Nice how they put a stock photo of a vampire, like it's a damn joke.
The "news" is not much different than Fark.

AverageAmericanGuy: White people problems.




Yes, this would definitely be a problem for some whites...

Does the whole hybrid thing much better

/First time posting a pic on here, hope I did it ok. If not then just move along
//Doing an image search for this pic just made me sad to see some of the fan "art" out there

SpaceyStacey: Does the whole hybrid thing much better

/First time posting a pic on here, hope I did it ok. If not then just move along
//Doing an image search for this pic just made me sad to see some of the fan "art" out there

Dang it, said the image was too big

I thought this was going to be a Wolfie Blackheart followup

czei: She's a vampire stuck in a normal body, so naturally all it will take is some plastic surgery and she can stop living a lie.

I want to vote for this!

I can almost see how some bizarre delusion could lead one to thinking they were a vampire who just happened to eat some normal food and occasionally play at eating blood to support the delusion.

But the question I have is, if you think you are a farking werewolf, how do you explain the lack of transforming into a wolf? If you DO think you transform into a wolf, then you can go ahead and be locked up for schizophrenia now, or prove it by transforming on camera.

Oznog: "Since I was like 12 every fiber in my body, basically everything, I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I'm a vampire and part werewolf"

We normally tell teens to listen to themselves and go with it.
Not in this case, though. Not always good advice.

/forget the bird!
//just follow the river


Excellent Willow reference. We don't see near enough of those,

dahmers love zombie: A cross between a lycan Komodo and a vampiric armadillo would create a weredildo with the potential to infect victims with bacterial vampiric lycan leprosy. I think someone needs to give this some serious thought. Even the more pedestrian werecat/wereursa cross, such as a caracal and a grizzly, could produce a werecarebear that would definitely be worthy of a few pages of slash fiction, especially if you could work Bella and Jacob into it. Thrill!

I'm so glad it's empty here at work and nobody can see me trying to stop the tears of pure enjoyment that are streaming down my face.

Hot like a vampire in the sun.

No mention of a weremanbearpig yet?

Not really related, just felt like adding it...

True Story Bro:

One of my friends (that sadly, I haven't seen in a couple of years) is Romanian. As in, Old Country Romania, and IIRC, he can trace his bloodline on one side to Vlad the Impaler. Funny thing is that for a long time he had mild allergies to garlic and roses, and was extremely pale because he had one of those bizarre skin conditions where you actually begin to smoke a bit in sunlight instead of simply tanning/burning like normal people. (I think it's porphyria, as someone previous suggested, but I can't quite remember.) He was also slightly anemic, and sometimes when asleep, his pulse would get so faint it would be nearly undetectable. (He did get better many years later.)

Suffice to say, one day he ended up in the hospital for something, and when he woke up there was a nurse who was reading his chart. As she went down the list of symptoms, allergies, and etc., she began to look visibly worried and shot strange glances at him, apparently recognizing what it all could mean. Another nurse walked in and opened the curtains at the window. He recalls that he had honestly considered hissing and recoiling violently at the ray of sunlight, but he wasn't sure if the nurse with his chart would laugh, scream and run, or try to stake him. :)


Oznog: Funny you should mention that...

These guys ran the EXACT SAME THING as a gay porn called "Twinklight" (loosely SFW trailer) (new window). Only they appear to have a more credible plot than Twilight.

I LOL'd so hard. :'D

Pocket Ninja: Would it even be possible to be both a Vampyr and a werewolf? Biologically speaking, I mean. Can the undead become afflicted with lycanthropy? That actually seems doubtful, since the Vampyr become immune to diseases once they have turned. But perhaps a man bitten by a werewolf, then killed by a Vampyr (aside from being quite misfortunate) would begin his undeath as a were-Vampyr. What a curse that would be. Can you imagine? A Vampyr that would have to change into a werewolf once per month during every full moon? Almost like getting his period. "I can't suck blood tonight, I'm on the full moon."

I wonder if the Vampyr would retain his faculties once the shift happened. Would a wolf be capable of sucking blood? A wolf's mouth is not very well designed as far as forming suction around a puncture or bite wound...at most, I would expect he could only lap up the blood of people he'd bitten. That would make feeding difficult, which would mean the Vampyr would not be getting his required sustenance during each full moon stretch. This would, I'd expect, make the Vampyr vulnerable to other Vampyrs *and* to the pure werewolves also out roaming during this time. Hm. Perhaps this is why we never hear of were-Vampyrs. They cannot survive long, in the wild.

But it's interesting, is it not? The idea, I mean. It raises the possibility of other crosses as well. For example, what if a werewolf becomes bitten by a werebear? Can it become a werewolfbear? Would it become a wolf during one moon and a bear during the other, or would it become some strange, bear/wolf combination? Is there a limit to the number of weres? A werewolfbearpanther? And what if this creature then became bitten by a Vampyr? What then?

They're fascinating, these creatures of the night.

Welcome to my favorites. What is your color of choice, oh hilarious one?

KarmaSpork: DLZombie: you had me at weredildo. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks, man.

Same here. I'm on my lanai, and the neighbors stopped doing yard work to see what I was laughing at. It was that and Pocket Ninja's "I can suck blood tonight, I'm on the full moon."

Can't breathe, laughing too hard at this thread.

TravisBickle62: How is this different from the transgender people who are the new royalty?

How is a leprechaun different from a firetruck?

HotWingConspiracy: LincolnLogolas: What happened to vampires? They went from these soulless, evil, bloodsucking murderous horrors to a bunch of lace-and-black wearing homoerotic fops. In other words, they became whiny goths with a blood fetish.

They're hipsters, but they've been alive for hundreds of years. Ironic retro to them is powdered wigs and cravats.

/saw Beethoven live before he went all corporate

He only wore that powdered wig because his label made him do it. Before that, it was all leather breeches and frayed waistcoats. After he put on the wig, he went down like Raven after "The Pack Is Back." Farking soulless corporate shills.

GreenAdder: Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Obligatory (new window)

Furries.

Even Furries are disgusted about "Otherkin".

/Furries at least know the suit's fake.

Eh, say what you will about the books, Stephanie, the vapid female main character, and the fans (please, say all that you want, as venomously as you want), but the filmmakers knew what many of us wanted to see, and that's lots of eye-candy.





*pant pant pant*

SpaceyCat: I can't tell if the light source is a light fixture or sunlight. One easy way to prove if this kid is actually a vampire or just crazy: put her out in the sunlight for a while. If she bursts into flames or turns to ash, then she's a vampire. If she doesn't, she's just crazy.

...who says that's how vampirism works in our universe? Anne Rice?

/Protip: Stoker didn't.

"One! Two! Three left hooks to your sparkly face! Ah ah ah!" -- Some charming TVTropes captioner.

/...okay, I'm not that charming.

Oznog: LincolnLogolas: What happened to vampires? They went from these soulless, evil, bloodsucking murderous horrors to a bunch of lace-and-black wearing homoerotic fops. In other words, they became whiny goths with a blood fetish.

Funny you should mention that...

These guys ran the EXACT SAME THING as a gay porn called "Twinklight" (loosely SFW trailer) (new window). Only they appear to have a more credible plot than Twilight.

I have that, love it. Even if they're a bunch of pretty twinks humping each other, the vampires in it act more like vampires than Meyers' do. Lots of biting, bleeding, humans as pets and toys, rival vampire hate-farking. It's beautiful.

Tyrannosaurus Reich: I have that, love it. Even if they're a bunch of pretty twinks humping each other, the vampires in it act more like vampires than Meyers' do. Lots of biting, bleeding, humans as pets and toys, rival vampire hate-farking. It's beautiful.

So it's TrueBlood then?

Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

I'm just skeered.

These people can vote.


someone hold me.

RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

ConConHead: Tyrannosaurus Reich: I have that, love it. Even if they're a bunch of pretty twinks humping each other, the vampires in it act more like vampires than Meyers' do. Lots of biting, bleeding, humans as pets and toys, rival vampire hate-farking. It's beautiful.

So it's TrueBlood then?

Sort of, but the vampires are still secretive and apart from humans. Here's the synopsis:

"In this highly anticipated Afton Nills' feature film Billa plays an innocent twink searching for a new beginning. What he finds is the dark and dangerous world of vampires; an erotic and cryptic society filled with farking and blood sucking. Billa spirals deeper into the underworld as he falls for the forbidden but irresistible Edmund, a strong and powerful vampire. Twinklight is a dramatic and graphic expose on the secrets, horrors and sexual fantasies of vampires. Watch as these young and deadly monsters take whatever pleasures they desire, reveling in a world of unrestrained gratification and hardcore twink farking. Watch for more feature films from the new vampire saga Twinklight!"

Chinchillazilla: I hope I catch the disease that makes me live forever.

/although you'd think that one would be well-established in the population by now, right?

This guy may be able to help you (and me) out with that:

(pic pops)

RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Nosferatu was the first vampire story to introduce the "death by sunlight" aspect. Before then vampires were unaffected or merely weakened.

Of course, we have to remember that there are dozens of different vampire lores all around the world, and there's a lot of differences between the vampires between them, the only common theme is blood- or soul-feeding.

Someone needs to soulforge her into an ashtray.

Half vampire, half werewolf? I thought it was this guy.

Wow. Way too much TV.


// Parents, limit your kids' TV consumption. Especially if they're dumbasses.

Tyrannosaurus Reich: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Nosferatu was the first vampire story to introduce the "death by sunlight" aspect. Before then vampires were unaffected or merely weakened.

Of course, we have to remember that there are dozens of different vampire lores all around the world, and there's a lot of differences between the vampires between them, the only common theme is blood- or soul-feeding.

Vrykulakos were plague bringers, not really blood drinkers. Strigoi avoided bright lights, but I dont think there any legends of sunlight destroying them per se. Jiang Se (sp?) are the Chinese variant, but they are just corpses, no mind, and only took the victims life force. Nukekubi just eat the person, so they really don't have the vampire thing going at all. Gaki were kind of like vampires, but they ate all kinds of things. Each to their own vice so to speak.

RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

RY28: RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

Cutting off the head and a stake through the heart should kill just about anything. Except maybe a zombie, but then you'll just have a zombie head to deal with, not the whole thing...

GlassWalker: tardigrade: Pocket Ninja: Would it even be possible to be both a Vampyr and a werewolf? Biologically speaking, I mean.

No, since both are impossible, biologically speaking.

/ biologist

// Sookeh!

I don't mean this in a fanboy kind of way, but why are vampires, in particular, impossible? There are diseases that create a severe sunlight reaction, and albinism ought to cover the paleness if the reaction to sunlight doesn't. There are creatures that subsist on blood (in whole and in part.) Depending on the mythology you're going for, there are allergies to garlic, phobias for all kinds of things (running water and crosses shouldn't be "impossible", just rare) and a stake through the heart should kill most things.

Are you saying it's just unlikely that all those factors would come together in the same being, or that there's some biological reason that would make vampirism impossible even if we tried to (and were good at) genetic manipulation and whatnot?

Read this book - author sets a med student who develops a blood/posession fetish, and then later becomes the Count of Dracula... interesting twist, can use your theory of a nutcase and doesn't need the crosses/garlic/etc. He kills and uses a small sliver of glass in his mouth to rip the chick's neck open...

RY28: RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

I'd stick with napalm. Pretty much doesn't matter what kind of critter your dealing with be it zombie, face raping space bugs, weres, vamps, or any other things that goes bump in the night. If you're dealing with an unknown biological, I recommend a healthy dose of fire.

Pocket Ninja: Would it even be possible to be both a Vampyr and a werewolf? Biologically speaking, I mean. Can the undead become afflicted with lycanthropy? That actually seems doubtful, since the Vampyr become immune to diseases once they have turned. But perhaps a man bitten by a werewolf, then killed by a Vampyr (aside from being quite misfortunate) would begin his undeath as a were-Vampyr. What a curse that would be. Can you imagine? A Vampyr that would have to change into a werewolf once per month during every full moon? Almost like getting his period. "I can't suck blood tonight, I'm on the full moon."

I wonder if the Vampyr would retain his faculties once the shift happened. Would a wolf be capable of sucking blood? A wolf's mouth is not very well designed as far as forming suction around a puncture or bite wound...at most, I would expect he could only lap up the blood of people he'd bitten. That would make feeding difficult, which would mean the Vampyr would not be getting his required sustenance during each full moon stretch. This would, I'd expect, make the Vampyr vulnerable to other Vampyrs *and* to the pure werewolves also out roaming during this time. Hm. Perhaps this is why we never hear of were-Vampyrs. They cannot survive long, in the wild.

But it's interesting, is it not? The idea, I mean. It raises the possibility of other crosses as well. For example, what if a werewolf becomes bitten by a werebear? Can it become a werewolfbear? Would it become a wolf during one moon and a bear during the other, or would it become some strange, bear/wolf combination? Is there a limit to the number of weres? A werewolfbearpanther? And what if this creature then became bitten by a Vampyr? What then?

They're fascinating, these creatures of the night.



All your monster crossbreeding questions are answered starting at 7:49.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKPRIOKH4Zo

tardigrade: Pocket Ninja: Would it even be possible to be both a Vampyr and a werewolf? Biologically speaking, I mean.

No, since both are impossible, biologically speaking.

/ biologist

// Sookeh!

Pooka?

/troubles with Harry

Rufus Lee King: AverageAmericanGuy: White people problems.

Don't forget Blacula ...

Twilight is essentially "abstinence porn".

Oh, the fact that we don't have sex is sooooo deep and painful and thrilling... repeat ad nauseum.

Get over it. Just have sex already.

Tyrannosaurus Reich: Eh, say what you will about the books, Stephanie, the vapid female main character, and the fans (please, say all that you want, as venomously as you want), but the filmmakers knew what many of us wanted to see, and that's lots of eye-candy.





*pant pant pant*

Ahhh eye bleach please...

/ sorry over the age of 15

Tainted1: RY28: RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

I'd stick with napalm. Pretty much doesn't matter what kind of critter your dealing with be it zombie, face raping space bugs, weres, vamps, or any other things that goes bump in the night. If you're dealing with an unknown biological, I recommend a healthy dose of fire.

No no, you have to destroy the heart. They can regenerate from everything else. And may God help if they've fed.

oMaJoJ: Tainted1: RY28: RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

I'd stick with napalm. Pretty much doesn't matter what kind of critter your dealing with be it zombie, face raping space bugs, weres, vamps, or any other things that goes bump in the night. If you're dealing with an unknown biological, I recommend a healthy dose of fire.

No no, you have to destroy the heart. They can regenerate from everything else. And may God help if they've fed.

Yeah, but it would substantially weaken them to the point that staking them or something similar to destroy their heart wouldn't be an exercise in bloody suicide.

Tainted1: oMaJoJ: Tainted1: RY28: RatMaster999: RY28: Let me guess , she's one of those "daytime vampires " . That just cracks me up . Everybody knows vampires die in the sunlight . Then again maybe there is a special formula sunblock for vampires like SPF10,000 or somethin like that .

Actually, in the older legends, vampires just lose their powers in daylight. Doesn't hurt them at all, but they're suddenly a lot more vulnerable to mortal men.

So daylight may not actually kill a vampire ? How about cutting off their head ? I've been told that may work .

/ I'm sticking with the Brad Pitt/ Tom Cruise version .

I'd stick with napalm. Pretty much doesn't matter what kind of critter your dealing with be it zombie, face raping space bugs, weres, vamps, or any other things that goes bump in the night. If you're dealing with an unknown biological, I recommend a healthy dose of fire.

No no, you have to destroy the heart. They can regenerate from everything else. And may God help if they've fed.

Yeah, but it would substantially weaken them to the point that staking them or something similar to destroy their heart wouldn't be an exercise in bloody suicide.

Just keep the heat on until the heart is burnt.

Griffins army is not amused will use tanks to peak performance to wipe out teams Edward and Jakob.