RumsfeldsReplacement: Since when do they use condoms in Africa???


When somebody called them "Coney Island Whitefish", they thought they were a new food source.

That would explain both this rash and the urge to eat brains I've been feeling lately...

Sounds like a variant on the "penile theft" panics of Africa: men believe (against all evidence) that a witch has stole their penis or has cursed them with impotence, a shrinking penis, etc. In this case, the target is not witches but prostitutes acting as agents of witches, but it's the same basic superstition/panic.

As in Western witchcraft, the stolen bodily fluid could be used to injure the involuntary donor or in other magic rituals.

The theft of semen at night by witches (or succubi) seems to be a wide spread folk lore motif, being found in the witch lore of many countries, and in the stories told by UFO abductees. Demons, witches, wizards, shamans, or aliens (not all of them from outer space--some are supernatural or extra-dimensional or from the inner worlds in the Earth) are said to steal the fertility and virility of their victims to serve their dark masters, either by providing the material to make more witches, warlocks, demons, etc., or to weaken their victims.

Much of this folklore is based on a kernel of truth (sexual dysfunction, for example, or "wet dreams" associated with dreams of succubi and incubi) while much of it is wild superstitious or conspiratorial figments of the popular imagination.

The results are tragic for the alleged witches, who may be women, men or children, even animals, and who, it is believed, are not necessarily conscious of their power and malevolence.

As far as anthropologists, folklorists and others are concerned, this type of belief is routine and familiar, as are the tragic consequences when panics result in murder, violence and social ostracism of people who are defenseless and often poor or marginal to begin with.

The powder that these prostitutes are said to put on their nipples recalls similar charges from Asia and the Americas, where prostitutes are said to use similar drugs to rob Johns or even hand them over to organ-thieves.

There may be some real cases, but most of this type of urban legend is pure rumour, which apparently can now run around the world thanks to modern communications.

If the article wasn't funny enough... some dumbass Farker can't add 3 numbers to make 100.

Holy shiat, that's golden!

Philip J. Fry: This morning I heard aboutChild Sacrifice in Uganda (new window) by witch doctors to bring good luck and riches.

What the hell is wrong with Africa?

Xenomech: I have a solution I am deploying in our country, but until my patent is complete I am obviously not going to discuss it here.

Does it involve bedbugs?