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(Guardian)   Okay, you're going to want to sit down for this. Ready? Reiki, a form of touch healing, shown to be no more successful than a placebo   (guardian.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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4804 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2011 at 5:10 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



208 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-10-11 04:01:30 PM  
But everyone knows placebos work!
 
2011-10-11 04:06:50 PM  
Oh reiki you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind
Hey reiki
 
2011-10-11 04:17:28 PM  
I'm waiting for Deepak Chopra to refute this by claiming that, because imagination helped identify the benzene ring, imagination is as valid as, say, scientific study when it comes to understanding the universe. So, reiki works because we imagine it to work. If the control group had been open-minded enough to imagine that the placebo would work, then it, too, would have worked. If reiki didn't work for the test group, it's because they simply didn't imagine hard enough.

/Stop clapping. Fark Tink.
 
2011-10-11 04:18:00 PM  
Reiki don't lose that number

/you don't want to call nobody else
 
2011-10-11 04:19:59 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Reiki don't lose that number

/you don't want to call nobody else


Reiki suave?
 
2011-10-11 04:20:20 PM  
This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.
 
2011-10-11 04:22:36 PM  

brap: This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.


And that's why I'm looking for funding for my new program, Hookers for Hospices.
 
2011-10-11 04:29:27 PM  

brap: This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.


Wasn't that pretty much the verdict for acupuncture, too? Placebo effect plus bedside manner equals improved outlook and general well-being?
 
2011-10-11 04:32:51 PM  

brap: This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.


thatsthejoke.jpg

"Real" practitioner of reiki does not differ from fake practitioner of touchy-feely in terms of how patients felt afterwards. Touch is almost always beneficial - we're social animals, by and large. Reiki, however, is a pseudo-psychic practice that claims, among other things, to heal disease - at a friggin' distance, no less - through the use of ritual contact, symbols, and practices. Reiki is, basically, the phrenology of massage. Just as stupid, just as useless.

You're better off paying a massage therapist to, y'know, actually massage you. Same contact benefits, but actual physical benefits, too.
 
2011-10-11 04:52:59 PM  
A friend with weed is better.
 
2011-10-11 04:56:03 PM  

FormlessOne: Reiki is, basically, the phrenology of massage.


It's used to feel and interpret the size of Walt's asshole?
i224.photobucket.com
 
2011-10-11 04:58:30 PM  

Jamdug!: A friend with weed is better.


And if she's got breasts and all the rest, well, now we're in business.
 
2011-10-11 05:12:17 PM  
If I cast Lesser Holy Benevolence, it still works, right?
 
2011-10-11 05:12:33 PM  
assets.sbnation.com
Does not approve.
 
2011-10-11 05:15:06 PM  

www.paint2046.com

O REIKI?

 
2011-10-11 05:15:06 PM  

FormlessOne: at a friggin' distance, no less - through the use of ritual contact



Umm... ritual contact at a distance? :?
 
2011-10-11 05:16:50 PM  
Is that another word for massage?
 
2011-10-11 05:16:51 PM  

Treygreen13: [assets.sbnation.com image 455x312]
Does not approve.


Luckily I scrolled through this thread and saw your post. I was going to post that same image.
 
2011-10-11 05:18:34 PM  
I used to do a website for a woman who did Reiki for pets.

Then, I found out about a competitor of hers who did Reiki for cats...over the phone.
 
2011-10-11 05:19:58 PM  
Um, placebo does work you know. Much better then nothing, no side effects either.

I wish people would stop using "placebo" to mean worthless. It is not even close to worthless, and is in many cases better then dangerous drugs.
 
2011-10-11 05:20:02 PM  
've been told I have a very soothing touch.

Alternatively hard and soft grip and consistent rythmn produces wonderful results.
 
2011-10-11 05:20:51 PM  
There are a lot of nitwits who advertise Reiki as being this cure-all, and it's highly annoying.

I took Reiki classes in the 1990s before it became this huge New Age fad. At the time, it was advertised as a method of relaxation to help alleviate some of the dis-ease (intentional hyphen) that contributed toward pain. And that makes sense - alleviate stress, promote relaxation and surprise! You feel better.

Hey, it works for decreasing stress. It's great for helping yourself or a loved one relax. And had it never been advertised past that point, there would have been no problems. It's another form of meditation. That's ALL.

Then some weird "Reiki cures everything!!!!" group took over, with visions of rainbows and dolphins and glitter and crap, and now I am embarrassed to have ever been associated with them.
 
2011-10-11 05:21:20 PM  

Telos: FormlessOne: at a friggin' distance, no less - through the use of ritual contact


Umm... ritual contact at a distance? :?


Spooky, as Einstein used to say.
 
2011-10-11 05:21:38 PM  

RedEmily: 've been told I have a very soothing touch.

Alternatively hard and soft grip and consistent rythmn produces wonderful results.


Go on...
 
2011-10-11 05:22:35 PM  
Reiki-

OK for inducing calm and maybe a minor backache.

Not OK as a treatment for cancer to the exclusion of medicine that can actually work.

//What's the Harm with using alternative medicine? (new window)
 
2011-10-11 05:23:26 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: brap: This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.

And that's why I'm looking for funding for my new program, Hookers for Hospices.


You jest, but I could see that happening in some parts of the world, if it hasn't happened already. Probably in southeast Asia.
 
2011-10-11 05:24:04 PM  
It usually comes back to this.

Know what they call alternative medicine that's actually been shown to be effective? Medicine.
 
2011-10-11 05:24:13 PM  
it may be relaxing, but any 'health benefits' are purely imagined. Pseudoscience, AWAY!

how many Farkers listen to the Skeptics Guide to The Universe?
 
2011-10-11 05:24:35 PM  

RedEmily: 've been told I have a very soothing touch.

Alternatively hard and soft grip and consistent rythmn produces wonderful results.


Hmm, I am skeptical. I would have to experience this for myself to be certain your claims are valid.
 
2011-10-11 05:25:31 PM  
So it's as successful as weed then?
 
2011-10-11 05:27:18 PM  

FormlessOne: I'm waiting for Deepak Chopra to refute this by claiming that, because imagination helped identify the benzene ring, imagination is as valid as, say, scientific study when it comes to understanding the universe. So, reiki works because we imagine it to work. If the control group had been open-minded enough to imagine that the placebo would work, then it, too, would have worked.


Unfortunately, as has been established many times: when you open your mind that much, your brain spills out of your ears.
 
2011-10-11 05:27:20 PM  
so that's what that weird place in the building next door is.
 
B A [TotalFark]
2011-10-11 05:28:22 PM  
IF the patients are recieving their chemo/radiation/etc AND either massage or Reiki makes you feel good: Why stop at one or the other? Why not use both? Bith make the patient feel better. Neither does tha patient harm IF they still do chemo/radiation. BOTH make the patient feel good. Why exclude either?
 
2011-10-11 05:29:30 PM  
I'm all for alternative medicine and natural therapies, but when I learned that I could become a certified Reiki practitioner in a week or two, I became kinda skeptical.

/might do it at some point just because I can
 
2011-10-11 05:30:38 PM  

msupf: how many Farkers listen to the Skeptics Guide to The Universe?


Only 3 of us.
 
2011-10-11 05:30:56 PM  

B A: IF the patients are recieving their chemo/radiation/etc AND either massage or Reiki makes you feel good: Why stop at one or the other? Why not use both? Bith make the patient feel better. Neither does tha patient harm IF they still do chemo/radiation. BOTH make the patient feel good. Why exclude either?


Yeah, I agree with this. If it makes them feel good, they're still getting treatment, and it's not doing them any harm, I don't see any reason to stop.
 
2011-10-11 05:32:27 PM  

RedEmily: 've been told I have a very soothing touch.

Alternatively hard and soft grip and consistent rythmn produces wonderful results.


I'll be in my bunk.
 
2011-10-11 05:32:46 PM  

IC Stars: msupf: how many Farkers listen to the Skeptics Guide to The Universe?

Only 3 of us.


Actually, I haven't seen empirical evidence of a third one.
 
2011-10-11 05:33:56 PM  
So, blowjobs would be a better alternative for people than Reiki?

I just need a few thousand to buy up some ho's and I've got a business model!
 
2011-10-11 05:34:24 PM  
Reiki is considered touch healing? I thought that there was no touching at all to the process.
 
2011-10-11 05:34:46 PM  
Well, that would depend... Is she hot?
 
2011-10-11 05:35:18 PM  

RedEmily: 've been told I have a very soothing touch.

Alternatively hard and soft grip and consistent rythmn produces wonderful results.


I heard something recently about this new, all-natural homeopathic small-batch skin cream.
 
2011-10-11 05:37:50 PM  
What's that? An alternative medicine modality is proven to be just as useful as a sugar cube?

I'm Shocked. SHOCKED, I say. Clearly you people don't realize that this is just part of the conspiracy by big pharma to suppress natural cures and keep you sick with medicine. Wake up sheeple!
 
2011-10-11 05:38:04 PM  
Sham reiki, is that kind of like the shamWow?
 
2011-10-11 05:38:22 PM  

brap: This just in: when you are in a hospital it is nice and emotionally beneficial to have someone come in and touch you.


This.

All these skeptical doctors who continuously try to disprove everything? I think they should be the medical version of disbarred for "Acts of joyless shiatpailery." and "Preventing doglover from interacting with gullible women when he is injured and probably needs them most."
 
2011-10-11 05:38:45 PM  

beefoe: Sham reiki, is that kind of like the shamWow?


No, because the ShamWow actually has real, practical benefits.
 
2011-10-11 05:38:50 PM  
Two of my friends are masters in Reiki. It does work, if you allow it. I do draw the line at the claim of being able to heal over long distances.
 
2011-10-11 05:38:52 PM  
my form of homeopathic touching is the most effective. It's diluted so much that I don't even need to touch you to be touching the shiat out of you!
 
2011-10-11 05:40:34 PM  

BKITU: beefoe: Sham reiki, is that kind of like the shamWow?

No, because the ShamWow actually has real, practical benefits.


And Asian women touching you has no benefits?

Fark benefits, then.
 
2011-10-11 05:44:34 PM  
A nurse once practiced reiki over me while I was getting a procedure done and I found it annoying. Think of someone playing "I'm Not Touching You" in earnest.
 
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