the same thing? How effective could Empire leadership really be if none of them ever had to spend any time on the ground?

SkylineRecords: Use the farce, Luke. How are they gonna kill him next time, have a shark eat him?

Sort of a threadjack...

I went to see Carl Gottleib give a lecture last night. At one point, he talked about how Universal has come to Spielberg with offers from various groups to remake Jaws, or "enhance" Jaws, or a slew of other things to update the film. Spielberg has categorically denied any requests to change the original.

You can draw your own distictions re: Lucas

/Lucas sucks
//Iron Balls McGinty!

DarthQueeg: They got all kinds of new procedures that can attach tops to bottoms.

Eh, just give them plenty of lube and that problem will take care of it self.

I am Wee Todd Ed: Do wounded StormTroopers get medical aid or are they euthanized? Do they mount rescue operations to save them or just leave them to die? Does the Empire/Senate care about POW stormtroopers? Are they actually slaves because they are only allowed to be soldiers and aren't given much freedom to do anything else?

I always kind of wondered about Storm Troopers who are all clones. If a stormtrooper is wounded does he get medical attention? Or do they just let him die? What if they survive but are unfit for military duty? Do they get euthanize? Does the Emperor really care about Stormtroopers? They are sort of expendable like the robot army of the Federation and I was just wondering if any fanboy knew the answer.

Plus, if you think about it, how horrible is it that the Galactic Senate used clones, sentient beings, to fight their war against the Federation whose grievance were never really explained. I mean the clone Stormtroopers are bred to be soldiers which opens a whole can of worms about the ethics and morality of messing with genetics. And they can't really refuse to be soldiers so they are slaves in a way.

Those are themes that are hinted at and occasionally addressed in the Clone Wars animated series.

acaciaavenue: If humanity manages to avoid it's near-inevitable 'Idiocracy' destiny - I would like to think that writers, scholars and artists will look back on this period of time and declare it the stupidest, laziest, most-unoriginal and lackluster period of creativity in the history of mankind.

Seriously. It seems Hollywood can only remake or revisit topics proven successful, and the moronic masses keep supporting it.

Yea Hollywood should totally go back to the old days when they made original movies like Ben-Hur starring Charlton Heston, the The Wizard of Oz starring Judy Garland, The Man Who Knew Too Much starring Jimmy Stewart. Or maybe classic westerns like the The Magnificent Seven or A Fistful of Dollars.

Electriclectic: Everybody knows that Darth Maul died in the Battle of Naboo. What this animated series presupposes is: Maybe he didn't?

What about the first story, Womprat?

Womprat... psewwww... yeah, I'm gonna go...

Millennium: Um, didn't this already happen in the comics or the novels or something? I thought I heard something about droid legs or something like that.

Yeah, this is a comic, and I can't member the title or publisher right at the moment. Anywho, Maul got himself a scary azz; cyberized lower torso, which made him look even more like a demon. He tracked down Obi Wan to Tatooine just as the wee baby Luke was being placed in "Uncle" Owen's keeping. Cool fight ensues. Obi Wan doesn't just win, he gives Maul a cruel, you-can-see-your-death-coming-a-mile-away a$$ kicking. Unless they have cyber heads Maul is dayum sure dead this time, or at least dead until they can clone him from the spit.

I'll see if i can't find my copy after I get out of class today.

/Nerdery at its finest.

Well it is Science FICTION after all...

Look for another edited film where Darth Maul is not sliced in too.

\Han Shot First

Pocket Ninja: This story line concerns me far less than what I've read about Jar Jar Binks falling to the dark side and become a Sith Lord himself. I mean, come on. And wielding a lightsaber with his tongue? It's really gone beyond farce at this point.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

... wait.

U serious bro?

*googles it*

Whew. Found nothhing.

*ahem*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Killing Darth Maul at the end of TPM was a huge mistake. He was the only cool thing in the prequels. He should have kill Qui Gon and escaped. He should have been the dangerous bad guy/assassin in the next movie. He should have been the baddie whose head Anakin chopped off instead of Darth Dookie.

IrateShadow: I am Wee Todd Ed: Do wounded StormTroopers get medical aid or are they euthanized? Do they mount rescue operations to save them or just leave them to die? Does the Empire/Senate care about POW stormtroopers? Are they actually slaves because they are only allowed to be soldiers and aren't given much freedom to do anything else?

How do they determine rank? Would they bother granting awards or medals when literally everyone else would have done the same thing? How effective could Empire leadership really be if none of them ever had to spend any time on the ground?

Yeah, the whole 'all the stormtroopers are clones of Bobba Fett' was kind of a dumb idea. Clone a bunch of various awesome human soldiers maybe some Wookies and whatever Bossk was and you have an awesome well rounded army. Plus, what's with abandoning a robot army idea? Are they worried about viruses? Stormtroopers weren't much brighter than droids when it came to decision making. Plus, they are suseptible to biological attacks.

Anyway, getting back to what I was saying about StormTrooper medical care. Wouldn't it be more cost effective to let them die than to save them and rehabilitate them? What happens when they grow too old for combat? StormTrooper retirement homes?

mahkno: Look for another edited film where Darth Maul is not sliced in tootwo.

\Han Shot First
FTFY

mechgreg: acaciaavenue: If humanity manages to avoid it's near-inevitable 'Idiocracy' destiny - I would like to think that writers, scholars and artists will look back on this period of time and declare it the stupidest, laziest, most-unoriginal and lackluster period of creativity in the history of mankind.

Seriously. It seems Hollywood can only remake or revisit topics proven successful, and the moronic masses keep supporting it.

Yea Hollywood should totally go back to the old days when they made original movies like Ben-Hur starring Charlton Heston, the The Wizard of Oz starring Judy Garland, The Man Who Knew Too Much starring Jimmy Stewart. Or maybe classic westerns like the The Magnificent Seven or A Fistful of Dollars.

While I see your point, I hope you're not comparing the prequels to any of the movies you've listed. By the time all the film critics and historians have finished punching you in the balls, there won't be anything left for the rest of us to stomp.

hubiestubert: Lucas is just trolling his fan base now...

I suspected that when he only released the original trilogy on DVD with a crappy non-amorphic laserdisc transfer in 2.0 stereo and insisted that it wasn't economically feasible for him to give them a decent DVD transfer. (Bullshiat, George. Bull-farking-shiat!) When I found out about adding "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" to Return of the Jedi, I no longer had any doubts.

At this point, I want Lucas to fark them up as much as possible. I want him to digitally replace Mark Hammill with Shia LaBeouf and add "No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!No!" to every other line of dialogue.

And while he's at it, I hope he eventually realizes that Leia' slave bikini has no place in a "it's just a kid's movie". He needs to digitally replace that with something decent. Think of the children, George.

A much cooler Zabrak cyborg



/67 days and counting...

Jim from Saint Paul: Pocket Ninja: This story line concerns me far less than what I've read about Jar Jar Binks falling to the dark side and become a Sith Lord himself. I mean, come on. And wielding a lightsaber with his tongue? It's really gone beyond farce at this point.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

... wait.

U serious bro?

*googles it*

Whew. Found nothhing.

*ahem*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

One can only hope this is Jar Jar's fate