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(Sun Sentinel)   Caleb is a high-energy Dutch shepherd who loves his work - Making sure snowflakes hate their helicopter parents   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 62
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14336 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2011 at 12:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-10-02 10:33:15 AM
But if his dog turns up a large quantity, Novotak said, he calls police

So, you're too lazy to find your kid's drugs, you pay this schmuck to do it, and then your kid goes away on a felony drug rap for which you get to pick up the $100k lawyer bill.

What a country.
 
2011-10-02 12:09:35 PM
"Caleb is a Dutch Shepherd, which is a cross between a Belgian Malinois & a standard German Shepherd..." No, moron--Caleb is either a purebred Dutch Shepherd or a mutt. A Dutch Shepherd is its own breed.
 
2011-10-02 12:17:31 PM
Caleb has titanium teeth? Nice. Those'll slice through your scrotum like titanium teeth through a scrotum.
 
2011-10-02 12:19:00 PM
And how many parents aren't calling because the dog might find their stash instead.
 
2011-10-02 12:20:19 PM
p.s. Can I get titanium teeth? Sounds awesome!

2.bp.blogspot.com
Screw stainless steel.
 
2011-10-02 12:20:44 PM
I want to punch this guy. In the dick. Which is pretty much anywhere, since he's a giant dick.
 
2011-10-02 12:21:02 PM
"It's not a lot for you to open your door if you haven't done anything," Stone said. "At our school you don't have any rights."

love it
 
2011-10-02 12:23:44 PM
And can we get this guy to come to parties? It sometimes takes too much time to locate the guy who has the KB. That time is time wasted when you want to get wasted and move on to bird-doggin' the chicks.
 
2011-10-02 12:25:40 PM
If you suspect your kid is using, just search the damn room yourself. Why hire someone to do what you can do for free? It's your house, you pay the mortgage. If Junior doesn't like it, tell him if he wants to smoke more weed than Willie Nelson's traveling band, he can do it in his own home, that he pays the mortgage on.

CSS time - One of my older cousins back in the 80s had a bit of a problem with the green stuff, and my uncle told him that he didn't care what drugs he did or didn't do, provided it wasn't happening on his property. So he got high with his friends somewhere else, he never kept his stash at home, and everyone was happy. Well, as happy as a parent can be knowing their kid is doing drugs, but you get the picture. My uncle's main thing was he didn't want it in the house where his younger sisters could find it, and possibly get a hold of it.
 
2011-10-02 12:26:09 PM
I remember when kids just had the right to STFU and do as we were told.
 
2011-10-02 12:27:03 PM

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: "It's not a lot for you to open your door if you haven't done anything," Stone said. "At our school you don't have any rights."

love it


This.
 
2011-10-02 12:28:07 PM
Just want to remind/inform parents who read this thread that, according to research, your kids take what you say seriously. Be very clear about the dangers of drugs, and let your children know, if you feel this way, that doing drugs is dangerous, leads to undesirable outcomes, and could negatively affect their future.

//Be vocal and specific.
/Set a good example - deal with your problems in constructive ways, learn how to properly handle stress, and teach them these things. They'll thank you later!
 
2011-10-02 12:31:16 PM
My son has a (15 y.o.) friend whose parents make him take piss tests every month. The kid is as clean as a whistle, and any moron can tell just by talking to him for 20 seconds that he's never done anything. Anyway, he's never been busted with drugs or failed a test but you can bet your ass his parents have successfully alienated him from them for the rest of their lives.
I thought these parents were unique in doing something like this, but this article obviously proves me wrong.
Reap what you sow.
 
2011-10-02 12:31:51 PM

Marcus Aurelius: But if his dog turns up a large quantity, Novotak said, he calls police

So, you're too lazy to find your kid's drugs, you pay this schmuck to do it, and then your kid goes away on a felony drug rap for which you get to pick up the $100k lawyer bill.

What a country.


If you have no idea if your kid is using drugs or not (not walking around all stoned, grades not dropping, not hanging out with shady people), to the point you need to hire a drug sniffing dog, even if they ARE using drugs, they dont have a PROBLEM. My high school had i think 13 valedictorians*, i know for a fact that a few of them smoked pot. But yeah, if you need a dog to know if your kid is on hard drugs, you fail as a parent.

/*one of the top in the country, public school, no weighted grading, 13 was after only taking the kids with perfect attendance too iirc.
//and the one dumb girl who got straight As with zero honor classes, gym and study hall every semester, pissed a lot of people off
 
2011-10-02 12:32:43 PM
I may not like what is going on here, but this is not exactly what one means when they say "helicopter parent".
 
2011-10-02 12:33:07 PM
You've already failed as a parent if you outsource your discipline.
 
2011-10-02 12:35:59 PM
Get a retired drug dog and sell his services to stoners who get so baked they lose their stash. $30 or half the stash, no questions and no names.
 
2011-10-02 12:46:39 PM

Plissken: My son has a (15 y.o.) friend whose parents make him take piss tests every month. The kid is as clean as a whistle, and any moron can tell just by talking to him for 20 seconds that he's never done anything. Anyway, he's never been busted with drugs or failed a test but you can bet your ass his parents have successfully alienated him from them for the rest of their lives.
I thought these parents were unique in doing something like this, but this article obviously proves me wrong.
Reap what you sow.


I left home the day my dad threatened to piss test me, and ended up going on a 5 year bender. I don't thing that was the intended outcome.
 
2011-10-02 12:54:48 PM
Hell yeah,

And properly disposing of the controlled substances for the parents is just another revenue stream.

He can bag, tag it, and resell it.
 
2011-10-02 12:58:23 PM
You know who else hated the Dutch?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-10-02 01:07:25 PM
Until it backfires on the parents:

27.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-10-02 01:09:33 PM
this is why I always hid my weed in my brother's closet - just in case.
 
2011-10-02 01:15:18 PM
Yeah, fine plan until the kid starts taking countermeasures.

Spray bottle with bong water misted in every room. In Closets. Where Dad hides his porn, etc

How many false alerts and doggie damage to furniture until the thought that maybe this wasn't such a good idea occurs.
 
2011-10-02 01:20:02 PM
He works for people who want to make sure family members or employees aren't using drugs, but who don't want to involve police.

What could possibly go wrong?
 
2011-10-02 01:20:23 PM

what_now: You've already failed as a parent if you outsource your discipline.


That pretty much sums it up. We're done here.
 
2011-10-02 01:27:43 PM

JLEM: He works for people who want to make sure family members or employees aren't using drugs, but who don't want to involve police.

What could possibly go wrong?


A severe beating, at least.
 
2011-10-02 01:40:33 PM

Plissken: My son has a (15 y.o.) friend whose parents make him take piss tests every month. The kid is as clean as a whistle, and any moron can tell just by talking to him for 20 seconds that he's never done anything. Anyway, he's never been busted with drugs or failed a test but you can bet your ass his parents have successfully alienated him from them for the rest of their lives.
I thought these parents were unique in doing something like this, but this article obviously proves me wrong.
Reap what you sow.


What if it's something far, far worse.

What if he's thankful his parents are so concerned and watching out for him.

/fun to slip him a trace of brownie the day before "the test"
 
2011-10-02 01:42:33 PM

AcneVulgaris: I left home the day my dad threatened to piss test me, and ended up going on a 5 year bender. I don't thing that was the intended outcome.


Boy, you showed him.
 
2011-10-02 01:45:26 PM

Cyno01: Marcus Aurelius: But if his dog turns up a large quantity, Novotak said, he calls police

So, you're too lazy to find your kid's drugs, you pay this schmuck to do it, and then your kid goes away on a felony drug rap for which you get to pick up the $100k lawyer bill.

What a country.

If you have no idea if your kid is using drugs or not (not walking around all stoned, grades not dropping, not hanging out with shady people), to the point you need to hire a drug sniffing dog, even if they ARE using drugs, they dont have a PROBLEM. My high school had i think 13 valedictorians*, i know for a fact that a few of them smoked pot. But yeah, if you need a dog to know if your kid is on hard drugs, you fail as a parent.

/*one of the top in the country, public school, no weighted grading, 13 was after only taking the kids with perfect attendance too iirc.
//and the one dumb girl who got straight As with zero honor classes, gym and study hall every semester, pissed a lot of people off


I wonder how much it would cost to set up this business with ads and everything, but never actually DO any business, your sole interest here being that you can berate the callers for utterly failing as parents. Preferably legally recorded so it can go on YouTube with a fun storyboarding.

I don't think you'd even need a business license, if you never take any actual money. You're not a business.
 
2011-10-02 02:01:11 PM
this makes all the narrow-minded men with precision haircuts and suits really happy.

In other words, the true scum of our society. The ones we should stop listening to.
 
2011-10-02 02:18:06 PM
So when youre out of weed and need to find someone holding, you can hire this guy, right?

If I have kids someday, and I suspect they're smoking weed, I'll be extremely disappointed that they didn't at least offer to share.
 
2011-10-02 02:30:18 PM

PsiChi: Just want to remind/inform parents who read this thread that, according to research, your kids take what you say seriously. Be very clear about the dangers of drugs, and let your children know, if you feel this way, that doing drugs is dangerous, leads to undesirable outcomes, and could negatively affect their future.

//Be vocal and specific.
/Set a good example - deal with your problems in constructive ways, learn how to properly handle stress, and teach them these things. They'll thank you later!


Yeah, my parents did this. DARE, etc. I was also informed that if I smoked I was off the health insurance.

Of course my brother was allowed wine with dinner from about eight years old on (not a lot). And I grew up to be a crazy biatch who doesn't do any drugs but has done enough research to understand how cannabis became illegal and to understand that most drugs being illegal is HIGHLY political. And my brother's grown up to be a beer snob who brews his own.

Related: I started shiat in college health class (a ridiculous class to begin with) because the class "literature" (an overblown power point) claimed that MDMA causes Alzheimer's like holes in the brain. Yeah, THAT particular lie got broke as a scandal when I was still in high school, folks. I brought in a huge stack of printouts from over a dozen sources explaining why in detail the the class failed at everything.

/that teacher just loved me
//was told afterwards people showed up to watch me to go war with her
 
2011-10-02 02:37:38 PM
What is a "helicopter parent" ?
 
2011-10-02 02:46:55 PM

slc11082: What is a "helicopter parent" ?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lyjuC2xXa8
 
2011-10-02 02:47:16 PM
well that was disappointing. i expected a guy from Holland who tended sheep.
 
2011-10-02 03:01:04 PM
So according to all the seasoned parents on this thread, the parents who are doing everything they can to keep their kids off drugs are the bad guys?

I think I know where the entitled snowflakes can be found...
 
2011-10-02 03:03:56 PM

cjoshuav: So according to all the seasoned parents on this thread, the parents who are doing everything they can to keep their kids off drugs are the bad guys?

I think I know where the entitled snowflakes can be found...


For shame, those who refuse to sic overpriced German Shepherds on their kids instead of just having a simple conversation.
 
2011-10-02 03:05:37 PM

cjoshuav: So according to all the seasoned parents on this thread, the parents who are doing everything they can to keep their kids off drugs are the bad guys?

I think I know where the entitled snowflakes can be found...


29.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-10-02 03:17:18 PM
This would be a perfect opportunity to see if a drug smuggler's odor masking attempts work or not.
 
2011-10-02 03:21:38 PM

JLEM:

For shame, those who refuse to sic overpriced German Shepherds on their kids instead of just having a simple conversation.


But the content of this thread indicates that there are several people here who clearly would try to subvert their parents' attempts to determine if they were using drugs. (Most addicts, in fact, would do that in my experience.) So, for parents faced with that situation, where their kid's behavior has forced them to continue to escalate their level of investigation/intervention, this is a logical, eventual step.

I don't get the overwhelmingly negative response to involved, intentional parenting. I know, I know. Welcome to Fark.
 
2011-10-02 03:25:07 PM

slc11082: What is a "helicopter parent" ?


But seriously, it's a pejorative term for parents who "hover" over their kids.
If you've ever been in the backwash of a helicopter that's hovering at "rock-tossing range", you'll know why that's annoying.

You can even subclassify them into categories.
The Chinook: Brings along a lot of baggage, both physical and emotional. No, lady, we really don't care what your girlfriend's aunt's sister's kid did in '05, and your kid does not need a backpack that weighs fifty pounds and could supply McGyver.
The Apache Lives to find a reason to swoop in and wreck you. Seriously, you had best arrange your entire program around their one snowflake, or you're going to get it. Other helicopter parents had also better watch out-this one's got a cannon and isn't afraid to use it.
Sometimes you get blowhards with no real power-they think they're an Apache, but they're really just a noisy whirlybird with delusions of grandeur. Go ahead and call them an Airwolf.
The Dolphin. What most of them think they are, but very few are: the rare Helicopter Parent who stands ready to rescue their kid from any real trouble, but otherwise stays out of the way.
 
2011-10-02 03:42:24 PM

cjoshuav: JLEM:

For shame, those who refuse to sic overpriced German Shepherds on their kids instead of just having a simple conversation.

But the content of this thread indicates that there are several people here who clearly would try to subvert their parents' attempts to determine if they were using drugs. (Most addicts, in fact, would do that in my experience.) So, for parents faced with that situation, where their kid's behavior has forced them to continue to escalate their level of investigation/intervention, this is a logical, eventual step.

I don't get the overwhelmingly negative response to involved, intentional parenting. I know, I know. Welcome to Fark.


i didn't do drugs, smoke, drink, or even f*ck as a teenager, and my dad had to gall to ask if i was on drugs.

then again, he routinely missed the point.
 
2011-10-02 03:50:38 PM

cjoshuav: So, for parents faced with that situation, where their kid's behavior has forced them to continue to escalate their level of investigation/intervention, this is a logical, eventual step.


Yeah, sic a police dog on them. Logical, captain.
 
2011-10-02 04:03:03 PM

what_now: You've already failed as a parent if you outsource your discipline.


Not quite. This is outsourcing your intelligence-gathering.
If I had good reason to suspect my kid even after having conversations, or my kid was hostile to open communication, then hail yeah, I'd bring in a drug dog. There's lots of junk in the average teenager's room that might hinder a hand-search, and with a dog you don't need to completely destroy the room, or wade through week old sandwiches to find ( or not) what you're looking for.

And for those of you who DNRTFA, this is not a "police dog", and it does not attack the teenagers. The dog is a tool used to search for the presence of illegal substances. End.
 
2011-10-02 04:29:57 PM

Harridan:
Not quite. This is outsourcing your intelligence-gathering.
If I had good reason to suspect my kid even after having conversations, or my kid was hostile to open communication, then hail yeah, I'd bring in a drug dog...And for those of you who DNRTFA, this is not a "police dog", and it does not attack the teenagers. The dog is a tool used to search for the presence of illegal substances. End.


Exactly my take on the article. Glad I'm not alone in that.
 
2011-10-02 04:53:06 PM

Feral_and_Preposterous: Caleb has titanium teeth? Nice. Those'll slice through your scrotum like titanium teeth through a scrotum.


That analogy is remarkably accurate.

slc11082: What is a "helicopter parent" ?


Here ya go (new window).
 
2011-10-02 04:55:21 PM
Well the fact is if your kids is criminal then this maybe a chance to turn things around. But you will not hear that because fark is full of drug addled morons who will defend drug use anywhere and with anyone, for obvious reasons.
 
2011-10-02 05:08:49 PM
Wouldn't the owner of the business be liable if he didn't report any found drugs to the cops? I don't think I'd want to risk subjecting my kid to a criminal record before I had a chance to do something about it myself.
 
2011-10-02 05:34:24 PM

JLEM:
Yeah, sic a police dog on them. Logical, captain.


These are drug-sniffing dogs--not attack dogs--but don't let the facts interfere with your rants. Please, do continue.
 
2011-10-02 05:54:27 PM
Who needs a dog? The smell of weed is pretty hard to erase and those 6 pine trees hanging from the rear view mirror just scream out pothead. What parent with a little practical knowledge from their (distant) past would need a dog? Only took me 10 minutes to find my son's stash when I busted him.

Parent to parent here.......I've never seen so many fat juicy buds in one place. 20 years ago, it looked like dry oregano compared to what I found.

No, I didn't smoke it. I flushed it in front of him, thought the poor kid was going to dig up the septic tank to rescue those buds.
 
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