FARK.com: (660650) Tell your best/worst divorce story. In other news, Fox is looking for divorcees for a new reality show to compete for prizes to replace what was lost during the divorce. They're reading. Voting enabled

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		Tell your best/worst divorce story. In other news, Fox is looking for divorcees for a new reality show to compete for prizes to replace what was lost during the divorce. They're reading. Voting enabled (fox.com)		437
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3612 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2003 at 4:42 PM | Favorite | share:

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crazyeddie		2003-09-23 04:44:55 PM

I'm not divorced.

What do I win again?

Nordburg		2003-09-23 04:45:28 PM

I lost my balls during the marrage nad still have not recovered those as of yet.

FortKnox		2003-09-23 04:45:49 PM

Yeah, how about those of us 'suffering' from staying in marriage? Why not rewards us, not the ones that can't hold a vow?

*Puts on asbestos suit*

depafeo		2003-09-23 04:46:15 PM

fox sucks. if you watch fox you suck.

SAM_I_am		2003-09-23 04:46:17 PM

"Best Divorce" isn't that redundant?

Farquare		2003-09-23 04:46:30 PM

nad ? heh heh

Frankeinstein		2003-09-23 04:46:38 PM

My dignity and vietnamese pot belly pig named April

Henchman		2003-09-23 04:46:41 PM

Attention Fox: Quit pandering to the lowest common denominator of our populace. You're destroying what little dignity and culture we have left. Please think about what you're doing and have the decency to be horrified. Thank you.

Dave_Demonic		2003-09-23 04:47:06 PM

If they can get my dog back, im in.

rotten biatch

(not the dog)

Atario		2003-09-23 04:47:11 PM

Homer: I'd like to file for... divorce.
Clerk: These things happen. Eight dollars.

labboypro		2003-09-23 04:47:12 PM

They're reading? OK... FOX blows. And that is my Fair and Balanced report for today.

cunning_linguist_dc		2003-09-23 04:47:18 PM

i lost good television as soon as 1988 ended.

can fox help me get it back ?

oh wait -- no, they can't.

Quadriflax		2003-09-23 04:47:28 PM

Nordburg
I lost my balls during the marrage nad still have not recovered those as of yet.

Clever pun, or unfortunate typo?

/you decide

mtman900		2003-09-23 04:47:30 PM

I just broke up with my GF of 1yr 9mths. She kept on screaming "What did I do?"

I guess that is pretty close.?

papabusche		2003-09-23 04:47:46 PM

wife slept with my brother
i slept with her best friend
her best friend slept with my brother
they got married
we got divorced

Phil_McRotch		2003-09-23 04:48:00 PM

depafeo - Fox Sports does not suck.

MightyTribble		2003-09-23 04:48:00 PM

FOX is reading this thread?

OK, you farkers, why did you screw up FUTURAMA and FIREFLY? You Suck worse than ten other, not-quite-as-sucky things.

Back on topic, I knew a divorcee, once. Then he went mental and tried to kill his ex. He'd be a good choice for this new show.

Billy_D_Goat		2003-09-23 04:48:04 PM

kuaq		2003-09-23 04:48:06 PM

Parents got divorced, mom lied to my sister and i, tried to bribe us to live with her.

we both bought into it.

mom tried guilt trip when i got fed up with her crap

mom stopped her "visitation rights" with no call/no show when I was 17, have seen her once, for 20 minutes, since. (I'm 23 now)

good thing i'm not bitter at the farking wanker.

crazyeddie		2003-09-23 04:48:09 PM

A vote for me is a vote for the sanctity of marriage!

MrTim		2003-09-23 04:48:15 PM

We were just about married and then she decided to play for the other team..

(no way I'm going on TV though)

Mandrax		2003-09-23 04:48:17 PM

Wait- why are they just looking for divorced men? Or do women get to compete in the follow up, Divorce Stories 2?

Hotblack		2003-09-23 04:48:20 PM

Fox is reading this you say? Hey FOX, quit making crappy reality TV programs!

Cubansaltyballs		2003-09-23 04:48:21 PM

I dated a married girl then she coincidentally got divorced...

I'm sure the two had nothing to do with each other

Seiru		2003-09-23 04:48:22 PM

I refuse to give Fox more fodder for crappy reality shows.

robbyking		2003-09-23 04:48:58 PM

My parents got divorced, and now they're closer than ever. They're just dating other people, that's all.

Do I win best story?

Seiru		2003-09-23 04:49:14 PM

I refuse to give Fox more fodder for crappy reality shows.

Now with voting.

Blatchley		2003-09-23 04:49:16 PM

Hopefully Fox is actually reading so they'll see what content looks like.

Your Name Here		2003-09-23 04:49:30 PM

How the fark is Fox going to get me my son back?

depafeo		2003-09-23 04:49:30 PM

Phil_McRotch - it doesn't matter. There crappy ass news department and shlock reality tv cancel out anything that they do good.

Heuer		2003-09-23 04:49:41 PM

Let's see, I got the house, all three cars and both dogs. She got jack squat.

I win.

SockMonkeyHolocaust		2003-09-23 04:49:47 PM

This needs to be said again:

Attention Fox: Quit pandering to the lowest common denominator of our populace. You're destroying what little dignity and culture we have left. Please think about what you're doing and have the decency to be horrified. Thank you.

ReBurninator		2003-09-23 04:49:49 PM

One time at band camp...

oh, wait. wrong thread.

KingSpike		2003-09-23 04:49:57 PM

My divorce was quite fair and balanced.

Uh oh, they're going to come after me.

Nun on the Run		2003-09-23 04:50:05 PM

In my divorce, I lost my $5 million home, my very expensive collection of art, the brand new sportscar I just bought and my entire savings account of $600,000.

Now, how do I compete to win this back?

skinink		2003-09-23 04:50:13 PM

From Annanova.com
A Romanian couple are planning a divorce after they bumped into each other at a seaside resort while both were pretending to be elsewhere.

The two were talking to each other on their mobile phones when they collided on the beach of Mamaia on the Black Sea, reports the Ziarul daily.

Victor Dragomirescu was complaining how much work he had to do at his parents' house, miles away, and wife Lucica was saying how she was too ill to get out of bed.

Lucica was saying: "I feel worse than ever. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday and I don't think I can stand it any more.

"Thank God we have the mobile phones because I couldn't get out of bed even if for answering the other phone. What about you?"

Victor answered: "Oh, don't ask. If you could just see me I think you wouldn't recognise me. I am all full of dust as I've been to the mill with some corn.

"Now I have to gather the fruit in my mother's yard. I can't look at my hands how horrible they are."

But the discussion ended abruptly when they realised they were standing in front of each other.

The Dragomirescus, from Ploiesti, Prahova county, returned home to try to clear things up but say a divorce is the most likely solution.

DonnaPinciotti		2003-09-23 04:50:24 PM

My parents spent 20 odd years figuring out that they never should have gotten married in the first place. During this excruciating process we lost several holidays, birthdays, vacations, conversations--

Yeah, and some farking network wants to make it into a reality show? To entertain people? That's sick.

(waves the finger wildly)

/disturbed

dreadnought		2003-09-23 04:50:26 PM

Well there was that time I broke my wrist on my dominate hand. Does that count as a divorce?

Thom		2003-09-23 04:50:28 PM

They're reading my ass.

But, in case it is true... can you send me Charla from Paradise Hotel ' s number? Thanks!

kuaq		2003-09-23 04:50:38 PM

oh the cool part is, my sister didn't tell her that she got married (and promptly divorced).

Emperor-Jay		2003-09-23 04:50:45 PM

(sigh) This thread is going to be so depressing.

low_dazzle		2003-09-23 04:50:49 PM

my ex-wife is a biatch. i divorced her because of it.

in the process, i gained my manhood.

that's prize enough for me

Phil_McRotch		2003-09-23 04:50:50 PM

Buddy of mine's parents got divorced.
His parent's best friends also got divorced.
They all do a big swap and remarry.

His mom is married to his stepdad, his dad is married to his stepmom, and his stepmom and stepdad used to be married to each other.

CitizenjaQ		2003-09-23 04:50:59 PM

MightyTribble		2003-09-23 04:51:01 PM

Your Name Here They won't, but they will get you a comparable, imported son, fresh from your choice of Vietnam, South Korea or China!

JosephFinn		2003-09-23 04:51:07 PM

To be fair, I like Fox. FoxNews is a different story.

IamtheWalrus		2003-09-23 04:51:15 PM

She took everything even the friggin light bulbs!

AvengerX		2003-09-23 04:51:24 PM

My wife removed my genitalia with a spoon after I said she looked fat in a certain pair of pants.

She took my dog and my Subaru WRX.

Zombie Eater		2003-09-23 04:51:43 PM

Dear Fox,

Screw reality shows. Please be the first network to drop them completely. Oh, and bring back the George Carlin Show.

doc_grinch		2003-09-23 04:51:43 PM

Wife has hots for husband's best friend
Suspecting the wife is cheating, the husband tells the best friend
He is "shocked" at this news
Wife then screws best friend
Husband finds best friend's man jam on the couch

Husband blackmails wife with dna swabs of best friend's splooge

Husband gets divorced with all the money and all the possessions

It's good to be the husband

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