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(Some Guy)   Man baffled after discovering that an unsolicited offer for a free massage from a stranger on Facebook could somehow result in sexual assault   (ottawacitizen.com) divider line 46
    More: Dumbass  
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9446 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2011 at 2:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-10-04 02:03:48 PM
The man, who said he covered himself with a sheet, said Elhitti had first massaged his back, then he flipped over onto his back. Elhitti then began massaging his chest, shoulders and neck after fitting him with a bed mask and complimenting him on his body, he said.

The man testified Elhitti then brushed against his penis while massaging his right leg.

About 30 seconds later, he felt a moist "sensation" that he believed to be Elhitti's mouth on his penis.

The man said he "popped up" from the table and confronted Elhitti, who apologized profusely, according to the man.



Talk about looking a gift horse in the, er ... mouth.
 
2011-10-04 02:06:24 PM
The man said he "popped up"

it moved
 
2011-10-04 02:06:27 PM
The man said he stormed out of the spa, which burned down about two months after Elhitti was charged. Elhitti, 41, has pleaded not guilty to sexual assault.


So where's Paul Harvey with The Rest of the Story?

/RIP, Mr. Harvey
 
2011-10-04 02:08:16 PM
/moist
 
2011-10-04 02:08:56 PM
Guy on guy suprise-suck?

Count me out.
 
2011-10-04 02:13:19 PM
Dude, you hooked up with a dude on Facebook cause you wanted to be rubbed by a dude. Now you don't want to pay for it cause you thought it was some kind of consensual what not. Dude. Dude!
 
2011-10-04 02:15:19 PM
Penis
 
2011-10-04 02:19:19 PM

Andrew Wiggin: The man said he "popped up"

it moved


thedailyelephant.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-10-04 02:22:24 PM
Elhitti told him he needed practice hours to qualify as a certified therapist.
 
2011-10-04 02:25:40 PM
Man baffled after discovering that an unsolicited offer for a free massage from a stranger on Facebook could somehow result in sexual assault

www.anvari.org

Hmmmm...well, now, that is a dilly of a pickle!
 
2011-10-04 02:26:29 PM
This don't happen on Twitter.
 
2011-10-04 02:30:23 PM

AbbeySomeone: This don't happen on Twitter.


'just felt something moist on my cock, wtf?'
 
2011-10-04 02:31:19 PM
No witnesses? It will come down to he said, he said.
 
2011-10-04 02:31:57 PM
I don't see the problem here; sounds like a fun time

A+++++ Would try again!
 
2011-10-04 02:33:03 PM

Andrew Wiggin: AbbeySomeone: This don't happen on Twitter.

'just felt something moist on my cock, wtf?'


Zip your pants. Posting from the bus station doesn't make you look cool ya know.
 
F42
2011-10-04 02:33:29 PM
"I don't normally go on gay dates,

but when I do,

I get naked, lie on my back and I sue anyone who sucks my cock."
 
2011-10-04 02:35:08 PM
I was having some drinks with a couple buds at a local dive bar. One tells us he started taking flying lessons.
"My instructor is a black belt and gay. So, we're cruising at 3500 feet and the instructor says...
"We're gonna do it or you're jumping."
I asked, "So, did ya jump?"
He says "Yup, a little at first!"
 
2011-10-04 02:37:24 PM
Moist.
 
2011-10-04 02:38:41 PM
Elhitti's lawyer, Michael Smith, suggested Elhitti told the man he had only invited him to the spa as a prank to find out if he was gay, but never gave him a massage. Smith suggested that the remark made the man angry, leading him to call Elhitti names and threaten to "make him pay."

The man has since filed a nearly million-dollar lawsuit against Elhitti.


Well, I think we've found out if he's gay or not.
 
2011-10-04 02:40:06 PM
It's the unwritten rule of the masseuse...

i218.photobucket.com
 
2011-10-04 02:40:32 PM
i1080.photobucket.com
 
2011-10-04 02:45:46 PM
So was there a happy ending or not?

/Swedish massage please...
 
2011-10-04 03:05:11 PM
He is so upset that some guy tried to suck his dick that he's suing for a million dollars? Why, to prove he's not gay?

I'd like to inform this guy that no amount of money is going to make him forget that it felt good to get his dick sucked by a guy, so he might as well just accept it and move on.

Blowjobs feel good (to receive...never given one, can't speak to that).
 
2011-10-04 03:07:15 PM

Jument: Elhitti's lawyer, Michael Smith, suggested Elhitti told the man he had only invited him to the spa as a prank to find out if he was gay, but never gave him a massage. Smith suggested that the remark made the man angry, leading him to call Elhitti names and threaten to "make him pay."

The man has since filed a nearly million-dollar lawsuit against Elhitti.

Well, I think we've found out if he's gay or not.


Um, oops. I thought the massage therapist (hehe) was a woman. This story was far more entertaining in my head. Possibly because I go to a female massage therapist and have had, you know, thoughts.
 
2011-10-04 03:17:33 PM
 
2011-10-04 04:10:20 PM

F42: "I don't normally go on gay dates,

but when I do,

I get naked, lie on my back and I sue anyone who sucks my cock."


</thread>
 
2011-10-04 04:14:54 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Elhitti told him he needed practice hours to qualify as a certified therapist.


And thank you.

The rest of you should be ashamed for your lack of Tobias references.
 
2011-10-04 04:29:17 PM
Was it this guy? (new window)
 
2011-10-04 04:36:23 PM
Huh, I guess this guy disproves what George Carlin once said: Here's something you never hear a guy say: "Stop sucking my dick, or I'll call the police!"
 
2011-10-04 04:37:59 PM
So did he come?
 
2011-10-04 04:38:51 PM
The headline made me imagine beautiful things, things about a massage parlor, an attractive asian lady, and a man about to have a wonderful evening. The article ruined my fantasy.
 
2011-10-04 04:45:21 PM
I remember walking around campus one day and seeing a flier on one of the public posting boards. Apparently, a massage student was looking for athletic young men to try out her newly learned techniques on. All you had to do was call her and come to her apartment for a free massage. There were a few kinds of massage to choose from, including 'erotic.' Her email address was some shiat like a­sia­nk­e­w­ti­e[nospam-﹫-backwards]re­v­et­a­hw*co­m.

I sort of assumed that the place would be full of muggers or some shiat. This article makes me think that maybe it was some creepy guy instead? Who knows.

/csb over
 
2011-10-04 04:58:20 PM

Submitted First With a Better Headline: Who knows.


Dude. She was totally hot.
You should have gone.

just don't peek under her kimono.
 
2011-10-04 05:00:56 PM

Submitted First With a Better Headline: I remember walking around campus one day and seeing a flier on one of the public posting boards. Apparently, a massage student was looking for athletic young men to try out her newly learned techniques on. All you had to do was call her and come to her apartment for a free massage. There were a few kinds of massage to choose from, including 'erotic.' Her email address was some shiat like asiankewtie[nospam-﹫-backwards]revetahw*com.

I sort of assumed that the place would be full of muggers or some shiat. This article makes me think that maybe it was some creepy guy instead? Who knows.

/csb over


Your csb reminds me of this special offer:

img830.imageshack.us
 
2011-10-04 05:20:43 PM
e.domaindlx.com
"I just have one question..."
 
2011-10-04 05:23:46 PM
This plot line would have made a great Law and Order
 
2011-10-04 05:28:36 PM

Slackfumasta: He is so upset that some guy tried to suck his dick that he's suing for a million dollars? Why, to prove he's not gay?

I'd like to inform this guy that no amount of money is going to make him forget that it felt good to get his dick sucked by a guy, so he might as well just accept it and move on.

Blowjobs feel good (to receive...never given one, can't speak to that).


With ya there. Blow job's a blow job. As long as they aren't asking me to reciprocate, go for it. I'll just pretend you're the hot liquor store girl I flirt with every week...just don't talk to me afterward.

/Will never get her...*sigh*
 
2011-10-04 05:35:42 PM
Wow, at first I thought this was a repeat, but then it got weird...
 
2011-10-04 05:37:46 PM

WhoGAS: With ya there. Blow job's a blow job. As long as they aren't asking me to reciprocate, go for it. I'll just pretend you're the hot liquor store girl I flirt with every week Jack Palance...just don't talk to me afterward.


FTFY
 
2011-10-04 05:57:10 PM
I think I would have just enjoyed it and moved on.
 
2011-10-04 06:20:43 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: This plot line would have made a great Law and Order


Give them two weeks to write the script... Plus one to cast the role of the spa owner....
 
2011-10-04 07:08:52 PM
Wow, seriously...you're offered a free beej with no strings attached and you run crying to the cops? Loser.
 
2011-10-04 07:27:41 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: This plot line would have made a great Law and Order

SVU

FTFY
/haven't gotten over L&O cancellation
 
2011-10-04 09:26:08 PM
Just be a man, close your eyes and think of Cytherea.
 
2011-10-04 11:52:28 PM
A massage and a happy ending. God, some people are so spoiled.
 
2011-10-05 11:56:20 AM

F42: "I don't normally go on gay dates,

but when I do,

I get naked, lie on my back and I sue anyone who sucks my cock."


Wow... the Dos Equis dude has gone too far! Too far, I tell you!
 
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