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(Cracked)   Before you read this, please raise your hand and repeat after us: "I will not do drugs because of some words I read on a comedy website." Thank you   (cracked.com) divider line 56
    More: Amusing, Botox Treatment, violent video games, post-traumatic stress disorders, traumatic experience, attention spans, clinical psychologist  
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21789 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2011 at 10:57 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-10-01 09:59:05 AM  
I'll do drugs for entirely other reasons.
 
2011-10-01 10:31:52 AM  
Livin' the dream!

i.crackedcdn.com
 
2011-10-01 10:40:56 AM  
Please raise your hand and repeat after me:

"I will not make something into a slideshow just to get clicks"
 
2011-10-01 11:09:23 AM  
Comedy website? I thought it was Cracked.
 
2011-10-01 11:13:48 AM  
It would be hilarious if Fark occasionally picked one Cracked article and didn't greenlight it.
 
2011-10-01 11:14:10 AM  
So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't be messing with them.
 
2011-10-01 11:15:24 AM  
#1. LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms Cure Headaches and Fear of Death Itself

One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.
 
2011-10-01 11:16:52 AM  
Meh article, saw one great line though.

It doesn't matter how much you love pot or how badly you want it legalized, you still wouldn't hit the bong before climbing into the cockpit of a fighter jet.
 
2011-10-01 11:18:48 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: #1. LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms Cure Headaches and Fear of Death Itself

One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.


You know that anti-depression medicine can cause suicidal behavior in people who don't need anti-depressants, right? And they talk about speed being used to treat ADD and ADHD. If you don' t have an imbalance that needs correction, you're going to get an imbalance from using.
 
2011-10-01 11:20:18 AM  

Mouser: So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't don't actually need to be messing with them.


Let's keep it straight. There's no such man as who couldn't use a hefty dose of chemical bliss once in a while as icing on the cake.
 
2011-10-01 11:20:51 AM  

tarmon: Comedy website? I thought it was Cracked.


www.blogcdn.com
 
2011-10-01 11:22:48 AM  

ArkAngel: Please raise your hand and repeat after me:

"I will not make something into a slideshow just to get clicks"


It's not a slideshow, it's just paginated. Paginated is another, but similar, evil of design.
 
2011-10-01 11:24:03 AM  

BolloxReader: Tyrone Slothrop: #1. LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms Cure Headaches and Fear of Death Itself

One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.

You know that anti-depression medicine can cause suicidal behavior in people who don't need anti-depressants, right? And they talk about speed being used to treat ADD and ADHD. If you don' t have an imbalance that needs correction, you're going to get an imbalance from using.


Worst month of my life was when the Navy doctor prescribed anti-depressants. No, I'm not depressed. Being in the Navy sucks ass.
 
2011-10-01 11:25:44 AM  

Mouser: So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't be messing with them.


I don't need chocolate cake, but I like it so I will eat some for personal enjoyment. I don't need the vicodin my girlfriend was prescribed but I like it so I will eat some for personal enjoyment.

You sound boring.
 
2011-10-01 11:28:20 AM  
I like Cracked, too, but do we need to greenlight EVERY article from there? Cause if I want to read every Cracked article, I'll just, you know... go to Cracked...
 
2011-10-01 11:29:51 AM  
Interesting about the caffeine. I have never had coffee and rarely drink soda. My wife always jokes to me that I have ADD, or ADHD, or something like that. I only heard the first few words of what she said.
 
2011-10-01 11:30:51 AM  
Fine! I'll just go become an alcoholic. I don't see any warnings against that.
 
2011-10-01 11:45:07 AM  
No, I'll use drugs because I'm a self-admitted drug addict. See I prefer drugs safer than alcohol and tobacco. I prefer them so much I'm willing to risk my entire life to use them.

/leisurely
//lol war on plants
///the plants are WINNING
 
2011-10-01 11:58:50 AM  
By now everybody knows the medical benefits of marijuana for cancer patients. But as far as benefits go, that's about it.

Hmm I guess all those AIDS, MS, ALS, glaucoma, and depression patients are no good liars.

/and the scientist too
 
2011-10-01 11:59:49 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: #1. LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms Cure Headaches and Fear of Death Itself

One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.


The only time I thought I saw Death coming for me and was terrified, I was on LSD...and gin...and a bicycle.

Dammed bicycle!
 
2011-10-01 12:03:25 PM  

jst3p: Mouser: So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't be messing with them.

I don't need chocolate cake, but I like it so I will eat some for personal enjoyment. I don't need the vicodin my girlfriend was prescribed but I like it so I will eat some for personal enjoyment.

You sound boring.


Why do you hate your brain?
 
2011-10-01 12:07:44 PM  
everyone who saw positive benefits were elderly. Brain chemistry changes once the brain matures (which doesn't happen until around age 30)

30 is old now?
 
2011-10-01 12:07:47 PM  
I was only going to do the drugs in order to make Cracked seem as funny as it thinks it is.
 
2011-10-01 12:10:26 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: #1. LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms Cure Headaches and Fear of Death Itself

One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.


That was just your hair screaming.
 
2011-10-01 12:15:49 PM  
Link (new window)
 
2011-10-01 12:16:38 PM  
Oddly, one of the best headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.
 
2011-10-01 12:25:19 PM  

Mouser: Why do you hate your brain?


Why do you hate your life?

You know that if you don't eat often and you only eat super healthy bland food and never take any risks you can probably pass away in a husk that's 120 years old without much difficulty.

The thing is: you'll die the minute you set foot on that path. Go watch Braveheart again. Maybe even just the war speech on youtube: Every man must die. But not every man truly lives!"

If you don't experiment and learn things, how can you call that living?
 
2011-10-01 12:52:11 PM  
Lets see if I can peg this thread down.

"LOLOLOL CRAKECD SO BADD WFARK Y U GREENLIGHT!??!?"

"LOLOLOL DRUGGS SULD B LEGL fark GUBVMITN"

"LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I R RTETARD"


Looks like I covered all the bases here, off I go.
 
2011-10-01 12:52:14 PM  
Cracked has turned out to be a much better site than I originally thought.

They actually produce some thought provoking articles and, apparently, someone takes time to check facts.

The Alzheimer's Pot treatment is interesting. I don't smoke it because it doesn't make me feel happy -- just buzzed and takes about 8 hours to come down off one joint. Though, mixing it with booze and a fine lady produced some memorable times in the bedroom.

Please note that the human brain doesn't mature until around 30. That's why the Hippies used to tell you not to trust anyone over 30. By then, people realize that sprawling around in feces tainted mud in a field at Woodstock isn't such fun after all.

The video game part was interesting. However, I still think that combatants dressed in enough armor to make a tank, with their TINY heads poking up, look ridiculous. It reminds me of some old DC comics, where everyone -- hero and villain -- were over muscled.

The LSD thing is odd. Never used the stuff, but I did work in a medical ward where a couple of us had to break down a patient's room door, grab the LSD burnout inside and shove him into a secured room. He was later transferred to a state mental institution with the prognosis of being crazy for the rest of his life. Note: I was in my 20's and in good shape. I got through the door, grabbed the skinny guy around his neck and he just straightened up, lifted me right off the floor and headed for the nearest wall. A Navy trained lab tech jumped in and grabbed him before he made me part of the paint.

If they can find another use for the powerful drug aside from making kids crazy, that's fine with me.

Did Kava-kava as a substitute for booze when I was trying to sober up. Didn't experience the euphoric feeling it was supposed to give you but did feel unpleasantly odd. I made a tea out of it, as natives do. It will never replace a beer.

BTW. One of the main active ingredients in extra strength painkillers, OTC types, containing aspirin and acetaminophen is 65 mg of caffeine. Overuse of the product can actually GENERATE headaches and then coming off it, you get to suffer even more headaches for about three days.

The commercial health food bit did surprise me, but not all that much. I'm far too familiar with big business selling you krap that they heavily advertise as healthy and turns out to be, well, krap. I already knew about the bottled vitamin water bit. Each bottle contains enough vitamins to be as if they dipped a pill in, fished it out a second later, and used the same pill for about 100 bottles.

The muffin thing did surprise me. I don't like them, but I know stores sell them like crazy.

Nothing like good, old time misrepresentation to sell dubious products and consider it 'good business'.
 
2011-10-01 12:58:13 PM  

Malcolm_Sex: By now everybody knows the medical benefits of marijuana for cancer patients. But as far as benefits go, that's about it.

Hmm I guess all those AIDS, MS, ALS, glaucoma, and depression patients are no good liars.

/and the scientist too


Well duh, they're all drug addicts.

/Yes the scientists too.
 
2011-10-01 01:00:13 PM  

Rik01: The video game part was interesting. However, I still think that combatants dressed in enough armor to make a tank, with their TINY heads poking up, look ridiculous.


Space Marines usually have a helmet. Their armor is supposed to be powered, so it's not just enough armor to make a tank, it is a bipedal tank for one.

Considering they use "bullets" that are actually RPGs and they regularly fight against aliens that can tear a hole through a foot of steel in one claw swipe according to the gamesworkshop people, it makes a lot of sense that they'd need 300% more armor than flesh.
 
2011-10-01 01:18:54 PM  

Lizara: I like Cracked, too, but do we need to greenlight EVERY article from there? Cause if I want to read every Cracked article, I'll just, you know... go to Cracked...


Sure, and then you can go and post with those knuckleheads under the article instead of having a Fark thread about it.
 
2011-10-01 01:38:53 PM  
There is a website I refuse to go to (consumerist), so I check out the Fark threads connected them instead. I think they're better than the articles themselves anyway.
 
2011-10-01 01:41:56 PM  

Lizara: I like Cracked, too, but do we need to greenlight EVERY article from there? Cause if I want to read every Cracked article, I'll just, you know... go to Cracked...


On the plus side, they're the only articles that don't show up on Fark with troll taglines.

ArkAngel: "I will not make something into a slideshow just to get clicks"


You're lucky then, it's not a slide-show.
 
2011-10-01 01:53:35 PM  
true story. chronic lsd use at 19 cured the migraines I suffered as a teenager. I haven't had a headache in almost 20 years.

have you ever looked at your hand? I mean really looked at it?
 
2011-10-01 02:08:04 PM  

Mouser: So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't be messing with them.

[csb]
Eh, I cured my crippling social anxiety, arachnophobia, and anger issues through self-applied psychedelic therapy, I'm definitely not one of those, "Be one with everything, take LSD" types, although I'm familiar with that particular experience as well. I did a whole lot of research, had some misfires, and went a bit off the deep end chasing stuff that didn't exist for awhile but I'm no worse for the wear. I wouldn't recommend it for most people though, especially the whole "self-applied" bit. I have used psychedelics recreationally as well, and I'm of the opinion that a couple hits of acid or grams of mushrooms once or twice a year is beneficial, or at least fairly harmless for someone without delusional or schizophrenic tendencies.
[/csb]

/been about two years since the last trip
//everything I purposefully did is still holding together
///still not something I'd recommend though.
 
2011-10-01 02:08:40 PM  
I hate Cracked. As far back as I can remember, it was always just an inferior version of Mad Magazine. And the fact that Cracked has sponsored links and not Mad Magazine, makes me contemplate the infinite realities of the universe. Is there a Mad.com? Wheres Alfred?
 
2011-10-01 02:16:30 PM  

doglover: Mouser: So, the gist of the article is: Drugs are for the elderly, mmmkay?

Long version: Mind-altering drugs should only be used by people who actually need their minds altered, such as folks suffering from migranes, depression, hyperactivity, or the onset of dementia. If you have a young, healthy and active brain, you don't need them and shouldn't don't actually need to be messing with them.

Let's keep it straight. There's no such man as who couldn't use a hefty dose of chemical bliss once in a while as icing on the cake.


Drugs done in moderation open your perspective and can get you out of a rut in life. Alcohol just makes you do things you regret and then you feel bad the next day. In terms of a recreational release I'd say drugs like LSD, Mushrooms, MDMA, Marijuana are better to do on occasion than going out and getting drunk.

/if only I could find them
 
2011-10-01 02:19:39 PM  
You know, I have been wondering. Are there any pro poker players who use Botox to counter their sells?
 
2011-10-01 02:40:50 PM  

urban.derelict: No, I'll use drugs because I'm a self-admitted drug addict. See I prefer drugs safer than alcohol and tobacco. I prefer them so much I'm willing to risk my entire life to use them.

/leisurely
//lol war on plants
///the plants are WINNING


Those poor poor zombies.
 
2011-10-01 03:31:22 PM  
Why is this surprising?

They're DRUGS after all, that's what drugs do. Just some are illegal, some are controlled and some you can get over the counter.

Cocaine and Opium were legit medicaments back in the day. They were just taken out because folks were getting a little too happy and using them too much.
 
2011-10-01 03:37:23 PM  
The only thing that would make Cracked a bigger waste of bandwidth would be if they hired Wampler. Whether they are "affiliates"** or not, nothing they have ever done has been funny or original.

** All Drew's affiliates/business partners should be referred to as "Fark Buddies", IMO.
 
2011-10-01 04:32:41 PM  

Rik01:

The LSD thing is odd. Never used the stuff, but I did work in a medical ward where a couple of us had to break down a patient's room door, grab the LSD burnout inside and shove him into a secured room. He was later transferred to a state mental institution with the prognosis of being crazy for the rest of his life. Note: I was in my 20's and in good shape. I got through the door, grabbed the skinny guy around his neck and he just straightened up, lifted me right off the floor and headed for the nearest wall. A Navy trained lab tech jumped in and grabbed him before he made me part of the paint.



You should have just given him some LSD. He'd stare engrossed at whatever shiny bauble you gave him and follow you around burbling happily to himself.
 
2011-10-01 04:54:11 PM  
On the subject of video games treating PTSD, I concur wholeheartedly. My brother served the Army for years in Afghanistan, Kosovo, and even in Iraq, and he came home from that war a broken man. Once, our mother gave him one of those Army Bear beanie babies, and suddenly he was bawling on his wife's shoulder about his battle buddies who died right in front of him during IED detonations.
Then he got an Xbox360 and started playing BF: Bad Company. It took him right back to the war, he said, right back to doing what he loved most - fighting for his friends, his team mates, and his country.
Once he got into that, he never had another breakdown. He needed closure, he needed to deliver some solid blows to the enemy who was then thousands of miles away. The level of realism and sense of accomplishment in battle in games like BF:BC brought him that closure and for that I will be forever grateful to its creators.
 
2011-10-01 05:38:57 PM  

MayoSlather: Drugs done in moderation open your perspective and can get you out of a rut in life. Alcohol just makes you do things you regret and then you feel bad the next day. In terms of a recreational release I'd say drugs like LSD, Mushrooms, MDMA, Marijuana are better to do on occasion than going out and getting drunk.


Alcohol in moderation can give you perspective too. It can loosen you up enough to help you see things in a different light. If you look at the last sentence in your paragraph, hopefully you will see the false dichotomy that you presented. You're comparing occasional use of those other drugs with getting drunk. Getting drunk is not using alcohol in moderation. I can drink a six pack of beer and not be drunk.
 
2011-10-01 05:47:28 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: One of the worst headaches I've ever had was while I was on LSD.


On LSD things can go to +/- 11.

BolloxReader: You know that anti-depression medicine can cause suicidal behavior in people who don't need anti-depressants, right? And they talk about speed being used to treat ADD and ADHD. If you don' t have an imbalance that needs correction, you're going to get an imbalance from using.


You realize that LSD can be farkton of fun right? Of of all the things that can mess you up, LSD doesn't remotely compare with Booze and Women? (I mean LSD never made me want to go up on the roof and jump off)

\amirite?
 
2011-10-01 06:34:17 PM  
Look, LSD makes neurons fire stronger, be more sensitive to firing and recover faster. That`s it. Your visual cortex is made of neurons so if you take enough LSD then the neuron to the side of one that fires due to seeing something also fires and can set off the one next to it etc. Those are visuals.

Another thing that can happen is that a thought can happen that you just could not have without LSD. The firing sequence can cause a neuron to fire that never would without LSD. This lets you think things you couldn`t without it. Some people do not like thinking new things...

If your brain is only just holding on to sanity then LSD can tip you over the edge. Like a 25 year old stock engine being fed nitrous oxide.
 
2011-10-01 09:26:54 PM  

doglover: Mouser: Why do you hate your brain?

Why do you hate your life?

You know that if you don't eat often and you only eat super healthy bland food and never take any risks you can probably pass away in a husk that's 120 years old without much difficulty.

The thing is: you'll die the minute you set foot on that path. Go watch Braveheart again. Maybe even just the war speech on youtube: Every man must die. But not every man truly lives!"

If you don't experiment and learn things, how can you call that living?


There are two routes to knowledge: study and experience. Experience is harder. Sometimes it's deadly.

When it comes to the use of mind-altering chemicals, we have ample material for study, enough that the experience itself is a needless risk. Why repeat other peoples' mistakes?
 
2011-10-01 09:55:32 PM  

Mouser: doglover: Mouser: Why do you hate your brain?

Why do you hate your life?

You know that if you don't eat often and you only eat super healthy bland food and never take any risks you can probably pass away in a husk that's 120 years old without much difficulty.

The thing is: you'll die the minute you set foot on that path. Go watch Braveheart again. Maybe even just the war speech on youtube: Every man must die. But not every man truly lives!"

If you don't experiment and learn things, how can you call that living?

There are two routes to knowledge: study and experience. Experience is harder. Sometimes it's deadly.

When it comes to the use of mind-altering chemicals, we have ample material for study, enough that the experience itself is a needless risk. Why repeat other peoples' mistakes?


Why assume you understand the mistakes you haven't made?
 
2011-10-01 09:57:49 PM  
The botox one is ridiculous. Do they even understand science?

Here's a hint, Cracked/others: drugs are drugs. there is no difference between a drug such as THC or LSD and any other compound you put in your body! It has effects and side effects. FOOD has effects and side effects. ANYTHING YOU INGEST has effects and side effects, including water. This is why I get angry when people say "I don't take medicine, I only have natural herbs."
 
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